We're having a big snowstorm–"big" for people in the South–and I smell a gas leak. So the gas co. very dramatically told me to EVACUATE the house and wait for them to come save me, but I've smelled this gas leak over by my stove before, and it's SNOWY out there. I.am.sure.

So I'm blogging to you and waiting to blow up. If this ends suddenly you'll know.

Am expecting warning-filled email from my father as soon as he reads this.

So, yeah. It snowed.
IMG_3184Yes, folks, THIS has caused a two-hour delay of work, and I promise you school is closed, although I don't know for a fact. But having lived with schoolteacher Marvin and his home-all-the-time-in-winter self, I feel confident. Many children watching The Price is Right today. Is that what people still do on a snow day?

They had been PREDICTING and WARNING us all day, but I had a hair appointment yesterday after work, and Las Vegas kept calling me to star in their Ludwig van Beethoven/General Custer/Albert Einstein tribute show, so no three-to-seven-inches-of-precipitation was stopping ME from fixing this mess. Sadly, my hairdresser is in another town, and why can't anything ever be easy?

"Ooo, it's starting to snow!" she said as she snipped. They were big white beautiful flakes. Less than an hour later, as I paid, I noticed everything was already covered. "Dang!" I said, kind of worrying a little.

IMG_3178My hairdresser took a picture of me leaving her salon, which in my head I just pronounced SAAAlooon, like the guy in the Tres Semme commercials. I mean, for us, this is snow.

I had plans to see an old friend of mine, who lives in the town where I now get my hair cut. We'd worked together and had been in a book club and are both obsessed with Mad Men, and we were excited to reunite. Our plan was to meet at Starbucks, because we were in a rollicking town that wasn't gonna have much else open past 8:00. But when we got there?

Effing Starbucks. Closed. BECAUSE OF THE STORM! THE HORRID STORM!

Good gravy.

So we had decaf at his apartment, and on the drive over I called Ned to tell him about the change in plans, because somehow announcing ahead of time that I was partayying with my decaf at some guy's apartment seemed less unseemly than telling him after.

"This snow is great," said Ned. "I wish you were here." So who, like an idiot, schlepped over to Ned's after her coffee, risking life and limb just so she could watch Ned have a snow beer? ("Snow beer is the best kind of beer," Ned announced.) Oh my GOD, that drive was scary. The snow was coming at me so big-ly and dramatically that after awhile it seemed like giant spiders or fireworks were crashing at my car. Because giant spiders and fireworks hang out together a lot.

IMG_3182
I sneaked in a photo of Ned headed to snow beer. He also kept throwing snowballs at things, which as a girl is something it never occurs to me to do.

There were NEWS CREWS out reporting on THE BIG STORM, and many snow beer bars were closed, a thing that stuck in my craw. This snow's a night in APRIL in Michigan. Grow a snowy pair, people. Jesus.

Did you see where some wisenheimer said, "At least Lance Armstrong had the ball to tell the truth"? Bah!

Anyway. After we sat on the second story of the one bar that was open, and watched the snow fall, I made it home okay, and the dogs couldn't care less about the whole damn thing. I thought maybe they'd lift it with their snouts and prance around, but mostly they're all, "we cowld, mom. to let in now."

But none of this is why I've gathered you all here today. If you read me yesterday, and why didn't you, DICK, I told you that Ned recently showed me a picture of him and his prom date in 1982, and I told him I had a picture of ME and my wedding date from that very same day. This led me to get all excited because it was a blogging opportunity, and basically I am very uninteresting.

So without further ado, because I just got my hair done yesterday, here are Ned's and my photos:

Prom 1Have you fallen over dead yet? Are you too busy clasping your own hands to fall over dead?

Wait, here's another one of Ned from the same day. I mean, maybe it was a totally different day and they just slipped on these outfits again. I could be wrong.

Prom 2I pointed out to Ned that he never brings me a wrist corsage.

Ned thinks he looks like a muppet in these photos, which by the way kills me, but you know he's cute. Look how, you know, sixteen he is. And I know his date, they are still friends to this day, and they stand around posed like this whenever they're together, and my point is, she doesn't look that different. She really doesn't.

Okay, now me.

Scan 12The only clasping WE were doing was some hormone-filled clasping of each other. And I don't want you to get all excited, but on my hand is the infamous class ring you've heard so much about. I KNOW.

God, Cardinal looks six years old. Oh I used to think he was the shizzle.

Oh, thank god. The gas man is here. To take my blues away. Blow up at ya later.

0 thoughts on “May 14, 1982 and also STORM WATCH! 2013!!!

  1. There’s something about June’s date’s expression that unsettles me.

    Like

  2. I didn’t get in on the conversation yesterday afternoon or I would have said the same thing, Sadie. Right before the wrap of the first Star Wars? Or right after? And at first I thought I remembered a motorcycle accident, because they had to put his skull back together. It must have been a doozy of a car wreck…

    Like

  3. Nacho says:

    We provide wedding supercar hire & wedding sports car hire for that special occasion. Helping your special day with our luxury car hire.http://www.bentleyhire.co.uk/

    Like

  4. Nithya says:

    You and Cardinal look like film teens with your confidence and stuff. Need and his date are much more how I remember my teen years.

    Like

  5. Ned and his date look like they are soccer goalies waiting for the penalty kick.

    Like

  6. Sadie says:

    If I remember correctly, Mark Hamill was in a bad car accident in 1977 that damaged his face. So that is probably why y’all think he hasn’t aged well.

    Like

  7. Tee says:

    A very long time ago, when I was in high school, when your boy friend gave you his class ring, you would melt wax in it to make it fit your finger or wear it on a chain around your neck. That meant you were going steady and only dated him.

    Like

  8. Tee says:

    Loved the 1982 photos. All of you were so cute!
    The gas leak? First thought, the pilot light was out on your stove.
    That kind of snow would have definitely shut Atlanta down for DAYS. There was no snow here and there were delayed school openings. There was concern about black ice on the roads. PJ, the transformer panic cracked me up.

    Like

  9. sara with an (h) says:

    Snow beer is actually the world’s most popular beer. It is a pale ale from China, I think… Google it

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  10. Linda in CO says:

    June, when you’re not busy working, just google Mark Hamill and look at images. Not pretty, but can definitely see a Nedsemblance around the eyes.

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  11. Deb says:

    Eds didn’t start the fire, it was always burning, since the gas man’s returning.

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  12. Leeuna says:

    Oh that stupid gas man! I hate people who would ignore sweet little Edsel’s luvins. He could have given him a kiss and a hug around the neck at least. It always makes me angry when someone ignores my pets.

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  13. Megsie says:

    Edz jumped into a burning ring of fire for that gas man…

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  14. Megsie says:

    Oh, I second the Princess Leia buns that Laurie spoke of. Be sure to have a hidden camera so weeee can beeee there tooooooo!

    Like

  15. Heather P says:

    No not “bitch lips”. I must have watched too much Once Upon A Time, Mr. Gold aka Rumplestilskin calls everyone dearie!

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  16. Deb says:

    Amish is on fire! So to speak.

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  17. June Gardens says:

    Okay, at work and deadline so not now! June's readers. Trying to get her fired since 2008. Succeeding twice since 2008.

    Like

  18. June Gardens says:

    All of that, yes. But in all seriousness, gas man + Edsel = simper. He had no dignity. As always. Gas man could not have been more indifferent to Edsel's love.

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  19. June Gardens says:

    "Dearie." Heather's version of "bitch lips" since 2013.

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  20. Amish Annie says:

    Maybe David *Byrne* was the gas man.

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  21. June Gardens says:

    What does aged Luke Skywalker even look like? How do any of you know this information? Also, I have no time to talk to you. Stop being interesting.

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  22. Deb says:

    If Edsel had a talking head he would ask the gas man to go be burning down the house.

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  23. Laurie says:

    I don’t think you should mention the look-a-like talk to Ned. Just simply show up with your hair in Princess Leia buns.
    How much of your hair did you have cut? Difficult to discern with your fur collared coat. As opposed to fur covered coat.

    Like

  24. June Gardens says:

    edzul haff eternul flayme for gas man.

    Like

  25. Heather P says:

    Must see photo!! Post to FB please!

    Like

  26. Amish Annie says:

    Ooooohhhhh a photo!! June, share when you have time please.

    Like

  27. Amish Annie says:

    Okay Anita, your car guesses were:
    Cadillac
    Javelin
    Regal
    Datsun
    My husband’s guesses were:
    Chevy Caprice
    Javelin
    Monte Carlo
    Foreign
    What I’m wondering is if Ned remembers that Javelin or rode in it.

    Like

  28. Anita says:

    June, I just sent you a photo of you and Ned. I must go clean now.
    Enjoy.

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  29. June Gardens says:

    Ned HAAAAATES the Luke Skywalker thing. Oh, he's gonna be annoyed. May or may not be giggling re this.

    Like

  30. Heather P says:

    Well dearie since I’ve never lived where it snowed a lot, I didn’t know. The only thing I’ve ever heard of was Snow Cream, where you make ice cream from snow. So I didn’t know if Snow Beer was a drink made of snow and beer or what!

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  31. Vicky...luvin June's Prairie Dress says:

    Does anybody but me ever wonder what the people that lived in those very modern asymetrical shaped cedar covered houses think of their house now? in 2013? Huh?

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  32. June Gardens says:

    OH FOR GOD'S SAKE. Snow beer is just beer you drink while it's snowing. I mean, what else WOULD it be?

    Like

  33. Amish Annie says:

    Edsel’s heart was burning for the gas man.

    Like

  34. Deb says:

    The gas man is Edsel’s sky pilot, how high can he fly? He’ll never, never, never reach the sky.

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  35. Deb says:

    Edsel gave him the slow burn with his eyes.

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  36. Heather P says:

    Yes, Ned has aged much better.

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  37. Linda in CO says:

    HeatherP, he DOES look like a young Mark Hamill, but Ned has aged MUCH better.

    Like

  38. June Gardens says:

    The gas man really lit Edsel's fire.

    Like

  39. What is snow beer?
    Does any one else think that young Ned is the spitting image of Mark ‘Luke Skywalker’ Hamil? Please don’t kill me June!

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  40. PJ says:

    And how did the Edz like the gas man? Or is he strictly a fireman guy? Gas men really don’t have the hats…

    Like

  41. Linda in CO says:

    I love Ned’s closed-mouth smile. He probably had some idea about how his teeth looked or how a guy is supposed to smile, like my kids do when the camera comes out, so he couldn’t relax. He still looks incredibly cute (as does his date).
    Cardinal IS the shizzle. If I were 16 and had a date that looked like him, he’d probably have his way with me. The guy I dated when I was 16 looked nothing like Cardinal and did not get past first (or maybe second) base.
    I too want to know what snow beer is. And your hair looks fabulous, even in the snow.

    Like

  42. Helen who was young and thin once too says:

    Someone should totally do that. Isn’t there a great photoshopper in the Pie Friends group?

    Like

  43. Deb who thinks the innocent white dress was a ruse to throw off the adults says:

    Forearm corsage. By the end of the night she must have tilted left.
    And Ned was such a typically skinny boy in a man size tux. So innocent and cute. Wonder what time Ned dropped her home? And then there is your photo – you can smell the hormones through the computer. Did you even make it home that night?
    I love that staircase behind you and Cardinal.
    Thanks for sharing.

    Like

  44. kim says:

    June, were you wearing a nightgown? Because I have to say, I really expected some sort of pink cupcake confection from you.

    Like

  45. Pamela Soul Sister #2 says:

    Adorable! Thanks for sharing those photos with us.
    You are so right about the innocent look on Ned and his date, contrasted with the it’s-about-to-go-down looks on yours and Cardinal’s.

    Like

  46. You know, if you photoshop hormoaning June with nut clasping Ned, June’s arm would fit nicely on top of his.

    Like

  47. PJ says:

    Hijack. I never gain weight over the holidays because I don’t eat all that crap (go ahead, hate me, I can take it) but this year…Harry and David…Mother of all Towers. I just realized this morning that I have developed a serious sugar addiction. And 3 1/2 lbs.
    I binged so bad on sugar during the power outage (who could see?) and this morning first thing, needed sugar or I would kill. Squirrel was too fast.
    Dying here.
    Okay, I’m done.

    Like

  48. And I bet not a single store has milk, bread or beer.
    Cute photos of you both all. Eric, both couples. You know what I mean.

    Like

  49. PJ says:

    That rat fink hat bastard freak ass.

    Like

  50. Ned’s hands are so nice. Strong, manly and not hairy or gross.
    Also, am I the only one that sees Cardinal and thinks “damn, he reminds me of a young Plarvin?”
    p.s. Texas does the same shit when it snows here. Everything SHUTS DOWN.

    Like

  51. DeDe says:

    I wonder if we should all send in our prom pictures so June can use some of that free time she has gathering them together and posting them for all to see?? I went to my senior prom with a friend who was a junior, we stay in touch via Facebook as he lives in the Philippines now.

    Like

  52. Anita says:

    What happened with the gas leak?
    Oh, and Joooon, gas is poisin to dogs!!

    Like

  53. JG says:

    Dammit. My parrot keeps dropping food all over my laptop and making the keys stick so sometimes my enter key sticks and delays stuff. That was the second double post that I’ve made today. I need to vacuum my keyboard.

    Like

  54. Karen in VB says:

    I wore my boyfriend’s class ring until a May night in 1982 when on the way to our prom he asked for it back. We weren’t even out of my neighborhood and the rat fink wanted his class ring back. On. the. way. to. prom. Guess who didn’t get lucky on his prom night.
    June, did you have thunder and lightening during your snow storm last night? We did. Craziest thing ever.

    Like

  55. JG says:

    Ned and his date look like they are on the set of the movie Footloose and are about to kick off their Sunday shoes.

    Like

  56. JG says:

    Ned and his date look like they just jumped out of the movie Footloose and are about to kick off their Sunday shoes.

    Like

  57. June Gardens says:

    Ned and his girlfriend look sweet and innocent. Cardinal and I look like we're gonna do it in the road.

    Like

  58. Leeuna says:

    I just love the sweet innocent looks on your young faces. What a cute pair you and Cardinal made. Ned looked so sweet and nice…like the kind of guy my mother wished I would bring home.
    Oh, and that photo of you in the snow? You look absolutely beautiful, like you should be in a movie or a commercial or something.

    Like

  59. June Gardens says:

    Ned's nose is much cuter than that.

    Like

  60. LauraL says:

    What the heck is a snow beer??
    I like how you’re all dressed in white, June, but with strumpet-red fingernails. Maybe that’s why Cardinal’s pondering your pants.
    I adore Ned.

    Like

  61. the pictures make me think “if we only knew then what we know now” — old people thoughts. y’all are cute.
    AND i completely remember living in the south when it snowed. one inch and everyone FAHREAKED out. now i live in a place where there have to be several feet of snow before shit closes.
    pj. hysterical.

    Like

  62. B S says:

    June…. gas leak= headache

    Like

  63. Anita says:

    How adorable! It’s like she has a little rose garden on her wrist. Must have been heavy.
    I too looked at the old cars. Showed my husband and our guesses are Cadilac, Javelin, Regal and a Datsun. Left to right. I love that scene in My cousin Vinny with Marissa Tomei.
    I agree with Megsie, trouble with a capital T. So, Trouble.

    Like

  64. Hulk It's been a long week... says:

    And since Amish SAID Chevette, and NOT corvette, apparently I don’t know cars OR words…

    Like

  65. PJ that picture of Ned walking in the snow is so manly, somehow says:

    girlfriend face

    Like

  66. Hulk Maybe a Chevette... says:

    Geezuz…I don’t sh*it about cars but even I know there is no corvette in that picture…

    Like

  67. Megsie says:

    These are so sweet, these pictures. Ned is so cute, not muppet-y at all, and that Cardinal is trouble.

    Like

  68. Amish Annie says:

    Ned’s date is so pretty and is that blonde hair Ned is rocking? Red maybe? Was he a ginger?
    Every old picture with vehicles in it, I always magnify to check out the cars. That looks like a Chevy Chevette in the back right. My husband would know what the other cars are. We turned on the tv this weekend and the Steve McQueen movie Bullitt was on. The car chase in San Francisco in that movie is famous. But within that car chase, there was every car imaginable from one’s childhood. The movie was made in 1968. And now that reminds me of a tv show called Streets of San Francisco.

    Like

  69. Letha says:

    All of you 16ers look adorable but NED.IS.ADORABLE. In a hot way and in a let me pinch your cheek way, too.
    Transformer panic attack, Bah!

    Like

  70. PJ that picture of Ned walking in the snow is so manly, somehow says:

    Did anybody else wear their boyfriend’s class ring with angora yarn wrapped around it so it would fit on your dainty little finger?

    Like

  71. sandra says:

    Ned looks so cute, I love how they both hold their own hands. June, you look so overjoyed, in love and swoony, I love it!

    Like

  72. June Gardens says:

    Oh my god, Texas Kari, you so nailed that.

    Like

  73. PJ that picture of Ned walking in the snow is so manly, somehow says:

    Oh. My. God! I think Ned is wearing a CLASS RING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Like

  74. sandra says:

    “a transformer had a panic attack” made me giggle.

    Like

  75. June Gardens says:

    PJ, my ex-best friend and I noted that whenever Cardinal has his picture taken with one of his manymanymany womens through the years, he gets that look. We call it "girlfriend face." If he's alone, he gets a whole 'nother expression.
    I thought Ned looked manly in that picture, as well. He is manly. Now am getting all twitterpated thinking of Ned.

    Like

  76. Texas Kari - Ned's tuxahdo is killing me says:

    If that picture of you and Cardinal had thought bubbles, your would be “I’m pretty. We are such an awesome couple and everyone knows it!” and Cardinal’s would be “How quickly can I get in her pants?”

    Like

  77. Sadie says:

    P.S. With a snowstorm like yours, Atlanta would be shut down for days!

    Like

  78. Sadie says:

    I adore Ned’s 16-year-old self and his sweet date. He is such a cutie. How nice they are still friends. You and Cardinal look like you can’t wait to go upstairs or, at least, he does. Either that or the camera caught you both on the way downstairs.
    Someone with Photoshop skills, Mrs. Oh, could put 16-year-old June and Ned together in one picture. That would be double cuteness.

    Like

  79. PJ that picture of Ned walking in the snow is so manly, somehow says:

    The storm was so bad here we lost power for 5 hours. Not a flake of snow, not a shred of ice. Not a downed tree or branch. The hysterical weather guy just said the word winter storm and some transformer somewhere had a panic attack and that was that. Boom. Dark.

    Like

  80. PJ that picture of Ned walking in the snow is so manly, somehow says:

    This is an A+ extra credit post. Love every sentence and every picture. And you know every guy at that prom really, in his heart, wanted to pull that sexy strapless top down and get a good look. Why else do you think Ned’s hands are so tightly clasped? Why else do we wear strapless dresses?
    And You! Pretty pretty girl, are working that female stuff. And that Cardinal does NOT look six. He looks hot. He perfected that sexy look in the mirror.

    Like

  81. June Gardens says:

    OH MY GOD HE TOTALLY LOOKS LIKE A KEN DOLL!!!

    Like

  82. Lane says:

    Ned sort of looks like a Ken doll. 🙂

    Like

  83. Lisa. Not THAT Lisa says:

    Yeah. That’s not snow. For heavens sake. What would you people do down yonder if it REALLY snowed?
    Ned is adorable, then and now. And you and cardinal were clearly in loooooooove. He’s so serious and you? Giddy with it. Not to be confused with gettin’ jiggy wid it, which you also apparently were.

    Like

  84. Helen who was young and thin once too says:

    Adorable, both of you. Ned does not look like a muppet at all – he is very appropriately dressed for the era. He really looks the same now too, just, you know, older.
    We were supposed to get that dusting of snow here but didn’t, for which I am thankful because our temperatures will be plummeting not to rise above freezing over the next week and people in my city do not seem to understand that the white stuff has to be shoveled off the sidewalks.

    Like

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