In which June remains sort of ill

Because I know you were up all night worrying about me, I am still not 100%. I went to the Harris Teeter, there, near me, and got some rice last night, and a Gatorade, and once I consumed those things my stomach was all WHAT ARE YOU DOING, PUTTING STUFF IN ME?

So I am staying home again today, as things are still not copacetic in the digestive area.

In the meantime, I've had plenty of opportunity to stare at my pets.

For example, note Huey and Louie, here, remembering that they are no longer allowed on the couch. Have you noted the part where I don't have a coffee table all of a sudden? That's because it's still in the back room from Christmas and I haven't roped anyone into helping me move it.

Note also my huge Christmas tree, which I similarly need help lugging into the attic. Sometimes it sucks living alone. Tall Boy was supposed to come over last night and watch a movie with me, because I am friends with Tall Boy, because it is necessary that I keep all the exes on the charm bracelet of my life, but I told him not to come over because I might still be contagious. My point is, he was gonna lug the tree. He is tall. He could have just stood down here and placed it in the attic without climbing any steps.

And yes, Iris does keep scaling the tree like a teensy Tensing Norgay. It is a small victory for her over and over when she claws her way to the top.

IMG_0193Nobodee tell Edzul he not allow on CHAIR. You just say cowch. 

And I know that looks like a tampon on that side table, but it's a pen. Also, does that table need help at all? What scratches?

Speaking of Edsel, or Edzul, do you know who is becoming his special friend?

Miss Lily.

She kept rubbing on him, so all the pictures kept coming out blurry. But for some reason she just loves her an Edsel. She is the Faithful Reader Zadge of cats.

See? Someone was always rubbing up on someone. Trust me. There was love there. Or perhaps the macarena. Whichever. Look at her little foot on Edsel's.

IMG_0195Franklee mom, not sur why we need anyone but Lu.

So, I guess it's another day at home for me. I hope my stupid innards get better today, as this is getting boring. I similarly hope Aunt Kathy calls me 949585893930304040 times, as she did yesterday, to discuss the many pressing things we discussed. Now she will read this and get pissed off, but seriously she woke me up 70 times. "What do you think of Wen?" "Do you remember that time your uncle and I went to Mexico in 1972? What did I wear on the plane?"

Okay, she didn't really ask me that, but sadly I could probably recall. I almost have that Marilu Henner disease where she remembers everything. I mean, I know I never remember appointments or to zip my pants, but ask me what we ate at that reastaurant when you visited me in LA, and I can tell you that, and the date, and our waiter's name. Why? Do I know? Has it done me any good in life? It has not. In fact, all it mostly does is frustrate me because people think I'm making stuff up. "You couldn't possibly remember that."


A few months ago I was talking with Marvin about the broken dryer, "It's probably still under warranty," said Marvin. "I don't know," I said. "We bought it August 5, 2007 when we moved to NC. Oh wait. That washer and dryer didn't fit in this house. We bought THIS washer/dryer April 18, 2008."

"Okay, freak," said Marvin, who is totally used to my shenanigans. 

Anyway. I guess I will go shower and maybe make some tea. See how that goes. Consuming things is an adventure right now.

Talk to you January 11, 2012.

Oh! And confidential to my fellow highbrow Real Housewives fans–Kyle needs Al-Anon. So bad, she does.


Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

214 thoughts on “In which June remains sort of ill”

  1. Duffy, adorable Doberman is what Baked Beans is. Had me a Doberman playmate growing up,
    People are freaks with their names for kids.


  2. June!! I worry when I can’t find you!! You’re not passed out dead on the floor are you???? Crawl to the keyboard and tap out SOS or something!!!
    Imagining the worst, hoping for the best!
    A Fan!


  3. Am I crazy? Because I don’t see Beyonce’s belly deflate. Couldn’t that just be the fabric of her dress sort of draping? Gah, I have to stop watching that video.
    I knew someone who named her kids after when they were born – Tuesday After Dinner and Saturday Before Lunch. I kid you not.
    The only thing I found to relate to about that was how she clearly tied her day to mealtimes. Who can’t relate?


  4. I think we have to give a lot of credit for the craze in ridiculous celebrity children names to Frank Zappa, who bestowed his offspring with the unforgettable monikers “Moon Unit” and “Diva Thin Muffin.” That, boys and girls, is what happens to a brain on drugs.


  5. Do any of these unfortunate children with horrible names ever live normal lives?


  6. June, I am so sorry you were forced to report to work today. If I were one of your co-workers I would be furious at the boss exposing everyone to the flu or whatever made you sick. Sadie had an excellent point, better to be needed than not needed. Thankful for the job.
    Duffy, love the Bean. When can you pick him up? Hope your efforts to work things out are successful.


  7. Oh Duffylou!
    I love Beany Baby!
    Guess it’s a good thing I don’t live anywhere near Ohio as I could adopt all of them-just breaks your heart to see all those sweet faces…
    Good luck-


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