I gots no idea what Ima blog about today. Did you ever try to blog every single day of your life? Because sometimes it's hard. You got nuthin'.
Yesterday …friend and I went to a movie (we saw Chico and Rita. We totally got to see cartoon sex.) then we had brunch, and there was another Art-O-Mat at the restaurant and of course I bought another $5 piece of art.
I've talked about these 68 times, but Art-O-Mats are old cigarette machines that now have teensy pieces of art in them, from artists from just everywhere. I was torn between getting Scrabble earrings or this wood block, and I went for the block. I would photograph it for you but I am extremely busy.
Should I drive back today and get the Scrabble earrings, too? Please note how extremely employed I am.
Hey, did I tell you I'm freelancing at my old workplace starting later this week? Not the LAST place that laid me off, the place that laid me off before that.
This was where I had to bring in a childhood photo of me, remember? And they put it up in the lobby with everyone else's childhood picture?
Okay, I just went into my archives to find the childhood picture, and I found this passage from back in July 2010:
I could not wait to get home and fix my bra straps. All day my left strap kept visiting my elbow, like they were long-lost friends who couldn't wait for a coffee klatch. Like they were Celie and Nettie in The Color Purple. You and me, us never part. Makidada.
Stupid effing strap. I'm certain I looked professional dipping down my shirt all day.
Who cracked her own self up with that? Also?
Here is the thing. Marvin found a lot of funny crap on the Internet and it contributed maturely to my blog. Without Marvin, we'd have never shared the "Hide your wife, hide your kids" guy with each other. I wish I could afford to hire Marvin as a consultant to find me stupid things for all y'all.
…friend is not into the Internet at all. Yesterday he said he thinks the Internet is more a girl thing, which I heartily disagree with. "What about porn?" I pointed out. What do you think? Girl thing or boy thing?
Tallulah just came in here and will not stop obsessively sniffing the floor, and I realize she is a dog and that is her job but it makes me nervous that there is a vole in here or something. I tell you what. If Roger were still alive I'd have no concern that Talu was on vole patrol. You get a blind kitten and a fancy-pants lovely cat to replace Roger, and sure, it's cute and all, but you don't feel quite so…protected.
Remember in Little Town on the Prairie when Laura had a new kitten and it totally killed a mouse even though the cat itself was not much bigger than the mouse? What Laura had, there, was a Roger kitten. And what do you mean no, you don't remember that?
Okay I am off. I have to go to the doctor today for my annual RICOLAAAAAAA! exam. Every year I pull out the RICOLAAAA! joke, and it just gets funnier. Ooo, but before I go, who watched Mad Men last night? That grandma is the best.