Catch you on the flip side, Davy. Oh. Also? Tallulalina Jowlie.

In the past 24 hours, Iris slept on my head, Edsel bit me, and poor Davy Jones died. Who gets his locker?

I liked Davy Jones. I mean, didn't we all? And one of my fancy LA friends just told a story about him, on Facebook, and the gist of it is he was a lovely person. Of course, we already knew that.

 

What. You thought I WOULDN'T put in a You Tube clip today? I practically AM YouTube by now. YouJune. Anyway, once he took Marcia to prom we all knew he was a good guy.

Oh, and Edsel didn't mean to bite me. We were playing with his stupid toy that if you ask me resembles a marital aid, and we were tugging-of-waring, which is a fine phrase, and his ludicrous teefs came down on my finger instead of the toy. "OWWWOWOWOWWWWwwwwww!" I said, and he was mortified. He kept pushing his luggish head into mine and wagging furiously, so I'd know how sorry he was. Then he groaned over to his sensitive chair and started at me for 70 hours, like he does.

…I just spent an inordinate amount of time looking for a photo of Eds in his sensitive chair,

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and you know what I should do? Is somehow organize my photos on this computer. Anyway, my Mac has a fabulous feature called "Faces" that just shows you, you know, faces, and I got interested in looking at that, and I found a lovely photo of my pal Miss Doxie.

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Even though she's this annoyingly pretty–and I was with her that day and all she basically did was shower, throw on a little lipstick and go–you can't help but like her. Mostly because she sends me stuff like this:

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Would I still be able to love Tallulah if she grew an Angelina Jolie leg? Tallulalina Jowlie.

Anyway.

Oh, and I went to lunch with my …friend yesterday.

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We had Vietnamese food. Yes, I did drag out my tired old joke about Agent Orange chicken.

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The place had everything. Marvelous decor,

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in-proportion disco balls,

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lots of food.

This leaf is from the collection of weird leafy things …friend put in his soup. He ordered an enormous bowl of soup, then said, "I come here quite often. It's a break from the boring soup and salad I usually get at lunch."

"But you're …eating soup. With leafy salad-y things in it," I pointed out.

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It was then that I turned to the literature and read that.

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I parked right here under this sign, and you can imagine how this did not bother me at all. "Walk in is." Or perhaps the "in" owns something. Not the walk-ins, though, because there is no hyphen to connect walk-in. Really the whole sign gave me a hive. I wish people would call me before they spend money on signs. Did I ever tell you about the place I drove past EVERY NIGHT in LA that said, "Eyebrown Wax"? Or what about the other place, that sold "stuffanimal"?

It is hard to be me.

Somehow during lunch, I mentioned the fact that I had gotten a perm in the '80s and afterwards I emailed this fine photo to …friend.

6a00e54f9367fb88340133ecf7216a970b-800wiWhat hair? Thanks, loved ones, for warning me not to get a perm.

I had better slip on my turquoise loafers and get started with my day. Some idiot felon-looking person already came to my door and asked if I wanted an estimate re my trees. It was 9 a.m.! Rude. And he did the thing where he rang the doorbell, then knocked insistently, as though he had something crucial to tell me. You can imagine how this pleased the dogs.

I was in my robe, and I am telling you he gave me the once-over. THE ONCE-OVER! While disturbing me at the early early hour of 9:00 in my very own home! Guess who did not say sure, give me that estimate. Perv.

Catch you on the flip side.

142 thoughts on “Catch you on the flip side, Davy. Oh. Also? Tallulalina Jowlie.

  1. Amish Annie/Paul Lordy in Heaven, they were in for a ruuuuuude awakening. I would have paid money to be a fly on the porch of some of my neighbors. No disrespect to SDA, just sayin' says:

    I live out here in Amish/Mennonite land. I feel odd sometimes just being a practicing Lutheran out here. Anyway, if you can believe, sure enough, two nicely dressed young men showed up at the back door wanting to spread the word…is it Seventh Day Adventist?…I forget. Anyway, Stud Muffin asked them if they knew they were in a large, strongly conservative Mennonite area. They said yes but they were bound to run into some folks who wanted to hear the word of God.

    Like

  2. door knockers, solicitors… etc. Keep a tube of Preparation H near the front door. When they knock and tell you their thing, just say as you grab the tube “I was just applying my hemaroid cream (reach for your belt line), would you help me?”
    They skeedadle… I used to ask Mormons if they would like a hit off my bong and a coke.

    Like

  3. door knockers, solicitors… etc. Keep a tube of Preparation H near the front door. When they knock and tell you their thing, just say as you grab the tube “I was just applying my hemaroid cream (reach for your belt line), would you help me?”
    They skeedadle… I used to ask Mormons if they would like a hit off my bong and a coke.

    Like

  4. door knockers, solicitors… etc. Keep a tube of Preparation H near the front door. When they knock and tell you their thing, just say as you grab the tube “I was just applying my hemaroid cream (reach for your belt line), would you help me?”
    They skeedadle… I used to ask Mormons if they would like a hit off my bong and a coke.

    Like

  5. Peter, who swears by the Scandanavian Jesus, Lord of Heavenly Hostess Twinkies, that he was kidding. says:

    Letha, I do hope you know that I didn’t actually think you were bitchy. Bitchin’, most definitely. But not bitchy.

    Like

  6. Cosmo’s Dad-the Preparation H is too funny!! I had two elderly people with German accents show up at 8 o’freaking clock wanting Monday morning wanting to talk about current events as they related to the Bible. I slammed the door in their face. I’m not friendly when you wake me and the kiddoes up. They are lucky I didn’t throw a cast iron skillet at their heads!

    Like

  7. Amish Annie/Paul Twinkie addict, must stay away, Twinkies bad. Oh heck who am I kidding, Twinkies are guuuuuuddd! says:

    I hope they never phase Twinkies out. They’re almost as good today as they were thirty years ago.

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  8. AA/AP, that’s because the Twinkies they’re selling today were made thirty years ago.

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  9. Okay….so this waiting is *kind of* nerve-wracking. So they called you to tell you that you were still in the running. No second interview. I guess that’s nice?….but there’s nothing you can do to help your cause. Wait…Prayer, June. Prayer!
    Amish Annie….another Lutheran here!

    Like

  10. Okay….so this waiting is *kind of* nerve-wracking. So they called you to tell you that you were still in the running. No second interview. I guess that’s nice?….but there’s nothing you can do to help your cause. Wait…Prayer, June. Prayer!
    Amish Annie….another Lutheran here!

    Like

  11. Okay….so this waiting is *kind of* nerve-wracking. So they called you to tell you that you were still in the running. No second interview. I guess that’s nice?….but there’s nothing you can do to help your cause. Wait…Prayer, June. Prayer!
    Amish Annie….another Lutheran here!

    Like

  12. Best of luck, June.
    Sorry about the bite…..been there, done that.
    One of my cats sleeps on my lap as I recline in the recliner. I accidentally closed her tail in the seam between the footrest and the body of the chair and she bit my leg to the bone in her terror and panic…..well, really, who wouldn’t have bitten me in that situation?
    The urgent care is literally 5 minutes from my house……..I got a tetanus shot, antibiotics in my buttal region, and a filled prescription and was home in less than 30 minutes from the time of the biting incident. My cat greeted me like nothing had happened. My leg ached like a son of a gun for a week.
    The vet said that cat needed nothing for her exposure to my blood. Go figure.

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  13. A friend of mine-who could see his doorstep from a side window- stripped down before opening the door when he had Jehovahs Witnesses knock one day. They made a very hasty retreat and he never had another visit-Ha!
    Shaking my pompoms along with the other Pie cheerleaders, June-Good luck!
    Cosmo’s Dad, you look especially fetching-

    Like

  14. Does Doxie have a new blog address? I stopped reading when she was overrun with spam. I too dislike people who knock on my door, so I just don’t answer (after I look to see who it is). I just drove through a narrow alley with a big ass truck parked to the side and I scratched up the other side of my car on a pole. MF. Not worth reporting to insurance, so I’ll probably pay out of pocket. I am sad about Davy Jones, riding the last train to Clarksville.

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  15. QueenStella-
    Miss D still has the same site but took out comments, due to the spam-
    She’s on Facebook and posts fairly often, so you can leave comments there.
    Guess we’re the only late-nighters!!

    Like

  16. Oh dear Lawdy Mary Lou, that is HEEliarous! I may have to remember to peek out the window and strip down, because these Jehova’s must have me on some list-they stop here at least once a month!!

    Like

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