...friend/Ned · June's stupid life

Man’s headaches stop after ax is removed from his head

I saw that headline once in the Weekly World News and I spit up. Migraine today. Talk like Indian. Sorry. Talk like Native American. Ned and I made up. We made up about four hours after I blogged yesterday, but I enjoyed reading all your theories. Could you have all been more dramatic? HE'S CHEATING!… Continue reading Man’s headaches stop after ax is removed from his head

Beauty products · Hair · June's stupid life

How many of them hormones you been takin’, honey?

I just thought of that line from Fried Green Tomatoes and I like it. In reality I am taking zero hormones. In the immortal words of my grandfather, "How do you make a hormone? Don't pay her." Hello! I plan to make no sense today whatsoever. It's the hormones. My grandfather also used to say,… Continue reading How many of them hormones you been takin’, honey?

June's stupid life · Not Grace Kelly

In which all four pets are shown. You’re welcome.

I thought I'd tell you about my day yesterday, as supposedly that's what this blog is about and I really don't often just recap a day. Mostly because that sounds boring. As opposed to The Riveting that is this blog. I hadn't had time to get the dogs at daycare on Sunday because they close… Continue reading In which all four pets are shown. You’re welcome.

...friend/Ned · Family · Friends · June's stupid life · Photo essays

June captures her trip on film. Story at 11:00.

I just got home from Michigan, and man, what a short, fun ride THAT is, but the good news is Ned and I still like each other. Which, you know. Twenty-six hours in the car with somebody, plus the whole meeting-the-family thing, it was touch and go. But we're still a go. I put my… Continue reading June captures her trip on film. Story at 11:00.

...friend/Ned · Friends · June's stupid life

Great Scot

Sadly for Ned, what he mostly saw of my home town yesterday was the inside of a bar. And that bar was the Scottish ridiculous Inn. I am unsure if they've officially added the "ridiculous" portion to their name, but trust me, it needs doing. When Ned agreed to come home with me for THANKSgiving,… Continue reading Great Scot

...friend/Ned · Family · June's stupid life

June returns from standing in line at Walmart at 4 a.m. to blog. Also, pfft.

I hope you're holding on to your seats. because my mother got a NEW COMPUTER and I do not have the usual, "The 1812 Overture called. Wants its computer back" joke that I normally have for you when I am here. And for that I am sure you are saddened. I just totally felt up… Continue reading June returns from standing in line at Walmart at 4 a.m. to blog. Also, pfft.

...friend/Ned · Film · Food and Drink · Friends · June's stupid life · Music

“They know not if it’s dark outside or light.”

Can you please tell me what I forgot to pack? Because you know I forgot some such nonsense, as I always do. Usually I get to my destination and I'm all, "Oh, I forgot pants!" Then I walk around like Donald Duck for the rest of my trip. Or I'll bring the contacts that are… Continue reading “They know not if it’s dark outside or light.”

I hate everything · June's stupid life

To top it off I’m late for work. Sssssssugar.

By the end of yesterday, I hated everything and my dogs feared me. we skare When we last left each other, kissing at the train station--and thanks for running along the length of the depot, there, while I pulled away--I was about to work before work, and work I did. So then by the time… Continue reading To top it off I’m late for work. Sssssssugar.

June's stupid life · Pieces of Wisdom

In which I’ve totally become Linda Richman

Sadly, I have a deadline to meet before I go to work today (dudes, I KNOW) (can you DIE from proofreading?), so I leave you with a simple question. Who is worse, people who think they're smart but really aren't, or people who think they're funny but really aren't? I realize I fall into both… Continue reading In which I’ve totally become Linda Richman

...friend/Ned · June's stupid life · Not Grace Kelly

Party in my pans

This is the first chance I've had to talk to you all weekend, as I have been work work working, then Ned-ing. When he came to get me at NINE-THIRTY last night, because I wasn't done slaving till then, I was huge-haired and in a robe. "I'm readier than I look. Want some wine while… Continue reading Party in my pans

Faithful Readers · Family · Friends · June's stupid life · My pets · Uncle Jim

June’s list. Which isn’t nearly as heroic as Shindler’s.

Thanks, everyone, for all your what-makes-life-worth-living comments yesterday. I guess for me it'd have to include: Kittens, of course. Puppies, of course. Adult dogs and cats and also leopards which I wish to kiss on the head not to mention llamas and really everyone in the animal kingdom except some bugs and reptiles. (One thing… Continue reading June’s list. Which isn’t nearly as heroic as Shindler’s.

June's stupid life · Pieces of Wisdom

Really, Cezanne’s fruit never does it for me

Once again I gots no time to blog. Today I have to scream over to Der Vagen Haus, or maybe it's Wagen Haus, whichever, to get my car fixed. One good thing about working ALL THE TIME is I can at least afford now to get my car fixed. So I'm off. The car repair… Continue reading Really, Cezanne’s fruit never does it for me

Film · June's stupid life · Music

Ho. Hey. You’ll be singing that all day.

I love this song.   I have to run to the doctor to see how my plantar fasciitis is doing, or Plantation Fascist, as my coworker The Poet would call it. I guess I cannot literally run there, seeing as I do have the Plantation Fascist. Ned assures me they can't give me another shot… Continue reading Ho. Hey. You’ll be singing that all day.

June's stupid life · Photo essays

: (. LOL! (Could not hate self more.)

Before I forget, because you know how I am and I know I STILL owe someone Abraham Lincoln band-aids and I have no idea who, I wanted to announce that we're gonna do the "send-me-a-picture-from-your-Thanksgiving" thing again, even though it liked to kill me last time. The rules are these. Send me ONE (Joann) photo… Continue reading : (. LOL! (Could not hate self more.)

...friend/Ned · June's stupid life · Sports

In which you say, “We have to hear about ANOTHER football game June attended? We totally read about this already in her 1982 post.”

So, my friend TinaDoris had tickets to the football game, and she IMd me at work. (Dear Work, Usually TinaDoris and I keep our noses to the grindstone. Love, June. Worky June.) "Would Ned want tickets to the NC State game this Saturday?" she asked, knowing that's where Ned went to school and knowing he… Continue reading In which you say, “We have to hear about ANOTHER football game June attended? We totally read about this already in her 1982 post.”