June can't keep a man · June's stupid life · Marvin

Weeding the Garden

Heyyyy! Sixteen percent in the HOWSE!

Who is annoying?

Am pleased to be back home, with my always-nice-to-each-other pets. It looks like Lily is embracing Iris but really she's kicking that kitten's blind ass.

I will miss Sleeping Beauty's little family, and by the way, Sleeping Ruggedly Handsome does not like his picture taken. It's not like I secretly abhor him and refuse to include him in the pics. Again, with me saying "pics."

I plan to call a therapist this week to work out why I suddenly like babies. It must mean something. Also, Sleeping's baby is named Josie, and guess who tormented that child by screeching "JOSIE'S ON A VACATION FAR AWAY!" to her at every opportunity?


IMG_0875ant joon kind of annoy.

It was a year ago today that Marvin moved out. It was two years ago that my Uncle Jim died. Basically the end of March has sucked (see above onesie) for awhile now. It was nice to sit on the beach and feel perfectly content. I'm sure my stupid grieving is not done, and I'll have more setbacks, but I know Marvin and I had to end things. We've been friends since 1986, and I can't imagine we won't get to be friends again.

While I was sitting there soaking in the carcinogens, I wrote my initials in the sand, and I started to write my married-person initials. Then I stopped myself. And wrote the first letter of my maiden name. Because I'm a maiden. Would you like me to bring you milk in a barrel with my braids?

So there it was. My old set of initials. And it was okay. I remember being that person, and it wasn't all bad. That person got to do what she wanted without checking if it was okay with anyone. That person got to sing in the car without offending Mr. Music Ears, which makes me now picture Marvin with treble clefs for earlobes.

IMG_0910Oh, you. Right. I remember you. Hey.

So. I guess I will be okay. Sorry if I've been a pill this year.

Oh, and speaking of marriage, comment of the week goes to the Deliriously Happy Ex Wife. Who do I love? Is it her?

June's stupid life

June + The Beach = TLA

I'm gonna miss him so bad.


Do you like my pajams? They got giraffes on them.

Last night I asked Sleeping Beauty and her man, Sleeping Ruggedly Handsome (he needed a manly name. I just thought of it now) if they had a godmother for Puck. "You know. If. God forbid. AnythinghappenedtoyouIcouldbehismother?!?" I squealed, a little too excited at the thought of the demise of the Sleepings.

"Okay, June. You can be godmother," they said. A trifle tiredly.

Yay! I have a godsondog!

Sent from my ding-dang iPhone.

June's stupid life

Another day, another photo of June holding a baby.

I tried to post last night, using my iPone, and who needs to get over the iPone joke, but the photo posted upside-down. If this one posts upside-down it'll make sense, because me. With a baby. It's just not right.

My point is, and I tried to say this last night, too, is I have bonded with a baby. You might want to batten your hatches.

Remember in stupid Twilight when Jacob first saw ReuiniteLambrusco or RenegadeEsther or whatever that kid was named? And he imprinted?

I totally imprinted on Sleeping Beauty's kid.

This does not mean I haven't totally been getting to second base with SB's dog, because I have. Oh her dog is adorable. He is a big big big Lab Pitty mix.

Still. Sometimes I stop with the dog and smile at the baby.


Sent from my ding-dang iPhone.

June's stupid life · Travel

June and Sleeping Beauty go to the beach. Except she’s bringing her baby. How much sleep will she really get?

I woke up this morning and before I even opened my eyes, I told myself: YOU GOING TO THE BEACH, BITZ!

So here I go. If I can figure out how to send pictures to my blog, I will. If I can't, just picture me lying there getting melanoma. It's supposed to be sunny and 75 all three days.



...friend/Ned · Hair · June's stupid life

Hot air

Your comments yesterday about your least-favorite songs were the funniest ever. I was in tears laughing. Everyone go read yesterday's comments. I'd cull them, and you know how I like to use the word "cull," but my deadline IS TODAY and I have to scream on here, write something, GO MEDITATE AND BE SERENE, and get my work done.

Then tomorrow I head for the Outer Banks, which I just typed "pouter banks" and I hope I do not end up pouting when I am there.

For a long time now, in fact probably since we installed it–and by "we" I mean not me–the dryer has been a pain in my arse. You have to dry clothes for 200 minutes. That is not one of my exaggerated numbers. The most the timer would go is 100, and I'd ALWAYS have to turn the timer all the way to the end twice before I didn't have I-live-in-Seattle damp clothes.

My mother has always insisted this was, you know, bad, and that I should do something about it, but I was very busy adopting cats.

On Saturday, I was doing some laundry and I noticed a smell. A burning smell. Burning. From the dryer. Well, that seems like not a good sign, I thought cleverly.

So yesterday I called Lowe's, where the dryer was purchased, and I got a man with quite the personality on him. Remember that movie with Robin WIlliams where the people were in suspended animation for decades and Robin Williams was a doctor and he got them out of that state and then the drug didn't work and they went back to being unanimated?

This guy was clearly on his way back to being unanimated.

"lowe's," he said, with all the excitement of a tree sloth. I told him my tale.

"Whatyear'dyoubuyit," he intoned, and it was like he was asking how long he had to live. "April 19, 2008," I said, because I am weird with dates.


"Oh, no. I mean, I really like having my picture taken, and I have a blog so a lot of people see me. But model? Ha! No. No."

"what model's yer dryer, ma'am."


Anyway, as much as I wished he himself and all his sparkling charm would have been the one to come over, they sent some guy from Snappy Appliances or some similar name.

"HOW YOU DOIN' MA'AM!" Now this guy had some oomph. And he loved my dogs. And he was male, so you know how Edsel got. Is it possible for a dog to grin? Because Edsel was doing so manically.

I was emailing …friend about this whole scenario, who was surprised that I had failed to mention to him about the dryer, you know, catching fire the other day. "I'm taking care of it," I told him. "Right now I'm putting on makeup so the dryer guy approves of me."

"Now, see, had this happened to me, the next day I'm out getting t-shirts: Ask Me About My House Fire. But I guess one person's major episode is another person's reason to put on makeup," he wrote.

While I was reading …friend's email, the dryer guy says, "Oh, wow." I do not think he was appreciating my makeup.

"Ma'am?" he came into the computer room. "Your vent is completely clogged with hair."

I guess none of us should be surprised by that news. Of course it was right then that Here's-My-Fur Lily made an appearance, furthering this guy's impression that I literally had a house made of follicles.

It turned out I needed a whole 'nother person to come: a vent guy. The hair was so bad I had to get a whole new, you know, vent. And YES. I clean that lint thing each time. When you are Bernie on Room 222 with your hair, a few swipes in the lint tray are not gonna do it.

Honestly it's like these people must sit around waiting for good times such as these. Because Vent Guy was over before I could even put my afro pick back in my pocket.

"Oh, wow," he said, back near my vent.

"You know what you don't want to hear from your vent guy?" I wrote …friend. 'Oh, wow.'"

In the meantime, Edsel had his bedazzler out to add a "V" to his collar, because he has changed his name to Edsel Vent. If you thought he loved the DRYER guy, Vent Guy was like Rhett Butler swooping in to usurp Ashley Wilkes. There was no comparison.

"Dees is a nice dug," Vent Guy said. He had some kind of accent. You know all my accents sound Finnish. Vent Guy was Mediterranean, maybe? Hispanic? I don't know. All I know is my dog is taking him to the courthouse for a nice civil ceremony this weekend. They're getting a place on Fire Island this summer.

"Come loooook at dees, ma'am," said Vent Guy. Why do they always want to SHOW and EXPLAIN to you what's wrong? If I wanted to know from my vents I'd have gone to vent school. Just get the 95 pounds of hair out my dryer and be off with you.

Anyway I have a whole new hole in my house with a fancy vent that opens and closes instead of that old-fashioned metal thing that kind of looks like C-3PO, and yesterday I did a load of towels that took 50 minutes to dry.

FIFTY MINUTES! I feel how Ma Ingalls must have felt when she got new clothespins. It's all so high-tech.

He also gave me this giant brush that I have to stick in the dryer every three weeks to, you know, fish out the…hair.

Today the dogs, cats and I are going to a sheep farm somewhere and getting shorn.

June's stupid life · Music

I Got the Music in Me

First of all, Hulk went to visit Faithful Reader Joann last night.

How do you think that went?

Also, somehow last night on Facebook, where I spend entirely too much time even when I HAVE 900 PAGES LEFT to proofread, I got on the topic of my least-favorite song. And really, when I say I got on the topic, I did. I was kind of chatting with my own self. On Facebook. Who is the patheticest person alive? I mean, other than drunk Hulk up there.

For me it's I Got the Music in Me. I wish I could express to you how much I abhor that song. It makes me angry, that song. Because it is so terrible. Remember when Julie on —

Oh, crap. WHAT WAS THAT SHOW? With Valerie Bertinelli when she was cute. And annoying Bonnie Franklin being all pert. Oh for the love of all that is holy. WHAT IS IT CALLED?

ONE DAY AT A TIME! Oh, thank God. I was all, I know it's a stupid slogan. A Stitch in Time? The Facts of Life? Don't Breathe Under Water? Thank heavens and St. Joseph and all the children's aspirin I thought of it.

Of course I could've just Googled it.

Anyway. At one point Julie, aka Mackenzie Phillips, joined a band and sang I Got the Music in Me. I think I was about 10 and I was all, I want to slap myself with a concrete block. Please stop singing that song.

What about you? What song do you hate the most and why? Marvin was sure to stampede to the radio dial, because apparently I was married to him in 1971 with my radio dial, whenever Hotel California came on. Now when it comes on I listen to the whole thing even though I don't really like that song so much.


Okay, so tell me yours. And tell me why you hate it. I may have asked y'all this before but people come and go so quickly here. I hope the person who wrote I Got the Music in Me hasn't arrived.

Faithful Readers · June's stupid life


Do you love this song? I always forget I do till I hear it and then I say, Ooo, I love this song.


In other news–not that what songs I love isn't pressing, hard-hitting news–several faithful readers of this blog schlepped to Atlanta Airport yesterday to visit my old pal Hulk while he had a layover.

Snicker. I just said layover.

He and his daughter, Not Chloe, are headed to Disneyland. World. Whichever the eff is in Florida.

In all the years I lived in LA, I never went to Disneyland. World. Whatev. People always said, "Oh, June, you'll love it!" but the part where I am middle-aged and child-free made me think otherwise. Why the hell do I want to see a bunch of mascots running around a crowded park?

How did I get off on this tangent? Oh, Hulk. Laying over.

So Faithful Readers Fay, Beverly and her broken elbow (it's elbow, right? Who is a terrible listener? She broke something after a pedicure. Slipped on those shoddy slippers they give you), Tee,

Teehulk(here's Tee with her Hulk sign. She is a giant.)

and Sadie, who all live Atlantaish, decided to stop by the airport and say hi. As you do. Because what's more convenient than Atlanta airport?

They brought Chick-fil-A to the Hulk and his offspring, because in Fay's words, Hulk had a Chick-fil-A-sized hole in his soul and just didn't know it.

Now I am craving it, even though I am supposedly boycotting them over the gay marriage thing. Look, gay people, I really do want you to be able to get married. I mean, that is my opinion and I will support you on it to the end. But dang, Chick-fil-A is good. Can I go back there if I promise to get y'all everything on your registries?

Of course, they close on Sundays so even if I gave in and turned my back on the homosexuals I would get bupkis today.

At any rate, I am glad my readers could bring fried food to the Not Chloe. Everyone needs a little hydrogenated fat when they are growing.

While the fabulous event was happening, Faithful Reader and Email Pal in Real Life to Whom For Some Reason I Tell All About My Love Life Fay was emailing me and giving me a play-by-play, while I sat at the fireplace sweeping ashes or proofreading my 9 million pages.

I had airport envy. Plus, I wanted to see Not Chloe's reaction to all these strange women descending on her dad.

But she seemed to take it in stride. In the back are Sadie in green and Tee in stripes. There is Fay, waiting to hear more about my romantic entanglements. This is kind of how I picture her. In suspended animation at the other end of my computer. Anyway, next to her is BrokeArm Beverly, then Not Chloe and Not Hulk.

Note the plaid-ish shirt in the foreground. They all put it on and sent photos and I was enormously attracted to all of them for just that one moment.

Who amore themselves? Is it my faithful Atlanta readers?

Anyway, I'm glad it all went off as planned and that no one dragged Hulk off and married him, as women who read this blog seem to be wont to do.

Of course, dragging Hulk off and marrying him would be impossible, seeing as he is already betrothed to his mom.

June. Dragging out the 2009 jokes since 2012.

Friends · June's stupid life

Texts with Hulk: March Madness Edition

Yesterday on Facebook I mentioned what a rude prickly bitch the grieving process was. A couple hours later I got a text from Hulk.

HULK: What are we grieving about today? Not getting to see me tomorrow?

[I was supposed to go to Atlanta and see Hulk during his three-hour layover at the airport. But I have–wait for it–too much work to do. I was also supposed to spend the night at Miss Doxie's, where she said we were gonna "blow this shit up," whatever that entailed. I hate everything. I am Cinderella.]

JUNE: Yeah. There is a giant void in my life now.

HULK: Just weepy today?

JUNE: Oh, I watched a movie. Took place in LA. Lots of shots of Santa Monica Pier. Just too many reminders; I'll get over it. I mean, there's all that basketball to look forward to!

HULK: Were you watching Forrest Gump?

JUNE: Falling Down. No! It was an independent film. Am certain you were all over that. It's called Like Crazy. Google the trailer and weep.

HULK: I saw that…loved the symbolism.

JUNE: Oh, you did not. Did it have a magnificent otherness? Did you enjoy the negative space? And other pretentious things?

HULK: Negative space? I wouldn't know what that was if it hit me in the face with a shovel. Now, Die Hard. THAT was a movie…

JUNE: I don't know why it is I adore you so. I hope you're sitting down but I never saw Die Hard.

HULK: It was filmed in LA. Hey, the minor league baseball that we have here is the farm team of the LA Dodgers. It's all cyclical…

JUNE: I wouldn't know what a farm team was if it hit me in the face with a shovel.

HULK: That was funny. Way funnier than Crazy Horse or whatever.

JUNE: Are you watching fun sports tonight?

HULK: Yes. Watching hoop. Want to join me?

JUNE: Not unless there is a naked basketball player of color in the room as well.

HULK: Eww. No.

JUNE: Think I will stick with my original plan. Am going to dive bar with a guy from my old work. But he has to leave early to (wait for it) watch basketball. Sports. Cockblocking me since 2012.

[I took the picture because I so enjoyed the "everyday" thing, but then I went on to love "Paps" Blue Ribbon.]

HULK: Dive bar doesn't have a TV?

JUNE: It probably does, but I won't be IGNORED, Hulk.

HULK: Sorry…I was watching the pregame show. What, now?

Sighhh. I have no idea if Hulk won the "one large" he went on to text about. I hope you got your large…whatever, Hulk. And have a safe flight. Tell Sadie, Tee, Fay and so on I say hey when you meet them at the airport today! Hope there's no negative otherness.


Friends · June's stupid life · Proofreading/Copy editing

Here we are now. Entertain us.

I know this is a weird time for me to, you know, blog, but I did as much work as I could, then I did my Tracy Morgan or whoever DVD and THEN I did my TM, and now I really cannot work another moment. Really. I cannot.

I am doing TM now! Transcendental Meditation. It's not a religious thing or weird or anything, it's been around forever and all sorts of medical studies have revealed how good it is for you. You have to take a class to learn how to do it, but all told I have spent probably 10 hours learning and I already know how.

What's sad? Is I decided to take the classes THIS WEEK. Because I'm not BUSY OR ANYTHING. I've had to go in two hours each day this week for my classes. So I'm over there trying to feel all peaceful and the whole time I've been all, "I'LL NEVER GET MY WORK DONE! I'LL NEVER_____" Then I forget everything for 20 minutes because it is excellent meditation.

And that's all I'm gonna say about that. You aren't supposed to talk a lot about it. So click on the link if you want to learn more.

Photo on 3-22-12 at 10.51 PM #4
So when I am not at two with nature or whatever, I have been here. Working. Hanging with the prettiest cat you ever did meet, who looks DELIGHTED to be on the webcam. WHY DO THEY ALL ABHOR THE WEBCAM? WHY AM I SHOUTING SO MUCH TODAY? Aren't I supposed to be achieving Nirvana at this point? With the lights on, it's less dangerous.

Here we are now. Entertain us.

I love that song. Do you not love that song? I remember hearing it, in 1992, when I still lived in my home town. Where Hulk is. But I did not know Hulk at that point. I mean, I DID, as we went to high school together, but we were not in touch. This is all beside the point. The POINT is, I sat in the car and listened to the whole song. And I was all, "Who WAS that?" Because he just said "a mosquito, my libido" and I love him.


Sadly, I am now the age of the janitor in this video.

Speaking of old, but way more fun than the janitor with his mop, I have been back to hanging with my friend and neighbor Paul. He will be 97 four days after I turn 47. We are practically birthday twins. I was thinking I took this surreptitiously last night, but he said, "Oh, you just took a picture of me!" Okay, how did you KNOW that? You are 96. You should not know from iPhones.

He is delightful. Completely sharp. Full of stories. AND FROM TINY TOWN. Okay, the next town over. I am just saying. Once you've gone TinyTown you don't go back, apparently. It continues to haunt me.

Talu is excellent while we visit Uncle Paul. She just waits for us to shut up so we can continue our W. I like how I say "W" here like she can hear me.

Edsel, you will be stunned to hear, is a different story. Let go! Let go now mom let go! We not going? Okay Edzul pace. pace pace pace SNIFF UNKLE PAUL! pace.

Anyway. Paul has lived in this neighborhood for 50 years and has plenty of good gossip. When you hang on your glider all day you get a lot of guff.

Here we are now. Entertain us.

In other news, OH LOOK THERE'S SOME WORK, but also please note the NEW FANCY PEN my friend Dot sent me. And my Downton Abbey bookmark.

I need to carry that pen in my purse. Oh, let me just get out my subtle pen. Really if anyone ever said, "Who is June Gardens?" you could just show them this pen.

She also sent me my own little teacup piglet and…

97 boxes of Girl Scout cookies. Dot. An excellent friend to have. IF YOU WANT TO BE FAT FAT FAT.

See? Shouting again. Good meditating, June. Good job on the calmness.

Okay, am out. June, out. Out, damn June. You know what sounds good right now? A cookie.

June's stupid life · My pets · Photo essays

Winston’s peaceful existence. A thing of the past.

So now I have to drag out old posts to keep you amused. THERE IS A LOT OF WORK. I don't know if I've mentioned that. Anyway, here is May of 2010, when I still had my beloved wonderful Winston, and Henry was a bitty kitten.


Ahh, summer.


Hey, Winston! What doing? Henry here to say hi!

Why you crabby, Winston? Why you crabby? Henry here to cheer you up. Hi! Hi, Winston! Hi! Hi! Hi!

Hey, Winsfstonph! Numnumnum. I gotz yer tail! Numnumnumnum….

Where you goin'? Why grumpy?
…Henry sit in window now?

...friend/Ned · Books · June's stupid life · Pieces of Wisdom

Okay, SERIOUSLY no time today

Went to the BookUp again last night. May or may not have gone with …friend. May or may not have stayed out too late. May or may not have LOOMING DEADLINE.

This may or may not be my pal Jo at said BookUp. Who needs to stop saying "may or may not" about everything? May it or may it not be me?

So I will go. But someone in the coments yesterday came up with an interesting Pieces of Wisdom question and I am SORRY, dude, that I do not have time to go CULL the comments and see who said it. I may or may not have time.

Do you have any superstitions about money? For example, I never put my purse on the floor if I can help it because I heard you will never have money in your purse if you do that. And actually I never have money in my purse because I use my ATM card for everything. But when I DO have cash, I always face it in my wallet in the same direction, in number order. Suze Orman said to do that so I listened. I may or may not be relatively not flush. Still.

So what are yours? Do tell.

...friend/Ned · June's stupid life · Photo essays

June and Silent Blog Strike Back

In my quest to just show you pictures from my week in order to save time blogging so I can get my 394949339 pages of editing work done, I, you know, took a lot of pictures. Then this morning I went to upload them and could not find them and just spent 35 minutes with Apple Care.

June. Making her save-me-time blog take longer than ever before. And the guy I spoke to at Apple Care? Wow, what a personality on him! Who is over here assuming Mr. Apple Care has been laid approximately never? Who is over here assuming Mr. Apple Care might be familiar with Dungeons and Dragons or whatever nerdy thing is in with the nerd crowd these days?

Holy cats.

Anyway, Smoove Operator and I found the photos and I will share my Monday with you now. And man, will it ever be worth it.

100_1217I drove to my friend and Faithful Reader Laurie's house for lunch. Yes, she does live in a nicer neighborhood than I do.

100_1219Cute. She has plans to do all Easter things next. Laurie. Crafting since who knows when because I never ever join her.

100_1224We had lasagna soup. Dude, I know. I mean, when I picked her up at The Nester's party two years ago I really knew what I was doing.

100_1221Garlic bread. And my cankles.

After lunch, we went to the back yard because it was full of color and blooming things and snakes. Okay. We did not SEE a snake, but my theory is they're out there. Being all springy and hissy.

Laurie took senior pictures of me. All we needed was a wagon wheel and my floating head behind me.

100_1238"To a great girl I met in third hour. Good luck with the guys and never forget Mr. Mosca's class! Ha Ha! FF. June."

100_1225Then I kind of got a message from the universe that I had to go back home and work. Because that's what the universe is over there worried about. My deadlines.

IMG_0790It was a nice day, so I worked on my deck, with my coworkers Bark and Barkier, over there. Lu not bark. Maybe Pit Bull growl occayshunlee.

IMG_0796Eventually I slapped leashes around the snouts of my coworkers and lead them down the street with leashes. You can see how well I "lead" them, with them out in front of me.

Then I got an email. Remember that place where I interviewed last month? And I was in their top four? I didn't get the job. I am totally Pete Best. Also, I suck.

I felt pretty bad, so I decided I had better get out the house. I went to a coffee shop to do my work there so I would not sit here and hate my own self, and then like an idiot emailed a …friend because the coffee shop was near his place. "If you get time, come say hi!" I said.

IMG_0801June. Talking to …friend for two hours when she should have been working. Also, I realize …friend is totally wearing a Marvin shirt.

6a00e54f9367fb88340133f17f378f970b-800wiClearly I have a type. I know I could have found a photo of Marvin in a shirt EXACTLY LIKE …friend's. But dudes. THIRTY-FIVE MINUTES with Apple Care. And did I mention my workload?

Anyway. Eventually I came home and worked into the night.

IMG_0802With my other coworkers. Note that job candle mocking me. "You will never get a job, Joooooon! You suck, Joooooon!" I don't know why St. Joseph talks like a ghost.

Okay, that's all.

June's stupid life · Photo essays

June the Mime Continues Her Wordless-ish Blog

YoubetterworkYesterday I mostly worked.

IMG_0772Someone took advantage of my distractedness to do the forbidden.

KickemwhentheyreupkickemwhentheyredownLaundry. The dining room table is a lovely place to neatly store it. And a statistics textbook that needs mailed.

IMG_0777Got glared at.

Talked to Dick Whitman on phone. "Hey! Send me pictures you took on your birthday!" So he did. THAT PUPPY WAS A MUFFIN.

That's it. Sunday. Not what you'd call riveting.

June's stupid life

Wordless (mostly) Week–my Saturday

Have lost nine pounds since starting Dick Tracy or whoever. Nine fewer pounds of June to love. Or sniff.

My Sirius Radio plays America's Top 40 on Saturdays, from the current week, but in the '70s. This week they played America's Top 40 from March 17, 1979. Yes! Totally heard Poco.

(Video is killing me dead.)

Knew I was gonna be out late, so…


Photo on 3-17-12 at 4.20 PM #3
4:30 p.m.

Photo on 3-18-12 at 12.35 AM #212:35 a.m. After a Shamrock Shake.

June's stupid life · Photo essays

Wordless Week June

Dudes. You have no idea how much work I have to do. Which is good, right? I have had one day with no work to do since I got laid off, and yay. I am glad. Hey, maybe it's that damn job candle.

But Faithful Reader LaUral sent me 700 pages of stuff, and I was in the middle of a statistics textbook, as I am wont to be, so now I have all this mess to do. Plus my old workplace (two layoffs ago. Not the last layoff. Hate.) asked me to come back and freelance for a spell.

And that, my dear friends, is why we are gonna have Wordless Week June here at Bye Bye to the Pie. Every day I will try to at least have the 10 minutes to download a photo, upload it here, and hit "Publish." This means I have to try to find something interesting to photograph when in reality I will be looking down at a page, but I'll do my best.

Here are some photos for today.

I'm a little cranky.

IMG_0740It's colorful at my yard.

IMG_0739Currently rabbits, squirrels and chipmunks back there. They need Back Yard Anonymous at this point.

"I Tallulah, and I addict to back yard."

"Hiiii, Tallulah."

"Hi! Hi! Hello! I Edzul! Why we heer? Let go to back yard!"

"Hiiii, Edsel."

Okay, leaving.

Friends · June's stupid life · Travel

June avoids

Sometimes I sit here at my blank screen, and so desperately want to prattle on about what's really going on, but to protect the privacy of those around me I cannot. This is one of those times.

So in the meantime I will say that I am going to the Outer Banks in two weeks! Wooooo! In case you are not from here, and most of you are not because I have the Google Analytics and I know ALL ABOUT YOU, the Outer Banks are the, you know, banks outside of North Carolina. You have to take a big pretty bridge to get over there. And it's all beachy and such. I went there with Sleeping Beauty two summers ago and Sandy and her husband this past summer. I brought Sandy to the beach! Bah!

6a00e54f9367fb8834014e8ab50dab970d-800wiAnyway, Sleeping Beauty just asked me if I want to join her, her new squishy baby and her man, who I don't know if he's squishy or not because I am not a terrible friend. Oh, and her dog Puck, who is decidedly also squishy. He is a Lab. Do you think he'll enjoy the beach at all? They're pretty indifferent to water.

Once when Talu was still a pup I took her to the lake when my mother still had a place there. And could she have been more iffy about water? She kind of…waded in with all the enthusiasm of Katy Perry in a library. Talu. Not a water dog.

I have no idea what Edsel would do around water. He has Irish setter in him. Do they like water? Anyway it's irrelevant because neither dog is coming along. They get to enjoy the Outer Daycare.

So that'll be fun. I haven't seen Sleeping Beauty since her baby shower last spring. I drove to DC for it, remember?

My gift was the green and purple bag. I got her all breastfeeding-related things, and a onsey that reads, "I suck." Adored myself.

Now I have to go. I am still overwhelmed with the freelance work, which is good, but I am working 9 or 10 hours a day and am still behind. After the 10th hour, your proofreading skillz are not what you'd call up to par.

Is anyone doing anything riveting this weekend?