Spike. In my blood pressure. Also, June waxes on.

My sink's water filter broke, and I know you wonder how I am able to carry on, and let me tell you I almost didn't. Am I just supposed to go around drinking BAD CARCINOGENIC WATER from now on? Because, unacceptable. I made the fatal error of phonng Marvin to see if he had any … Continue reading Spike. In my blood pressure. Also, June waxes on.

Sometimes? On Howard Stern? When a guest can’t make a decision, Howard says, “You aren’t buying a condo. Just decide.”

When the vet told me that Iris had an inflamed bladder, and is this burning an eternal flame-y bladder, one thing she suggested was that Iris be allowed to go to high places. Apparently this helps them mellow out, dude. "So if you're not letting her on counters or shelves, you might want to start … Continue reading Sometimes? On Howard Stern? When a guest can’t make a decision, Howard says, “You aren’t buying a condo. Just decide.”

Oh, and today is my Aunt Kathy’s birthday. HBD, Aunt K!

Last night, Ned and I got up with Dick Whitman in Winston-Salem. I have no idea what we're discussing here but I guarantee you it was deep. We went to Single Brothers, which is this small cool place that makes fancy mixed drinks. Last night their special was muddled strawberries with vodka and just a … Continue reading Oh, and today is my Aunt Kathy’s birthday. HBD, Aunt K!

This is why you should sit around and read Star or something.

I am back from the doctor, and I don't want you to get upset, but I have plantar fasciitis. I know! She recommended...Aleve. Also ice. Also cortisone shots if it doesn't get better.  Plus also, I cannot do Tracy Morgan for a week. YAY!!! The Tracy workouts have two parts: the cardio, where you literally … Continue reading This is why you should sit around and read Star or something.

Ned, Dick Whitman, Hulk, and some gay man

I didn't blog yesterday because I wasn't in the mood. Oh, but here are two family pictures I didn't include in my last impressive post. The reason I missed them in my email is because they didn't include the words "photo" "picture" or "family" when they were sent to me. Dudes, I wasn't gonna literally … Continue reading Ned, Dick Whitman, Hulk, and some gay man

We are family. I got all my pictures with me.

My new driver's license is here! It's not nearly as bad a picture as the last one I took, back in 2007. In that one I looked like I'd been dragged from the river. I sort of have cute hair in this one. Those rings around my head happen all the time. Speaking of pictures, … Continue reading We are family. I got all my pictures with me.

June Girly Brown. Aka, June does not feel really what you’d call “well.”

I finally dragged my unwell arse over here to the computer to tell you my every symptom in disgusting detail,  and then I got waylaid by a hard-hitting story on the Internet (and by the way. News flash for the hilarious jokesters: "Interwebs." Stop. Just stop.) about how Rob Pattinson was on Jon Stewart last … Continue reading June Girly Brown. Aka, June does not feel really what you’d call “well.”

England June. Also Dudley June Right. Also, locomotive.

I schlepped to the bagel store today and am currently eating an Asiago Parmesan bagel with bacon scallion cream cheese and a tomato. I am totally Ned right now. "GodDAMMIT, this is good." The other night I was lying in bed with the radio on. Moonlight falls like rain. Soft summer nights spent thinking of … Continue reading England June. Also Dudley June Right. Also, locomotive.