June writes for four minutes

I have to go to work at old place not last place but place before that (OPNLPBPBT). I have to rush. So I will blog for the four minutes it takes before my french press makes coffee.

A. Tallulah opened and ate an entire bag of jalapeno Cheetos last night. She is a dick. I know I should not even own such a thing but it looked good.

2. Watched old episodes of Entourage last night and it made me miss LA. Because I spent so many days in LA at the hottest clubs and banging starlets.

vii. If Marvin reads this post he's gonna be annoyed I never let on about the starlets.

5. Am excited to see old coworkers today and glad it's the casual-ist place alive, clotheswise.

(b). After, Dick Whitman and I are supposed to go to a film fesival but if I don't hurry I won't get the dogs to daycare and I won't be able to go at all.

Sad
**. Yesterday I worked out and then immediately went to Taco Bell after.

(i.e.,). I think girl time is on its way.

XX. Hi, Hulk.

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Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

86 thoughts on “June writes for four minutes”

  1. Okay, you may have eaten Taco Bell after working out but your body is banging, Ms. June!! You go girl! I may have to look into this Tracy Anderson method. Her connections with Gwyneth Paltrow are enough to make me wanna totally ignore her!! But if it really works … hmmm ….

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  2. That waistline is looking hawtie-hawt!
    I told you you’d like Goop’s trainer.
    I worked out this morning with my kettle bell, (the next thing you should try), and then ate a giant double chocolate chip cookie.
    Good luck with the dog gas from those jalapeño cheetos. Hopefully, she’ll get it out of her system while you’re at work.

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  3. Don’t stand next to me next time we’re together, please. If you can eat Taco Bell and still look like that, I hate you. Sorta. In a loving way.

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  4. Good golly! You obviously got rid of the puffy along with Marvin yesterday! I’m gonna skip the part about the workout (bloo de bloo bloo bloo) and assume this is Body by Taco Bell. Heading there for lunch…

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  5. I cannot stand GOOP but I am getting Tracy Anderson today. I’m so jealous of your waistline!
    And I agree with Original Joann. I wouldn’t want to be any where near Lu when those cheetos come out.

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  6. Geez…
    “How June Met Hulk”

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  7. I do not have a dog and I would never have those Doritos but I suggest you stay upwind of Talu for the next 24 to 48.
    I DO hate you. I’ve been going to the gym for FIVE months and have not gotten results. And I think my trainer is getting fat. I’ve been duped! Those bastards.

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  8. You spoke of starlets and my advertisement on the right side of the screen is for dateasia.com! I kept staring at it to make sure I wasn’t at the wrong blog. Oh, my!

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  9. Now we KNOW you aren’t puffy. Told you it was that yellow sweater. You look HOT, girl! You should have worn that outfit to the UPS for sure.

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  10. Sadie - She works hard for the money. So hard for it, honey. She works hard for the money. So you better treat her right. says:

    Hulk, I’m so happy you and June finally found wuv, tru wuv…so tweasure your wuv foweva.

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  11. I hate you, too. Every F*UCKING minute I’m F*UCKING RUNNING on that F*UCKING TREADMILL I hate it. HATE. But I tell myself how good I’ll feel. How good I’ll look. Every F*UCKING time I eat a salad INSTEAD OF TACO BELL, I mentally pat myself on the back. I tell myself I made a good choice. It tastes good, too.
    Then… I weighed myself. I GAINED THREE POUNDS. F*UCK.
    By the way, speaking of good choices… flaming’ hot Cheetos are the way to go. I have had the jalapeño Cheetos but they got nothing on the flamin’ hots.

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  12. I’m impressed you typed all that in four minutes. If I did that, it would have a thousand typos.
    Yay for old workplace needing their June fix too!

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  13. Jan, I hear you. That treadmill makes me want to run far, far away every time I see it. But then of course, the treadmill has won.
    June, you are lookin’ good!!

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  14. June, you look fantastic! I will go and get Zumba Fitness for the Xbox today, so watch out world. I hope to be in bikini shape sometime this year…we shall see.

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  15. You are absolutely svelte! The Cheeto stealing sounds just like something one of my dogs would do. And I hope Talu doesn’t get the doggie diarrhea. Ewwww! Enjoy your day at the old, old workplace. It’s always fun to see friends you haven’t seen in a while.

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  16. Why, Scahhhlet!! And the only cinching is from drawstring sweats.
    June, going off to work. Oh, more nostalgia.
    If Lu pukes, it will be orange. Be sure and take a picture for DW.

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  17. Am I the only Pier who loves working out and gets really cranky if she has to miss a day? Perhaps one of the benefits of being the Sports Editor of the high school newspaper?

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  18. If people weren’t so busy noticing that tiny waist, they might see that June is flashing a bra strap again.
    June, living proof that exercise works better than diet when it comes to looking good.
    Also, I bet Lu drank about a gallon of water after those Cheetos. A good day for her to be at doggy daycare.

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  19. It was probably just the camera angle…

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  20. It was probably just the camera angle…

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  21. It was probably just the camera angle…

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  22. When I started Zumba last year I was hooked right away, it was so much fun. First time ever in my life that I enjoyed working out. I work full time now and being basically a single mom I cannot attend the classes anymore. I hope with getting the Zumba game I will do Zumba at home, I really enjoyed it and could not get enough. I can tell I am much happier when I work out regularly, less anxiety and all that. And less fat, I had lost so much weight and gained some back.

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  23. sandra, actually realised she needs to be single for a while, unless someone irresistable comes along of course. says:

    yup Hulk, strudel is ready for strutting again I guess! When is Hulkapalooza this year?

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  24. Amish Annie/Paul hates cardio but loves the weights...had a trainer working with me on power lifting stuff but then I got bored and my contract ended and I was feeling cheap and the drive was 30 minutes...see how many excuses I can come up with? says:

    Lu wasn’t smoking something funny before she ate that whole bag of Cheetos last night, was she?

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  25. My ad shows a puppy and says, “Your dog deserves the best. Buy now and get same day delivery.”
    I think that is exactly what happened to Lu and the cheetos. Let’s hope the same day delivery happens at daycare.

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  26. Don’t you all realize what Talu is doing for June? She ate the sleeve of Girl Scout cookies and now she took the bag of Jalapeno Cheetos to save June the frustration of gaining back any weight. Only Talu would sacrifice her own waistline for the mom she loves so much. And Hulk, I rather enjoyed your video above!

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  27. Aw, poor Talu! She must have been stress eating after Mommy and Daddy signed the divorce papers.
    Looking good, June! Makes me (almost) want to get up off the couch!

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  28. Dudes. It's that Tracy Gold workout DVD, I am telling you. And here I am, back at the workplace. I found a really good error already so I adore me. Also, my picture really is still up in the lobby! Oh I love it here.

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  29. Yeah, but can I just watch the DVD or must I actually exercise to it?

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  30. The workout is great, I’m telling you. It’s a combination of floor exercises and cardio dance. The floor exercises are really different from anything out there, because supposedly this Tracy studied the muscle system and created these specific exercises for a woman’s body. And the dance is essentially a bunch of jumping around, kind of like drunk dancing which works perfectly for the coordination challenged like myself.

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  31. Ok before you buy the Zumba for X-box go and rent it. I don’t like it, but that could have something to do with the fact that my husband and son laughed at me while I was trying to do it. It’s very difficult trying to stay correctly for the sensor. I absolutely hated it. Ima have to try this Tracey bitch!

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  32. OK OJ, I’m so glad you said coordination challenged-because that is EXACTLY the reason I can’t work the X-box system and the Zumba for it. Trying to stand exactly so that the stupid sensor recognizes me and excercise is just hell!

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  33. Hulk, you are hilarious. That veedeo was priceless! At the end it says, “Thanks to my good friend, caffeine.” Maybe my son will have a career with his little doodles on his notebook one day!
    “She is a dick” about to burst jalepeno cheetohs. Good thing she can let it all hang out at doggie day care. Do you have to disclose that sort of thing before you drop them off? Otherwise they might think that Talu is dying from the explosions that will most certainly rock her furry little world.
    And Lisa’s “Body by Taco Bell” comment made me guffaw. Still not going there.

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  34. June:
    First, your excellent modeling of Clinique’s “Pink Beach” was wonderful marketing for them and and now you appear to be on your way to doing the same for Tracy Chapman Solid Gold Dancers DVD.

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  35. sandra, actually realised she needs to be single for a while, unless someone irresistable comes along of course. says:

    Thank you Heather. Luckily noone but two guinea pigs will be watching me Zumba. My son may every now and then, but he is six and does not know better. I used to do it at the gym and hated when we had class in the room with all the mirrors!

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  36. Damn, I guess I’m going to have to jump on the Tracy Chapman workout bandwagon. I wonder if we can get a group discount? Oh! Do they sell them on Amazon? If so, June, you’ve GOT to put an Amazon button on your site so you get paid for all of us ordering it. Actually, you should have one anyway. I order from them all the time, and I’d happily access them through BBP.

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  37. Ha! Tracy Chapman workout!!! “Gimme one reason to stay here… and I’ll turn right back around.” I wonder what a Tracy Chapman workout might be like. I think it is more my pace. 😉 I am with you Tammi V.V. on the Amazon ordering through June. I have to place an order right now but I will hold off if it means that June would get the credit. What say you, June?

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  38. It’s Tracey Anderson. I didn’t buy the whole sha-bang like June.
    I bought the Tracy Anderson 30 day method book which came with the DVD. Her diet is ridiculous and I’ve never subscribed to it, but the workout is awesome, unlike that she-devil Jillian Michael’s, and when you actually like your workout, that’s half the battle.

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  39. A. My favorite coffee machine of the three they have here just broke. the FUCK?
    2. Strawberry yogurt Chex mix is delish.
    7. The vending machines here are still great.
    B. Dear Zadge, Yes. Love, June.

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  40. Donna, I’ve been doing the workout on and off for awhile.
    I don’t know if you call it slim and trim. I’m no Gwyneth Paltrow, but I try to keep my clothes size in the single digits. It’s hard to do when you eat your pizza with doritos on top.

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  41. Hulk (If you guys did a Tracy Chapman workout, would you feel like killing yourselves at the end? Like you do after listening to one of her songs?) says:

    I’ve seen OJ in person…
    Wow.
    I’ve seen June in person…
    Wow. Wait. What’s with all the dog hair?

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  42. Hulk (If you guys did a Tracy Chapman workout, would you feel like killing yourselves at the end? Like you do after listening to one of her songs?) says:

    I’ve seen OJ in person…
    Wow.
    I’ve seen June in person…
    Wow. Wait. What’s with all the dog hair?

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  43. Hulk (If you guys did a Tracy Chapman workout, would you feel like killing yourselves at the end? Like you do after listening to one of her songs?) says:

    I’ve seen OJ in person…
    Wow.
    I’ve seen June in person…
    Wow. Wait. What’s with all the dog hair?

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  44. Oh, I have a little story for you all.
    I was outside this morning watering my garden, came inside, threw in a load of laundry, unloaded the dishwasher, checked my email and then started to painted my kitchen. I was on a chair reaching up to paint the top cabinet when I noticed something out of the corner of my eye on my shoulder. It was a humongous bug just sitting there! Holy hell, I almost fell off the chair trying to get that thing off. I’m swearing and jumping around like a maniac. (my exercise for the day) The dog is looking at me like I lost my mind. Apparently it was sitting on my shoulder like a parrot since I came inside, while I went about my business. Took me an hour to stop shaking.

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  45. No. It’s not like that bitch at all, Anita. I swear, that Jillian enjoys hurting people and sucking all the fun out of well…probably everything.
    Tracy’s workout is actually fun. Hey, you can’t get much funner than drunk dancing.
    And thank you, my darling friend, Hulk. You should get together with both June and me some day. You could be the cream in our cookie.
    What?

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  46. so is “girl time” a lesbian euphemism thingy? are you going to make a sand castle on the “pink beach”?
    I totally get the “code” words…

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  47. so is “girl time” a lesbian euphemism thingy? are you going to make a sand castle on the “pink beach”?
    I totally get the “code” words…

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  48. so is “girl time” a lesbian euphemism thingy? are you going to make a sand castle on the “pink beach”?
    I totally get the “code” words…

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  49. Anita, ACK! The giant friendly bugs are the one thing I do not miss about FL.

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  50. Hulk (Don't let her fool ya, gang. OJ is a petite little thing, as is Junie. And those ba-ZOOMS! Oy...) says:

    Would that it were, OJ…

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  51. Hulk (Don't let her fool ya, gang. OJ is a petite little thing, as is Junie. And those ba-ZOOMS! Oy...) says:

    Would that it were, OJ…

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  52. Hulk (Don't let her fool ya, gang. OJ is a petite little thing, as is Junie. And those ba-ZOOMS! Oy...) says:

    Would that it were, OJ…

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  53. What Tracy Anderson DVD do you have exactly? Looking on Amazon and they have a few different titles. I’m asking because I want to buy it because you look great. How long have you been doing it, only like a month right?

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  54. DonnafromBoulder, that is fabulous! I’m buying one. I never put anything on my vehicles, but this will be my first.
    And Hulk, you are too kind. See, you could be the cream between the two blonde, big bazoomba girls.
    Whaaaat?

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  55. Ooh, did everyone at work today comment on your new good and smaller self? While you were all gathered round the vending machines?

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  56. I just looked and I spent $5648 at Amazon last year. I think the minimum Amazon pays through their Amazon Associate program is 4%, so you could have earned $225.98 off of just me. Get that button, girl!

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  57. Sadie grew up in Florida with giant spiders along with giant roaches and palmetto bugs. It was the land of the giants, I tell you. says:

    Question: What do Anita and The Zadge have in common?
    Answer: New pets named Bugs!

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