Marvin makes an appearance. As does Henry. (Onnnnreiiii!)

Sometimes Tallulah and I like to play "Heavy Cat," where I lift her up and carry her around the house with her legs all askew in an alarmed fashion. "Are you my Heavy Cat?" I ask her, while she patiently waits for me to be over this game. "Who's my Heavy Cat?" Sometimes I even curl her on my lap while I sit with her and scratch her chin.

Photo on 3-26-13 at 7.40 AMEdsel is so rude.

Heavy Cat just got put down and she went outside, relieved that I am over it for now. Some day that dog's gonna eat my neck area out and you really won't be able to blame her.

I can also feel my knees JUST WAITING to give out while I lug her 45 pounds around. One day I will be all crippled up in my knees, I can tell. They're okay for now, but when I lift something heavy, such as Heavy Cat, they're all, "Yeah, what're ya thinking? We're going to feel weak STARTING RIGHT NOW."

I don't know how I got off on that tangent.

What I was GONNA sit down and write about was Marvin's latest YouTube video. Yesterday on Facebook, I saw that his mom linked to something Marvin-related, and I was all, What is Marvin up to NOW? He's trying to re-record the songs he wrote when he was 12. I have listened to all of those songs, repeatedly, and I can certainly see why you'd want to revisit them. God help us everyone. 

He says his real name on here, but I asked him and he said that was okay if you all knew it, and I don't mind cause it's not my name anymore. If you click on the thing above you can see the video, which I guess technically is not YouTube, and I'll bet the fine folks at whatever this company is enjoying having their video called "YouTube" when it isn't.

The best part about the video is Henry makes an appearance at 1:46 and 2:03. A magical appearance. He even says, "Mrt."

I miss Henry.

By the time Marvin said, "Twenty-three songs," he was irking me. Oh, and I got him that dog toy behind him, the one where you push the bottom and the dog dances around. I forget why. It was back when we liked each other.

So there's your Marvin visit for, you know, the year. Remember when we talked about Marvin all the time? Now we hardly ever do. It's weird. Who knew I'd be all Marvinless one day? And happy with a whole new boy?

Did y'all see it coming, or was my "Marvin is moving out" announcement two years ago a total shock? Just recently someone commented that she had a baby more than two years ago, and stopped reading me cause she was too busy, then she came back and was all, Whothehell's Ned? How shocking it'd be to come back here after two years.

All right, I had better get ready for you-know-what. But confidential to my deep Real Housewives friends: Fay Resnick is a jerk.

XO, June


Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

122 thoughts on “Marvin makes an appearance. As does Henry. (Onnnnreiiii!)”

  1. OJ, sorry for all you’ve got going on and glad for the upswing. It was so sweet for you to offer your personal information re Aflac to Marvin as a way of being supportive. Classy.


  2. We don’t love it when your life goes badly. We just marshall the resources to show up and support when you need it. When it is lovely, we just bask in the glow and don’t act.


  3. No, no. I mean, there are readers who have read for a long time and stay through the good and bad. But my point is, this blog is more interesting when there's bad stuff, and I get several more readers per day when I break up with someone or have surgery or a pet dies (why do you think I've killed all those cats?) or whatever. I mean, it's human nature. I'm way more involved with Dooce now that she's divorced. But I wish she'd tell some dating stories. Don't tell me that heifer isn't dating.


  4. Maybe tragedy becomes you, June.
    A couple of years ago when my husband lost his job, and several other horrid things were happening, one of my friends saw me at an opening. Terra had just been fired. He came up to me with his wife and they asked, “What are you doing to yourself? You look BEAUTIFUL.” I told him what was happening and he declared, “Well, tragedy becomes you.”
    I love my friends.


  5. Oh, I think it does. I'm funnier when I'm tragic. However, I just got home and THE BIRDS ARE BUILDING A NEST OUTSIDE MY WINDOW!!!!!!! Oh, will so not be tragic while baby birds are here. Goodbye, readers.


  6. When Marvin left my heart hurt. Bad. Because I know how hard a split is even if both people wanted it. And you weren’t sounding so thrilled, June.
    But I never hated Marvin. I know too much about marriage to haul out the hate.
    I was attached to the character Marvin so I missed him. Like when you read a sequel to a book and one of your favorite characters doesn’t show up.
    Heavy Cat! Who’s my heavy cat? Who’s my great big beautiful heavy cat? Why you are, Tallulah.
    Letha! OJ! Missed you both.


  7. Marvin, I quit teaching in February (years ago). After 10 years and one month with the district. I was only teaching until I was vested. It was 10 years to be vested. I taught one extra month as insurance.
    I was a good teacher as I am sure you were. But that doesn’t mean much in a bad situation.
    I wish you much luck. When I took my next job after teaching I was shocked! Shocked, I tell you! to find out what it felt like to be treated with respect and listened to. And to be treated like an adult. Teaching is really really hard.


  8. Shocked! I was shocked and felt such anguish for you both. Still do. I do miss funny Marvin stories.
    Marvin, teaching is hard. I know people can do hard things, but at some point, sometimes you gotta bail. Good for you for not staying past your breaking point. I used to teach full time and those people WORE. ME. OUT. I left my full time position and then had a child. People would ask me if I was exhausted with my newborn. I could say with confidence that NOTHING was more exhausting than my classroom. NOTHING!! Good luck on your time machine Marv.
    Welcome back to OJ and Leetha. See! We do notice when people go missing around here.
    I’m not even an only child, but me likey the alone time. Luckily, my current schedule allows for a bit of that. When I was a child, I secretly rejoiced when my mother would send me to my room. Not really a punishment there, Mom!
    Lovely post, June and Heavy Cat. Definitely to the tune of Smelly Cat.


  9. OJ, you have been missed and Letha, so glad you are okay. Now, where is Sadie today?
    I was really, really sad when you and Marvin split up. I think I cried as well and couldn’t explain THAT to my husband. (It’s difficult to explain this blog to anyone.) I was so in hopes that the counseling would help you work through your problems. A dear friend told me divorce is terrible, even if you want out. My brother said it was worse than death because it is the ultimate rejection.
    I’m so thrilled you found Ned and are happy together. I understand completely the need for space. I’m so thankful for my husband’s workshop (fondly referred to as his cave) and my sewing room. I need the alone time more than my husband. Often when I leave the room we have this conversation and it is annoying:
    Husband: What are you doing?
    Me: I’m in the bathroom, is that okay? (I’m thinking what difference does it make?)
    Husband: Oh, okay.
    Alone time is a good thing in a marriage.
    Post “Marvin Disner” cracked me up. I don’t know how you managed to survive as long as you did in middle school. Marvin, I wish you well in your new business venture. OJ’s comments about Aflac was very encouraging. Just take good care of that duck.


  10. I’m here catching up on the comments. It has been a busy two days. So very glad to hear from Marvin, OJ and Letha today. What does that say about the alignment of the planets?
    June, I for one am thrilled when you are happy. Yes, as someone previously said, we marshal the forces when we think you need us, otherwise we enjoy your funny.
    Marvin, good luck with your new career and with your recording project. I have a friend who suffered through teaching as long as he could. Like you said, so many kids are not interested in learning and show zero respect for their teachers.
    June, your and Lu’s Heavy Cat duo just about killed me. As did your reply to Marvin, “We’d make a great team! Oh. Wait…” I am dead. Like your cats.


  11. For cripes sake! I can forgive my ex-husband for going ex-husband on me but I see Marvin and I think “What a bum!” What is wrong with me?


  12. Fortunately, both my husband (of 22 years) and I like alone time. We joke that we’ve been married 22 years but together for 11, we’re apart that much. However, we’re ALWAYS excited to see one another and to spend time together. It works for us.
    I’m glad Marvin is This seemed to be very much an amicable split, which I found refreshing. That’s not to say there weren’t hurt feelings, but there always seemed to be a basic respect and affection, even during the awful times.


  13. And you wonder why everyone is always confused about who is dead and who isn’t.
    Marvin’s alive. Paul is dead. I am the walrus.


  14. I was sad when you said you were breaking up, but what has really stuck with me is that I think he moved out when you were having your surgery?….something like that. Just seemed hurtful. Mother took care of you. You know how as you get older you think you understand life….then you get a little older and realize how very much you *don’t* know, and never will? I’m in that time of life now. We had this group of do everything together friends for 25 years….and one woman confessed that she has been unhappily married for the last 17 years and that he was controlling and mentally abusive. I had coffee once a week with all these women, plus all the group things we did together in all kinds of settings and NOT ONE OF US KNEW! How can people hide that stuff? (see: Post Secret) Makes you wonder about what you don’t know you don’t know….like…the sky *is* blue, right? *Twilight Zone Music*
    And your and Amish Annie’s cat fight in the comments today was good for a laugh or two. Thanks for the extra chuckle!!
    And P.S. I like your stage name much better than what your married name used to be. June Gardens just has a…..presence. You’ll be needing to put that on your headstone one day, girl.


  15. JOOOOOooon, killing is bad for cats!
    1)Loved Marvin’s video. “When you seee a fy-uh, walk awaaay!” Good luck to him.
    2)I don’t think you’re funnier when tragic but I’m pretty sure people google crap they’re going through and want to see how other people coped. I found you when stressing I was skint.
    2b)Can you see what searches people use to find you? When you search for BBP in googel the first suggestions is for Bye Bye Pie Carin so I love that that drama is famous.
    3)I feel so bad for me teacher friends. My maths teacher friend was teaching his 15 year olds about mathsy things to do with arcs, circles, tangents and lines and has not lived down the fact that he ended up accidentally drew a penis.


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