Kobayashi Maru

Last night I had drama with …friend, but everything is okay now. I wish I could tell you all about it, but I feel like I'd need his permission to tell the story, and I similarly feel like he'd say, "You know what? No. It was bad enough living it in real life. Why rehash it on an Internet blog?" That's what he called my blog once, like he's 97 years old. My Internet blog.

The good news is, …friend is the kind of person you can call, and you're all hysterical and possibly your hair is flying about twistily and your voice is all shaky, and five minutes later you have calmed down. Because he may or may not be the normal person in this scenario. I know that comes as a shock.

Confetti_3Here is an unretouched photo of my hair after my upsetty phone call to …friend. Or, alternatively, here is a picture of my spiral perm and Persian cat in 1988. I have shown you this picture before but I feel like it bears repeating.

I loved that cat. His name was Confetti. I got him on New Year's Eve; hence the moniker. He was super floppy and slept on my head. He kind of looks like Gizmo from that one movie. What the hell was the movie? With Gizmo. That one.

WHY did no one stop me from getting a perm? Seriously. Why did no one step in?

In other news, Tallulah continues to wear her cone, and she coincidentally continues to hate me. But the second I feel bad and take that thing off, she lick lick licks her incision. Why can she not put two and two together?

I am also here at my temporary job, which I have been at for over a month now, and last pay period I did not get paid because there was some kind of waiting period, and now today I didn't get paid enough. I only got one week's worth of cash money. Fortunately they are straightening it out, which is good because I have seven dollars.

Also, the surgery center called to ask me a bunch of questions. Do I have sleep apnea? Am I a bleeder? Am I a breeder? How is my heart? Who is that guy with a sickle behind me?

So that was relaxing. Seeing as this is my THIRD operation to remove my effing fibroids, I am kind of familiar with the procedure. I could probably reach up there and do it myself. Anyway, Faithful Reader Laurie, we have to be there at 7:15 and that sounds delightful. Maybe they mean 7:15 p.m. and we can have cocktails first. What say you?

Oh! And before I go, I do have to tell you one more thing. Before I called …friend with my upsettyness, I talked to my friend Sandy's husband. He is a genuinely nice guy, and I wanted a guy opinion that was not Hulk's. For once.

So I told him the story and he said, "What you've got here, June, is the Kobayashi Maru," he said.

The what, now?

"Yeah. It's a no-win situation. In Star Trek II and then Star Trek VI, Khan blooo de blooo bloo. And he bleep de beeee dee deeee, and he had Kobayahsi Maru. A no-win situation."

Will you remind me to stop asking men things?

Come to think of it, it was a man who gave me that spiral perm, too. June. Sensing a pattern. A swirly brown puffy pattern.

106 thoughts on “Kobayashi Maru

  1. I was screaming Gremlins! at you but I am too late. I just got back from shopping all ding dang day. I came home with a polka dotty dressy with a twirly skirt! Now comes the hunt for some shoes. I can not wear the sky high ones that I see everywhere.
    Glad Lu’s test is good news. And that you and …. worked it all out.


  2. I’m so glad you figured out the movie! I was trying to remember and was gonna have to do a crazy search to get the answer.
    The only thing I could remember is that the dad in that movie wrote that song JOY TO THE WORLD that starts with, “Jeremiah was a bullfrog.” I know that because his dad, Coach Axton was my dad’s football coach in high school.
    Your cat Confetti did look a little like Gizmo in that photo.
    Hope all goes well with your surgery. 🙂


  3. I don't know, you guys. A 2 is not really that reassuring. If she had gotten a 3, she'd be doomed. But a 2 is unpredictable and still sometimes fatal. Had she gotten a 1, she'd have a 90% survival rate.


  4. I know it isn’t the news you were hoping for but it’s still better than 3!
    I’m sure the vet will monitor her closely and hopefully she’ll be fine.


  5. Just Paula….I had my sleep study last night…back in a couple of weeks for the C-Pap machine testing………..You will be fine…….the wires, etc are not the most annoying things. The most annoying things…..I missed my own pillow, and the strange noises of a new place. I still slept about 7 hours, though.


  6. Morning Sadie…..I think I’m missing something lately and wondering if a lot goes on on The Facebook…I’m not on the BBP facebook page. Are a lot of things discussed there?…because the comments here seem very disjointed since BBP morphed over to FB. What say you?


  7. Sometimes we talk on Pie on the Face because there are things I don't want everyone in the world to see in these comments. Mostly I ask for boy advice. Well. Tallulah does. I am not on Pie on the Face, but she is.


  8. Garden Girl, I’m not on FB so am not sitting at the popular girls’ table either. Can I sit at your table? I think the comments sound disjointed because of the “reply” feature here. I have to keep going back and looking to see if new comments were posted as replies to previous comments.


  9. Well thanks, Sadie. Just hard to make sense of some of it. Wish there was a way to be aware of a reply made to others so that continuing comments made sense. At least I am not wandering *alone* in the desert! Thanks, Sadie! Have a good wednesday. : )


  10. OMG when I saw the title I was all, “I didn’t know June was a Trekkie!” I shoulda know better 😉 Thanks be to the fuzzy gods that perm didn’t live long and prosper.


  11. I like the comments being numbered. I don’t know. It’s more orderly that way. Have I ever mentioned I’m pretty sure I have a touch of (undiagnosed) OCD? You couldn’t tell? Have I ever shared I count stairs every time I climb up them, but never count them on the way down? Even though I climb my stair eleventy hundred times a day? Have I ever shared I count grapes? When I am washing them and putting them in my children’s lunches? Why? I don’t know. I just do it. I can’t NOT do it.
    2 might not be great but it’s much better than 3. What’s the plan? Do they just re-check her throughout the year?
    I have a million things to do. Seriously. I really need to go take a shower. Up my 14 stars. But for some reason I have no desire to do anything today except for sit in front of my computer and eat.


  12. Texas Kari who is glad Lu is ok and is so sad for the ladies who had to say good-bye to their doggies says:

    This is cracking me up!
    Every time you try to fix the comments they just end up weirder. Oddly (bah!) I find the numbers very comforting.


  13. I have 19 between the first and second floors and 16 between the second and third floors. Oh and 4 from the front walkway up to the door.


  14. #80, I too must count everything. And when I brush my teeth – I must count the number of times I “hit” the toothbrush on the side of the sink when done. And, it must equal three. I have tried to stop at 2 ….. and I CAN’T DO IT! Oh yeah. I am that weird.
    Thankfully I don’t separate the grapes when putting them in lunches.


  15. #90~ I’m glad it’t not just me. I have tried to NOT count grapes. Really tried hard. But I can’t stop myself. I even went back into the kitchen, took the lunches out of the fridge and counted the grapes before I went to bed when I tried to NOT count them. I was just… unsettled.


  16. Deb, who was walking around all morning at work with a big, black make up brush hair on her face and no one said anything to her says:

    No one knows what is wrong with you June. Hey, now that the comments are numbered do you think LuAnn de Lesseps will start commenting?


  17. I count stairs and how many steps I take but I don’t count grapes or anything like that because I am not a kitchen counter. Bahahahahahahaha! Oh, dear.


  18. Sending good vibes to both you and Lu.
    When our elkhound had a cyst removed we asked the vet about a cone. He doesn’t like them any more than the dogs. We ended up getting one of those foam neck braces from the drug store. It worked like a champ. He thought it was just a fat collar but he couldn’t get his head around far enough to lick the wound.


  19. Re counting: I don’t count ALL the stairs because it’s exhausting enough just walking up them. But my daughter lives in a fourth floor apartment in San Francisco. You walk up nine inside stairs to a small landing, then turn, turn nine more stairs, then turn, turn on the landing, etc., etc. It KILLS this old lady, lemme tell ya. I have to stop and catch my breath two or three times. Also? My daughter says she lives on the third floor, but to me the lobby is floor one, the next floor is two, then three, then her floor, which is the fourth floor, dammit.


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