Texts with Hulk: March Madness Edition

Yesterday on Facebook I mentioned what a rude prickly bitch the grieving process was. A couple hours later I got a text from Hulk.

HULK: What are we grieving about today? Not getting to see me tomorrow?

[I was supposed to go to Atlanta and see Hulk during his three-hour layover at the airport. But I have–wait for it–too much work to do. I was also supposed to spend the night at Miss Doxie's, where she said we were gonna "blow this shit up," whatever that entailed. I hate everything. I am Cinderella.]

JUNE: Yeah. There is a giant void in my life now.

HULK: Just weepy today?

JUNE: Oh, I watched a movie. Took place in LA. Lots of shots of Santa Monica Pier. Just too many reminders; I'll get over it. I mean, there's all that basketball to look forward to!

HULK: Were you watching Forrest Gump?

JUNE: Falling Down. No! It was an independent film. Am certain you were all over that. It's called Like Crazy. Google the trailer and weep.

HULK: I saw that…loved the symbolism.

JUNE: Oh, you did not. Did it have a magnificent otherness? Did you enjoy the negative space? And other pretentious things?

HULK: Negative space? I wouldn't know what that was if it hit me in the face with a shovel. Now, Die Hard. THAT was a movie…

JUNE: I don't know why it is I adore you so. I hope you're sitting down but I never saw Die Hard.

HULK: It was filmed in LA. Hey, the minor league baseball that we have here is the farm team of the LA Dodgers. It's all cyclical…

JUNE: I wouldn't know what a farm team was if it hit me in the face with a shovel.

HULK: That was funny. Way funnier than Crazy Horse or whatever.

JUNE: Are you watching fun sports tonight?

HULK: Yes. Watching hoop. Want to join me?

JUNE: Not unless there is a naked basketball player of color in the room as well.

HULK: Eww. No.

JUNE: Think I will stick with my original plan. Am going to dive bar with a guy from my old work. But he has to leave early to (wait for it) watch basketball. Sports. Cockblocking me since 2012.

IMG_0836
[I took the picture because I so enjoyed the "everyday" thing, but then I went on to love "Paps" Blue Ribbon.]

HULK: Dive bar doesn't have a TV?

JUNE: It probably does, but I won't be IGNORED, Hulk.

HULK: Sorry…I was watching the pregame show. What, now?

Sighhh. I have no idea if Hulk won the "one large" he went on to text about. I hope you got your large…whatever, Hulk. And have a safe flight. Tell Sadie, Tee, Fay and so on I say hey when you meet them at the airport today! Hope there's no negative otherness.

 

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Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

84 thoughts on “Texts with Hulk: March Madness Edition”

  1. Friends like Hulk are priceless. They know all your shit and love you anyway. I have a Hulk named Steve, I don’t know what I would do without him.
    Here is some advice, unsolicited, the best kind! Work hard today and don’t piss it away because then you will kick yourself for not working AND not going to Atlanta. I know how this works because I am a champion day pisser-awayer whose ass is black and blue from all the kicking of myself.
    Now, off to piss my day away with my friends when I should be cleaning my house because my sister is coming in 4 days.

    Like

  2. Paps! There is a real sign right next to it too. Must of had one too many when they wrote it. Love the exchange between you and Hulk. You are lucky to have him.
    The movie looks like a roller coaster of emotions. Stay away from those types for now and find something pee your pants funny. Have you seen The Birdcage yet?

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  3. Your texts are so funny. Sorry you have to miss the par-tay, June. Also too, wish I could help you with all your work. I did a lot of proofreading as part of my job before I retired.

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  4. Die Hard is a GREAT MOVIE!!! A CLASSIC. And, JUNE, very quotable.
    I recently heard that March (and September, so, mark your calendar) are especially hard months for those who are grieving/depressed.

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  5. Hee! I love every episode of June and Hulk, wherever one may turn up.
    I have that movie on my list! I think I saw the preview when we were watching another indy or indie film.
    Sometimes you just have to be a weepy grownup. But it’ll pass.

    Like

  6. Who needs Henry and June when you have Hulk and June?

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  7. Hulk should offer a texting service to keep us company. Boy would he be busy. Everybody should have a Hulkey friend. Love that guy.

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  8. Amish Annie/Paul did love the original Die Hard but only the original, I can rmember seeing it in the theater, there was tons of buzz around that movie even before it opened up says:

    As a faithful reader who has not had time to go back and look in the archives yet, think you’ll ever want to move back? In many situations, I often wonder if I miss the place or miss the memories; I’m a linear person so that abstracty kind of stuff is always fuzzy for me.

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  9. Amish Annie/Paul did love the original Die Hard but only the original, I can rmember seeing it in the theater, there was tons of buzz around that movie even before it opened up says:

    As a faithful reader who has not had time to go back and look in the archives yet, think you’ll ever want to move back? In many situations, I often wonder if I miss the place or miss the memories; I’m a linear person so that abstracty kind of stuff is always fuzzy for me.

    Like

  10. Amish Annie/Paul did love the original Die Hard but only the original, I can rmember seeing it in the theater, there was tons of buzz around that movie even before it opened up says:

    As a faithful reader who has not had time to go back and look in the archives yet, think you’ll ever want to move back? In many situations, I often wonder if I miss the place or miss the memories; I’m a linear person so that abstracty kind of stuff is always fuzzy for me.

    Like

  11. Die Hard is a great movie and Bruce Willis is cutie cute! You know, in a manly, beat-up, limping, yet still fighting HOT sort of way.
    I’m sorry you’re bummed, Joon. You’ll get through it. And STOP watching movies about ferris wheels!

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  12. Die Hard is a great movie and Bruce Willis is cutie cute! You know, in a manly, beat-up, limping, yet still fighting HOT sort of way.
    I’m sorry you’re bummed, Joon. You’ll get through it. And STOP watching movies about ferris wheels!

    Like

  13. Die Hard is a great movie and Bruce Willis is cutie cute! You know, in a manly, beat-up, limping, yet still fighting HOT sort of way.
    I’m sorry you’re bummed, Joon. You’ll get through it. And STOP watching movies about ferris wheels!

    Like

  14. I would never move back to LA. First of all, the whole time I lived there I was engaged or married to Marvin, so the memories would kill me. And two, who wants to be single and 46 in LA? Are you kidding? Also? Costly. Too costly.

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  15. Hulk (I am out of the running for the one large...THANKS MSU! June's alma mater. Screwing Hulk since Thursday...) says:

    Not Chloe and I are at the airport in MI…
    Man. There is ugly, and then there are airport people…

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  16. Hulk (I am out of the running for the one large...THANKS MSU! June's alma mater. Screwing Hulk since Thursday...) says:

    Not Chloe and I are at the airport in MI…
    Man. There is ugly, and then there are airport people…

    Like

  17. Hulk (I am out of the running for the one large...THANKS MSU! June's alma mater. Screwing Hulk since Thursday...) says:

    Not Chloe and I are at the airport in MI…
    Man. There is ugly, and then there are airport people…

    Like

  18. Dear Cosmo’s Dad,
    Santa Barbara is more expensive than most places in LA! In fact, Napa is less expensive than St Babs.
    I know what you mean by not going back to LA June. We have great friends in Pasadena who would love us to move back there. But we could never have the dough to get into the housing market like we can here in No Cal. And besides, it would never be the same.

    Like

  19. “What a rude prickly bitch the grieving process is”……..
    Amen, June. I’ve been grieving for five effing years. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. One day at a time, girl.

    Like

  20. “What a rude prickly bitch the grieving process is”……..
    Amen, June. I’ve been grieving for five effing years. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. One day at a time, girl.

    Like

  21. “What a rude prickly bitch the grieving process is”……..
    Amen, June. I’ve been grieving for five effing years. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. One day at a time, girl.

    Like

  22. Just think, in a few hours there will be BBP airport people! Wonder if we all change as soon as we pass through the doors.
    It is a beautiful day in Atlanta. What a hoot it would have been if Tammi V.V. had flown through our airport today, too. We could have our very own BBP fly-in.
    Wish you were here, June, but I know you’d rather be with …friend. Have a great and productive weekend. I’m jealous of your upcoming beach trip.

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  23. On a lighter note, it’s been great fun watching everybody coordinate THE GREAT AIRPORT MEETING with Hulk and Not Chloe. BBP Peeps. Putting the romanticism back into airports since March 2012.

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  24. On a lighter note, it’s been great fun watching everybody coordinate THE GREAT AIRPORT MEETING with Hulk and Not Chloe. BBP Peeps. Putting the romanticism back into airports since March 2012.

    Like

  25. On a lighter note, it’s been great fun watching everybody coordinate THE GREAT AIRPORT MEETING with Hulk and Not Chloe. BBP Peeps. Putting the romanticism back into airports since March 2012.

    Like

  26. Who is going to be posting Airport Pictures for all to see?

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  27. Who is going to be posting Airport Pictures for all to see?

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  28. Who is going to be posting Airport Pictures for all to see?

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  29. If you and Hulk and your relationship and witty text banter were made into a movie, it would be hugely successful, I just know it.
    Hope all of you in Atlanta have a great time– hope Hulk and Not Chloe have fun on vacation– hope June has a great time with …friend!

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  30. Die Hard is in our Top Five Christmas Movie List. I get to see Bruce Willis at least once every year right after Christmas Vacation and before Love, actually.
    Bruce Willis is the Man.
    p.s. Atlanta airport peeps, have a great time with Hulk and not-Chloe! Take loads of pics and send them to June.
    p.p.s. OJ, you do the same when you see H & N-C, take some pics!!

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  31. June, I’d never begrudge you some freelance work or some … friend time! ๐Ÿ™‚ Atlanta ain’t too far and I’m sure you’ll have occasion to get down here again soon.
    Oh god… pictures! I guess there’ll be pictures. Must apply mascara now. Also purge.

    Like

  32. Avoid those movies that bring up all the memories and hurt. Find something funny. Since Hubby’s accident we have been watching old sitcoms to keep our spirits up.
    Hulk, the airport people are part of the fun of traveling. I have a friend that travels a lot and she always calls me from the airport and describes the people she is watching. Then you will be able to watch all of us when we arrive. See you in a while.
    Junie, so glad you have all that work, but so sad you are going to miss the party.

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  33. First, y’all MUST take pics at the airport. Not Chloe certainly will think everyone is weird, but she’s supposed to think that at this age.
    Eleventyth, Die Hard has Alan Rickman. ALAN. RICKMAN. Sexy, sexy, sexy! Want him very badly. He could announce a sports event and I would be riveted. And lusting.
    N) June: Get yo’ ass back to work! Tick-tock, my dear…
    ^&) To keep you company, I’m at the office printing out approximately 450 pages of my other project. That I have to do in addition to entering all your corrections. So I feel your pain, but I don’t have a date to look forward to. Alas.

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  34. Deb who thinks June will feel way less blue tonight and when she gets a check for all this crazy work. says:

    Pabs Blue Ribbon. I never won anything from my gynecologist.
    And where do comments go when they don’t post even though it says they do?

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  35. Deb who thinks June will feel way less blue tonight and when she gets a check for all this crazy work. says:

    Paps…. oy. Maybe better they don’t post.

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  36. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! The penguins! So cute! And you can switch to watching them swim!!! ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

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  37. I don’t do Facebook, either, so hope the photos are on the blog, June. Glad to hear I’m not the only one, Tee.

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  38. Y’all, it was awesome. Not Chloe is adorable and totally not shy, and Hulk is gigantic and engaging. Tee and Sadie and Beverly are cutie patooties. We had a lovely little meeting!

    Like

  39. Y’all, it was awesome. Not Chloe is adorable and totally not shy, and Hulk is gigantic and engaging. Tee and Sadie and Beverly are cutie patooties. We had a lovely little meeting!

    Like

  40. Y’all, it was awesome. Not Chloe is adorable and totally not shy, and Hulk is gigantic and engaging. Tee and Sadie and Beverly are cutie patooties. We had a lovely little meeting!

    Like

  41. Photos just e-mailed to June, Sadie, Beverly and Fay. We had a great time. I guess June is out on her hot date with …Friend.

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  42. Can’t wait to see the pics!
    I used to date a guy that looked like Bruce in his Moonlighting days. They called us Maddie and David.
    But Alan Rickman in Die hard. Yum.OH!
    Oh and take a pic of … – random body part please so I can start the Frankenfriend pic.

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  43. Nice game. Go Buckeyes. Had you arrived somewhere you could see it, Hulk?

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  44. Sadie, Beverly, Tee, and Fay. Thanks you guys! You are all super sweet and awesome! Not Chloe and I had a blast meeting y’all. Look! I’m saying “y’all”!

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  45. Oh yeah, Mrs. Oh….Moonlighting was a great show. We never missed it. I was pregnant at the time and we considered the name Maddie if said baby was a girl.
    Where are the pictures, Airport People?????

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  46. Oh yeah, Mrs. Oh….Moonlighting was a great show. We never missed it. I was pregnant at the time and we considered the name Maddie if said baby was a girl.
    Where are the pictures, Airport People?????

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  47. Oh yeah, Mrs. Oh….Moonlighting was a great show. We never missed it. I was pregnant at the time and we considered the name Maddie if said baby was a girl.
    Where are the pictures, Airport People?????

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  48. Both you prissies need to go back to your castles and huts and sweep a floor. Hulkie needs a REAL woman.

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  49. I sent all my pics to June! And Tee, I commented on your blog again… you could also just tell June to forward to me maybe? Don’t know why you’d be getting bounce-backs. Stupid computers.

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  50. I’m late checking in, but we had such fun at the airport meeting each other and Hulk and Not Chloe. Everyone was terrific even if Hulk and Not Chloe wondered about us. Tee even asked a Georgia Tech graduate and his father to group shots of us.
    On the way home from the airport, I stopped for some celebratory shopping in honor of Karen in VA’s birthday…if grocery shopping is considered celebratory. Then home for dinner and a movie date with Mr. Sadie…from the comfort of our den. (All of the…are in honor of June’s date tonight with…friend.)
    June, I know you did not miss the Atlanta trip because of your date. I just wanted you to feel better about missing Airportapalooza due to all of your work.

    Like

  51. I’m late checking in, but we had such fun at the airport meeting each other and Hulk and Not Chloe. Everyone was terrific even if Hulk and Not Chloe wondered about us. Tee even asked a Georgia Tech graduate and his father to group shots of us.
    On the way home from the airport, I stopped for some celebratory shopping in honor of Karen in VA’s birthday…if grocery shopping is considered celebratory. Then home for dinner and a movie date with Mr. Sadie…from the comfort of our den. (All of the…are in honor of June’s date tonight with…friend.)
    June, I know you did not miss the Atlanta trip because of your date. I just wanted you to feel better about missing Airportapalooza due to all of your work.

    Like

  52. I’m late checking in, but we had such fun at the airport meeting each other and Hulk and Not Chloe. Everyone was terrific even if Hulk and Not Chloe wondered about us. Tee even asked a Georgia Tech graduate and his father to group shots of us.
    On the way home from the airport, I stopped for some celebratory shopping in honor of Karen in VA’s birthday…if grocery shopping is considered celebratory. Then home for dinner and a movie date with Mr. Sadie…from the comfort of our den. (All of the…are in honor of June’s date tonight with…friend.)
    June, I know you did not miss the Atlanta trip because of your date. I just wanted you to feel better about missing Airportapalooza due to all of your work.

    Like

  53. : : Garden Girl : : Can't believe June's real life date takes precedence over blog updates. I am sooo old. How do you know when you don't get out enough and are living a little-too-much vicarously through others?....oh, wait... says:

    Oh, Sadie, so glad it was fun. Virtual friends are now real-life friends.
    Now…..*tapping foot impatiently*….I’m holding my breath until we see some pictures, June!

    Like

  54. : : Garden Girl : : Can't believe June's real life date takes precedence over blog updates. I am sooo old. How do you know when you don't get out enough and are living a little-too-much vicarously through others?....oh, wait... says:

    Oh, Sadie, so glad it was fun. Virtual friends are now real-life friends.
    Now…..*tapping foot impatiently*….I’m holding my breath until we see some pictures, June!

    Like

  55. : : Garden Girl : : Can't believe June's real life date takes precedence over blog updates. I am sooo old. How do you know when you don't get out enough and are living a little-too-much vicarously through others?....oh, wait... says:

    Oh, Sadie, so glad it was fun. Virtual friends are now real-life friends.
    Now…..*tapping foot impatiently*….I’m holding my breath until we see some pictures, June!

    Like

  56. I saw Like Crazy months ago at the artsy-fartsy theater downtown in Denver and I’m still haunted by it and his face at the end. The minute it ended, I looked over at my 16YO daughter and she announced, I’m crying!! I know we’ve moved on to Hulk at the airport, but seriously, I loved that movie.

    Like

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