Happy little banana pudding

Gut morgan, .16 Saturday readers! Please do not go out and gut anyone named Morgan.

You know what I should do? I should save up a bunch of fascinating stuff for Saturday, to REWARD the .16 Saturday readers. Sadly I just thought of this idea and have nothing fascinating, as opposed to, you know, ever.

I slept in. I went to a party last night, and also had an accidental date, thereby violating my man break without meaning to. My friend Caren had a Halloween party, and I guess I already told you that part, because I mentioned the costume-optional part. I talked my next-door neighbor Peg into going as Bob Ross, that ludicrous artist from PBS with the happy little clouds.

PegrossSee what a great job she did? I did not bring my camera to the party, as I was off on my {surprise!} date and it threw me off. But Peg is an artist in real life so I thought this was a hilarious idea and I continue my great love affair with me.

Anyway, it was a potluck, and you know I enjoy those because it means I get to eat real food. I made the left turn into Harris Teeter and brought pretentious cheese and crackers. June. Always a welcome guest at a potluck. And if there is anything Marvin left me with, it was that "I made a left turn" line. It was more effective when we lived in LA and making a left turn could take 25 minutes.

Oh, there was turkey tetrazini, and mac and cheese (it's the South), and red velvet cake (ditto) and banana pudding (ditto ditto) and those meatballs in the sauce and some kind of teensy biscuit with spicy stuff inside and why am I having to wander over to the Women's section every once in awhile?

And why can't we call a spade a spade? Why can't we call it the "You had banana pudding and you chubby, hon" section? Who we kidding with "Women's"? The "You Bustin' Out" section. The "We're Ready For Your Jelly" section.

Sadly, that made me hungry.

Oh, so yeah. Before that, I went on my date. So, as you know, maybe, I work in what is essentially the basement of my building, although they euphemistically refer to it as they garden level, which slays me. But my whole department is down there, so I never go up, or I rarely do, although as of yesterday I have been made the editor in chief of the company newsletter–smell me–so I guess I'll be wandering around more.

My point is I am down below like a mole or a dragon or a groundhog, and I don't know why I just said dragon. I guess I was thinking of the dragon they had under the stairs on The Addams Family, Spot. And see? All those years my parents said, "It's a lovely day outside (it was Michigan, so they could only use that line 8 days a year). Get outside and enjoy the fresh air. Why do you need to watch so much TV?"

Now here I am, entertaining .16 readers with my Spot references, and yesterday's James at 16 hint with my title. Who's sorry now, parents? If I'd have gone outside more I'd never know who Lance Kerwin is today. Take THAT!

Okay. So this guy from work emails me because a woman we both know at work had told him I am a cat lover, and he is one of those people who cats just WANDER up on his porch (I always wanted to be one of those people), so all week we have been emailing back and forth about our cats and their personalities and Roger's amore and where to get cheap neutering and anyway he asked me to meet him for dinner.

And you guys. A) I do things with people from work all the time. 8) I am used to the directness of Match.com. "We are on a dating site. This is clearly a communication to see if we like each other." I dunno. B) I am out of practice and am on a break. A) I am stupid.

So I was all, yeah, I'll pop down there after work! I have a party tonight in which there is food but let's get a drink!

And that is how I ended up on a date yesterday afternoon. It turns out I had met this guy, briefly, when a bunch of people came down to my desk one day to take my photo for something. (Mug shot.) (America's Most Wanted.) (Cat pervs anonymous.) (I guess if it's anonymous they wouldn't take my picture. Work with me, here. I'm in a hurry because I slept late and I gotta bang this post out and go do errands before Jane West gets here to get ready for tonight's party.)

Anyway, when he figured out I didn't remember meeting him, he said, "So wait. You just came down here and met a total stranger? That's …weird."

I didn't want to tell him that between this blog and my online shenanigans that 75% of my social life involves meeting complete strangers. I guess when you think about it it IS weird. I do it so much now that it seems normal. Someday I am going to be minced into teensy bits.

Anyway, the best part is when I came home to let the dogs out (who? who who!) and such before the party, and I called my mother to say, "I broke my man break just now."

"Did you pull it too hard?"

"What?" I said. "….NO! My MAN break. MAN break. Not HAND break."

Good gravy. I think the TV was on in the background. SEE!? It was a lovely night, MOM. Get outside in the fresh air.

Oh, and in case you did not read this, book club is NOT tonight, as scheduled, because of the party I am attending. It will now be Tuesday, Nov. 1 at 8 p.m. Eastern time. I mean, if the men of the world can resist me long enough to let me have book club.

I have to go so I'll figure out comment of the week tomorrow. Somebody say something hilarious today so I don't have to re-read a week's worth of comments. Thanks.

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Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

96 thoughts on “Happy little banana pudding”

  1. I love Bob Ross. He is very soothing I think.
    You are just a dating machine, I am so jealous. Enjoy all your shennanigans you have planned this weekend.
    I slept late myself today and must run to do my errands, but do not have any exciting party to look forward too.

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  2. I thought that said “I left Marvin in me…”

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  3. I thought that said “I left Marvin in me…”

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  4. I thought that said “I left Marvin in me…”

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  5. 1. I like Bob Ross.
    C. “(it was Michigan, so they could only use that line 8 days a year).” Snorting. Mr. Sadie lived in Michigan and says if you stayed inside during the one day of spring, you missed it. Wonder if he was watching TV, too.
    XXIII. June, the man magnet.

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  6. 1. I like Bob Ross.
    C. “(it was Michigan, so they could only use that line 8 days a year).” Snorting. Mr. Sadie lived in Michigan and says if you stayed inside during the one day of spring, you missed it. Wonder if he was watching TV, too.
    XXIII. June, the man magnet.

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  7. 1. I like Bob Ross.
    C. “(it was Michigan, so they could only use that line 8 days a year).” Snorting. Mr. Sadie lived in Michigan and says if you stayed inside during the one day of spring, you missed it. Wonder if he was watching TV, too.
    XXIII. June, the man magnet.

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  8. A) Anita, it wasnt called that but it is now. And 2, Peg did put paintbrushes in her fro last night as part of her look. I told her not to go to bed and forget and lobotomize herself.

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  9. Thank gawd you have posted…I thought I hexed it all with yesterday’s tag line.
    I’m proud to be part of the .16.

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  10. Thank gawd you have posted…I thought I hexed it all with yesterday’s tag line.
    I’m proud to be part of the .16.

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  11. Thank gawd you have posted…I thought I hexed it all with yesterday’s tag line.
    I’m proud to be part of the .16.

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  12. I am one of the 16 Saturday readers that was patiently waiting for your LATE post:)
    Have fun at the partay!

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  13. June, I finally watched Friends With Benefits (I can’t help being on the wrong side of the Atlantic) and thought I’d let you know so you could take pride in your international advertising.

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  14. The Accidental Dateist.
    Smell me!
    Was it REAL banana pudding? Not that crap kind with the instant pudding? Love.
    What is up with the left turn thing? If a left turn is between me and my destination I make a left turn. Husband will drive way out of his way to avoid a left turn. I don’t get it. Now I will probably die making a left turn.
    A faithful 7-day-a-week reader.

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  15. Yay! I wonder how much money David makes when one person buys a ticket? I mean, does he owe me, like, .08 cents or does he owe me a dollar? I need to know this when I hit him up for cash.

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  16. Okay, see, I really have to go, not sit here and reply to every comment. In fact, this very cute woman brought the pudding. She and I walked in together, and we had bonded because we were walking down the street joking, Gee, I wonder what house it is? Could it be this one covered in skeletons and witches with purple flashing lights? Lets knock on the door of the house that is dark and quiet instead. Anyway, there was a teenager there and cute woman said to him, Did you try the banana pudding and he said, I HATE banana pudding. Killed me. Teenagers. Polite, ever. The point is she makes it from scratch and it is her grandmothers recipe and people ask if she will sell it to them, it is so good.

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  17. We were just talking about Bob Ross at MOPS the other morning. I always hated it when he would talk about adding just, “one more happy little tree” and you’re screaming “it’s fine, leave it alone!” And then he adds the tree and it’s great.
    I always thought the W in the women’s meant Wide. You know, my mom was size 16 Wide. She set me straight. However, my kidlings and I still refer to it as size Wide.

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  18. June, I am a day behind and many dollars short. Refresh my memory please. Didn’t James 15/16 sleep with Mary Ingalls? Or was it only Bobby Brady? Oh those Teenage TV Triangles…

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  19. We are the .16! We are the .16! And we will OCCUPY BYE BYE PIE! If you are not careful, your fellow Michigander, Michael Moore will be all over you and your left turn.

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  20. proud to be part of the 16%. (you know, because .16 = 16%.) we could start a weekend movement:: occupy the pie!!
    also, i *love* how all this match dating has made you oblivious to a dude asking you out. hysterical.

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  21. My husband tells me that one thing he learned in college is that Bob Ross is the best show to watch when you have a hangover, because he’s so calm and soothing.
    I’m not a fan of left turns when there’s lots of traffic – always afraid I’ll die.

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  22. Maybe everyone still READS, but is too busy with errands to comment on Saturdays. 🙂 Regardless, I am one of the .16 Saturday readers. Where’s my treat?

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  23. I am one of the .16. What can I say.
    Anyway. Bob Ross = awesome Halloween costume. My brother in law went to a party as Billy Mays one year, and even had an Oxyclean travel mug. It was amazing.

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  24. Anita, my dad would say “Turn off that idiot box and go outside and blow the stink off.” The man had a way with words.
    Congratulations June on becoming the editor in chief of the company newsletter. You can put all that experience from th high school yearbook to good use.
    Did you at least take a picture of your costume or did you opt out?

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  25. Nithya, I am jealous of your ability to watch Friends With Benefits. When I went the theater had no electricity so I was sad and went home.
    Am I the only one whose parents made to put down a book and go outside?

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  26. Bob Ross.
    I am a proud weekend reader. I am late today because I had to go out early to do my errands because we are getting! an! historic! snow! storm! Of course, everyone is panicked and by the time I got to the grocery store, it was a ZOO with NO CARTS. I officially hate everyone. Not you people, of course.

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  27. My grocery store had no electriciyt, on a backup generator, a few lights and everything was shrouded in plastic… I really wanted to get inside the meat section and jump out a scare someone… oh its fun to go shopping….

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  28. My grocery store had no electriciyt, on a backup generator, a few lights and everything was shrouded in plastic… I really wanted to get inside the meat section and jump out a scare someone… oh its fun to go shopping….

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  29. My grocery store had no electriciyt, on a backup generator, a few lights and everything was shrouded in plastic… I really wanted to get inside the meat section and jump out a scare someone… oh its fun to go shopping….

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  30. Nothing better than good homemade banana pudding. And I agree on the horrific nasty grainy instant pudding faux crap. Blech!
    I am an everyday reader of the Pie. Every day I am an everyday reader.
    Love,
    Lisa Pie (of the Texas Pies)
    p.s. Did y’all see the commissioner announced last night that the November NBA games are cancelled? Jackwagons.

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  31. Amy in MD, I had to put my book down and go outside and play as well.

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  32. Mmmm banana pudding. Speaking of Halloween costumes, my son is going as Steve Jobs this year. Black turtleneck, jeans, glasses and i-stuff slung around him. Luckily he’s just going to a party at his sister’s so he doesn’t come home with out his apple stuff. That would be bad.
    Have fun partying June.

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  33. Terric, that made me laugh. On Saturdays, sometimes I would stay in my pajamas all day and read. But, most Saturday afternoons, we were sent outside to play after watching the cartoons all morning. On Sunday afternoons, we had to play quietly and not whoop and holler because, “No one wants to hear all that noise on Sunday.”

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  34. Terric, that made me laugh. On Saturdays, sometimes I would stay in my pajamas all day and read. But, most Saturday afternoons, we were sent outside to play after watching the cartoons all morning. On Sunday afternoons, we had to play quietly and not whoop and holler because, “No one wants to hear all that noise on Sunday.”

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  35. Terric, that made me laugh. On Saturdays, sometimes I would stay in my pajamas all day and read. But, most Saturday afternoons, we were sent outside to play after watching the cartoons all morning. On Sunday afternoons, we had to play quietly and not whoop and holler because, “No one wants to hear all that noise on Sunday.”

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  36. Me, too, Amy and terric. My mother used to scold me, Scold Me, for “always having your nose in a book”!
    She would make me go outside even in Michigan winters and I would just stand by the back door until she would let me in. What boogers. The both of us.

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  37. Referring to the banana pudding…..
    One of the girls in my class tells it like it is. AND, she gave me a ride to pick up my car after school one day last week. One of her…chunky…friends rode with us, and as the chunky one got in the car, the one giving me a ride said, “Yew betta do sumthin’ ’bout those hips. Yew shakin’ the whole caah when yew git in.” (think extreme southern accent).
    I just about died in the back seat. I would have been murdered where I sat if I had made that comment!

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  38. I’ve never seen one single Bob Ross program all the way through, because I always fell asleep while he talked about his happy little trees in his soft mellow voice. RIP Bob Ross.
    Warm banana pudding. To die for. Enjoy your party tonight. Remember to take your camera.
    Anita, you can use some of those recipes from yesterday with the dead fish and all.

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  39. I am an every day reader too, although I think I’ve commented once or twice before this. Yours is one of the blogs I make sure to click through on Google Reader so you get the page views.
    Homemade banana pudding is the best kind, if it’s not homemade it’s just a waste of calories. I wanted banana cream pie for my birthday but didn’t want to make it myself so DH bought some from Perkins. It sucked. I would rather have had nothing than this pie, but I ate it to make DH happy.

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  40. Hail, Newsletter Editor in Chief! I can hardly wait for the next/first issue of “Smell Me” (or possibly “Bye Bye, Former Fringe Benefits”)! Way to beat that little deadline-meeting problem.
    Why isn’t there a Match.com-type site for those of us who just want to meet a nice person who makes banana pudding from scratch? Like the one I enjoyed so much at my mother-in-law’s funeral it was embarrassing? (No, it was life-affirming. Yeah, that’s it.)
    My sisters and I fondly remember mocking the main-street store for “You Bustin’ Out” sizes: its name was Ample Lady.

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  41. Bob Ross is dead.
    I have my mother’s/grandmother’s homemade banana pudding recipe. I only make it on special occasions, but it is sooooo good, especially warm just out of the oven.
    Florida is beating Georgia. YEAH! I’m for who/whom ever is playing Georgia.
    Now, I need to get my lazy self up and make a pound cake for a reception tomorrow at Stately Oaks.

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  42. I have the Sundance ad on the right side of my page. The blouse at the top – on sale at Sundance for $109.99? It was just on sale at Anthropologie for $39.95. Same. Blouse. Ok, now that I’ve made it clear that Sundance is over priced, how was the accidental date? I keep checking back hoping you will share.
    Warm banana pudding – the best thing EVER

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  43. Okay, take it from someone who routinely confuses her underpants with the fitted sheet….one day with real food will not land you in the women’s section.
    Relax!!
    (and I read you every weekend….)

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  44. Bob Ross AND homemade banana pudding?? Wow! The thought of those two just makes me want to curl up and take a contented nap. 🙂 Yummy pudding and happy…little…treeeeeeezzzzZZZZZZZZZzzzzz

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  45. Oh, you SLEPT LATE … I thought you had decided to stop posting on the weekends. Okay, I’m happy again. And Susan’s comment made me smile twice, first, because I also remember thinking that Bob R was simply going to ruin the painting, but nope. His happy little addition was always good. And, second, the “W means wide” reminded me of the day I was folding laundry and noticed the lable in one of my shirts read “Grande.” Apparently XL translates to Grande in some language … way to make me feel like a bit fat burrito.
    Okay, it’s after 7 here in MI and I’m sure no one’s here anymore, but there you go.

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  46. And by “lable” I meant “tag” (which I can spell correctly)

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  47. Amish Annie still holding out on the June.and.Dick thing, okay I'll shut up but if they ultimately end up together, you all will be thinking I'm freaking psychic says:

    Card carrying member of the .16’s. That sounded kind of scary NRA gun-ish, so i’ll just say proud BBP Occupier instead.
    Can’t believe all that snow you east coasters are getting…weird!!
    And June, yes we’re a tad curious about your date as you gave no information about your date.
    Furry, gotta love a lady named Garnet; that’s a great name.

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  48. Anita, how do they get the saddles to stay on the fish?

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  49. It was and she was a fabulous lady. And I use the term loosely. (Or she did) Had eight husbands. Most named, Jim. Was a cook on a river boat. Looked like my grandad in drag, but she could make food that could make you swoon. Had thirteen bros and hos, most of the girls were named after precious gems.
    Except for Althea. She was a terror. Her husband Morris was the meanest man on the planet, according to my dad, when he was three. And me, when I was three.

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  50. Grandad in drag…giggling…I use the term loosely…more giggling…bros and hos, Althea…too funny!

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  51. Bob Ross is so popular with our high school band that they have a Bob Ross song they sing a couple of times every football game. Nobody knows what they’re saying because if you say BobRoss a whole bunch of times really fast and loud, it doesn’t sound like anything that makes sense. Plus, who would ever imagine that a group of kids would be chanting about Bob Ross?
    I read you mostly every Saturday, June. I just don’t get a chance to read you every day, but I miss it, so I make sure I catch up every weekend. I think you’re amazing!

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  52. My mother has tried to pawn off that Paula Deen recipe of banana pudding before and it is NOT anywhere close to the good old original.
    But if you want to try an updated version, I believe it was in last year’s Southern Living magazine, maybe the year before. Whatever, I read it in Southern Living. What they did was to make it like you always do only they swapped out the vanilla wafers for Nutter Butter Cookies.
    Now, THAT right there is a fabulous alternative to traditional banana pudding!

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  53. Linda in CO, our fathers seem quite similar. Mine also used the words imbecilic and nincompoop a lot. Then there were the Italian hand gestures he’d through in for good measure.
    Duffy, the saddles can be a might slippery but I guess they managed to get one on a shark. That’s about all I saw.
    Oh and I had some banana pudding at the Chinese buffet. Never again. Has anyone noticed that Chinese buffets have the oddest desserts?

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  54. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip.
    Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey.
    Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
    Peer pressure.

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  55. You guys have to stop talking about dessert. Or I guess I could stop refreshing my page. What a concept!
    I took three Rubbermaid tubs of larger sized clothes to a women’s consignment shop. She sells exclusively plus sizes. The name of her store is Curvy Consignments.
    If I was ever shopping with someone and we were splitting up, I’d always tell them, “I’ll be in the fat ladies department”. They always knew where to find me.

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  56. .16 Represent!
    I’ve been rear ended twice while waiting to make a left hand turn. In my car that is. I won’t talk about the times I’ve been rear ended when I wasn’t in a car. BAH! Luckily I wasn’t rear ended while on an accidental date, because that’s never happened to me ever. The accidental dating. Not the rear ending. Which I said I wouldn’t talk about.
    Bob Ross and banana pudding – only you could bring those two things together so well June.

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  57. Dammit Janet- missed another Saturday cruise on June’s Party Boat-
    Too late to comment on all the action-
    So now I’m watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show-
    Shivering in an………………………………………………………..ticipation-
    waiting for her Sunday post-

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