You know those annoying days when I have 20 things to tell you?
First of all, I have some news about our little Roger. Remember a few months back, when I got a little innocent kitten?
So, yeah. Baby Roger.
The other night I was on the phone and I heard "MrrrrowowOWOWWW!" outside. "I think there's a cat fight! I gotta go!" Poor baby Roger!
Anderson is not one for going outside a lot. He kind of likes to stay in with his mother. Watch musicals. Think about my window treatments.
So I grab a flashlight and head to the noise, which is decidedly less angry-sounding and more "WOW! Wow wow WOOOOW! sounding.
And I shine a light? On…
Roger was totally gettin' him some…you know. Tail. The moon had hit his eye like a big pizza pie, apparently.
And you GUYS. I KNOW! I TOTALLY VEHEMENTLY think you should spay and neuter! I've just been, you know, thinking he didn't need it yet and yeah. I guess I was wrong.
Roger. Heading in to the vet for his fixing. Anderson. Needlessly going as well.
June. Secretly hoping she gets handed a basket of gray huge kittens from an angry neighbor.
In other news, remember my coworker, Debb Killjoy, who sent us all the email on the terrible things a margarita does to your body that night when everyone was going out for margaritas? I swear she is likable other than the whole having-to-be-healthy thing.
Recently I saw on the vending machine that she had lost 50 cents. She'd left a note for the guy who fills the machine with my Mallow Cups and Pop Tarts. Yes, MY. "I GOT her!" I enthused. "Debb! I see you lost money at the VENDING MACHINE!"
"Oh, yeah. I was getting gum."
So, there's a bakery nearby that we've all been talking about, and this past weekend after her NINE-MILE RUN, Debb stopped in. And got–
are you ready? Are you?
–coffee. COFFEE. And she'd run NINE MILES. I mean, she had an EXCUSE!
Coffee. Am force-feeding an extra-value meal down her healthy gullet if it's the last thing I do before my arteries give up on my Mallow Cupped self.
And see? Now we have to stampede to another topic because I am all over the place today. My cat is sexing up the neighborhood, my coworker can eat no fat, I mean, you'd be scattered, too.
My pal Jane West and I went to Michael's after work and got our stuff for our Snow White and Rose Red costumes. It turns out like three people have heard of the fairy tale Snow White and Rose Red. If one more person says, "I've heard of Snow White…" Oh, really? Have you? HAVE you, genius? NOT THAT SNOW WHITE. Can't everyone just pretend they know? Anyway, note Roger thinking Anderson looks kinda hot, over there. Note Anderson enjoying the floral arrangement.
I got all white flowers, and Jane West got pretty much the same stuff, only, you know, red. We're gonna glue gun everything to our dresses and be all wood nymphy and we heart ourselves.
I also purchased a paint-by-numbers kit, because I am ridiculous. And by the way, I never think I'm gonna like going to Michael's and I always have the time of my life. And I've never felt this way before. Well I swear, it's the truth. And I owe it all to Michael's.
You may not be able to see that the package claims it's for ages 8 to 88. I'll bet people who buy it when they're 89 feel mighty stupid when they get home.
I like how I bought a dog to paint. Because that's not at all redundant. And a GOLDEN dog, too. And it's bringing in the paper, just like my dogs do in real life. Ever. Oh, and it's not PAINT by numbers, it's PAINTING by numbers. It's active. Okay.
Anyway. Am looking forward to my artistic journey. This beats my puppet shellacking all to hell.
Finally, I leave you with a ludicrous site that my next-cubicle neighbor sent me to yesterday and which forced me to heave up my Pop Tart yesterday, I was giggling so hard. I do not know where she finds these things but this is the funniest thing possible. Go look. You will die. Incentive!