Armed with Cipro, June Soldiers On. She also solders on, as she is the star of Flashdance. Wait. That would be weldering on. Wouldn’t it?

...friend/Ned left his Swiss Army Knife here, so if today's the day the Swiss Army needs to invade, he is screwed. "We're gonna burst into that country and open ALL THEIR CANS! No cork is safe!" Often on Sundays, we see a pretentious movie, then have brunch, which is really more dunch because it's 3:00 … Continue reading Armed with Cipro, June Soldiers On. She also solders on, as she is the star of Flashdance. Wait. That would be weldering on. Wouldn’t it?

Because you’ve been saying, “June never tells us about her urinary tract.”

Before I begin complaining about my urinary tract infection, and right there I know you're riveted and not.going.anywhere, I wanted to show you this. My Tracy Allman workout requires me to jump around like an idiot, and kick behind me and in front of me and to the side and really I just want to … Continue reading Because you’ve been saying, “June never tells us about her urinary tract.”

June Gardens. Famous in Greensboro since…well. Okay. I’m still not famous. Crap.

I was quoted in the local paper again today. I am turning into my Uncle Leo. Not that I have become gay and half-Hispanic, although both of those are clearly right around the corner. Oh, and vegetarian. My Uncle Leo is also vegetarian now. Stay tuned for Latina June, your favorite celery-chewing lesbian, coming to … Continue reading June Gardens. Famous in Greensboro since…well. Okay. I’m still not famous. Crap.

Shaft. Can you dig it?

In the once-again completely linear and never remotely ludicrous comments, we have decided to either call ...friend Ned Nickerson or Shaft. Dudes, just read the comments. No way am I going through an archaeological dig to tell you the genesis of that whole thing. Anyway guess what. We're going with Ned Nickerson. I haven't even … Continue reading Shaft. Can you dig it?

To be read AFTER you stick the Bic pen in someone’s throat. Not before.

I am certain I have already told you that ...friend lives downtown, which is kind of exciting because he's right there conveniently located to shops, restaurants, bars and crime. He's not on the first floor, but you can hear people walking past, and the other day we heard this woman on the phone. "I am … Continue reading To be read AFTER you stick the Bic pen in someone’s throat. Not before.

The June Show! Starring June!

Do you know what must be annoying? Dating me. Can you imagine what it must be like to wait for THE JUNE SHOW! Starring....JUNE! With special guest star...JUNE! to be over so I can throw a little attention your way? Written by...JUNE! Directed by...JUNE! Yesterday my sweet friend Jo threw a (wait for it) birthday … Continue reading The June Show! Starring June!

Brief. Because June gots work to do and you know how she organizes her time wisely.

Thank you all for your insightful questions for Dick Whitman's mom. I mean, thank you to everyone but Hulk and Furry Godmother, who were on the same page, for once, and that page was ludicrous. Yesterday I showed you old photos of Whitman's parents, and here is a family portrait. Yes, that is our DW, … Continue reading Brief. Because June gots work to do and you know how she organizes her time wisely.

The good news is Dick Whitman took most of the photographs in this one

Do you remember a few months back when I had a coffeemaker quandary? I was using a percolater but the coffee got old fast, and the french press left too many grounds and hello, first-world problems? I asked y'all to recommend a coffeemaker, and I got a Bunn, not only because you mentioned it but … Continue reading The good news is Dick Whitman took most of the photographs in this one

In which you will grow increasingly annoyed that you do not have my Aunt Mary as your personal aunt.

I have to kind of hurry today, as I have freelance work to do (yay!), but there are many photographs to show you, and downloading or uploading or totin' the weary load takes time, and if a picture paints a thousand words then why do I have to add a thousand more? In case you … Continue reading In which you will grow increasingly annoyed that you do not have my Aunt Mary as your personal aunt.

TinaDoris Got Married (aka Straight men? Just go look at manlysports.com today or something)

Dudes, I have to scream through this post because ...friend and I are on our way to Asheville, which is up in the mountains and, one hopes, cooler than it is here, as it is 10 in the morning and already 950 degrees. Here I am in the hotel bathroom; I wanted you to see … Continue reading TinaDoris Got Married (aka Straight men? Just go look at manlysports.com today or something)

In which Richard Carpenter is brought up. As you do.

I feel bad, because I was doing something ridiculous in the kitchen* and I heard Edsel whining. There's a rare and unusual event. I knew he was over by the back door, so I said, "Go on outside. You know how." Both my dogs can open the screen door now, by bashing their heads into … Continue reading In which Richard Carpenter is brought up. As you do.