Honestly, I think my alarm is going off AFTER 7:00, because it seems like after I hit snooze 7949599 times and get up, it's always some shocking time like 7:49. My point is, it's late and Ima scream out this post in a hurry and it'll have errors and make no sense and READ ON and also those of you who thrive on telling me when I make a typo will have a field day today.

IMG_3145I have another statistics textbook to proofread, which is good because yay, money, so I started it last night after fake work. My pets like it when I'm just sitting there motionless on the couch. Since I no longer have a damn TV I am not doing that a lot anymore. Am I missing the Real Housewives? I am, aren't I? 

IMG_3147Edsel played it cool from across the room. Because that's the way of his people, as you know. Cool, calm, distant.

IMG_3146Here's assistant editor Talu snuggled next to my work. If I miss anything, she paws at me like Lassie. "Is something the matter, girl? Did Timmy forget a semi-colon?" Actually, the owner of the statistics textbook company abhors semi-colons. When I'm done reading the whole book, I have to go back and do an electronic search; every time I come across two full sentences separated by a semi-colon the way I just did, I have to PLUCK IT OUT. PLUCK!

Yes, my job IS fascinating. And never tedious. But again, cash money! Word.

In other news, y'all have been sending in your BLOG PHOTOs like banshees. I mean, you've literally come over here all wailing. It's kind of eerie. I cannot imagine how long it's gonna take me to put them all up, but I have enjoyed seeing what you all look like, and sometimes you'e written nice little notes. 

Speaking of pictures, my friend at work The Poet sent me a makeover site, and guess who made an error, there? Who has been innundated with the many, many looks of June, do you think? Beyonce-hair June. Pixie-cut June.

The New JuneWhat say you to strawberry June? No matter WHOSE hair I put on, no one's was as fat as mine. My real hair is always splooking out on the sides.

PlatinumJunePlatinum June. I also plumped my lips and whitened my teeth. I love makeover sites. Oh, and the natural mascara, do you like that? I practically HAVE those lashes now, with my Latisse. Speaking of which, a faithful reader emailed me that she bought Latisse and had a terrible reaction and did I want hers, which, YAY! Someone's suffering is GREAT NEWS FOR ME!!!!

Before you FREAK OUT, you put Latisse on these disposable brushes, so it's not like I'm having eyelash sex with a stranger. "Latisse is POISON to dogs, June!"

Ima go now, as it's late and I will come to work as Bedraggled June, but let me know which hair color I should pick. Keep in mind my hair will never do either of those smoove looks.

XO, The Late June 

142 thoughts on “The new June Brady!

  1. Pamela Soul Sister #2 says:

    I don’t use Outlook either. Took me the longest to realize I didn’t have to when I first got my laptop.
    The address is byebyepieblog@gmail.com

    Like

  2. Alamy says:

    Mine was doing the same thing, Linda…right click on the email me and an option to copy the email address should pop up, then you can open your usual email and just paste it in.

    Like

  3. Linda in CO says:

    Does anyone know the email address I send my BLOG PHOTO to? When I click on Email Me up above, it tries to open Outlook and I don’t use Outlook for my mail. Thanks for any help.
    I prefer the red to the blonde, but I really prefer the June to either of the two.

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  4. Amish Annie/Paul says:

    Cora’s mother…good one. Not an impossibility methinks.

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  5. Amish Annie/Paul says:

    Oh if I wasn’t so brainless tonight, I would totally join in on this DA fun.
    PSS#2 who the heck is Martha Levinson?

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  6. Tee says:

    Mother, your hair is beautiful.

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  7. Pamela Soul Sister #2 says:

    Hah!
    And the Dowager Countess and Martha Levinson become lovers.

    Like

  8. Letha, these are SAFE to read says:

    Some more Downton spoilers for you:
    In light of the staff shortage, Carson agrees to Chinet and sporks.
    Down at the pub, Mrs Patmore (sp) shoots a bulls-eye.
    Thomas joins the Peace Corps.

    Like

  9. Mother says:

    The makeover blond isn’t a good color, but when you color your hair blond, it is very flattering. Red is too harsh in real life. Blond used to be your natural color when you were a little girl, and you look very pretty in it. It bet your white (not gray) hair would be outstanding as your mother has such lovely white hair.

    Like

  10. Peter, who thinks June is perfect as she is, but . . . says:

    Am I going to get slapped if I say you would look hot as a platinum blonde?
    Oh, and how about a little glitter on your cleavage?
    Only kidding.

    Like

  11. Barbinmilwaukee says:

    Mom, I thinks I mite’ve bit yur cabl cord oops. Love, Edsul

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  12. June Gardens says:

    Just Google "makeover site"
    Sent from my phone. Which means I'm one of those tools emailing in public somewhere.

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  13. Pamela Soul Sister #2 says:

    Sorry Sandra…but it’s so hilarious! Had to share.

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  14. Maybe I missed it, but after skimming all the responses did no one ask “What is this fabulous site where you can see what you look like with different color hair?” Must know. I need to come up with more ways to fritter away time.

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  15. sandra says:

    I’d buy one!

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  16. June Gardens says:

    There goes my next coffee cup for sale: This kinda weird over a blog internet boob flirting wacking or whatever

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  17. sandra says:

    And whoever recommended the nymag.com recap of the housewives: there goes my productivity at work, I have done nothing but read up on all the episodes I missed!

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  18. sandra says:

    I have not had any action in a looong time, so please let me enjoy this kinda weird over a blog internet boob flirting wacking or whatever.

    Like

  19. Summer says:

    I don’t even know what is going on in the comments anymore. I checked out at “anal bleaching,” which I hope is just a Bridesmaids reference and not a sponsored BBP activity.
    ANYway, Strawberry June gets my vote.

    Like

  20. sandra says:

    Oh Helen, how I wish I could come and visit and you could support me as my girls get tucked into the proper bra. If Oprah likes it, it has to be good. I agree that she is second to Jesus!

    Like

  21. Laurie says:

    Sounds like a great site. If you want to see strawberry red bozo check out my picture on the pie under Laurie’s Amanda. The sun will come out tomorrow, tomorrow…….

    Like

  22. June Gardens says:

    I can do that on the makeover site with my original hair. With all this volume, I'm thinking Bozo.

    Like

  23. Laurie says:

    Change to strawberry and you’ll then get to go shopping for new make-up and a new wardrobe. Perks, perks and more perks.
    If you send me the original picture I can show you what your hair would look like as strawberry fluff. (Might not be able to do such until tomorrow)

    Like

  24. June Gardens says:

    DID I NOT ALSO SAY I WENT TO BELT?

    Like

  25. LauraL, says:

    Victoria’s Secret? Really? You trust those high school chickies to know what they’re doing?
    Tsk, tsk, tsk…
    Also, I read “Women’s Missionary Union” as “women in Missionary position.” Was a little confused for a second there.

    Like

  26. Nithya says:

    Firstly, here’s a good place to watch anything illegally. Aaarrrgh, pirate up!
    http://www.solarmovie.so/tv/search/the+real+housewives/
    Secondly come get measured in the UK, I did not get touched once. They told me that they don’t bother with the tape since one brand’s 32D isn’t another brand’s 32D. They just looked at me in different bras and said helpful things like “it rides up here so we need a smaller back” or “there’s a bulge here so we need a bigger cup” and now I know what I’m looking for.
    Thirdly…I don’t have a thirdly. A list of two just doesn’t feel right.

    Like

  27. Hulk A gentleman has rules says:

    Your hoots are spoken for…

    Like

  28. June Gardens says:

    Oh my god! I talk about my hoots ALL DAY and Hulk remains wack-free. One mention from Sandra and off he goes.

    Like

  29. Deb who is right (even when wrong) says:

    06 March 2012
    It was a self measurement site. You were a 32DDD. But maybe later you went and actually had a real woman do the hands on work. GOD it is exhausting tracking your every boob move.

    Like

  30. Hulk This won't take long says:

    sandra topless???
    Uhhh…I gotta go…

    Like

  31. June Gardens says:

    I can't remember. That might have been. But I also got measured at both Belt, as my mother would say, and also Victoria's Secret.

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  32. Deb says:

    I thought that was a self measurement? I remember I did it and got some hideous number as well.

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  33. June Gardens says:

    Or was it 32DDD? Crap.

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  34. June Gardens says:

    You know, how could you guys FORGET I got measured? Remember how I discovered I'm a 36DDD? I went on about that for weeks.

    Like

  35. June Gardens says:

    Ima go say , "Bless your heart" to Poochie if she keeps fucking coughing over there in her office.

    Like

  36. Amy in MD says:

    If June has Winnebagos, then I have Mini Coopers. Sporty, but not capacious. Winnebagos seem like they would lead to back problems.

    Like

  37. BStar says:

    If southern women have commandments, trust me, they are not unspoken. You know. Just watch out if they say, “Bless your heart.” It’s almost as bad as a flying liver.

    Like

  38. Amish Annie/Paul says:

    MissPam made me laugh when she said southern woman commandments. Then I scratched my head thinking hmmmm, maybe there really is unspoken southern woman commandments. Are there? What are they?

    Like

  39. Helen says:

    Sandra if you want to make a trip to New England, just 15 minutes away from me is one of the bra fitting places RECOMMENDED BY OPRAH. Who I realize is not Jesus but might be second. Anyhoots (ha!) while I have not had it done, I have several friends who have and as one friend said, “they picked my girls up and tucked them right into the bra.” But the main reason to do it is that you get information. So another friend went and bought just one bra from them but now knows how to fit herself properly as they give you all sorts of tips.
    And Miss Pam? When you wrote Women’s Missionary Union, I immediately thought ‘WMU’ which is really a huge blast from my past as my daddy was a Southern Baptist Preacher back in the day.

    Like

  40. Carol in Bama says:

    Looks like Ms Lue is rocking the rakish ear style today. And does poor Edsel not have ANY friends? Every time I see him he is lurking on the outer edges of the pack, just looking sad.

    Like

  41. Anita says:

    Deb, June said she has had all sorts of grooming stuff done, just name it. And so I did. But she hasn’t responded one way or another. Hmmm.

    Like

  42. sandra says:

    I just need to get over myself I guess. Winnebagos, he he he!

    Like

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