Chew and a choo-choo

First of all, it's not good that this is happening, right?

A VINE is growing in my HOUSE. I mean, hi. Welcome, Nature.

I went outside and pulled all the vines I could, even though some of them have scary scary spiderwebs on them and YES, I homelessed a spider or two, okay? I have a VINE growing in my HOUSE.

This corner, here, is not only where I make all my extra cash (BAH!), it is also where the end of the house USED to be met by the added-on room they made, where the angry chair resides. (In case you are just tuning in, I didn't ALWAYS have agreeable kittens, you know. I used to have a quite disagreeable cat named Francis. He was not cheerful. He sat on a pink chair. He was not to be effed with. The end.)

So yeah. June. At two with nature.

In other big news, yesterday was my one-year anniversary of getting Edsel.

Whygod Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

Oh. Right. Because he was a total muffinhead. LOOK at him! His earses didn't stand at attention yet.

Anyway, in honor of this auspicious day, I went around and documented for you everything I could find that Edsel has chewed.

Proud edSul prowd. even chew callar off.

Exhibit A. My silver flipflop. Which by the way I liked. I enjoy the Edsel fur he left behind. His little calling card.

The pillow I ALSO got a year ago October 2, as I was intelligent enough to purchase a new couch and get a new puppy on the same day. That's me. Allllways thinking.

My Royal Wedding bookmark that my Aunt Mary just sent me from London. And yes, that coffee table DOES look filthy when it's all blown up like this.

My fancy black wedge heels for work. Nothing says "Take me seriously" like some teeth marks on your pointy part.

He has not only chewed the dog bed, but also Roger. I kind of got a two-for-one deal on this shot.

Once I removed this cover in order to really try to get the fur off it? The Edsel fur? And while I was concentrating on that? Edsel ate the foam of the couch. So now it is misshapen.


And in the category of things-I-wish-I-hadn't-seen-him-chew, he munched the litterbox scoop.

  Photo on 10-2-11 at 9.19 PM
But you know what? I love this ridiculous dog. You know, sometimes more than others. But he is a sweetheart. A sweetheart with too many teefs. And an inexplicable interest in cat bits.

Happy anniversary, Edsel. I got you a chew toy. It's called the house.

(And don't worry. Ima tell you about my zoo sign tomorrow!)

93 thoughts on “Chew and a choo-choo

  1. Fluke – Any of numerous flatworms of the class Trematoda, including both external and internal parasites of animal hosts, that have a thick outer cuticle and one or more suckers or hooks for attaching to host tissue. Also can refer to a flatfish, like a flounder.


  2. OW OW OW MY EYES!! Your pictures are so sharp, they cut me.
    “You’re the worst kind. You think you’re low maintenance but you’re really high maintenance.”


  3. I’ll make a bet my ex-husband adjusts himself at least 30 times an hour. It was extremely embarrassing. Especially while having a conversation with others and there he his jiggling his junk.


  4. I can’t believe it’s been a year already. Wow. Great pictures, June, but really, why do you have all those chewed up things still around? I would dispose of the evidence as soon as possible so that the doggie could live to see another day. Every time I’d look at those things I would get all mad again. But I guess looking at those toofs would make me get over it, because who could resist?
    Happy Edsiversary.
    And I love the spaghetti/cat box scoop. But doesn’t the hole in the middle make it less than effective?


  5. I’m going to be really mad at Edsel if he eats your Zoo sign.


  6. But if Daniel Boone shoved the whole zoo sign in the ground, as June reliably informs us, Edsel will have to dig it up before he can gnaw on it.


    See, this is why people are just not so sure about The South. I wonder if it is growing inside the insulation, just building up the strength to come busting through the vents and the little nail holes you put in the walls for pictures.
    Although, if you cropped out the pipe in that first photo, the Killer Vine would look almost artsy. All white and shadowed with a pop of green.


  8. MTM, arent you supposed to be checking…whatever it is you told me you had to work on this afternoon? I like how I am asking you this via my comments when we are a six-inch cubicle wall apart.


  9. June,
    The photo above makes that ADORABLE zoo sign look like a snack bar for Edsel. Just the right height. It cracks me up that on a day when you have a photo montage of all the things Edsel has chewed, it didn’t OCCUR to you that the GIANT SIGN in his backyard AT HIS LEVEL would be perfectly chewable.
    heehee. You’re funny!


  10. Yes, I like that too, June, but please note that it took me an hour to respond because I was working–not on the thing I told you I’d be doing, because I had to finish a different thing that was handed to me at lunch and now I have to read another thing before getting back to the first thing. While occasionally admiring the clarity of your photos.


  11. What a great post! I have a stray dog (well, he’s not a stray any longer) who loves to chew the corners off the couch pillows and the dog beds, so I can relate. I just love Edsel’s teef. Happy anniversary, you two.


  12. Hi Duffylou! I read this story earlier today. It’s so sad, but I can’t imagine that Anderson or the network could be held responsible. Sounds like the kid’s parents were on board with the project too.
    In other news, Hank Williams Jr was yanked from the MNF intro after comparing the president to Hitler on a daytime talk show.


  13. Oh, my that picture of you and Edsel is perfectly sweet and, well perfect. I didn’t even read any comments, I just scrolled really fast to tell you I loved that picture! Now, I really need to grade those tests!


  14. Just Paula – Does the woman of whom you write speak a variety of English other than American? If so, then she likely uses “has/have” differently than Americans do, when speaking of a group of things.
    Happy Edselversary!
    If you have DB come back over and redo the train, putting it on the top of your roof like a giant Xmas decoration…well, that would put it out of Edsel’s reach, see.
    “The vine in your crack might be bad for your plumbing!” Hahahaha.


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