June has first-world problems

In case you were fretting and wringing your hands, I seem to be on the mend.

Room
I realized, being home all these days in a row, that I don't get to see a lot of pretty-things-the-light-does in my house, because I am off toiling all day. At least my iron gets to appreciate it.

Tailboy
I also had much time to enjoy Roger and his tail. Seriously, that tail is frightening. You know how sometimes cats are born with two faces? I think he got the tail of some sibling in the womb. Just added it to his own. He can leap from the counter all the way across the room to the top of the fridge with no effort whatsoever. He is a chimp. A kittemp.

"Kittemp" makes a ton of sense.

I did drag myself up off the couch yesterday to go to the movies. I saw 50/50, that movie with Seth Rogen where his friend has cancer. You know how I am–a cancer movie is just my style. Anyway, it was really good and I highly recommend it. One barf scene.

Maybe this should be my new calling in life, alerting you to barf scenes in films. Except then I'd have to sit through barf scenes, which is why I have never seen Stand By Me or Bridesmaids.

Oh, and also? My new phone came, and I desperately miss my iPhone. Am unsure if I can go on with this barbaric phone. I mean, there's starvation and war and pestilence, but come ON. Those things are bad, but living without an iPhone once you have tasted the sweet plastic or whatever? There is nothing worse.

Oh! And in other pressing news, I got my check from Google ads (thank y'all), and I stampeded to the bank to deposit it last night (my mail now comes after 5 p.m. It used to come at 10 a.m. and then they laid everyone off or something and now it's practically dark out by the time I get my mail. First I have to tolerate no iPhone and then THIS? I am practically The Little Match Girl at this point.) and as luck would have it, you can SEE an Ulta store from my bank. Now, you know I detest the Ulta since they screwed me over last year.

However. I got my annual Allure Best of Beauty edition this month, and let me tell you, there is no porn in all the world as exciting as Allure's Best of Beauty edition. This year they featured 193 beauty products that they think are the best right now.

Each year I pore through Allure's Best of Beauty like it holds the secrets to the universe. Because it does. And what Allure told me was that Ulta had the best nude lipstick, and that it was less than three dollars.

So as much as I detest Ulta, I went in. I have been battling with myself for weeks now–should I go in or not? There were my principals, but there is also the part where if I just found the right nude lipstick my life would be complete.

So last night I did it. I went to effing Ulta. And do you know they have all kinds of things that are new in there? Oh, I had fun. I forgot I felt ill. I forgot I hated Ulta. I forgot I am broke, despite my giant Google ads check.

I fell in love with this perfume even though it is called So Hooked on Carmella and I really have no wish to smell like Tony Soprano's wife.

I had trouble finding the Ulta lipsticks, because they differented everything up in that store since I last stormed out, but finally I did, and guess what. GUESS WHAT.

That lipstick and that less-than-three-dollar-price did not exist. And THIS is why I hate Ulta. And also Allure's weird tie to Ulta.

However.

I found an Ulta lipstick for $8 called Pink Chocolate or Chocolate Pink–whatever–and oh, did I like it. And this is JUST WHAT ALLURE WANTED ME TO DO, was to go into that satanic Ulta and end up spending more than three dollars on something else.

Dammit!

But oh, that Pink Chocolate or Chocolate Pink is an excellent color.

I am very linky today. I am Linky Tuscardero.

Have I already done that one? I know in the past I have been Abraspam Lincoln and Link Martindale. It's hard to keep track of all my hilarity.

So I guess that is all I have to tell you about my purchases and lusts and willingness to forget my principals.

Oh! And comment of the week goes to Amy in MD. I do not know if Amy is literally inside a doctor or what. But for some reason her little quip cracked me up.

Carry on.

52 thoughts on “June has first-world problems

  1. I won’t let myself go into Ulta because i always want to buy everything and cannot. I have to try all the make up and end up with my hands covered in a thousand different colors. I may have to check on that lipstick though, that does look like a pretty color.
    Glad you are feeling better!

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  2. As a new supervisor I would NOT be happy to hear that you called in sick to work then went to a movie and shopping…

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  3. Pink Chocolate. Sounds delectable. I would be tempted to eat it.
    Hulk is practicing his new job. Sounds like he is going to be one of those supervisors with a puppy flagpole up his arse.

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  4. So, when not wearing clothes, you wear lipstick. Maybe if you were wearing clothes you wouldn’t have caught a cold.

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  5. So, when not wearing clothes, you wear lipstick. Maybe if you were wearing clothes you wouldn’t have caught a cold.

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  6. So, when not wearing clothes, you wear lipstick. Maybe if you were wearing clothes you wouldn’t have caught a cold.

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  7. I’m just here to inform you about the barf scene in Bridesmaids. There is much going on, not just barfing, and it’s freaking hilarious. There is one part which is truly cringe-worthy but it is over quickly. DO NOT LET THIS STOP YOU FROM SEEING THIS MOVIE!!! Rent it and you can fast forward through the puke scene. Just hit play when Kristen Wiig is sweating profusely and talking to another woman and when Maya Rudolph runs out of the bridal shop.
    I want to go see 50/50 this weekend but I’m living on Brokebank Mountain.

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  8. Wait a minute. That’s just girl logic. You know, like getting a chocolate doughnut for dessert because you had a salad for dinner. You bought a lipstick for eight dollars. Shipping would have been cheaper, right?

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  9. Glad you’re feeling better, June!
    The tail of Roger IS freakishly long-
    Also freakish- I’m still catching up on your blogs, so by Mon. I was up to June 25/09- the day Farrah and MJ died-
    The trial for his doctor started on Tues.-
    Now THAT is WEIRD…
    Wishing you a non-freakishly weird weekend-

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  10. I love Kristen, Maya, and Melissa, but by the end of Bridesmaids, *I* wanted to barf.
    That said, I do still want to be Jan.

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  11. Junie, you had a better day sick than I had well. Yay you! I haven’t been to a movie theater in years. As in several. Ugh.
    I’m really sorry for everyone experiencing drought conditions. Unfortunately it is the opposite here. It has rained for the last week. The thermostat in my house reads 60 degrees. The weather is really depressing.
    Paula, Sephora is more glamorous and hands on than Ulta. Sephora also gives you samples with your purchase. Ulta is more open and bright. They handle brands from Maybeline up to Urban Decay and Stilla. Just like Sephora, they have their own line of products. Some of them have their own Salons, thus the reason June hates them with a vengence.

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  12. So being a good reader, I follow your link to the 3.00 nude lipstick and I am reading the description and I come across this phrase: “enriched with a luxurious new fragrance”. What the hell does that mean? That has got to be one of the most ridiculous things ever and if I were a lipstick wearer I would never buy that lipstick just on principle. That being said, I’m glad you found your lipstick, enjoy your Hyaluronic Filling Spheres, they will give you a soft and smooth pout.

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  13. So being a good reader, I follow your link to the 3.00 nude lipstick and I am reading the description and I come across this phrase: “enriched with a luxurious new fragrance”. What the hell does that mean? That has got to be one of the most ridiculous things ever and if I were a lipstick wearer I would never buy that lipstick just on principle. That being said, I’m glad you found your lipstick, enjoy your Hyaluronic Filling Spheres, they will give you a soft and smooth pout.

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  14. So being a good reader, I follow your link to the 3.00 nude lipstick and I am reading the description and I come across this phrase: “enriched with a luxurious new fragrance”. What the hell does that mean? That has got to be one of the most ridiculous things ever and if I were a lipstick wearer I would never buy that lipstick just on principle. That being said, I’m glad you found your lipstick, enjoy your Hyaluronic Filling Spheres, they will give you a soft and smooth pout.

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  15. I thought that catten on the floor was Anderson.
    Hulk, Junie did her coworkers a favor by not going to work and spreading her cooties. I suspect the theater was almost empty, less spreading to do there.

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  16. I prefer Sephora.
    I am equally barf-free and I adored Bridesmaids. Funny as shit, literally.
    Contagion is a huge no-no what with sll the barfy scenes I hear of.
    Glad you are out of the woods, you still got to see the bright light.

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  17. Oh I hate barf in the movies – and I haven’t seen Bridesmaids yet so maybe I will pass. I would rather see blood than barf and I don’t like blood either. Basically I am a wimp.
    Glad to hear you’re feeling better and can shop and go to the movies and what all….

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  18. No back talk, huh?
    I had a co-worker, actually he was my best friend (at work), on immuno-suppressant drugs because he was a kidney transplant patient. He died as a result of pneumonia (cooties) not kidney problems. This is why people need to STAY HOME if they are sick. I had sick leave, my friend didn’t. Just thought you would like my perspective.

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  19. I am prefacing this story by saying in no way am I making fun of or slighting anyone’s religion or beliefs. It just happened and I am retelling it.
    I worked for an international freight forwarder. On 9/11 one of my employees flew into my office in tears, slammed the door shut and flung herself sobbing into one of my guest chairs.
    *blink*
    Me: Lara. I know we’re all upset, but you need to calm down.
    Lara: You don’t understand. The world is ending and I haven’t been saved.
    *blink*
    (Lara had discussions with me previously about being a Jehova’s Witness.)
    Lara: I’m not going to be with Micah, (her fiance), because I haven’t been saved and THE WORLD IS ENDING!!! THEY TOLD US IT WOULD HAPPEN! IT’S HAPPENING THE WORLD IS ENDING AND I’M NOT SAAA-AA-VVVED.
    Honestly, this went on for nearly an hour before I convinced her the world was not ending. I actually had to hold her hand to take her to the tv so she could hear the news reports.
    Then I went to my boss to request Lara be allowed to go home. I did not think I could take a talk like that again. Fortunately we all ended up going home.

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  20. Girl! I saw Bridesmaids for the first time last night and the entire time Kristen Wig’s character reminded me so much of you. Part of it is the hair but there’s other stuff too.
    Have other people brought this up before? Funny in my Mind, Jan do you agree? And I’m pretty anti-barf myself (although I just got back from watching my sweet little daughter throw up while running at her cross country meet. She never stopped running. I’m actually pretty proud.) The point is, holy crap is that movie funny!
    Glad you feel better.

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  21. WHY don’t I have an Ulta??? I HAVE Sephoras. Sephori. Sephorae.
    (Monroe is where the outlets are. There is never EVER enough parking, not to mention people are bused in from all over so it’s all asses and elbows wherever you try to shop. So we never go there. There is no good time to be there. Ok, maybe at 7:00 am in the pouring rain or bitter cold because it’s not covered. For the love of sweet pickled Jesus, I’d rather pay full price than battle the lumpenproletariat. Or the lumpen rude shoppers.)

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  22. Just Paula, I’d pick a Sephora over an Ulta any day. But I only ever wear mascara and Burt’s Bees with the occasional slathering of the same shade of lipstick ever since 1991 (Mac, Twig). So what do I know?
    I have unreasonable love for the word proletariat. Thanks for using it today.

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  23. Sick – I was more surprised at all of the folks telling June to go to the doctor…for a cold? Do they really do that where all y’all live?
    What is the doctor supposed to do for a cold?

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  24. I don’t quite get the joke about “lusts and willingness to forget my principals.” Did you have a lustful principal when you were in school?

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  25. Sephora is way better than Ulta, they just don’t have a salon. Which apparantly you get lousy service at (I’ve never been to have my hair done).

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  26. I can not believe Roger’s tail. If that tail is any indication of the size he’s going to be, Junie you are going to need yet another job in order to feed his gigantic self! He just might eat poor Anderson and Edsel had better watch his back-I’m just saying. 😉

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  27. Oh! I’ve been meaning to tell you, because I know how you like to try new make up, that you must try Revlon’s new mascara Custom Eyes if you haven’t already. I buy all the new stuff too and rarely am impressed and have a pile of junk I never use; however, I really like this mascara! I barely have any eyelashes and the brush makes mine show up and makes them look nice and long. Its got an adjustable brush that’s neat too! Here is a link to their site so you can check it out if you want: http://www.revlon.com/Revlon-Home/Products/Eyes/Mascara/Revlon-CustomEyes-Mascara.aspx

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  28. I’ve never admitted this on here before but apparently I’m feeling brave today: I always get my hair done at the salon in Ulta.
    The first time I went, the girl I had my appointment with didn’t show up for work but someone else took me. He is now my go-to guy all the time. I don’t even have to tell him what to do when I go in. I just give his cute dread locked self a huge hug, sit down and tell him to do whatever he thinks I need. I’ve only been a tiny bit disappointed by him once in many years, but it was when I went in and found out his wife had just died two weeks before from cancer so I gave him a gigantic pass that time.
    So June, if you ever come back to Atlanta I could make you an appointment with my guy. Yeah, I suppose that’s a little far to drive for a cut and color. Sigh.

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  29. so, I asked “why does June hate Ulta? I like my Ulta.” So I went and read about your horrible experience and found out WHY I suddenly started receiving In Style magazine. I distinctly said no, I already get too many magazines. Then, a few weeks later, In Style arrives. But, my husband mysteriously started getting Newsweek and Reader’s Digest (that no one will confess to signing him up for, and Newsweek is actually pretty good) and I thought it was part of that puzzle. But NO. Fine. Now I will have to make up with Sephora (we’ve been on the outs for a while).

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