There are many cats pics in this one, Hulk! No, no, really, you’re welcome.

Last night I ended up at a dark tiny dive bar with a…friend (June. Trying to be subtle since 2012.) (June. Good at being subtle since never.) and I would just like to mention I like dark tiny dive bars. I always have. And I'd never been to this one but it was cool. Except for the RIDICULOUSLY LOUD MUSIC.

"IS THIS LOUD MUSIC BUGGING YOU?" I asked my…friend.

"YES, IT DOES, BECAUSE WE'RE OLD," said friend pointed out. At the previous place we'd had to put the candle right up to the menu in order to read it. I mean, maybe there's a reason old people don't like to drive at night. It's God's way of keeping us in.

We weren't the only old folk in there, although there were plenty of youngsters, ALL DRINKING PABST BLUE RIBBON and I cannot tell you how that annoys me. When I was young the point was to drink the most pretentious beer possible. "Yes, this is black alcoholic tar from the roads of a destroyed African village. Drinking it raises money for the peoples."

I think the loudness may have bugged me, in part, because I was not drunk. I looked at the bartender, who probably also was not drunk, and wondered how he wasn't bugged. But I came to the conclusion his years of bartending had made his tinnitus so terrible that this was probably how he listened to music at home.

My point is, at one point in the evening these people just walked in with a Pit Bull. A HUGE brown and white one; he was really a beautiful dog. And apparently he strolled in there a lot, because people fussed over him (gee, I didn't. You can imagine how I did not leave a trail of dust off my barstool, beating everyone out of my way so I could pet that big big Pitty head.) but it seemed kind of like, oh. There's the Pit agin.

The dog just stood there and let himself get petted, and smiled and wagged, but was really calm.

"Can you imagine if I brought Edsel to a bar?" I asked my…you know, acquaintance who accompanied me.

"He'd be all, 'HI! HELLO! HELLO! WHO YOU? HELLO! HI! HI! HI! HI!' at every barstool," said that person I just went to a dive bar with. Nothing to see here.

Then we got into a discussion about what drinks my dogs would order. Lu would so be, "Get me a Jager shot" and Edsel would be like Clarence when he got to drink at Nick's in It's a Wonderful Life. "Ooo! Dis exciting! Let see! Hi! Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi! Who you? Ummm, Eds have daqu–Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!"

 IMG_0363we not injoyy assesmint, mom.

Yes. They ARE on the Angry Chair. It took nine months for them to even consider it, but they no longer fear that Francis will rise from the dead and scratch the crap out of them.

I still fear that.

Oh, and just one more thing about my evening. At the dimly lit read-the-menu-by-candlelight place, the three people at the table next to me were all on their phones. I mean, staring into them. For, like, 15 minutes. And they weren't all looking something up together, as my ex-coworkers and I did the other day when we were all trying to find our Chinese horoscopes and we got on our phones to see who could get the info first. They were not speaking, staring at their phones.

Okay, this has to stop. Why do you get dressed, do your hair, get in the car, pay for food or alcohol and then STARE AT YOUR PHONE all night? Isn't the point of going out so that you can, you know, socialize? How is that sociable? What is so riveting that you need to be looking elsewhere? YOU'RE OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS. Live a little.

Of course, I was spending my time not socialize and obsessing over them, but whatever.

In other news, yesterday I took my statistics book into the spare bedroom where there is no bed, and I guess I will have to put off THAT purchase for now, and worked while I hung with the cats. Lily still mostly stays in there. She isn't horrified of the dogs, because they go in there and when they do she rubs up on them, but she has her food and her box and the whole walk-in closet with dark corners and she just seems content to hang there. I am giving her time and I try to spend some Lily time with her every day.

IMG_0335Who wouldn't want to spend time with this flufferkins? LOOK at her!

Yesterday I was there right on time for some cat-on-cat action.

IMG_0345

They got right in the warm afternoon sun so they could relax while they kicked the shit out each other.

IMG_0333lilee had it wif stupit iris. you not even blynd. fakur.

IMG_0338mom! lillee say i not blind! tell her i blind! it not fare, mom!

IMG_0351come heer, stupit lillee! iris pop yer eye out too!
IMG_0352blarrrgh! blarrrghhh! iris posss by satan! blarrrch!

IMG_0355lilee…not sure want to play wif satan kitty.

IMG_0353 hell. sure lilee do.

I like my Lily font. It's annoying to have to go up there and change the color, style, size and italicize it. Still. I wish one of the choices were just "Lily font."

Okay, I am going. My EX coworker TinaDoris and I are going to the fortune teller again. I am not going but she is. I will just wait for her and look at crystals and play with the cats who live there.

Or maybe stare at my phone.

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Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

131 thoughts on “There are many cats pics in this one, Hulk! No, no, really, you’re welcome.”

  1. Deb who just came home from a meeting with 5 other women and was the fattest one there. I am a size 4/6. Sigh. Hate getting older - who knew about the ring around the middle?! says:

    Arlene, I am not. At all. Trust. Not only is it the middle – my thighs are beginning to slide down my legs. Hot, no? Had I known what I would now be looking like 20 years ago I would have worn a bikini 24/7. I could stop reading this blog and get some exercise and that may rearrange the terrain… oh, who am I kidding?

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  2. Deb who just came home from a meeting with 5 other women and was the fattest one there. I am a size 4/6. Sigh. Hate getting older - who knew about the ring around the middle?! says:

    Arlene, I am not. At all. Trust. Not only is it the middle – my thighs are beginning to slide down my legs. Hot, no? Had I known what I would now be looking like 20 years ago I would have worn a bikini 24/7. I could stop reading this blog and get some exercise and that may rearrange the terrain… oh, who am I kidding?

    Like

  3. Deb who just came home from a meeting with 5 other women and was the fattest one there. I am a size 4/6. Sigh. Hate getting older - who knew about the ring around the middle?! says:

    Arlene, I am not. At all. Trust. Not only is it the middle – my thighs are beginning to slide down my legs. Hot, no? Had I known what I would now be looking like 20 years ago I would have worn a bikini 24/7. I could stop reading this blog and get some exercise and that may rearrange the terrain… oh, who am I kidding?

    Like

  4. While I’m incredibly jealous of everyone’s snow, we did get that rarest of treats here in the PNW this week….sun! We’ve had four sunny days in a row. It’s still in the forties, with a windchill factor of 36, but we’re all lounging outside like we live in Maui. Now, if y could just be sunny AND snowy, I could probably get over not winning Powerball last Wednesday.

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  5. Somebody remind me, what is the “Your baby is a transvestite” story? Something about a baby on a plane…How did I miss this one?

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  6. I think June’s book should be titled “Namaste Bitches” it would sell like hotcakes in the Bible belt.
    And from Oct: Becky’s comments….”I’m with susie b, no memory and can’t find my words. I work on an airplane and went to talk to a woman who I thought had a crying baby, I realized it wasn’t her baby but the one 3 rows up. What came out of my mouth- “oh, your baby’s a transvestite” what I meant to say “your baby’s a vantriloquist”. Awkward!”

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  7. The entire time I was looking at Iris and Lily? I was going “eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” not cos I’m eecummings, but because I. LOVE. THEM. TO. PIECES.
    Ack and then ack.
    And that picture of Lu and Eds? Says it all. They are the cutest dogs ever. I love them sooo..
    Please tell them that bossy Aunt Lisa says helllooooooo! And I love you both! (I love your animals. Can you tell?)

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  8. Hipsters love the fact the 24 oz cans of PBR can usually be had for about $2. You can’t beat that with a stick. Well you could, but you’d be wasting a beer.

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  9. Mrs. Blue, once I called Tallulah a he. Tallulah then commented something along the lines of she was going to bite my neck. I lived to tell about it, so I think you’ll be fine too.

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  10. Direct quote from Delta Airline’s February 2012 Sky magazine:
    “Pabst Blue Ribbon. Est. 1895. Milwaukee-brewed PBR, as it is more commonly known, is the official beer (tall boys of course) of hipsters from coast to coast.” Seriously. Who knew?

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  11. PB really is popular with the youngsters in these here parts.I didn’t know it was nation wide.

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  12. Thanks and love to you Peter and Mrs. Oh. How in the world did I ever miss that gem?

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  13. Eww I hate that phone stuff! I see married couples out all the time staring/texting/playing Angry Birds all the time. Why did you bother to leave the house?

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