So, Jane West and I spent 97 hours getting our Snow White and Rose Red costumes ready for our party yesterday.
And just to review, NOT THAT SNOW WHITE.
Different story. I'll bet Snow White of Snow White and Rose Red got PISSED in real life. "Are you that Snow White who lives with dwarfs?"
They lived in the woods. They befriended a bear. Bear turned out to be a prince. You know how that happens. Snow White got to marry him and Rose Red got stuck with the prince's brother, Harry, who seemed more fun anyway. The end.
I am more obsessed with Silence of the Lambs than I think I am. Also? Perhaps I should admit to myself that it's probably time to put away the mosquito repellent. There in the background you can see where I bought the Earth-friendly natural stuff and then hauled my welt-covered self back to the store and purchased chemicals. Do not write me to tell me to buy that Avon stuff. I have no Avon lady.
Anyway, not only did Jane West bring a dress dummy, she brought a glue gun, a sewing box, wire cutters, that guy Tim Gunn from Project Runway who says, "Make it work" — the bitch brought everything. She assumed I'd have none of this stuff. I.AM.SURE.
You can imagine how a bag full of leaves, silver and gold dangly things, and plastic bags did not interest the kittens in the slightest. I was in here adjusting the music or something and I heard Jane West say, "Drop it!"
"You can't say 'drop it' to a cat."
"Yeah, I guess I know that."
Uncat people are funny.
After about 90 hours of Jane West burning herself with the glue gun repeatedly (it was like I was hanging with James Brown. "OW!" …."OW!") and me idly clipping a flower every once in awhile, we were ready to go.
You'll be amazed to hear that thing went in there with no effort. It was like my head is meant to be a…bird's…nest. Oh, hell.
Here is Rose Red at the party; for some reason she is shy about having her face on my blog. As I am. People at the party took pictures of the two of us together, and I do not know why they haven't stampeded to email them to me this morning. What about MY needs? Note the Hello Kitty Band-Aid I had to give her for one of her glue gun injuries. Nothing says, "I am a wood nymph in the 16th century" like a Hello Kitty Band-Aid.
Also, when we were getting into the car, we were all, "The BIRD on my head is knocking into the car roof" and I pointed out that the real Snow White and Rose Red must have run into these difficulties all the time.
But I did meet someone special last night. Someone I could not get enough of.
"Well, it's really my nightgown, and I spent a long time gluing these flowers to it," I said, throwing the blistered Jane West under a bus.
"It's really pretty," she said, touching a rose.
"Thank you," I said, "I like your costume, too." I mean, she had sparkles, she had layers, there was a princess involved on her necklace. What wasn't to like?
"Do you like my necklace?" she said, whipping out her medallion, there. She told me who the princess was, but of course I've already forgotten. What I remember is the princess had SPARKLE HAIR, and my new favorite person at the party and I both agreed we want sparkle hair in real life.
I got up at one point, and she said, "Where are you going?"
"Well, I was just getting off the floor to sit with you on the couch, if that's okay."
Girl, we gabbed about just everything. And if it's disturbing I had much in common with a–well, how old is this child? You know how I have no idea about these things. What is she, four? Twelve? Anyway, the fact that we like all the same things probably means that she is incredibly mature. Also, am getting pink glasses tout suite.
Oh, and when she left? Pink leopard coat. Enough said.
The food was fabulous, by the way, and the decorations left no stone unturned. This here is a brain made with raspberry Jello. It was a raspberry br-ain! The kind you find at a Halloween bash! Raspberry br-ain!
It was cold out last night, so I wore tights and a 1960s slip that I got at my friend Kit's store. I totally want to go around in 1960s full slips now. They're so sexy and you feel all Elizabeth Taylor in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. Without the part where Paul Newman is mad at you and glowering at you with piercing eyes.
I have to wear this whole ensemble again to work tomorrow, so I'm glad I didn't stain it with raspberry brain or anything. If anyone else in the world EVER gets up and EVER sends me a photo of Snow White and Rose Red together, I will post it tomorrow. But be sure to complain about it today. Because I love busting out a whole post and then hearing about what I DIDN'T do. LOVE that! Not gonna send the guy with the ax over or anything.