So, Jane West and I spent 97 hours getting our Snow White and Rose Red costumes ready for our party yesterday.

And just to review, NOT THAT SNOW WHITE.

Different story. I'll bet Snow White of Snow White and Rose Red got PISSED in real life. "Are you that Snow White who lives with dwarfs?"

SnowandroseThey lived in the woods. They befriended a bear. Bear turned out to be a prince. You know how that happens. Snow White got to marry him and Rose Red got stuck with the prince's brother, Harry, who seemed more fun anyway. The end.

100_0654
Here's poor Rose Red, who brought over a dress dummy, and I am not calling you "Dummy" right now like I am Fred Sanford. She lugged that thing in and I was all "IT PUTS THE LOTION IN THE BASKET!"

I am more obsessed with Silence of the Lambs than I think I am. Also? Perhaps I should admit to myself that it's probably time to put away the mosquito repellent. There in the background you can see where I bought the Earth-friendly natural stuff and then hauled my welt-covered self back to the store and purchased chemicals. Do not write me to tell me to buy that Avon stuff. I have no Avon lady.

Anyway, not only did Jane West bring a dress dummy, she brought a glue gun, a sewing box, wire cutters, that guy Tim Gunn from Project Runway who says, "Make it work" — the bitch brought everything. She assumed I'd have none of this stuff. I.AM.SURE.

100_0653
You can imagine how a bag full of leaves, silver and gold dangly things, and plastic bags did not interest the kittens in the slightest. I was in here adjusting the music or something and I heard Jane West say, "Drop it!"

"You can't say 'drop it' to a cat."

"Yeah, I guess I know that."

Uncat people are funny.

Litterplayisfun
It was kind of me to insist we work in the same room as the litter box. That's me. Always thinking of my guest.

100_0655
After about 90 hours of Jane West burning herself with the glue gun repeatedly (it was like I was hanging with James Brown. "OW!" …."OW!") and me idly clipping a flower every once in awhile, we were ready to go.

100_0656

100_0658I had a bird in my hair.

100_0661

You'll be amazed to hear that thing went in there with no effort. It was like my head is meant to be a…bird's…nest. Oh, hell.

100_0663
I am one shopping cart away from being insane, aren't I?

Rred
Here is Rose Red at the party; for some reason she is shy about having her face on my blog. As I am. People at the party took pictures of the two of us together, and I do not know why they haven't stampeded to email them to me this morning. What about MY needs? Note the Hello Kitty Band-Aid I had to give her for one of her glue gun injuries. Nothing says, "I am a wood nymph in the 16th century" like a Hello Kitty Band-Aid.

Also, when we were getting into the car, we were all, "The BIRD on my head is knocking into the car roof" and I pointed out that the real Snow White and Rose Red must have run into these difficulties all the time.

Spneedsakotex
In the meantime, there were other tasteful costumes there.

100_0670
Am certain Mr. Walt Disney would not approve.

100_0673
ACK.

100_0677
Oh, good. Do you have a website in case I need you later? BAH!

But I did meet someone special last night. Someone I could not get enough of.

100_0671
"Where did you get that dress?" she asked me, as though she were headed out to Ross Dress for Less, to Single White Female me as soon as humanly possible.

"Well, it's really my nightgown, and I spent a long time gluing these flowers to it," I said, throwing the blistered Jane West under a bus.

"It's really pretty," she said, touching a rose.

"Thank you," I said, "I like your costume, too." I mean, she had sparkles, she had layers, there was a princess involved on her necklace. What wasn't to like?

"Do you like my necklace?" she said, whipping out her medallion, there. She told me who the princess was, but of course I've already forgotten. What I remember is the princess had SPARKLE HAIR, and my new favorite person at the party and I both agreed we want sparkle hair in real life.

I got up at one point, and she said, "Where are you going?"

"Well, I was just getting off the floor to sit with you on the couch, if that's okay."

Girl, we gabbed about just everything. And if it's disturbing I had much in common with a–well, how old is this child? You know how I have no idea about these things. What is she, four? Twelve? Anyway, the fact that we like all the same things probably means that she is incredibly mature. Also, am getting pink glasses tout suite.

Oh, and when she left? Pink leopard coat. Enough said.

100_0679
The food was fabulous, by the way, and the decorations left no stone unturned. This here is a brain made with raspberry Jello. It was a raspberry br-ain! The kind you find at a Halloween bash! Raspberry br-ain!

100_0689
It was cold out last night, so I wore tights and a 1960s slip that I got at my friend Kit's store. I totally want to go around in 1960s full slips now. They're so sexy and you feel all Elizabeth Taylor in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. Without the part where Paul Newman is mad at you and glowering at you with piercing eyes.

I have to wear this whole ensemble again to work tomorrow, so I'm glad I didn't stain it with raspberry brain or anything. If anyone else in the world EVER gets up and EVER sends me a photo of Snow White and Rose Red together, I will post it tomorrow. But be sure to complain about it today. Because I love busting out a whole post and then hearing about what I DIDN'T do. LOVE that! Not gonna send the guy with the ax over or anything.

100_0692Rodgur not to care it hallowiin. bring in girl catz to rogur bachelor basket, pleez.

71 thoughts on “Snow White and Rose Red eat cupcakes in the suburbs

  1. Siren says:

    I think you should shellack that little girl and add her to your puppet collection.

    Like

  2. Rodjur gowing as Hell in a Handbaskit.

    Like

  3. Letha, somethin bout the clouds and her MIXED! says:

    Finishing up the book club book tonight…so…
    Codswallop!
    and Happy Halloween!

    Like

  4. Kristi says:

    Roger looks like he’s in a hand basket alright!

    Like

  5. PJ was truly disturbed by the picture of Ezra Pound's mamma dressed as June Meat Cleaver. says:

    Lovely screen door, June.

    Like

  6. Nelson's Mama says:

    Yes, Tee…bless their hearts.
    We “air” our cats when they are naughty. You know the compressed air that you clean out your computer key-board with? They hate it…all we have to do is get the can out when they get on the counters or bother breakables now. It’s super cold, so don’t get too close with it and don’t spray it in their face. It works much better than a spray bottle of water.

    Like

  7. Sadie - We had meatloaf for dinner tonight. All the talk of meatloaf the other day made me hungry. Thanks for solving my dinner dilemma. says:

    Ax Guy, here your missing E as well.

    Like

  8. Sadie - We had meatloaf for dinner tonight. All the talk of meatloaf the other day made me hungry. Thanks for solving my dinner dilemma. says:

    Ax Guy, here your missing E as well.

    Like

  9. Sadie - We had meatloaf for dinner tonight. All the talk of meatloaf the other day made me hungry. Thanks for solving my dinner dilemma. says:

    Ax Guy, here your missing E as well.

    Like

  10. Ax Guy says:

    Thanks.

    Like

  11. You look beautiful. That little girl was a little princess.
    Uncat people = bless their hearts.

    Like

  12. Duffylou - although i used to make kick ass costumes for my kids says:

    See all the money I save by not being a cool kid? I don’t have to worry about designing and making an expensive costume to wear to a party.

    Like

  13. Sadie - I'm just not that cleaver or clever. says:

    June Meat Cleaver! At our Halloween party, we had a Cereal Killer. She wore an apron covered with cereal boxes that had been stabbed and carried a knife dripping with cereal.

    Like

  14. Sadie - I'm just not that cleaver or clever. says:

    June Meat Cleaver! At our Halloween party, we had a Cereal Killer. She wore an apron covered with cereal boxes that had been stabbed and carried a knife dripping with cereal.

    Like

  15. Sadie - I'm just not that cleaver or clever. says:

    June Meat Cleaver! At our Halloween party, we had a Cereal Killer. She wore an apron covered with cereal boxes that had been stabbed and carried a knife dripping with cereal.

    Like

  16. Letha, somethin bout the clouds and her MIXED! says:

    June Meat Cleaver!

    Like

  17. Ezra Pound's Momma says:

    I feel like this might be the appropriate place to reveal that I was June Meat Cleaver last night.

    Like

  18. Jane says:

    You looked lovely. Maybe the costume won’t need an explanation at your literary workplace?
    Can’t wait to see what we get tomorrow, after last year, I won’t be surprised if we have flamethrowers and a rocket launch.

    Like

  19. Texas Kari who has a super stiff back from sleeping on the ground last night. says:

    Wooo! Fun party with great costumes.
    I just returned from a backpacking trip and am getting caught up. I have no costume. I do however get to start mowing through the Halloween candy. Yay!

    Like

  20. sandra says:

    You look beautiful, love the shiny lipgloss! I grew up with the real Grimms Fairytales so I know the difference between “Schneewittchen” and “Schneeweisschen und Rosenrot”. I have my mother’s book of Grimms Fairytales and some other books with classic childrens stories from Germany. I grew up with them and did not understand the violent parts, I think kids don’t think about stuff like that, it is too abstract for them. What is more damaging for kids is having to actually see violence, like when parents let kids watch violent movies on tv.
    Better get off my soapbox I guess.

    Like

  21. I just read an article online about a woman in NC who was hoarding cats. But her name wasn’t June. Whew!
    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/45094875/ns/us_news-life/#.Tq2li2DUjIc

    Like

  22. Heather P says:

    You do look very pretty as Snow White! Your hair and make-up look fantastic! I see the Latisse is working too.
    Roger is adorable! When is his appointment? Are you going to have a party for his de-balling like you did for Edsel?

    Like

  23. Snapper (I'd persure that website...Team Spiderman!) says:

    You are a beautiful wood nymph June.
    Axe man looks a bit like Harry Hamlin I think.

    Like

  24. Mrs. Gumby says:

    Yes, I know the story of Snow White and Rose Red! You two looked great. Too bad the princes didn’t show up.
    Roger’s looking quite seductive there in his bachelor basket. Better get that boy fixed pronto or you’ll be a grandmother in no time.

    Like

  25. Mary Lou-reader .whateva, reporting for duty says:

    What’s the story on Axe Man?
    He IS hot-

    Like

  26. Becky says:

    PS- I see Sadie beat me to it, but I also had to comment on how gorgeous your look in that pic. Your eyes look HUGE.

    Like

  27. Sadie - Roger in the basket makes me smile. Teacup ride, indeed. says:

    Here’s the missing E.

    Like

  28. Sadie - Roger in the basket makes me smile. Teacup ride, indeed. says:

    Here’s the missing E.

    Like

  29. Sadie - Roger in the basket makes me smile. Teacup ride, indeed. says:

    Here’s the missing E.

    Like

  30. Becky says:

    I LOVE your costume. Gorgeous, just gorgeous.
    And yeah… little girls are awesome. I have one child, a daughter, now 25, and it’s just been the two of us for years. She’s my best friend, no question. Keeps me young.
    Does Roger have a seductive French meow? He looks like he would.

    Like

  31. Sadie - Jane is a true friend to bring all supplies and injure herself for the sake of beauty. At least, she gets Harry. says:

    1. Your makeup is gorgeous!
    17. Your hair is fabulous!
    23. You look beautiful, even if you weren’t Sleeping Beauty.
    31. No wonder mini-June was enthralled. She wants to grow up and be as pretty as you.
    19. The Ax Man Cometh is indeed hot.

    Like

  32. Sadie - Jane is a true friend to bring all supplies and injure herself for the sake of beauty. At least, she gets Harry. says:

    1. Your makeup is gorgeous!
    17. Your hair is fabulous!
    23. You look beautiful, even if you weren’t Sleeping Beauty.
    31. No wonder mini-June was enthralled. She wants to grow up and be as pretty as you.
    19. The Ax Man Cometh is indeed hot.

    Like

  33. Sadie - Jane is a true friend to bring all supplies and injure herself for the sake of beauty. At least, she gets Harry. says:

    1. Your makeup is gorgeous!
    17. Your hair is fabulous!
    23. You look beautiful, even if you weren’t Sleeping Beauty.
    31. No wonder mini-June was enthralled. She wants to grow up and be as pretty as you.
    19. The Ax Man Cometh is indeed hot.

    Like

  34. Your BB&B in Greensboro is nicer than mine in VA. Of course. says:

    The green cupcakes with the ghoul head on top – very creepy. My 9 year old would love it. Same with jello brains. The axe. It was real. Looks real on my computer. Alcohol and a real axe would not be a good combination at some parties in VA. Pink fur leopard coat would rock. Also, your hair looked very nice. Bird was just an added bonus.

    Like

  35. Your BB&B in Greensboro is nicer than mine in VA. Of course. says:

    The green cupcakes with the ghoul head on top – very creepy. My 9 year old would love it. Same with jello brains. The axe. It was real. Looks real on my computer. Alcohol and a real axe would not be a good combination at some parties in VA. Pink fur leopard coat would rock. Also, your hair looked very nice. Bird was just an added bonus.

    Like

  36. Your BB&B in Greensboro is nicer than mine in VA. Of course. says:

    The green cupcakes with the ghoul head on top – very creepy. My 9 year old would love it. Same with jello brains. The axe. It was real. Looks real on my computer. Alcohol and a real axe would not be a good combination at some parties in VA. Pink fur leopard coat would rock. Also, your hair looked very nice. Bird was just an added bonus.

    Like

  37. You should totally adopt a little girl, you would have sooo much fun. First, I would read a few parenting books, maybe watch a movie or The Cosby show to see how Claire did it but then, get you a baby girl.

    Like

  38. You should totally adopt a little girl, you would have sooo much fun. First, I would read a few parenting books, maybe watch a movie or The Cosby show to see how Claire did it but then, get you a baby girl.

    Like

  39. You should totally adopt a little girl, you would have sooo much fun. First, I would read a few parenting books, maybe watch a movie or The Cosby show to see how Claire did it but then, get you a baby girl.

    Like

  40. auntiekim says:

    I know nothing of this particular Snow White but you look lovely. And that guy with the axe is hot.

    Like

  41. Suzanne says:

    I was a woodland fairy years ago. Glad to see another bird brain exists.

    Like

  42. Letha, could be worse though... says:

    Built like she was, she had the nerve to ask him if he planned to do her any harm…
    This, THIS is all I have in my head.

    Like

  43. Wow, that was all so confusing. I’m thought those tights were white and there was one kitty in that basket. Glad it’s not me that is losing it. But your feet do look oddly dark for your usually pale skin.

    Like

  44. Linda in CO, one of the few, the proud .16 says:

    OMG, that IS just Roger. I continue to be amazed at his size.

    Like

  45. Lisa says:

    It’s mistaken comment day!

    Like

  46. Jules says:

    So the lacey things are the tights? I thought you had brownish tights on because your feet look so dark. My bad.
    I hadn’t had a diet coke or coffee yet…

    Like

  47. Letha, says:

    Okay, everybody put your glasses on.

    Like

  48. Dude, that was JUST Roger in the basket.

    Like

  49. Letha, says:

    Jules is color blind. After that comment, I thought for a minute that I was.
    They are really pretty tights, though.

    Like

  50. Linda in CO, one of the few, the proud .16 says:

    Aren’t somebody else’s kids wonderful? What a cutie. And so is the little brother trying to cop a feel in the background. And the other Snow White’s decollete (sp?).
    Sounds like a fun party. Now I’ve got to go find the Snow-White & Rose-Red story that I never read.
    Also love Anderson & Roger in the basket. It doesn’t look like they will fit in it together for much longer.

    Like

  51. Barb from Milwaukee says:

    Rogerrrrr on the teacup ride with the handle down!

    Like

  52. June Gardens says:

    My tights were white…

    Like

  53. Mary Lou-reader .whateva, reporting for duty says:

    Just Paula-
    Foctober-
    I’m dyin’ he-a!

    Like

  54. Jules says:

    Those dark tights were an interesting choice. It is like Aretha Franklin meets Snow White on your bottom half.
    Also, too the bird in your hair comment was FUNNY. You look gorgeous.

    Like

  55. Fay (Slept in today. Glorious.) says:

    Raspberry Br-ain!
    Birds nest hair!
    Tiny June!
    Hee.

    Like

  56. Fay (Slept in today. Glorious.) says:

    Raspberry Br-ain!
    Birds nest hair!
    Tiny June!
    Hee.

    Like

  57. Fay (Slept in today. Glorious.) says:

    Raspberry Br-ain!
    Birds nest hair!
    Tiny June!
    Hee.

    Like

  58. Mary Lou-reader .whateva, reporting for duty says:

    June,
    You look positively VIRGINAL in your Snow White costume!
    Your hair is lovely-also, isn’t a bird in the hair worth two in the tush or something?
    Little princess is too cute-can just see the two of you discussing fashion, sparkle hair and accessories-
    Love the igloo litter box-
    Anderson is, well…Anderson-but I’m starting to wonder about Roger-
    He looks a bit Adam Lambert-y in the photo-
    Is he wearing eyeliner now? Hmmm…
    NOT that there’s anything wrong with that-
    Thanks, Jane for the fabulous costumes- sorry about your burns!
    Also too in ending-Thanks for Raspberry Br-ain…now I’ll have that song etc. etc.

    Like

  59. June Gardens says:

    I really am on a man break and it is a filter to make the cat poop smell not so bad. And Target Steve? Yesterday I was looking for a new filter for it, and the very nice boy there, and I really should not say boy because he was black but he was young so help me out here, searched and searched and you guys were out of my filter. He said, We will probably have your filter in a week, but have you tried Lowes? I dont know if he was supposed to say that, but I liked that he did.

    Like

  60. Barb from Milwaukee says:

    June, What is the white tower like thingy in your cat pan room? Were any of those cute guys single? Or are you back on the not dating scene?

    Like

  61. June Gardens says:

    There were maybe two people who knew who the Sam Holy Hill we were. You know, how is it she and I both totally knew who that was and it just so happens that is the costume we thought of and we are the only people who ever had that book as kids? It is weird. It is like the year my friend Lisa and I went as Anais Nin and June Miller. That went over big. Next year Ill just be sexy devil and call it a day.

    Like

  62. Just Paula. says:

    Wheeeee! So many pictures! And none are fuzzy!
    I think the little girl is about five or six, but my kids are old now, so what do I know.
    That raspberry brain is definitely a Weight Watcher special.
    I have to go shake heavy snow off tree limbs that are threatening to break and move numerous already-broken tree branches now. Oh, who I am I kidding. I’ll be watching my husband do that crap. Because we got a foot of snow. In OCTOBER. Or, as my father used to say, Focktober.

    Like

  63. And we shall call her….Mini June.
    How many times did you have to explain your costume? I guess this means you are Kate Middleton and Jane West is Pippa. Or is Harry still with the trampy looking chick?

    Like

  64. Letha, raspberry br-ain! says:

    Like he was on a ride! Now I am commenting on your comments. Oh, wait.
    I love those lacy white leggings. And the mini-princess sporting the hot decolletage.
    Lovely post, June. After reading, I felt like I’d had a lot of coffee.
    Great costumes, cupcakes.

    Like

  65. Beth says:

    First of all, yeah. Harry always looked waaay more fun than William.
    Second – vintage slips are amazing and I don’t understand why people complain about having to wear slips.

    Like

  66. Mary Ellen from Napa says:

    See, I’m still here OCCUPYING BYE BYE PIE! (In case you didn’t get enough of that line yesterday)
    Lovely costume, full slips are wonderful. I know I have one jammed in a drawer somewhere, but I was four sizes smaller when I bought it, so I’m sure it still fits…

    Like

  67. Cosmo's Dad jello shmello says:

    What about cupcakes? I don’t see anything about cupcakes. You tease us in the title about cupcakes, but no mention again of cupcakes. Just old jiggly jello, sigh…

    Like

  68. June Gardens says:

    Amy, it was the end of the night and I walked in there and found him like that. I was all, did he pull that thing on himself like he was on a ride? What was he up to, over there?

    Like

  69. Lovely post, June.
    Roger down there at the very end catches my eye. My cats always insist on putting their heads through the handles of bags and then scaring themselves silly. Roger is definitely taking it up a notch by sticking his head through the handle of a basket.

    Like

  70. June Gardens says:

    I KNOW, right!? Christmas! Right around the corner! Mom! I mean, in case you think that toile tablecloth and mud-trapping rug seems like not enough.

    Like

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: