HATE LOST LOVES. Also? I discuss Newt. As always.

A few days ago, in the labyrinth of my comments, Faithful Reader Jan made the fateful mistake of telling us all that she used to write poetry about her boyfriends when she was sad in high school.

I told Jan she was banned from my blog until she came up with said poetry. You should know that a few years back, I had to have a stupid MRI for my migraines and it was no big deal but of course I MADE it a big deal, but Jan really DID have a big medical deal and as soon as she woke up from HER thing, she asked her sister, "Did June get her MRI results yet?"

So what I'm saying is I'm a super, super good person.

Without further ado, let's all laugh at Jan's pain and angst.

 

H eartbroken
A ll-consuming
T ightly wound
E ager to love
 
L osing something
O nce
S olid
T o
 
L oneliness
O nce
V ivacious, now
E verything is
S oured

 

Poor Jan. She lost something once solid. So did I, when I had that stomach bug the other day. Also, Jan, I work right next to a poet, and not only is she a poet, she TRAVELS THE COUNTRY because she is asked to READ said poems in major cities all the time. Also, she just won a national award.

I forwarded her your poems. Oh, you are welcome. It was nothing.

 

Dreams shattered,
Hearts battered,
Lives tattered,
Love.
Eyes cry,
Hearts die,
Wondering WHY???,
Love.
No peace,
Feelings cease,
Lies increase,
Love.
Marriage vow,
Forever now,
No tears I allow.
LOVE.

 

I always like a comma after 70 question marks. Poor Jan. Her feelings ceased. Or someone's did. I guess hers didn't. Her heart died and her eyes cried. I mean, I glean she was the heart-dier and eye crier from this scenario. Also, Nancy Kerrigan called. Wants her line back.

Was there ANYONE who had just a smooth time in high school? "High school? Oh, I was a cheerleader and had one boyfriend and we never broke up. My skin was clear and I had great friends and nothing bad happened. Ever. I never went around singing Open Arms like it was good."

If there is anyone who had that experience, please leave a comment and your address, so the rest of us can come toilet paper your house.

In other news, when I wasn't receiving dog flowers (see post below), I went on a date last night and could not find my skirt. I hate everything. I mean, I didn't lose my skirt DURING the date, which would have rendered it way more PG-rated than it was. But I'd planned the outfir days ago, and was going to wear my gray skirt and lacy black top, and I even HAD THE SKIRT IN MY HANDS and said, Oh, good. Skirt's clean.

Then when it was time to get ready, do you think that #$%$&#&# thing was anywhere? ANYWHERE? And have you ever tried to frantically search your house with 100 pounds of dog and two cats DIRECTLY UNDER YOU at all times? Why do I have the clingiest animals ever created?

So I wore jeans. I mean, I wore a shirt too, but the whole thing was not what I had planned and here. I took a picture right before I left.

Photo on 1-19-12 at 6.57 PM
I am in my coat, so you can see none of the outfit, except the flower pin Miss Doxie sent me that was on my coat. I note I took this at 6:57, which is nice because I was supposed to be there at 7:00.

Photo on 1-19-12 at 10.12 PM
And here I am, back home, at 10:12. No worse for the wear, really. Wouldn't it be sad if I did not go on a date at all last night and I just sat here for three hours and 15 minutes and took these photos?

Anyway, further reports on that as developments warrant. And this was not the guy who I owe a date to because I got sick. I am getting my roots done Saturday in Raleigh and am seeing him after. Although he does not live in Raleigh. I realize that made little sense.

I guess that's all I had to tell you, except I have no cavities and spent $95 on a new Oral B. I already HAVE an Oral B and if you do not have one I highly recommend it. First of all, my checkups are way better and no, I'm not getting paid to say this. Plus I'm certain its better for the environment to throw away a small toothbrush head rather than a whole toothbrush. But I've had my Oral B, and how many times can I say "Oral B," for a few years now, and the handle itself was not really clean and I couldn't GET it clean and it was bugging me. So I got another one. And my hygienist told me to stop putting so much toothpaste on the teensy brush head.

I know that was riveting.

And I do have one more thing I almost forgot. I would never vote for Newt Ginrich. You know how I feel about political things. I HATE the attitude that people who don't agree with us politically must be idiots, or the enemy, or pure evil. But I do not agree with him and would never vote for him based on that. However? I am 100% in support of him on this.

http://specials.washingtonpost.com/mv/embed/?title=Newt%20Gingrich%20slams%20John%20King%20for%20question%20on%20ex-wife%20(2%3A01)&stillURL=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.washingtonpost.com%2Frf%2Fimage_606w%2F2010-2019%2FWashingtonPost%2F2012%2F01%2F20%2FNational-Politics%2FVideos%2F01192012-96v%2F01192012-96v.jpg&flvURL=%2Fmedia%2F2012%2F01%2F19%2F01192012-96v.m4v&width=480&height=270&autoStart=0&clickThru=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.washingtonpost.com%2Fpolitics%2Fnewt-gingrich-slams-john-king-for-question-on-ex-wife-201%2F2012%2F01%2F19%2FgIQA7fRKCQ_video.html 

I do! What someone says to his WIFE, while they are struggling to keep their MARRIAGE afloat, is (a) none of our business no matter what and (3) does not make him lacking in character. It just doesn't. It's ridiculous. And petty. And I similarly didn't care what Bill Clinton was doing over there with a dress from The Gap, either. Could we move on from people's personal lives? 

If we looked at ANY of our personal lives, we'd find something that looked not-so-great. Geez.

That's all I have to say about that. Jan, could you write a poem about it?

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Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

275 thoughts on “HATE LOST LOVES. Also? I discuss Newt. As always.”

  1. This “open marriage” crap wouldn’t keep me from voting for Newt … Marianne seemed like an absolute NUT in interviews back when he was the Speaker of the House so if he really did ask that … well, at least he didn’t want to cheat behind her back? Who knows, honestly, who cares. I have many other reasons to not vote for Newt. I have to say his affair did bug me all those years ago. He’s going after Clinton for an affair all the while doing what himself? Yes, Clinton was having the affair with a young INTERN (and then lied under oath) but really is having an affair with a much younger staffer THAT much different? But Newt was right. CNN and all the news agency that are running this stuff should be discussing much more important stuff. Still not voting for Newt. YICK.

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  2. You know Anita, when I blogged about Sadie’s lentil soup, I said that it had to be the marjoram that gives it a kick because I just can’t see what other ingredients could pull that flavor out. BUT, with bacon anything is possible, so if you make it without the marjoram, I’d like to know if it still had that kick. It’d be nice to know what other people think too, if that spice is necessary.

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  3. Newt is horrid. Like Pamela said, anyone that has views like he does of people of color needs to stay home with his gun and his small world view and keep it to himself. Good GOD, how could he possibly be a president?
    How could Obama NOT win given the buffoons the poor republicans have to choose from!! They are all just self-imploding and it’s a pleasure to watch (for me anyway – a tried and true liberal!!)…

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  4. Open marriage? Intriguing idea.
    Yes, Letha, I AM married, and very happily so. Mrs. Peter reads this blog religiously. She knew I was getting the flowers for June–in fact she suggested it, as a thank you for the warm welcome June gave me when I started posting. Pal? Well, Pal and I are fellow New Englanders. And I thought she deserved them too (plus, the whining was getting to me).
    At least I didn’t get them both the same arrangement.

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  5. Cosmo's Dad.. . we had a nice 8x10 glossy of the Nixon family in the living room. Dick, Pat, Tricia and ?? the other one... my Mom would get mad when the photo was place face down...blamed it on the Housekeeper says:

    Amish A/P a Financier… we lived on the coast…. front yard, house, pool/tennis court, cliff, 500 feet down, ocean, 26 miles away Catalina Island.

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  6. Cosmo's Dad.. . we had a nice 8x10 glossy of the Nixon family in the living room. Dick, Pat, Tricia and ?? the other one... my Mom would get mad when the photo was place face down...blamed it on the Housekeeper says:

    Amish A/P a Financier… we lived on the coast…. front yard, house, pool/tennis court, cliff, 500 feet down, ocean, 26 miles away Catalina Island.

    Like

  7. Cosmo's Dad.. . we had a nice 8x10 glossy of the Nixon family in the living room. Dick, Pat, Tricia and ?? the other one... my Mom would get mad when the photo was place face down...blamed it on the Housekeeper says:

    Amish A/P a Financier… we lived on the coast…. front yard, house, pool/tennis court, cliff, 500 feet down, ocean, 26 miles away Catalina Island.

    Like

  8. Pal, I love your flowers and I also love your veedeeooo of Dallas the shredder. He looks so happy.
    Jan I thought your poetry was fabu, particularly the second one because it rhymed. You captured that high school angst perfectly.
    June, yay for a second date. And for a first one tomorrow. Have a great weekend.

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  9. Peter… proving once again that guys always love to please women who know what they want.
    Peter, I want a house next door to Cosmo’s parents! If it helps you to decide, the angsty love of my life was named Peter. Wait, you’re not HIM, are you? No, I don’t think you’re old enough. Did you ever live in Los Angeles and work for Disney Studios??

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  10. Hello, Peter. We bonded over Fergie Jenkins. Have I ever mentioned my birthday is in February? No??? Huh. Well, since you asked… it’s the 13th. Which usually means Valentine’s day doesn’t even rate a box of truffles for me. Ever. Not even when we were dating. Oh my! February is NEXT month!
    Thanks for all of the love and support today. I took a deep breath when I hit send on the email filled with poems to June. Then I decided they were too funny not share. I appreciate all the validation. There are more. Many, many more. June has a few more in her possession.

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  11. More poems, Jan! I loved them! But mine (long since lost to my moodiness and the trash can) were MUCH more ANGSTY. Yours actually seemed pretty thoughtful and reasonable, and very good, especially for a high school girl!

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  12. Peter, who now knows what it's like to win the lottery and find every kid he's forgotten from grade school asking for a loan. says:

    Becky, it’s time I came clean. If you want to know the truth, I’m really just a facilitator, hired by June late last year to bring a little extra happiness to her Faithful Readers so she can boost her readership. Consider June a much more attractive version of Oprah with her giveaways.
    Let me see… I think she can swing a piece of ocean front property in Southern California. I’ll get right on it.

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  13. Sadie - I hope not, because we would all have BBP withdrawal and Mrs. Oh's Tourette's would, undoubtedly, be worse. says:

    Becky and Mrs. Oh are killing me with the suck up. Jan, you share your birthday with my nephew. I don’t think he ever worried that his birthday was too close to Valentine’s Day.
    June, I finally remembered what I originally wanted to comment first thing this morning. “Could we move on from people’s personal lives?” When I read that I wondered if that meant we all had to quit reading your blog.

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  14. Peter, that is great news! I will let my landlord know. Yeah, I figured that whole “fuck off” thing by June was just a ruse.

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  15. zzzzzzzzzBOOBS AND ORAL!!! Huh? What? Oh. Just woke a little while ago and I am now at work. So I have a little catching up to do:
    ~I am a liberal Republican and Newt is probably an assbag like all the rest of them (Obama included-suuuuuure he has never fooled around. Sure. No problem believing THAT…) but that question has nothing to do with politics. The damn newspeople are getting as bad as the politicians…
    ~I wrote a poem about my baseball glove…
    ~Stacy was NOT knocked up in the dugout. She was knocked up in the pool house by Damone. Doesn’t anyone pay attention to plotlines anymore???
    ~Are we allowed to say “black ass”?
    ~Hey Pete-if I piss and moan enough can you buy me a 60″ LCD HD TV? Thanks…

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  16. zzzzzzzzzBOOBS AND ORAL!!! Huh? What? Oh. Just woke a little while ago and I am now at work. So I have a little catching up to do:
    ~I am a liberal Republican and Newt is probably an assbag like all the rest of them (Obama included-suuuuuure he has never fooled around. Sure. No problem believing THAT…) but that question has nothing to do with politics. The damn newspeople are getting as bad as the politicians…
    ~I wrote a poem about my baseball glove…
    ~Stacy was NOT knocked up in the dugout. She was knocked up in the pool house by Damone. Doesn’t anyone pay attention to plotlines anymore???
    ~Are we allowed to say “black ass”?
    ~Hey Pete-if I piss and moan enough can you buy me a 60″ LCD HD TV? Thanks…

    Like

  17. zzzzzzzzzBOOBS AND ORAL!!! Huh? What? Oh. Just woke a little while ago and I am now at work. So I have a little catching up to do:
    ~I am a liberal Republican and Newt is probably an assbag like all the rest of them (Obama included-suuuuuure he has never fooled around. Sure. No problem believing THAT…) but that question has nothing to do with politics. The damn newspeople are getting as bad as the politicians…
    ~I wrote a poem about my baseball glove…
    ~Stacy was NOT knocked up in the dugout. She was knocked up in the pool house by Damone. Doesn’t anyone pay attention to plotlines anymore???
    ~Are we allowed to say “black ass”?
    ~Hey Pete-if I piss and moan enough can you buy me a 60″ LCD HD TV? Thanks…

    Like

  18. Oh, right, check out the EYELASHES in the first picture.

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  19. Oh, right, check out the EYELASHES in the first picture.

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  20. Oh, right, check out the EYELASHES in the first picture.

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  21. Amish Annie/Paul but I'm not dead enough to wonder if D of C's Dad needs a mistress or something. Sh*it, now I'm acting like a Newt mistress, GAH! says:

    Oh my gosh, I am just DYING, DYING over today’s comments!!!

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  22. Lake Forest? Chino Hills? Both close by! This will be driving me crazy now. But I won’t pry.

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  23. Oh. And here is my take on what June’s dates are talking about to their buddies the next day…

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  24. Oh. And here is my take on what June’s dates are talking about to their buddies the next day…

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  25. Oh. And here is my take on what June’s dates are talking about to their buddies the next day…

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  26. Cosmo’s dad, please accept my apology for calling you Cosmo earlier when I said I wanted a house next to Cosmo’s parents. I know you are not your dog. Your childhood home sounds gorgeous– and kudos on your mini protest against Tricky Dick.

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  27. Pal. Spill. Not on Peter, but his beautiful wife. Unless the beautiful wife wants to present herself. Or not.

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  28. AA/AP, no one said my wife was beautiful. Just mysterious. However, she is beautiful (okay, she told me to say that, but she really is).
    And Mrs. Oh, I assume that anything between 3 and 5 carats will suffice?

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  29. I will take a house over a diamond any day! Im happy for you, Mrs. Oh! I really am. Hopefully this will help make your condition a little more bearable.

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  30. Oh Yeah, Julie, married her Father’s former boss’s grandson, an Eisenhower….
    Pete and Becky.. use the google for Abalone Cove in California… its scenic
    Mrs Oh… ABC’s John Stossel did a great Tourets story a few years back…. “your underwears on fire” was a new trained phrase for a man who said “other” things…

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  31. Oh Yeah, Julie, married her Father’s former boss’s grandson, an Eisenhower….
    Pete and Becky.. use the google for Abalone Cove in California… its scenic
    Mrs Oh… ABC’s John Stossel did a great Tourets story a few years back…. “your underwears on fire” was a new trained phrase for a man who said “other” things…

    Like

  32. Oh Yeah, Julie, married her Father’s former boss’s grandson, an Eisenhower….
    Pete and Becky.. use the google for Abalone Cove in California… its scenic
    Mrs Oh… ABC’s John Stossel did a great Tourets story a few years back…. “your underwears on fire” was a new trained phrase for a man who said “other” things…

    Like

  33. Wow, thanks for sharing that, Cosmo’s dad. It looks GORGEOUS, and I must drive over and see it. I’ve been in LB for 2 years now and it’s unforgivable that I haven’t yet been over to experience the beauty of RPV.

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  34. Hulk, that is awesome. You guys must feel great about that.
    I believe I may have broken the record today for most comments posted in one day, but I wanted you to know that I saw it.

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  35. Becky, whenever I get pissy about work or some of the stuff that goes on around here, I think of things like this.

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  36. Seriously, the man who nearly brought down a president for cheating WHILE CHEATING HIMSELF is allowed to keep his marital life private? Newt is the one who made character and marital fidelity an issue, he doesn’t get to hide now. I’m really disappointed in your take on this. Ron Paul’s marriage, that’s truly not relevant because he didn’t make it a hallmark of his political career. Newt did, so his is fair game.

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  37. Apparently Tammy was looking for CNN, not BBP…

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  38. 9.5 ozs! That’s hard to even imagine a baby that tiny. Good work Hulk!
    Tammy. You don’t distinguish between what a man did years ago versus the activity engaged in by a sitting president in the oval (or oral, as it apparently became for a time) office? And how about lying about it under oath? No difference?

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  39. Nice work, Hulk and colleagues. The Buddhists call this kind of work Right Livlihood. Making your living with something that helps the world.

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