In case you were fretting and wringing your hands, I seem to be on the mend.
I also had much time to enjoy Roger and his tail. Seriously, that tail is frightening. You know how sometimes cats are born with two faces? I think he got the tail of some sibling in the womb. Just added it to his own. He can leap from the counter all the way across the room to the top of the fridge with no effort whatsoever. He is a chimp. A kittemp.
"Kittemp" makes a ton of sense.
I did drag myself up off the couch yesterday to go to the movies. I saw 50/50, that movie with Seth Rogen where his friend has cancer. You know how I am–a cancer movie is just my style. Anyway, it was really good and I highly recommend it. One barf scene.
Maybe this should be my new calling in life, alerting you to barf scenes in films. Except then I'd have to sit through barf scenes, which is why I have never seen Stand By Me or Bridesmaids.
Oh, and also? My new phone came, and I desperately miss my iPhone. Am unsure if I can go on with this barbaric phone. I mean, there's starvation and war and pestilence, but come ON. Those things are bad, but living without an iPhone once you have tasted the sweet plastic or whatever? There is nothing worse.
Oh! And in other pressing news, I got my check from Google ads (thank y'all), and I stampeded to the bank to deposit it last night (my mail now comes after 5 p.m. It used to come at 10 a.m. and then they laid everyone off or something and now it's practically dark out by the time I get my mail. First I have to tolerate no iPhone and then THIS? I am practically The Little Match Girl at this point.) and as luck would have it, you can SEE an Ulta store from my bank. Now, you know I detest the Ulta since they screwed me over last year.
However. I got my annual Allure Best of Beauty edition this month, and let me tell you, there is no porn in all the world as exciting as Allure's Best of Beauty edition. This year they featured 193 beauty products that they think are the best right now.
Each year I pore through Allure's Best of Beauty like it holds the secrets to the universe. Because it does. And what Allure told me was that Ulta had the best nude lipstick, and that it was less than three dollars.
So as much as I detest Ulta, I went in. I have been battling with myself for weeks now–should I go in or not? There were my principals, but there is also the part where if I just found the right nude lipstick my life would be complete.
So last night I did it. I went to effing Ulta. And do you know they have all kinds of things that are new in there? Oh, I had fun. I forgot I felt ill. I forgot I hated Ulta. I forgot I am broke, despite my giant Google ads check.
I fell in love with this perfume even though it is called So Hooked on Carmella and I really have no wish to smell like Tony Soprano's wife.
I had trouble finding the Ulta lipsticks, because they differented everything up in that store since I last stormed out, but finally I did, and guess what. GUESS WHAT.
That lipstick and that less-than-three-dollar-price did not exist. And THIS is why I hate Ulta. And also Allure's weird tie to Ulta.
I found an Ulta lipstick for $8 called Pink Chocolate or Chocolate Pink–whatever–and oh, did I like it. And this is JUST WHAT ALLURE WANTED ME TO DO, was to go into that satanic Ulta and end up spending more than three dollars on something else.
But oh, that Pink Chocolate or Chocolate Pink is an excellent color.
I am very linky today. I am Linky Tuscardero.
Have I already done that one? I know in the past I have been Abraspam Lincoln and Link Martindale. It's hard to keep track of all my hilarity.
So I guess that is all I have to tell you about my purchases and lusts and willingness to forget my principals.
Oh! And comment of the week goes to Amy in MD. I do not know if Amy is literally inside a doctor or what. But for some reason her little quip cracked me up.