Where the hell’s my chocolate bunny? MOM? Yes, I am 46.

I actually do not want a chocolate bunny, as I am continuing to attempt thin-ity.

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Yesterday was a perfect day to achieve thin-ity–and how soon do you hope I give up saying "thin-ity"?–because I got a migraine. I know I posted yesterday and was all perky-sounding, but as I was typing I was thinking, gee, I feel kind of miserable. Am I getting a migraine? And sure enough. This lovely photo with Nurse Iris was taken at about 2:00 in the afternoon. I was in bed all day.

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Lily just walked across the keyboard. Perhaps that is a message to all your cats. You should go get them and let them read it.

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Eventually I dragged my sick arse out of the bed, because it was an absolutely beautiful day and no one is allowed to be sick when it's nice out. Here I am in front of a coffee shop, waiting for Dick Whitman to get out the bathroom.

Yes, I saw Dick Whitman again. We had dinner. Rather, I had dinner and he drank wine like the total Richard Burton, Dudley Moore, David Hasselhoff drunk that he is. Actually, Dick Whitman is so not a drunk. But he wasn't hungry yet and I was effing starved, having laid in bed not eating all day.

At one point in the day I got up, retrieved a sleeve of carmel Girl Scout cookies from the freezer (see above re thin-ity), then forgot about them, only to find an empty sleeve of Girl Scout ghost cookies a few minutes later and I HOPE YOUR ASS GETS EFFING FAT, TALLULAH. I HOPE YOU BA-DONK-A-DONK SO BAD EVEN THE PUGGLE ON OUR WALKS NO LONGER WANTS YOU.

Photo 2I had Pellegrino with dinner, to soothe my roiling insides. And look! They put gems on the Pellegrino bottle! It's so pretty!!

BottleSee? It was so lovely I saved both bottles. I have no idea what Ima do with them. Please note Dick Whitman is taking a picture of me taking this picture. Drunk.

Anyway I had to stand up Jo yesterday for our Easter-egg coloring, and she sent me a picture of how pretty her eggs were and I hate everything. I hate my head.

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Look at her signature glasses right there by her eggs. She didn't just take her eggs on the road with her–we were supposed to go to this whole event where they give you wax and colors and so on, and here she is getting a drink after with the friend who DIDN'T stand her up.

God, what a bunch of boozers I hang with. Really, she is less of a drunk than Dick Whitman. But who isn't?

June. Getting sued by her friends for slander since 2012.

I had better go, because …friend and I are going to the movies and if he saw how delightful I look right now, he would turn to drink. Maybe he could borrow some fifths of whiskey from Dick Whitman.

Oh! Happy Easter, y'all! Unless you are Jewish. In which case have a good, you know, Sunday!

45 thoughts on “Where the hell’s my chocolate bunny? MOM? Yes, I am 46.

  1. Happy, happy Easter, June! Maybe …friend with bring you a chocolate bunny or some marshmallow peeps.
    Those eggs just gave me an inferiority complex!
    In case I haven’t mentioned it, I love Dick Whitman. Even if he is a drunk. I love him. I want a friend just like him. I might just move to NC and become your single white female friend. Except you can keep the migraines.

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  2. Happy Easter! I would have saved the bejeweled bottles too. They will integrate nicely with many wardrobe ensembles. Or make snazzy bud vases.

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  3. Uh. I just thought it looked a little squinty. NO eyeball? You need to buy her a fake eyeball. A marble. An eyeball candy. A pair of glasses where the eyeballs are on springs. A pirate patch. With a parrot and wooden leg. A blond wig and she can Veronica Lake the eye problem.

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  4. Happy Easter to all of you! We’re on a little vacation in New York City and it’s lovely here. Tulips are everywhere! Paula, I’ve been looking for you. I figured I could find you in this small one-light town. Ha!
    Furry made me laugh with her rock-rolling good wishes.

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  5. : : Garden Girl : : Tallulah, Garden Girl is soooo disappointed in you. When Mom doesn't feel good, *nobody* touches her GS cookies! says:

    Happy Easter, June and BBP folks!

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  6. : : Garden Girl : : Tallulah, Garden Girl is soooo disappointed in you. When Mom doesn't feel good, *nobody* touches her GS cookies! says:

    Happy Easter, June and BBP folks!

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  7. : : Garden Girl : : Tallulah, Garden Girl is soooo disappointed in you. When Mom doesn't feel good, *nobody* touches her GS cookies! says:

    Happy Easter, June and BBP folks!

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  8. Eggstra special drinking that fancy eyetalian fizzy water.

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  9. Eggstra special drinking that fancy eyetalian fizzy water.

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  10. Eggstra special drinking that fancy eyetalian fizzy water.

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  11. Happy Easter, June and her Peeps! Jo’s colored eggs are amazing and I’m sorry you missed out on it, June, so I’ll share this with you:
    All I need to know I learned from the Easter Bunny!
    Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.
    Everyone needs a friend who is all ears.
    There’s no such thing as too much candy.
    All work and no play can make you a basket case.
    A cute tail attracts a lot of attention.
    Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day.
    Let happy thoughts multiply like rabbits.
    Some body parts should be floppy.
    Keep your paws off of other people’s jelly beans. (Tallulah, this means you!)
    Good things come in small, sugar coated packages.
    The grass is always greener in someone else’s basket.

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  12. Happy Easter!
    I’m enjoying my last day in MI (Hi Hulk! Hi June’s Mother!), before my travels to TN, GA & FL… I hope everyone is warmer than us!

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  13. Happy Easter!
    I’m enjoying my last day in MI (Hi Hulk! Hi June’s Mother!), before my travels to TN, GA & FL… I hope everyone is warmer than us!

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  14. Happy Easter!
    I’m enjoying my last day in MI (Hi Hulk! Hi June’s Mother!), before my travels to TN, GA & FL… I hope everyone is warmer than us!

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  15. I am not a big Peeps person. I do love chocolate, though. And my in-laws sent us chocolate, and it is good. So sayeth Fay.
    What movie does one see on Easter Sunday? Hmm.

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  16. Hi Junie. What a sucky weekend this turned out to be for me. I had this great weekend planned with my new beau for Passover and Easter with his little girls. OMG.
    What a passive aggressive arsewipe he turned out to be.
    If you want the deets, read my blog. Sorry for the self-promotion on here, June. Just the ladies on here will appreciate the rant@!

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  17. One word on migraines…Zomig. It changed my life. While I might feel a bit not quite right, my life moves on and I can function.

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  18. After a lovely Easter day, with perfect weather and great food, we sat down to watch Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy with Gary Oldman and a cast of many. Could. not. follow. Gave up. I am too dense.
    Looking forward to Mad Men at 10. TV for the simple.

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  19. Happy Easter June et al!
    Also, Talu? If you ever get a big ol’ booty thing going, you just call up Otis. He’s the hottest black pug you’ve ever seen, and he loves him the big girls 🙂

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  20. Oh, thank you Letha! Forgot Mad Men was on, just turned to it. Yay!!
    Also, loved all of today’s pictures June; especially the first one.
    Hope everyone had a Happy Easter or happy Sunday. Stud Muffin and I sat in our pajamas all day long for the first.time.in.our life! We feel like rich, leisurely people. Tomorrow morning we will change back into regular working-class peoples so there ya go.

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  21. Those Easter eggs…..oh my God! Is your friend Da Vinci or something???? My kids and I do eggs and they often look the color of…..well, I won’t fill in the blank. But, like, WOW! Chocolate bunnies are overrated, June!

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