I just woke up. I know. What am I, 14?
I went out last night and partayyed with my …friend. And who is getting tired of having to call him my dot dot dot friend?
Do you know who needs to get over YouTube?
Anyway, somehow last night I was telling the story of someone I know who has issues with possessiveness. Dot dot dot friend said, "Wasn't it Alabama who told us, 'Hold on loosely? But don't let go'?"
Then today he emailed me to say that was .38 Special, and it's important we get that deep message right.
So I had fun, and did not get to bed till after 2:00, which means neither did the dogs, because they wait up with rolling pins, and does anyone actually wait up with rolling pins anymore? Because if they did, wouldn't you be all, Why do you have a ROLLING PIN? You will be shocked to hear I do not own a rolling pin. Do you? If you do, everyone be sure to get all up in what you use it for in the comments, and then share rolling pin recipes with each other, and then check back and talk about how delicious your rolling pins made everything.
Because I will not come to your houses with a .38 Special or anything.
What IS a .38 Special? I mean, what makes it so special? Is it like when our parents tell us we're all special and it's just a regular gun like all the other guns, really? It's just a kind of chubby, homely gun watching Brady Bunch like everyone else?
Anyway. I have to go now because it is noon and time for Whitney's funeral live on TMZ. Later I will pick a comment of the week, so look on This Week's Special when I get back from the funeral.
When I "get back" from the funeral. I am .38 special.