Somebody might be snuggly-est kitty ever. She slept with the dogs and me last night. There was gonna be none of that "I'm sleeping alone in the guest room" crap for her. At one point I woke up and she was splayed across Edsel. Nervous and cowardly. That's Iris in a nutshell. Anyway, it's time … Continue reading Oh, is 2011 over? That’s too bad.
Pal from MA is videotaping my matuurity. Also? I guess technically I recorded that one. Whatev. My kitty gets here today. I will leave at lunchtime and get her, and take her home and set her up in the spare bedroom (now that I deflated the bed) (like a grownup) with all her … Continue reading Day two with Pal from MA
My Pal from MA is here. And for the 9943939494 people who emailed me to say, "Did Pal from MA get there?" OH MY GOD, yes, she got here, and let me take five hours out of her visit to email everyone to let them know that. Geez. Modern technology. Freeing us up not at … Continue reading Just the tonic
A text conversation between Hulk and me last night: Hulk: I'm sitting in a bar and they're playing Sleeping Beauty's song. Me: I just wanna use your love toniiiiight! Hulk: I don't blame you....Now I'm re-living the summer of '69. Those were the best days of my life. Me: Where the hell ARE you, the … Continue reading Deep Texts
I wish Edsel could be any more passionately in love with his grandpappy. Last night my stepfather took a book of poetry to the dining room table (me too) to read because he didn't want to watch Real Housewives (why the rerun? You know who'd be a good addition to Real Housewives? Rerun.) and … Continue reading In which the theme song from What’s Happenin’ is whipped out
I am still entertaining guests, so today I give you a video from our childhoods. Or younger-than-nowhoods. You may have to sit through a 10-second ad of a guy eating the top of a Big Mac. If you love me, you'll get your hair cut like that. Also? Possibly the most boring video ever. … Continue reading Dedicated to my pal Sleeping Beauty
Do you think I have some kind of issue that I am taking time out from Christmas to blog? I think I have blogged every Christmas since I started this rather all-absorbing hobby, and for that? I am weird. My mother and stepfather got here yesterday, and here is the part where everyone's gonna say, … Continue reading Merry Christmas, 2011 Choking Hazard–Do Not Eat.
When I started the "let's do good deeds at Christmas" project a few years ago, I was able to list them all. If I did that this year, you'd have to cancel your own Christmas or Cha-neww-ka or pagan ritual with your family and sit here and read my blog for 47 hours. And … Continue reading Of all the June Gardens, I’m the June Gardensiest. Or, your good deeds.
What I enjoy about myself is my steely resolve and firm self-discipline. Have you met that? Really? Where is it? Because I wasn't gonna TELL you about Virgin Merry Bailey Ingalls until she got here, which will not be till the frickin' THIRTIETH, and who lasted, oh, three hours before she spilled the beans on … Continue reading Virgin Merry Bailey Ingalls
Ugh. I don't know whether to take Roger's stocking down, or leave it up and give the treats inside to the dogs, or crawl under the Christmas tree and sob till January 1. In other news, my underwear is missing. Faithful Reader Paula, who reads every day, even on Saturday when there is plenty of … Continue reading The good news? Not one person has sent me the Rainbow Bridge poem.
Most of you already read on Facebook or in the comments yesterday that Roger has died. He was only eight months old. And 640 pounds. Roger could open the screen door to the back yard by himself, and he stomped out Thursday night, angry at me because I put his Christmas collar on him. "Oh, … Continue reading Goodbye, my puma
In case you were thinking I was going to stampede to the topic of gifts I have received from people and am just forgetting to tell you that Roger came home, that is in fact not the case. As there is still no Roger. But thanks for bringing up that painful topic. In fact, last … Continue reading Gift of the Junegi. I realize I make less and less sense as time goes on.
I was trying not to mention this, in the hopes he'd come home. Honestly, I am crushed under the weight of the three thousand things that have gone wrong in my life. I cannot take one more damn thing.
Yesterday I took a brief and convenient drive to Kentucky to take Ladybird the dog to go live with her new family. In case this is the very first day you have ever tuned in to this blog--and God help you, my child--Ladybird is a dog who was hanging out at MY dogs' day care … Continue reading I left my heart in Lexington at a TGIFriday’s. Somehow that’s not as catchy of a tune.
I just realized that my five-year anniversary of blogging came and went and I did not even notice. It just goes to show you that I suck. Also that I am v.v. busy currently. If you want to know the truth, I have been sans chonies for the last week (yes, Dick Whitman, even when … Continue reading No, go ahead. Say “blogaversary.” SAY IT! I dare you.
Ladybird has a home!! No, not with me. Geez, you all really do think I have a screw loose, don't you? Since I've been obsessively posting about her here and on Facebook, my friend since junior high, Melinda, happened to see her. Melinda reads my blog, and her absolutely beautiful dog died on Thanksgiving. Melinda … Continue reading I’ll be back in two and two
June might have stayed up way too late partayyin' in TinyTown last night and cannot blog at you today because it is 7:42 and she is in her robe and has cotton in her head even though all she imbibed was Coke and coffee. Also, in the photo above, her whippoorwill of hair may or … Continue reading Party on, June
I am still sad. A few days back, maybe even a week ago, I said I was gonna take a blog break, because I was sad, and then apparently because I can never shut up, I continued blogging. But sad I still am. I am like Sam, I am. But I am sad, I am. … Continue reading Miracle of Christmas
First of all, Dick Whitman finally emailed me pictures from when he really was over on Sunday. He was pretty taken by my adult, not-at-all-excessively-pink ornaments. What if I meet some sort of really manly man, and I fall deeply in love with him, and he's all plaid wallpaper and mounted fish and dark leather … Continue reading You’ve got the teeth of a hydra upon you. You’re dirty sweet and you’re my girl. (Have you ever paid attention to the lyrics to Bang a Gong? It has nothing whatsoever to do with this post. Still.)