Gift of the Junegi. I realize I make less and less sense as time goes on.

In case you were thinking I was going to stampede to the topic of gifts I have received from people and am just forgetting to tell you that Roger came home, that is in fact not the case. As there is still no Roger. But thanks for bringing up that painful topic.

In fact, last night, Tallulah, Edsel and I were on the couch, catching up on another stunning episode of Real Housewives, and I had my cat trap set up on the porch with my dirty laundry on top of it.

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down.

You're welcome. I hate that song.

Anyway, I thought I heard a meow. I sat up. Then I thought I heard a second, insistent,"MEOW!" I TOSSED the ludicrous Christmas throw off of me–and really how could a Christmas throw be anything but ludicrous–sent my bowl of nutritious Tostitos flying, because when I watch Real Housewives I like to feed my body and soul, and flew to the door.

No cat. I'm telling you, I HEARD it. There was no cat howling at Kyle's white party on the show. It was not coming from my TV. So now I'm hallucinating on top of everything else.

Where is that cat? Why won't he come home? I just want him to come home. I mean, yes. I will beat him mercilessly, but after that I will be so glad to see him.

ANYWAY, today's topic is gifts. And how it is better to receive. Because friends and faithful readers alike have been sending me things for Christmas and then telling me, "You have to open it now. You can't wait till Christmas," which means on Christmas day Ima be sitting under an empty tree with crickets chirping. Because someone got me a cricket farm. Bah!

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Mrs. Oh, who could not love herself more if she tried, made me a Barry Gibb ornament crafted from a starfish. I totally put it right in front on my tree, and when Barry Gibb comes over to propose to me he will be so happy to see it. Did I mention I am hallucinating?

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My friend Melinda? Of the I-adopted-Ladybird Melindas? Made chocolates. And did I mention she's a chemistry professor, as I am? So there's a little image of the formula or whatever for serotonin on the package. Her Christmas card also had a chemical formula on it. Who sleighs me? See what I did, there?

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And she has a little list of each of the delicious flavors she made. I am trying to be good and not eat all of these and keep some for when my guests arrive for Christmas.

Dear Guests, I have already eaten 47 pieces of Melinda's candy. Don't get your hopes up. But it was really good and you should be happy that I was happy. Merry Christmas. Love, June.

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My best friend Pal from MA and I were on the phone last night. "Open two of your gifts," she commanded. "Open the two narrow boxes." "The ones that look like shoe boxes?" "They ARE shoe boxes." Look at those shoes. Are they screaming, "JUNE! JOOOOOOOON!" in giant silver letters? Who knows me? Who knows me too well?

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Okay, you cannot tell, but these have GLITTER all over them! It's like Laura Petrie went all slutty all of a sudden! I am TOTALLY WEARING THEM to work today and I don't even care. Stripper Laura Petrie is STEPPING OUT. So excited about my new shoes.

100_0923edsul simlurlee excited. could mom get fork for edsul?

280 thoughts on “Gift of the Junegi. I realize I make less and less sense as time goes on.

  1. Pal in MA: RAoK update: I bought six pair of gloves and 3 hats for a women’s shelter in Denver.
    I also did not kill my annoying co-worker, and that’s the biggest AoK of all, as she burps, farts, talks with food in her mouth, and horks around ’cause of some kind of sinus problems. Oh. AND she sat by me at our Christmas luncheon so I had an up-close view, and could see the spit flying out with every word.
    Oh. I guess it wasn’t kind to tell you all about that, so I may have cancelled myself out. 😦

    Like

  2. Oh June, NO! I am heartbroken for you. Tears streaming down my face, knowing your grief. My husband and I fell apart in the right lane of our four-lane road when we found our Oscar. I know your hurt. I will pray for you.

    Like

  3. June, my sincerest sympathy for your loss of Roger.
    All I can say is 2012 just has to be a better year for you.

    Like

  4. Cosmo's Dad have cereal out of the cat's bowl in the AM, and then lap up the milk, I will suggest you pass on the cat box... says:

    Cuddle with the pups they will lick your face and make you feel better…
    rip open one of your throw pillows in front of Edsul, that will freak him out,
    go out and find a Ouiser and hit her Mi-liver….
    And I thought the B Gibb was a pinata… you could hit the crap out of a pinata!!!

    Like

  5. Cosmo's Dad have cereal out of the cat's bowl in the AM, and then lap up the milk, I will suggest you pass on the cat box... says:

    Cuddle with the pups they will lick your face and make you feel better…
    rip open one of your throw pillows in front of Edsul, that will freak him out,
    go out and find a Ouiser and hit her Mi-liver….
    And I thought the B Gibb was a pinata… you could hit the crap out of a pinata!!!

    Like

  6. Cosmo's Dad have cereal out of the cat's bowl in the AM, and then lap up the milk, I will suggest you pass on the cat box... says:

    Cuddle with the pups they will lick your face and make you feel better…
    rip open one of your throw pillows in front of Edsul, that will freak him out,
    go out and find a Ouiser and hit her Mi-liver….
    And I thought the B Gibb was a pinata… you could hit the crap out of a pinata!!!

    Like

  7. Zadge and Mary V, who asked this question yesterday, and I don’t think anyone answered.
    June told us a story about how she is not a hugger. When a dear friend of hers had cancer and June flew out to CA immediately to see her, she (June) just stood in the hospital room door and waved at her.
    So people don’t come in to hug June. They stand in the door and wave since that is an expression of love and concern and caring with which June appears to be comfortable.

    Like

  8. so sorry, June, this sucks. I am a lurker. Husband just walked in and asked why I was crying. He is a huge animal lover but the emotion is too much to explain right now. No hugs, standing in the doorway…

    Like

  9. Cosmo's Dad Big rig truckers... great folks... what about those showers at the truck stops? what if everyone looks like the ZZ Top Guys? says:

    How about a flashmob/occupy Junie’s front yard…all to the great song “Convoy”
    “I Say Big June, this here is the Rubber Duck, I’m a put the hammer down”
    “cause we gotta little ole convoy rocking through the night”

    Like

  10. Cosmo's Dad Big rig truckers... great folks... what about those showers at the truck stops? what if everyone looks like the ZZ Top Guys? says:

    How about a flashmob/occupy Junie’s front yard…all to the great song “Convoy”
    “I Say Big June, this here is the Rubber Duck, I’m a put the hammer down”
    “cause we gotta little ole convoy rocking through the night”

    Like

  11. Cosmo's Dad Big rig truckers... great folks... what about those showers at the truck stops? what if everyone looks like the ZZ Top Guys? says:

    How about a flashmob/occupy Junie’s front yard…all to the great song “Convoy”
    “I Say Big June, this here is the Rubber Duck, I’m a put the hammer down”
    “cause we gotta little ole convoy rocking through the night”

    Like

  12. ooooooh.. I just googled Hagerstown MD to you and its only 5 hours and 34 min. hey we could hang I have no plans… Lucy and Cosmo and Me and You and Talu and Ed… it might be ackward at first and the dogs will “tussle” (my new favorite word”… but heck, I’m not doing anything else… let me know your plans

    Like

  13. ooooooh.. I just googled Hagerstown MD to you and its only 5 hours and 34 min. hey we could hang I have no plans… Lucy and Cosmo and Me and You and Talu and Ed… it might be ackward at first and the dogs will “tussle” (my new favorite word”… but heck, I’m not doing anything else… let me know your plans

    Like

  14. ooooooh.. I just googled Hagerstown MD to you and its only 5 hours and 34 min. hey we could hang I have no plans… Lucy and Cosmo and Me and You and Talu and Ed… it might be ackward at first and the dogs will “tussle” (my new favorite word”… but heck, I’m not doing anything else… let me know your plans

    Like

  15. I don’t drive a truck….I wear a shirt and tie to work…any trucker people out there who wear a shirt and tie don’t be offended, and those who drive naked… well heck party on…

    Like

  16. I don’t drive a truck….I wear a shirt and tie to work…any trucker people out there who wear a shirt and tie don’t be offended, and those who drive naked… well heck party on…

    Like

  17. I don’t drive a truck….I wear a shirt and tie to work…any trucker people out there who wear a shirt and tie don’t be offended, and those who drive naked… well heck party on…

    Like

  18. I have been lurking – kept checking in for good news. Have not ever commented but I am so sorry, that is just awful news. He was beautiful.

    Like

  19. My heart is broken for you. My husband and I discussed today how sad our lives would be without our Tater(shihtzu). I can’t imagine how you must feel. Sending you a non-hug hug!!!

    Like

  20. “Roger, meet Francis.” Becky, you hit the nail on the head. Those two will be getting into a lot of mischief together.
    So, so sorry, June.

    Like

  21. Oh, June-just got home late from work- I’m so sorry that Roger is gone.
    I had a feeling when I started catching up on the comments and when I scrolled down to yours,that was it. I read the rest of yours then I couldn’t read any more…it’s too sad.
    He had a great life with you…

    Like

  22. I am so very sorry about Roger. I’m so glad he lived with someone who loved (and continues to love) him so very much.

    Like

  23. I posted this on the Pie on the Face page but thought it was worth repeating here for those that haven’t joined up (and why haven’t you!)
    June.
    I know you just have a blog. And most of us are just strangers that love reading your spin on things. And 99% of us will never meet you or each other but….you have brought us all together. We love when you love, we suffer when you suffer and every single stinkin’ one of us wants you to be so damn happy your hair goes straight. Thank you for sharing your life with us. Thanks for sharing Ed and Lu, Fran, Rog, Anderson, Henry and Win. I have cried rivers today over this little kitty and just wanted to let you know Rog did more in his little life then most damn people do. He made us laugh and now he has made us cry. Blessings be heaped upon you a thousand times over.

    Like

  24. I’m so very sad for your loss. I’ve lost two dogs and 3 cats and the heartbreak is untenable – especially the dog (Lily, curb-side terrier) that was hit by a a car, neighbors that witnessed said the evil mean neighbor did it on purpose. It’s something about a life cut short that hurts so much – I’m so sorry June. Prays to you and Roger tonight.

    Like

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