In which people are nice to June. Heaven knows why. I guess cause I’m a PRINCE of a gal. A PRINCE! You don’t have to watch Dynasty to have an attitude.

I am eating a piece of toast, my dear 16%, and on said toast is chocolate hazelnut peanut butter. To say I am enjoying it would be an understatement. The neighbors are probably about to call the police. "Someone is too joyous over at the white house near the corner." I didn't mean to buy … Continue reading In which people are nice to June. Heaven knows why. I guess cause I’m a PRINCE of a gal. A PRINCE! You don’t have to watch Dynasty to have an attitude.

In which June did not kill …friend with her cooking, and also potato talk

In all my 92 years, I don't think I've ever met a person who was so adorably grateful for a simple (!) birthday celebration as ...friend was. He was so delighted! And I THOUGHT I had veeeedeotaped his big arrival, which would have meant you'd have had to watch us making out, but in fact … Continue reading In which June did not kill …friend with her cooking, and also potato talk

…friend turns 89. Also, hi, hi, pie!–Update with a news flash: June can’t cook.

It's ...friend's birthday, so I got no time to talk to you, girl. Ima make the apple pie he requested. A few of you said, "Why don't you videotape (veeedeotape) (my poor grandmother. You screw up ONE WORD...) yourself making pie," because this is like a wedding or graduation in that it is rare and … Continue reading …friend turns 89. Also, hi, hi, pie!–Update with a news flash: June can’t cook.

Green Bean. Also, Brooks bought me a mink. Did I mention Brooks? Mink? Brooks?

You wanna know what's weird about Edsel? Well. I mean, we'd be here all day. But you wanna know one thing that's weird about Edsel? (And YES. I CALLED THE VET about his eyes. Waiting for call back.) One thing out of the 39494949 that is weird about Edsel is that although this dog does … Continue reading Green Bean. Also, Brooks bought me a mink. Did I mention Brooks? Mink? Brooks?

Only service animals permitted.

I wish you all were here right now, which might get crowded and I haven't nearly enough dip, but I cannot BEGIN to tell you how idiotic the dogs are being and I wish you could just see it. There is an orange cat positively strolling--strolling! Like she's on the Champs-Elysees, taking her sweet time--across … Continue reading Only service animals permitted.

Your Teams Revealed

Thank you all for participating in yesterday's highly scientific and also deeply important survey, in which you selected teams for no apparent reason. Below are your results. Your highly scientific and deeply important results. Because I have spent all morning buying songs on iTunes, I have not culled my photos for flattering pictures of the … Continue reading Your Teams Revealed

Where had I left Sunday. They never make Sunday. Didn’t I already title a post with this? Where had I left my originality.

That title is only funny if you know When Harry Met Sally by heart. To which I say, why on earth don't you know that movie by heart? Yesterday I went to Hillsborough with ...friend, who I know I'm being super-not-obvious about, but just between you and me I kind of like him. I mean, … Continue reading Where had I left Sunday. They never make Sunday. Didn’t I already title a post with this? Where had I left my originality.

Two fine people who hate each other

Last night, America's favorite couple got together to celebrate their forehead wrinkles. What the EFF? I pay $275 to get that thing out of here, although in all fairness, my dermatologist HAS rendered that portion of my head motionless, and warned me getting "the deep wrinkle" out would take some time. That's what she called … Continue reading Two fine people who hate each other