June touches on the many important topics of the day

Whaaaat must you bozzer. bizzy being gray.

I love how it seems like Anderson Cooper is a solid gray cat, but really he is stripey. He is Fruit Stripe gum. Except his flavor lasts. Fruit Stripe was always such a disappointment 11 seconds later.

Really today I have nothing to tell you except that it was an excellent–EXCELLENT!–episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills last night. I like the new young girl, the one who got dumped by her husband so he could marry that not-so-attractive Leann Rimes or whatever her name is. I always thought Leann Rimes looked about 42 when she was 14. I don't know what it is. Anyway, first wife is way prettier. 

And for those of you reading who are named Hulk, so far this post is torment. Cats AND the Real Housewives.

Did you ever notice that they have Kyle doing the "Last time, on the Real Housewives" thing when it starts, and she pronounces it "Houzewives"? Annoying. As bad as Vicki from the Orange County one who says, "Prevusly on the Real Housewives."

Prevusly. Why are these people richer than me?

Oh! You know what I was thinking? I mean, when I'm not having pressing thoughts about the Real Houzewives?

I am fat. Fat phat fat. I was thinking as an incentive, or incenative, as my grandmother would say, you guys could all sign up, and if I don't lose 15 pounds by the end of the year, I have to pay a dollar to everyone who signs up. What say you? I could take a picture of the scale so you know I'm not lying.

I don't mean just the scale. My WEIGHT on the scale. "Oh, June MUST be telling the truth! There's her scale!"

Let me know if you are in. I thought about doing a bet, like if I lose you all have to pay ME a dollar, but the logistics of that are ludicrous. PayPal won't take just a dollar, it'd have to be $2, and that seems too steep. So instead I'll just have the threat that I may owe tens of dollars to my tens of readers.

I have to go shower, as I am wont to do, but before I leave this important and life-changing post, I wanted to show you photo evidence of my pets' dysfunctional relationship.


They spend half the day beating the crap out each other. Roger catapults (bah) onto Edsel's head, tearing at his eyeballs and kicking his jugular. Edsel puts that kitten's whole head in his mouth and knocks him over and spits all down his cat back. And then? They hold hands and fall asleep. It's sick, I tell you. It's like every relationship I had in the '80s.

Okay, going now. Oh, and go friend Tallulah Gardens on Facebook to hear about how Edsel peed on her head.

192 thoughts on “June touches on the many important topics of the day

  1. My husband has lost 40lbs since the 1st of the year using http://loseit.com
    It’s a free app for your Iphony, or you can just use the website. I haven’t lost any weight because I’ve been stressed out of my mind this year and totally abusing food. I was just telling my husband at dinner that I needed to start using the program to get myself under control.
    Oh also on the Loseit.com you can connect with your friends and compare notes and encourage each other. That might work, if you all wanted to start up a club or something.
    Also, I always wanted a Chrissy doll but my cousin had one and she would swing it by it’s retractable hair, so my mom decided I didn’t need one!
    Oh and June you’ve got to start watching a new show on TLC called Long Island Medium.
    It’s a reality show following Long Island Psychic Theresa Caputo. It’s great!


  2. Hulk (The Ex was like that...I'd say "I don't understand how you can remember that I embarressed you at your cousin's wedding 5 years ago, but you can't remember to turn off the lighhts in a room you JUST LEFT...) says:

    That is weird, June.
    Hey. Guess what one thing your next husband is going to HATE about you?


  3. June, I’ll send you $2 bucks if you lose 15 pounds, too! I lost 85 pounds 4 years ago. It might sound like something you do for a little kid, but the reward system works!!
    Also, my mother sent me a sign for my office door that I think you should have as well. It says, “I’m the grammarian about which your mother warned you!”


    Just got home from work and missed your tips but I had googled it before I left and command zero solved the problem-
    At least I know how it happened-when 2 or 3 finger scrolling, your fingers must be together- if they are spread, it alters the text-


  5. June,
    Also loving LI Medium-
    I seriously cried through the first episode!
    I’m also addicted to Say Yes to the Dress-New York and Atlanta-
    Monte is a scream, especially when he sings Ava Maria-


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