Somehow yesterday I got into a discussion with Faithful Reader Siren re her cat's disproportionately huge anus.
Siren said I could show all y'all only if I also included a photo of her cat not being anus-y.
Note that she is still trying to show off that bunghole even in this shot.
Anyway. I know that should be enough to keep you informed for today, but also want to tell you what the psychic said.
On Sunday, I went to brunch with my friend The Other June, and I am sorry to tell you I ordered fried green tomatoes on an English muffin. There were poached eggs on top of the tomatoes. And then hollandaise sauce. Followed by crumpled bacon.
Why so enormous?
After our light, healthy brunch, I said, "You wanna go over to the nutty granola crystal store and get our fortunes told?" Naturally The Other June was down with that.
What I failed to tell her until we were seven seconds from the front door is that the nutty crystal store features two kittens: a black one and a total Kitler. The Kitler has a big black swoop in the front that looks just like Hitler's brilliant and fashionable 'do, and also a teensy mustache.
And who did not have a camera with her? Was it me?
The kittens are about my kittens' age now, and are they floppy at all? They are so used to people mauling them that you can pick them up while they're sleeping and they stay asleep. Which I may know from experience.
At any rate, I went in first because I am alpha friend.
"Oooo!" said the psychic, who had a huge ametheyst crysal on a chain all nestled in her bosoms. "You've had lots of stay-bility and now you've had a big change."
She pronounced it stay-bility. Didn't irk me at all. But anyway, that part was true.
"You seem to be handling it well." Okay. I'll agree with that. Have not had any Bridget Jones moments of drinking an entire bottle of wine and singing "All By Myself."
Then she told me some stuff about Daniel Boone that was scarily true, which I feel like I cannot delve into without telling you Daniel Boone's every secret.
"Ooo!" she said, and I was really wishing she'd stop with the "ooo" thing. I mean, what if the next sentence was "Get your affairs in order"?
"At the end of the year, you will get a message that makes you say, 'That is it. I will never fall in love again.' But don't listen to that, because right after the first of the year you'll have a big romance."
Also, she said I was going to be okay, moneywise, probably because of the part where I find a way to blackmail Hulk, with his fabulous new income.
She also said if I am offered a trip between now and the end of the year, I should take it.
"I see you in really good health," she said. "Drinking more water and starting a new exercise regime."
Does this torture that Vilhelm is making me do count as a new regime? I was thinking it was more a suicide attempt.
Then she told me I had one of the best readings she'd seen in awhile. So that was exciting. Unless the last person she read was Amy Winehouse or something.
So there it is. My future. Let's all see if it comes true now.