And what you say about his company is WHAT YOU SAY–oh shoot me now.

Good gravy, this day has been ridiculous already and now I have to rush through this post, but I will not be playing Rush in this post. heeeeee.... Last night I got up with Dick Whitman, as I said I was gonna do, and we sat up at the bar, because all we did was … Continue reading And what you say about his company is WHAT YOU SAY–oh shoot me now.

Pie Society

Ohmyho, your comments yesterday were DA BOMB. And "ohmyho" is only funny if you READ the comments. Which, really? Really? You don't read the COMMENTS? You have no idea what you are missing. That's like not squeezing the white frostingy stuff on your Danish-Go-Round. Was it Danish-Go-Rounds that came with the kind of vanilla-orangey super-good-for-you … Continue reading Pie Society

Ugh. And no, I have not turned into a Native American. Don’t throw your litter, though. That would bring a tear.

Had a dreadful day yesterday, which unfortunately I cannot tell you about. Not every tidbit makes its way onto my blog. And dear person who thinks, Oh! I'm June's Special Reader! I'll email her and ask! Yeah, no. Thanks. Thanks so much. (No, Ned and I did not remotely break up. No, seeing Daniel Boone … Continue reading Ugh. And no, I have not turned into a Native American. Don’t throw your litter, though. That would bring a tear.

Corinthian leather. Wait. That wasn’t the Volare, was it? I don’t care. I like to say, “Corinthian leather.” Cause it’s a thing. Is what it is.

Lately, there has been a bird outside my window in the morning who whistles Volare. I am not making that up.   I wonder if the bird has a perm? Apparently it's autumn here in North Carolina, finally, which is good, because the summer here is like the winter where I grew up, in Michigan. … Continue reading Corinthian leather. Wait. That wasn’t the Volare, was it? I don’t care. I like to say, “Corinthian leather.” Cause it’s a thing. Is what it is.

Do you know what’d be hilarious? Is if I said, “Life’s a beach.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!

That guy is screwed. This weekend, Ned and I went to Wilmington, which in case you live in Poland or Ethiopia (I am HUGE in Ethiopia) (well, I probably would be huge in Ethiopia) or are just really stupid or something, Wilmington is a town in North Carolina that happens to be right next to … Continue reading Do you know what’d be hilarious? Is if I said, “Life’s a beach.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!

In which Ned returns. And June has a big week of naming her posts “In which.”

Last night, my friend Hibiscus Wilson had a fundraiser for animals, and she invited me. Because you may not know this, but when it comes to animals, I am kind of a fan. She had it at her downtown office, which is coincidentally where Ned lives, and did I mention Ned has been out of … Continue reading In which Ned returns. And June has a big week of naming her posts “In which.”

In which June outs Lilly, and many blurry photos are taken.

Yesterday afternoon, I got an email from my pal Lilly. Not my cat Lily. My friend Lilly the person. "So, you're sad without Ned," she wrote. "I am. It's ridiculous," I said. "Chris is gone, too, and I am similarly ridiculous. Want to come over for dinner? You can help me with barn chores!" Now, … Continue reading In which June outs Lilly, and many blurry photos are taken.

In which Ned meets Belle Watling

I can tell you now, because he's pretty much headed out of there, but Ned was in Las Vegas for work. He is a professional Celine Dion impersonator. He was supposed to leave Tuesday afternoon (TUESSSSDAYYY AAAAAFTERNOON! Who sings that depressing old song?), and I was gonna be all CUNextTuesday and so forth (my favorite … Continue reading In which Ned meets Belle Watling

I think I was talking about Lulu, and how it must’ve sucked to be around all the other pretty Hee Haw actresses. Is how that got started.

I got no time to talk  to you, girl. I just got back from the vet, where Edsel had his stitches removed. not to do to edz agan, mom. He had a reaction to his sutures, they call them "sutures" there to make it all fancy and justify the part where it cost $34949494, so … Continue reading I think I was talking about Lulu, and how it must’ve sucked to be around all the other pretty Hee Haw actresses. Is how that got started.

Ack

I haven't wanted to haunt the fire department with 6,000 emails and calls. "How's Violet?" "How's Violet now?" "Whaddup with Vi?" so I waited until yesterday. They emailed me back. "Violet/Sparkles is doing great. She has the bed we got her, but she also made a bed for herself in the day room. She is … Continue reading Ack

My Weekend, by June “Tap” Gardens

Yesterday in the comments, someone linked us to an old movie called State Fair and one of the actors listed in the credits was Edward "Tap" Canutt, and for some reason this killed me. And by the way, if you ever wish to torture me, link me to several Rogers and Hammerstein musicals such as … Continue reading My Weekend, by June “Tap” Gardens