Yay. I'm glad 39495940303 of you so far are in on the doing-good-deeds-in-December thing. Remember, you have till midnight tonight to tell me you are in. DO NOT TELL ME YOU ARE IN ON THIS POST, THOUGH! Tell me on YESTERDAY'S post. I have to pair you up with people and do not wish to … Continue reading Inflated lips, more yodeling pickles, a dumb year
I've been waiting to tell you this until it was for sure going well, but Anderson Cooper doesn't live here anymore. I know! Marvin was saying that he was going to get another cat, because Henry was sad and meowing and bored, and he was even considering licking Henry himself, because that's what Winston used … Continue reading A post about my cats. Surprise!
But I forgot to show you this, courtesy of Laurie... The part where I am wearing cherries kind of kills me. Not as much as my head, but still.
Last night, I had Thai food with the Tall Boy. Who is delighted to have her phone back, do you think? Anyway, Tall Boy is a vegetarian, and I wish I could be one because I love me the animals but also they are so darn delicious. My point is, it seems like it must … Continue reading June torments Tall Boy and has a giveaway (No, I am not giving away Tall Boy) (That would be funny, though)
Yesterday I had brunch with Dick Whitman's mom. It was very pleasant to meet her. Oh please. I LOVED HER!!! Wait. More exclamation points are needed! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I knew she'd be the bomb. Every story Dick Whitman ever told me about his mom, I would listen and then say, "I love your mom." I think … Continue reading JG + DWM = TLA
Yesterday I had turkey. You? I joined my friend Laurie, who is a capable adult, and please note the part where I tend to hang around capable adults. However, THAT TURKEY WAS MADE BY ME. And purchased by me. With a little help from a lesbian. And dear lesbian readers, am I offensive when I … Continue reading The post-Thanksgiving report
It's Thanksgiving! I'm up! I do not WISH to be up early on a holiday, and I realize those of you who are grownups have already BEEN up for 109 hours, gutting your turkey or whatever, and believe it or not I have to also too take the innards out my turkey. Can I feed … Continue reading Happy Thanksgiving! Or for you international readers, have a lovely Thursday!
I really like this song, because I'm 12, and also because Justin Timberlake calls me regularly and begs me to love him, and also because I am not at all a delusional freak. My name is Lola. I am a showgirl. My point is, what irks me is the guy in the background of … Continue reading Take it to the Pie!
Good gravy. I spent so much time reading my comments and actual email from people I know in real life that it's now 7:30 and I have to rush. Fortunately I do not have to listen to Rush, and sometimes the end of my marriage feels like a tiny blessing. And by the way, for … Continue reading I see the crystal raindrops fall
Whenever I go to Starbucks, I am annoyed at my own demographic. With the retro jazz music, and the long-sleeve t-shirts under the short-sleeve tshirts--I mean, just wear an appropriate piece of CLOTHING. Don't wear two t-shirts. And with the ironic nerdy glasses and the cake pops. CAKE POPS. What are we, 10 years old? … Continue reading In which June gets a message from a Rennie and resents cake pops
I'm up. Not only am I up, I have been out already, and looking pretty, because I didn't roll out of bed and leave the house in flattering sweatpants or anything. I had to take Roger to the vet to get his hernia stitches out. The vet is open on Sunday during the convenient hour … Continue reading Meowmeowmeowmeowmeow….
Last night, I dragged the Tall Boy to see the Twilight movie. You drag a man to see a Twilight movie, it is clearly the beginning of the relationship. If we had been dating, say, even two months, I'll bet he would have said, "Yeah. Maybe call me after." But I said to him, "I'm … Continue reading Breaking June
So, I like this tall boy. IKNOWSHUTUP. The first person to say, "Nice man break" gets a slap from my shingles. Which hurt, by the way. I guess the hurty part was on its way when I wrote, "Oh, it doesn't hurt that much." It's like God is sitting there annoyed with me all the … Continue reading It is a river, that drowns the tender reed
In case you did not take seven hours out of your day to read my comments yesterday, I have effing shingles. Shingles! When aluminum siding is so much less work. The doctor gave me an antiviral medication, each of which is the size of a thigh-high boot, for heaven's sake, and I know Ima choke … Continue reading Hanging out my shingle
Dear Faithful Reader Target Steve, Seriously? Christmas decorations already at Target? What gives? How obnoxious. And yes. I do blame some guy who reads my blog, who happens to work at Target, for all the decorations in all the Target stores across the land. I hold him personally responsible. I had to go to Target … Continue reading Don’t be rash
Hey, did you hear I went to New Orleans? On the first night, on my way there, I stayed with Faithful Reader Sadie, who coincidentally has a dog named Sadie. You'd think she'd name her dog something different from her own name, but who am I to tell people what to do? Anyway, I had … Continue reading Who dat?
I am leaving later today for New Orleans! Wooo! I picked a fine week to stop sniffing glue. And guess who has not packed one iota yet? I hear you need plenty of iotas for New Orleans. I mean, I kind of packed in my MIND already. Does that help you organized people who are … Continue reading Big easy June. Wait.
Before I begin, I would just like to thank Tallulah for becoming a 6,000-pound LUMP once she gets into bed. A 6,000-pound lump that cannot be budged no matter what you do. Old Ton-ya Harding, over there, was on all the blankets last night and I slept under one-eighth of an inch of sheet in … Continue reading Where everybody knows your name
Six hundred and seventy dollars later, poor Roger and Anderson are back home. SIX HUNDRED AND SEVENTY DOLLARS! Thank all that is holy and credit-giving I have a CareCard. It's like a credit card for the vet. Roger not only had to get fixed, he had a hernia. Plus they had to get their final … Continue reading Junethropologie