June goes to her very special place

I am totally not packed even remotely, because I am well-prepared that way. But I have packed in my MIND. Then? I will get in the car and enjoy my Sirius radio. And a mere five hours later? I will be at my

VERY SPECIAL PLACE.

Do you wanna know where I'm going? Okay, you are probably over this mystery. But I? Am gonna see

Doxie
Miss Doxie, bitches!

I know!

When I first started blogging in 2007, I found Miss Doxie and got obsessed. OBSESSED. She is hilarious, she is gorgeous (which is what matters, in my book), she is a fancy lawyer, and she is not a giant giant asshole from assytown, which I would totally be if I had all that going for me.

I read her archives and laughed myself sick (my favorite one is when her friend got the note: "Please come get your black chicken off of my front porch, because it is really, really disgusting and I just can't take it anymore." Her friend framed said note).

I wish to know all Doxie's friends. I wish to steal Doxie's soul. I wish to be Doxie. If she is reading this I'll bet she is not at all nervous now that she has invited me to stay in her home. Doxie, I just plan to do a FEW charcoal sketches of you sleeping. Then I will be done.

I worried for her when she broke up with her longtime boyfriend, and cheered her on when she met a cute new guy. On her wedding day, I woke up excited like I was going. WHICH I COULD HAVE, seeing as she got married RIGHT OUT IN THE OPEN at an old cemetery. But see how not crazy? I did not go.

So a few months back my friend Laura FRIENDED Doxie on Facebook. "That is so stalky!" I said, stampeding for a friend request from not just me but also Tallulah. Miss Doxie friended us both.

Then a while after that, she emailed me. "I just want you to know I am sorry about all the crap going on in your life. I think you're fucking fabulous," she wrote.

Miss Doxie was reading my blog. (!!!) How in the Sam Holy Hill did Miss Doxie find my stupid blog? I didn't ask, I just wrote her back, and do you know after about two emails, I got over the part where I was emailing my new Barry Gibb and just started hearting Doxie as a real person?

Oh, we emailed like banshees. We have had the best time. And she kept saying, Girl, when you coming to Atlanta?

So today is the day. I will be making out with her glorious doxie dogs. I will be meeting her husband, who thinks we are REALLY REALLY WEIRD for being Internet friends. I am making Doxie take me to the cemetery where she got married. It is gonna be a TIME, folks. A TIME.

Will report back as developments warrant. Or when there is a warrant for my arrest. Either way.

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Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

62 thoughts on “June goes to her very special place”

  1. Have a fabulous time in Atlanta! I’m so jealous you are going to be in my town and I don’t get to meet you. You are my Miss Doxie! I can’t wait to hear about your trip!!

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  2. Have fun with Mrs Doxie! I would totally feel the same way if I ever got to meet you! Have a great time, can’t wait to hear all about it.

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  3. I’m so jealous y’all are going to be running around probably less than 10 minutes from my house in Atlanta and I can’t see y’all.
    Have a fabulous time!
    That cemetery is AMAZING by the way. One of my friends used to do tours there and I went on one a few years ago. There are many famous people buried there.
    Be sure and take a picture with Miss Doxie’s tombstone in her dining room too (who sounds stalky now?).
    Be careful driving down here. Oh…y’all are going to have so much fun!!!

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  4. I am with the other people in Georgia except I am an hour north of Atl so I would not even remotely have the chance to see you but how cool is it that you are coming here? Have fun!

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  5. First time commenting, but you already know how much I lurve you,June!
    I am beside myself (hello, nice to meet you) with excitement – you and Miss D are my favourite ladies! (I’m Canadian-spell check just scolded me for trying to spell fav.. the American way)
    Can’t wait to hear all about your visit-PLEASE, PLEASE ask Miss D to post more often!
    Also too as well please give Bo, Gimmme and Kitteh and fabulous Miss D hugs for me- even though I STILL haven’t delurked – just waiting for her next blog-
    Mel- Ima Newa to Youa

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  6. Okay. It has taken me until JUST NOW to figure out what the hell you were talking about when you gave the wiener hint yesterday. I read Mel/Mary Lou’s comment above and it all came together for me. So I’m a little slow, so what? Shoot me.
    Those sausage dogs, right? That crazy-eyed dog who wished you happy birthday by announcing it had feet, lots, right? Those are Miss Doxie’s dog’s. I GET IT NOW. Wieners = DOGS. Not anything at all to do with food or the Oscar Mayer mobile or casturbation.
    Honestly, I don’t know whether to be disappointed or relieved.

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  7. OH. MY. GAAH!!!! My heart might have just stopped beating for a moment. WHY THE HELL CAN’T I LIVE SOMEWHERE IN THE SOUTH SO I COULD STALKY-STALK BOTH OF YOU ALL DING. DANG. DAY???
    Umhmmm… excuse me. Have so much fun. Then post about it. And then send me just a little piece of her hair. And tell her I say Hi and I love you and oops… too soon?
    In summation, you WILL be casturbating all day. In your mind.

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  8. Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! So exciting.
    Hey Atlanta- Hide yo kids and hide yo wife cuz June and Doxie will be together and hilarious!

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  9. YOU ARE COMING TO ATLANTA!!!! Sadie, did you hear that! I know there are several Pie peeps that live here. Why didn’t you tell us. I know you didn’t want to share your time w/Doxie. Are you going to Oakland Cemetery? If so, look for Margaret Mitchell’s grave.

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  10. Anita, that’s just what I was thinking. Let’s see, Beverly, Sadie, Tee, Lindy, Fay, me…we’ll need a large tombstone.

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  11. I would so be there! June needs to eat at Six Feet Under across the street from Oakland Cemetary. Nom Nom! Or go see rhe drag show at Tijuana Garage in L5P that they have every Saturday night. I love Atlanta (most of the time, anyway)!
    We should do an Atlanta area friends of BBP meet up sometime!

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  12. Lindy, I’m buying a house about 1/2 mile from Tijuana Garage and did not know about this drag show. OMG. Now I know this neighborhood is full of my people!!! Ima going to check this out soon. I’ve been to Front Page News quite a few times and had no idea there was a drag show right next door!

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  13. I LOVE Miss Doxie too! Have a wonderful time, and a photo by the tombstone in her dining room would be terrific, you know, if you remember. I can’t wait to read all about this!

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  14. OMG Beverly! Tijuana Garage has the best patio in Atlanta! I love their Magic Bus margarita. I am so jealous that you are going to live 1/2 mile from there; if I lived that close I could stumble home drunkenly. The drag shows are above the restaurant and start around 10pm, I believe.
    Would Hulk go to a drag show?

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  15. Sadie - June knew better than to let the Atlanta Pie peeps in on her plans or we would have been hanging around the cemetary and she wants Mrs. Doxie all to herself. says:

    Whack a mole! Sounds like a dermatologist convention.
    Welcome to Atlanta, Junie Pie. The weather here is absolutely gorgeous. Perfect for walks in the cemetery. Hope you didn’t get delayed in the weekend interstate road work projects.
    If I hear laughter wafting through the air, I’ll know it is you and Mrs. Doxie.

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  16. Take lots of pictures! Have lots of fun! And give lots of love to her doxies! My own dachshund (my 9th birthday present) passed away this past January, at age 16. I miss her terribly, and find myself trying to snuggle every dachshund I come across — luckily, their owners seem to understand.

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  17. Duffylou, the bar opens in 145 minutes. Hope you are hanging in there and all is going well.

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  18. Awesome, June! Happy for you and Doxie…enjoy!
    Gonna have to refer back to this post next month when I go to Atlanta for the O You! Oprah magazine event. It will be my first time visiting the ATL!

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  19. This just in…there has been a sighting of the Pieparazzi at the Oakland Cemetery in Atlanta. No arrests have been made. Yet.

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  20. Broke up with her longtime boyfriend? You mean Dukay’s available?
    I feel it’s completely unnecessary to tell two of the most easily-amused people I fake know to have fun.
    You both make the ordinary anything but.

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  21. Was it ok to go? I didn’t want to be pieparazzi! Stupid me, staying home to work on my stupid basement. Stupid house renovations.

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  22. Lindy, I ran errands most of the day so it wasn’t me hanging around the cemetery.

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  23. I didn’t go stalk them at the cemetery either because I had to do responsible crap like grocery shopping and teaching a painting class at the studio.

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  24. Siren, I just figured that out too. So we can be slow together. I thought she was calling herself a woman of ill-repute.

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  25. JEALOUS. Oh so very jealous. Is what I am. Have a fantastic, wonderful, time of your life!!! Take pictures – non-blurry pictures – please! And tell Leigh it’s been a damn month since she wrote a blog – could you get her right on that? Jealous. Have I mentioned that?

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  26. Woot! That is awesome! πŸ™‚ Oakland Cemetery is the June-iest place that ever Juned.

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  27. Woot! That is awesome! πŸ™‚ Oakland Cemetery is the June-iest place that ever Juned.

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  28. Woot! That is awesome! πŸ™‚ Oakland Cemetery is the June-iest place that ever Juned.

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