I know you've all been pacing the waiting room, drinking bad coffee, and saying things to each other like, "Go home. Get your rest. You'll need your strength" and then "NO! I want to BE here for JUNE!" but the wait is over. I seem to be on the mend from my cold. I was… Continue reading andPatty (that’s only funny if you read yesterday’s comments)
Last night, after leaving work an hour early and heading to Ned's to look at his cat, who was perfectly fine without me and who wonders why the HELL I bother her, I went home and got into some sexy pajamas and turned on my fixed TV. That was the longest, most convoluted sentence ever.… Continue reading I think I’m dumb. Maybe just happy.
Officially calling in sick to own blog today. Feel dreadful. Since I can't work up the energy to write, I say we make today Unsolicited Advice Day. You know how I write stuff? About my life? And don't ask for any advice? Yet I GET it all the time? And sometimes I'll reply to your… Continue reading Say, did I mention I feel under the weather?
At least, as a single childless person, when I'm sick like this I really don't have to function. It's not like I have to get up to get some kid off to school. So there's that. Hey, how're y'all? I have a cold. I know that when I have a cold, I do not carry… Continue reading June reports from her cold. She never drones on when she has a cold. Fortunately.
But I'm getting a cat scan. Sent from my phone. Which means I'm one of those tools emailing in public somewhere.
Currently I have the personality of a MOP because GUESS WHAT, another MIGRAINE and I basically hate self and wish to die. I finished that Prednisone I was taking, which, hooray, I can sleep again and speak at a regular slow-ish pace and not raise the roof, literally, and so forth, but now, yay. Migraines… Continue reading In which June discusses open floor plans and the tuna taco. Tune in, won’t you? Tuna in, won’t you? BAH!
You know, every workday morning, the alarm goes off, and I hit snooze, and Lily is on top of me, and I hit snooze again and my POINT is, every time I get here to blog I go, MOTHER OF GOD WHY IS IT SO LATE ALREADY? Today I figured out my goddamn alarm clock… Continue reading Greensboro Medium, or sometimes Large, if it runs small.
A few days ago, my ex-husband Marvin had a dentist appointment in our neighborhood. Marvin doesn't even live in Greensboro anymore, and I don't know why he doesn't switch from our old dentist, but who am I to nag him? I have handed the baton of nagging duties to his next wife. The point is,… Continue reading Ex files
I wish I could begin to tell you how happy it makes me to announce I am DONE WITH ALL FREELANCE WORK as of 10 minutes ago. Aaaaand I finally got the certificates and stuff from our fine U.S. government that will allow that Polish company to finally pay me. Does anyone remember all fall,… Continue reading Thirty effing ith
About 76 weeks ago, I got the brilliant idea that all y'all all should send me your photos, because YOU get to see ME, but I never get to see YOU. Which reminds me of that one Sex and the City episode where Big keeps saying, "SHE can get ahold of me, but I can… Continue reading BLOG PHOTO.
I had one of those run-aroundy weekends, so I didn't get to write you. Were you sad? Did every second feel like an hour without me? My "Dear Ned" anniversary post, my Very Special Bye Bye Pie Dear Ned anniversary post, I wrote on one of my lunch hours at some point last week. I… Continue reading JLo without the ass
Dear Ned, A year ago today I was feeling distinctly nauseated. The part where I was getting over a ridiculous stomach virus did not help matters one iota, but mostly I was nauseated because today was the day we were going to have our first date. And I already knew I was doomed. We'd been… Continue reading In which June dates Ned for one year.
We're having a big snowstorm--"big" for people in the South--and I smell a gas leak. So the gas co. very dramatically told me to EVACUATE the house and wait for them to come save me, but I've smelled this gas leak over by my stove before, and it's SNOWY out there. I.am.sure. So I'm blogging… Continue reading May 14, 1982 and also STORM WATCH! 2013!!!
Awhile back, Ned showed me a picture of him at junior prom in high school. He had the same girlfriend throughout high school and even into college some, and she is still a good friend, so he basically has the same sitch with her I got going with my ex-boyfriend Cardinal. Cardinal and I dated… Continue reading June at 16
Last night, after I came home and WENT TO SLEEP for two hours, because news flash, three hours at night is not enough, I got up and looked at your songs you listed for me yesterday, then listened to most of them on iTunes. I even bought some! Was not at all annoyed with Faithful… Continue reading Got a light?
I slept for three hours last night. BUT I'M 20 PAGES AHEAD ON MY FREELANCE WORK!!!! Oy. Saw Ned last night, to try to make up for lost time over this past weekend. I brought him some of my chili, which he said was good and then he did the thing he always does which… Continue reading Say! You know what’ll screw you up? Prednisone.
Wow. That blonde chick wearing the dress I wore to prom in 1983? Digging the mom hair. I guess this was before they insisted that actually hot girls be in videos. And what I like about Rick James is his subtle use of analogy and poetic imagery in his songs. He's so indirect. By the… Continue reading Has anyone seen where I put my hair glitter?
Oh my god I will never sleep again. Does anyone have anything to EAT?????
I just took my first dose of Prednisone and I'm sitting here waiting to bloat up like a tick. I expect I'll have big moon Jerry Lewis face by next week, right? On Friday-- That reminds me of a story. Who is your most annoying friend? Is it old June, here? But it does. When… Continue reading In which June burns up and hits the ‘roids. Chatty description to follow. HI, EVERYONE! I’M ON ‘ROIDS!!!
Time is UP for sending me your picture. I have a busy weekend ahead of me, so I know I won't be able to cut and paste all eleven frillion of your photos in the next few days. Also, am super-original using "frillion." Ned left yesterday to take this ridiculous class, which lasts today, Saturday… Continue reading In which Ned attends a girl parts/makeup/puppy seminar