In which the Feenies and DeFazios are mentioned a bit often

Marvin suggested I paint black spots on Edsel and give HIM to the firemen for saving my life the other day. Now, see? That's why Marvin makes the big dollars. Allllways thinking. What a valuable asset to a fire Edsel would be. "Oh! Oh Edzul God! Oh no! Edzul flap paws uselisslee! Maybe we play … Continue reading In which the Feenies and DeFazios are mentioned a bit often

A linear, one-subject post. As per usual.

I did not mean to insert this photo. Typepad has some cockamamie new thing where they present photos to me really small, but anyway I love this picture as it pretty much sums up my while world. Edsel being involved in being an IDIOT, and Tallulah being sympathetic to my plight. Look at Edsel's muscuLAture, … Continue reading A linear, one-subject post. As per usual.

How many firemen does it take to change a smoke detctor?

So, last night I was here, minding my own business, and I love it when people start stories that way. I mean, how many times are you minding someone else's business? Granted, right now you are sitting there minding my business, but whatever. So, last night I was here, with my binoculars pressed to the … Continue reading How many firemen does it take to change a smoke detctor?

And not in a good way. Well. And not in a bad way, either, so I should shut up.

I set the damn alarm for 8:00 and not 7:00 and I woke up at 7:45 with a start because it was light out and I knew that was not right. This means I have to wait till tomorrow to tell you why there were four firemen in my house last night. I hate everything. … Continue reading And not in a good way. Well. And not in a bad way, either, so I should shut up.

Coincidentally, I actually HAD the opportunity to say, “My ass would make you a Sunday face.”

Before I tell you about the worst date of all time, which in fact is not even true because once in 1988 a guy picked me up already drunk then told me I was white trash before appetizers, and really THAT one was worse, I have two important details to tell you, even though last … Continue reading Coincidentally, I actually HAD the opportunity to say, “My ass would make you a Sunday face.”

My grandma used to say, “Your ass would make him a Sunday face.” I know that takes like 15 minutes to figure out.

I am sad about Heidi Klum and Seal, which is not at all pathetic of me, because I know them really well and Heidi Klum and I are like this. But they always seemed so happy, and like such a hot couple, and once again I'd like to remind you of the many times they … Continue reading My grandma used to say, “Your ass would make him a Sunday face.” I know that takes like 15 minutes to figure out.

HATE LOST LOVES. Also? I discuss Newt. As always.

A few days ago, in the labyrinth of my comments, Faithful Reader Jan made the fateful mistake of telling us all that she used to write poetry about her boyfriends when she was sad in high school. I told Jan she was banned from my blog until she came up with said poetry. You should … Continue reading HATE LOST LOVES. Also? I discuss Newt. As always.

A post about everything and nothing. Aka what else is new.

I just got back from having dinner with The Other June, and I am writing this before I go to bed. I have a dentist appointment early Thursday morning, so I am writing my post at night, and let me tell you. Things are fascinating over here at House of June. I hate getting my … Continue reading A post about everything and nothing. Aka what else is new.

Recapp of ludicroup lyfe. Ludicroup. I MEANT to type ludicrous but ludicroup sums it up too.

My life has been redackulous since before Christmas. Have you noticed that? Have you gone around thinking of little else other than my life since Christmastime? Why not? First I had the incident with the money, where I accidentally sent $1,600 to a credit card, when I meant to send $200 (I clicked the wrong … Continue reading Recapp of ludicroup lyfe. Ludicroup. I MEANT to type ludicrous but ludicroup sums it up too.