Miss Doxie’s Emporium of Fun aka Miss Doxie’s

I left my stupid stupid stupid effing giant makeup bag at Doxie's–the makeup bag that not only contains all my makeup so Ima look like a HAG all week, but also my many many keep-me-sane-ish meds, my mouth guard, and the Latisse I stole from Doxie. Other than that? I had a great time.

Yupiamhere
Miss Doxie's house is beautiful, as you can imagine, and something told me I was there before she even answered the door.

Aneverlastinglove
And really? If you want to put the weekend in a nutshell? This will do it. Doxie picking up an Andy Gibb  trash can in a bathroom so I get a good picture.

As you do.

Bo
Having read Doxie's blog for so many years, to finally meet Bo and Gimme was like meeting, you know, Benji and Snoopy. Lassie and Rin Tin Tin. Marmaduke and — okay, I can't think of any more famous dogs. Anyway, I expected Bo, up there, to be more attitudinal but he was really very sweet. And Gimme, who is blind, basically walks around going, "Where I at?" all the time.

  Boluv
So, yeah. Bonded with the dogs. Her dang cat would not give me play. Oh, I cajoled. I dangled toys. I said kittykittykittykittykitty. Nothing. Cat. Hated the June.

Tombstonewitches
At any rate, Miss and her Doxie had a bunch of friends over, and we made witches. Yes, we did. I told her, I am no good at this crafty thing, but I ended up liking mine. Mine is in the back, on the right, with the big white face. She has a purple skirt and glitter on her cape. Of course.

And yes, that IS a tombstone in D's dining room. She got married to her (FABULOUS) (CUTE) (SO NICE) (HE DESERVES ALL CAPS) husband in the cemetery last year. It's a wonderful old cemetery, and yes, I did insist she take me there.

Junewithzombie
I stole this photo from Miss Doxie's Facebook page. All rights reserved, Miss Doxie. Copyright Miss Doxie. Do not steal from Miss Doxie. Unless you are June right now.

Here I am, above, with D's friend Kim, who I similarly loved, using Miss D's ghost meter. Yes, she does have a ghost meter. And I totally missed the zombie behind me. Story of my life.

Also? I had forgotten my stupid stupid conditioner and hair gel, and M.D. had totally set me up when I got there.

Sstuff
Girl, she had everything for me in that basket. She was an excellent hostess. (My toilet paper? Had a ROSE twisted into the end. A little triangle in the toilet paper? Pishhh. Not good enough. I get a ROSE.) Safety pins, shaving cream, Jude Law, $800,000, washcloths, contact solution, teacup piglets were all in that basket.

Oh, if only there had been teacup piglets.

My POINT is, I needed hair gel. Have you met my hair?  I asked if she had any, but she has the SILKY hair. She said, "Look in this drawer for hair stuff." So I was pawing through Miss Doxie's personal hair accouterments when I saw a box of Latisse.

"Dude. You have Latisse."

"Oh, yeah, I never used it. You want it?"

You KNOW I have been obsessed with Latisse for months now. Totally nabbed the Latisse. Except it's in the huge makeup bag that I LEFT AT DOXIE'S.

Oh, and the point is she didn't have hair gel and that's why my hair is so huge in the ghost photo. Wow. Short segue.

Junendox
At one point in the weekend we were looking at an ad that read, "Now appearing at Hattie's Emporium of Entertainment (aka Hattie's)."

I do not know why this tickled us so. But we giggled about this for 48 years. "Oh, thank heavens they cleared up that it's also known as Hattie's! We'd have been so confused otherwise!" So then I amused myself all weekend by saying, "Bo's couch of lounging, aka Bo's couch. June's hair of largeness and coarse action, aka June's hair."

Who loves herself?

Oh! And also too, we went to a lovely restaurant on Saturday night, and could our waiter have been more ludicrous? He was old; like, you know, my age or even older (I know!) (he was auditioning for a Dannon Yogurt commercial after his shift) (bah) and was he into his job at all?

"Our special is a halibut. Do you like halibut? I recommend this wine with it. It has an acidic aftertaste with a hint, JUST A HINT!, of citrus. Perhaps grapefruit would best describe the citrus aftertaste. It has a smooth start, and one could say it's like a combination of a Shiraz and TJ Swann."

He was obsessed.

When we got home, Doxie was giving her dogs a treat. "Would you like a treat? It's acidic, yet combines the flavor of horse with a hint, JUST A HINT!, of beef marrow."

Who adores our own selves?

Doxmcqeen And by the way, I did take pictures of Brian, Doxie's wonderful spouse, but this computer has crashed 394949393 times while I've been downloading photos and I HATE THIS ABUSED COMPUTER.

Nottogomom
I am glad to be back with my ludicrous pets, as once again they were all, "You goin'?" when they saw the bag. Have made a vow to stay home FOUR WEEKENDS IN A ROW. I know! Lofty goals.

Exactly
But oh, I am glad I got to hang out with the Doxie.

Luvwithgimme

110 thoughts on “Miss Doxie’s Emporium of Fun aka Miss Doxie’s

  1. Guess what Ima doing right now? Ima watching The Princess Bride while I should be cleaning!

    Like

  2. Hulk-sorry to disappoint- not THAT ML!
    I would probably be THE most uncoordinated person you have ever met-
    Bowed legs do not work well on balance beams-
    You would die laughing if you saw me dancing -especially to Nelly…
    Not Mary Lou Retton

    Like

  3. June’s full a something…
    Not Chloe thinks June is cool. Especially when June brought her little stuffed dog back. Trust was established…
    From this moment on, you are officially titled “Not MLR”…

    Like

  4. Hulk-
    I am honoured, the Canadian way-
    Is this equivalent to a knighthood?
    Knightess-hood?
    Are congratulations in order?
    Enquiring minds want to know-
    Not MLR

    Like

  5. Mrs. June Hulk has a nice ring to it. I bet it comes with a nice ring as well.

    Like

  6. Yeah, but then I’d have to be all “Make Love Not War”, and wear hemp shirts and shit…

    Like

  7. Germany is awesome! Beer and more beer and great food and castles! And me and my awesome family! Does not get better than that. I make enough money for groceries, so you would just have to supply the fun stuff 🙂

    Like

  8. Lindy- My mama always said a man wants a lady in the living room, a gourmet cook in the kitchen and a you-know-what in the bedroom says:

    If we are auditioning for the role of Mrs. Hulk, I would like to throw my name in the hat. I’m thirty, cook all different types of cuisine and I love football.

    Like

  9. FINE! Have him. Have Hulk and Doxie and Joann and cool helpful neighbors and cute cats and dogs and everything. I will just sit here with my consolation price and read about your high falooting (I know that cannot be how that is spelled) life with Hulk.

    Like

  10. Oh. Thank you. Learned something new today. Is Beverly Hillbillies a TV show? No matter what it is, I have heard of it, but never seen it or read it or whatever you do with it.

    Like

  11. Ima laughing myself sick here with the strudle struttin’, hemp shirt wearin’, cat fightin’ over who’s gonna be Mrs. Hulk comments!!!
    Hulk-I am CanadiAn-meaning not from Quebec-
    Oke Doke with the Eh,
    I get that a lot-
    Not MLR,Eh?

    Like

  12. Oh, Sandra definitely wins comment of the week.
    And where’s Zadge? she needs to throw her hat into the Imma Marry Hulk ring.
    And speaking of rings, Hulk, June has the advantage when it comes to displaying the beautiful sparkler you’re going to buy your wife. You know, she has those nice hands and all.
    Boy, your mom’s going to have some stiff competition in the Hulk’s wife department.

    Like

  13. To hijack for a moment… Miss Pam, my dil made the most beautiful bride. She relaxed last week once everything was in place. Our relationship has been nothing but harmonious.
    It stopped raining at 3:00, the sun came out and everything was set up outdoors in time for the 4:00 wedding. The wedding was lovely. A small intimate affair that I will treasure always. I am a lucky lady to have such wonderful kids.

    Like

  14. Am I the only hillbilly that doesn’t know about guest room baskets?

    Like

  15. Up until 2:30 pm my day wasn’t going so well. After my second trip to a beauty salon that day and after blowing over $150 on hair that should have only cost $63 plus tip, I was thinking someone had it in for me.
    When all was said an done…after all the smoke cleared, my son was married in a nice ceremony to a beautiful girl. And we had a big party aftwerward.
    The only thing I would change would be my son’s being under the weather. He wasn’t his bright effervescent self.
    And no koolaid. Vodka.

    Like

  16. Congratulations Duffy, the relief must be enormous.
    Happy birthday OJ.
    Good luck, Hulk, you sound pretty confident.
    Terri, I have never heard of a guest room basket, but then I don’t have a guest room anyway. We have children or grownups giving up their rooms when guests come.
    June, I’m so glad you you had fun with Ms. Dachshund. I love the tombstone and the witches. Were the fabulous pictures of you and MD taken by her new hubby? They are very nice.

    Like

  17. Hulk, pick June, after all, she’s already got a ring from what’s his name. And if she throws her Bye Bye Buy experience into the mix after a year you’ll have $1928473615!!!

    Like

  18. Good luck, Hulk! Duffylou, congratulations to you and your son and his new wife! And June, it’s okay — I didn’t notice the zombie in the picture, either, until you mentioned it in the following paragraph.

    Like

  19. Sadie - "I have not been formally offered any position...". Hulk, you have been complaining of this for a long time. Oh, you talking about your place of employment? Never mind. says:

    All of this competition for the future Mrs. Hulk has me laughing. Hulk, you realize if the new job goes to someone else, June won’t even remember your name. But, of course, that isn’t going to happen because you are the man for the job….so the cat fight continues.

    Like

  20. Sadie - "I have not been formally offered any position...". Hulk, you have been complaining of this for a long time. Oh, you talking about your place of employment? Never mind. says:

    All of this competition for the future Mrs. Hulk has me laughing. Hulk, you realize if the new job goes to someone else, June won’t even remember your name. But, of course, that isn’t going to happen because you are the man for the job….so the cat fight continues.

    Like

  21. Sadie - "I have not been formally offered any position...". Hulk, you have been complaining of this for a long time. Oh, you talking about your place of employment? Never mind. says:

    All of this competition for the future Mrs. Hulk has me laughing. Hulk, you realize if the new job goes to someone else, June won’t even remember your name. But, of course, that isn’t going to happen because you are the man for the job….so the cat fight continues.

    Like

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