Thank you all for your Ned questions in yesterday's comments. They were thought-provoking and insightful and often stupid. I did, speaking of the stupid ones, get a kick out of Hulk's questions. Why do I enjoy ludicrous Hulk? If you have MORE questions for Ned, please do not ask them here. Go to yesterday's post. … Continue reading Tiffany jazz
Yesterday, I had another of my hard-hitting, inciting-envy giveaways. Y'all had to guess who these very recognizable people were, from what is clearly a quality wax museum: I think what we all need to do is get together for some kind of Bye Bye Piefest at this wax museum. Because, ridiculous? The problem is, I … Continue reading God save the wax queen
My sink's water filter broke, and I know you wonder how I am able to carry on, and let me tell you I almost didn't. Am I just supposed to go around drinking BAD CARCINOGENIC WATER from now on? Because, unacceptable. I made the fatal error of phonng Marvin to see if he had any … Continue reading Spike. In my blood pressure. Also, June waxes on.
When the vet told me that Iris had an inflamed bladder, and is this burning an eternal flame-y bladder, one thing she suggested was that Iris be allowed to go to high places. Apparently this helps them mellow out, dude. "So if you're not letting her on counters or shelves, you might want to start … Continue reading Sometimes? On Howard Stern? When a guest can’t make a decision, Howard says, “You aren’t buying a condo. Just decide.”
This weekend, I was telling Ned the fascinating story of how once I took Faithful Reader Laurie to the train station, and have I mentioned what riveting date I must be? And, because who could get enough of that story, I found it on my blog to send to him. Turned out, it's a pretty … Continue reading Best Crab Cake in Town
Last night, Ned and I got up with Dick Whitman in Winston-Salem. I have no idea what we're discussing here but I guarantee you it was deep. We went to Single Brothers, which is this small cool place that makes fancy mixed drinks. Last night their special was muddled strawberries with vodka and just a … Continue reading Oh, and today is my Aunt Kathy’s birthday. HBD, Aunt K!
Has there been a day this week I have not been dashing off to somewhere and pulling a fast post out my arse? June's blog. Come for the photography. Stay for the grace and dignity. In case you were up all night, tossing and turning, my dental visit went shockingly well. Oh, I still need … Continue reading In which June is a 3. 2. 2.
I slept late and I have to go to the dentist, because I know how to throw down on a Thursday. To summarize life lately: 1. Iris is not better, despite giving her Clavamox for two weeks, which she really enjoyed, so I am delighted she didn't need it. The vet is going to test … Continue reading June is brief.
The more Prince Harry does stupid things, the more I like him. Also, how boring is my life that you can't find any photos of me naked in Vegas?
The other day, Ned and I were talking about going to the library when we were kids, and we are a scorchingly fascinating couple. Ned was, like, a real boy, who played outside all day and participated in sports and liked dinosaurs. I was usually inside (a) reading a book, (c) putting on makeup or … Continue reading Life Story
I am back from the doctor, and I don't want you to get upset, but I have plantar fasciitis. I know! She recommended...Aleve. Also ice. Also cortisone shots if it doesn't get better. Plus also, I cannot do Tracy Morgan for a week. YAY!!! The Tracy workouts have two parts: the cardio, where you literally … Continue reading This is why you should sit around and read Star or something.
I have to stampede to the doctor this morning because I have this stabbing relentless pain in my heel. This is probably the beginning of the end. You know what a happy outlook I have when it comes to my health. Will write you after I've limped home and they've prescribed me a morphine drip.
Ned, despite his love for all movies depressing, is generally a happy kind of person. But yesterday he was in a mood. And that mood was not good. He'd had a stressful week and was not feeling sparkly. ...Nedkitty not feeling that chipper, either. cudd have to do wif girl beeng here again. We had … Continue reading Bubble-licious
I didn't blog yesterday because I wasn't in the mood. Oh, but here are two family pictures I didn't include in my last impressive post. The reason I missed them in my email is because they didn't include the words "photo" "picture" or "family" when they were sent to me. Dudes, I wasn't gonna literally … Continue reading Ned, Dick Whitman, Hulk, and some gay man
My new driver's license is here! It's not nearly as bad a picture as the last one I took, back in 2007. In that one I looked like I'd been dragged from the river. I sort of have cute hair in this one. Those rings around my head happen all the time. Speaking of pictures, … Continue reading We are family. I got all my pictures with me.
I finally dragged my unwell arse over here to the computer to tell you my every symptom in disgusting detail, and then I got waylaid by a hard-hitting story on the Internet (and by the way. News flash for the hilarious jokesters: "Interwebs." Stop. Just stop.) about how Rob Pattinson was on Jon Stewart last … Continue reading June Girly Brown. Aka, June does not feel really what you’d call “well.”
I schlepped to the bagel store today and am currently eating an Asiago Parmesan bagel with bacon scallion cream cheese and a tomato. I am totally Ned right now. "GodDAMMIT, this is good." The other night I was lying in bed with the radio on. Moonlight falls like rain. Soft summer nights spent thinking of … Continue reading England June. Also Dudley June Right. Also, locomotive.
So I turned down that job after all. I KNOW! I was just talking on the phone with my friend Dottie, and I said, "I'd better go. I have to tell everyone on my blog about this and I dread it." Dottie pointed out that I wasn't obligated to tell you all ANYTHING, but I … Continue reading June. Back to being a drain on society.