whY mom sAy the bAD wurdSS?

GuestposterWritten by Edsel Gardens, guest poster

Edsul wait. He wate for mom to get home. Edsul stand on cowch. When mom get home? When mom get home? Yousalee she home by now. Where mom. Chew on cowch a little.

Mom get home. "I work late" mom say. "I work hard today" mom say two. "It rayning. Do Edsul and Taloola want to go outs?"

Edsul go out. It wet in sky. It wet a lot. Edsuls run around Nyway. It fun. Taloo not like when it wet from sky. Taloo stand at door. BARK say Taloo. BARK! she say. BARK! BARK! BARK!

"Okayyyy, Taloo," say mom. She have book in her hand. "Mom work lots. Mom want to reed her book now."

We go in. Mom makeeng soups. She feed dum cats. She feed Taloo. She feed Edsuls. It brown crunchy food, which is Edsel favorite. crunch crunch crunch. Good is food.

"STOP IT RODGERS!" I heer mom say. Rodger have head in pan. He eating mom soop. "STOP IT!" she say. Rodger keep eeting soup. Taloo is giggling. Rodger is giggling. Mom put Rodger on floor.

"Mom just want to eat soop and reed #$%&# book" she say.

We all go over to mom an her soop. Catz climb on mom. Taloo put foot on mom. Edsel show mom bottom teefs.

"EVryone leeve mom alone" mom say. "Mom JUST WANT TO READ BOOK AND EAT #%$$@@# SOOP."

Catz still climb on mom. Eds still show teefs. Mom put bowl away. She sit on cowch.

crunchcrunchcrunch

"EDSEL WHAT YOU HAVE" say mom. She sound mad. Edsul run. Mom take screw out Edsul mouf. Screw left from when mom put new curtains up in sky.

"MOM JUST WANT TO REED BOOK! #&%@@&##" she say.

She sit on cowch. She open book.

Skrinkle! Skrinkle! Skrinkle!

WHAT NOW!! mom yell.

Rodgur chewing plastyc bag. He have head way in there. "GET OUT OF BAG!" mom say. She put bag away. She open book. She close book. This time mom stompeeng.

"GET OUT OF CAT FUD!" mom yell. Andersun in cat fud bag. He tear big whole in there. He standeeng in hole.

"MOM JUST WANT TO REED BOOK" say mom. She look upsets. "$@@#%^&!" she say.

Edsul come to help. He lay on mom. He watch mom reed book. Taloo come lay on mom too. Taloo say, Hmmm. Hmmmm.

…HMMMMMMMMMMMM.

"We not going on walk Taloo" mom say. "IT RAINING RELLY HARD. NO WALK."

Hmmmm, say Taloo.

I JUST WANT TO REED MY BOOK, yell mom.

Edsul get kind of nervus. Chew mom blanket just a little. Mom say LEEF IT and read her book.

HMMMM, say Taloo.

Mom get big nostril. Her face look mad. Edsul come in heer and write post.

Think mom just want to reed book.

86 thoughts on “whY mom sAy the bAD wurdSS?

  1. *Unsolicited advice alert*
    We keep the huge bag of dog food in a cheep garbage can with a lid. I used to keep the cat food in the same type of container. Win/win for animals and bugs.
    I know you know this info already just reiterating in case it slipped your mind with all of the pawing and barking and chewing and teef showing.

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  2. Eds, you are so sweet to post for you Mom today. Maybe you can talk Roger and Anderson into posting as well. You and your brothers and sister need to behave so Mom can read her book.
    Roger just wanted some soup. Give that baby some warm unsalted broth.

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  3. So, I tell the old man most every day how, if it weren’t for my daily reading of my two essential cultural news blogs, I would be a piece of lost luggage. They keep me as well-informed as any one person ever needs to be, and the yucks keep me in traction.
    They are (forgive the namedrop):
    sippicancottage.blogspot.com and byebyepie.typepad.com.
    Huffpo, eat yer heart out.

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  4. Lucy and Cosmo thing Ed would be a fun friend… I’m sure he would appreciate all their licking…. wet head is good head, we like to say!

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  5. Lucy and Cosmo thing Ed would be a fun friend… I’m sure he would appreciate all their licking…. wet head is good head, we like to say!

    Like

  6. Lucy and Cosmo thing Ed would be a fun friend… I’m sure he would appreciate all their licking…. wet head is good head, we like to say!

    Like

  7. Ima go to bed here in a moment, but re-reading comments from today, my favorite is from Zadge:
    *Sounds like Roger was half in the bag.*
    HEE. How did I miss that?

    Like

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