Last night I worked late, and I got Ned drunk even though I wasn't there, and I took another 45-minute walk with the dogs and my foot is KILLING me, and now I have to go to work. If you want, you can leave now, as Ive just summed up this stupid post. Remember last … Continue reading Don’t you wish your blogger was hot like me. In other news, I continue to make no sense. Also, text. It has a past tense.
Yesterday was one of those run-around-y days where you don't get a single solitary damn moment to yourself for a minute. My boss was out sick, and TinaDoris was working on a big project, which left all the everyday work to me. And holy cats, everybody, with your everyday work. Jeeeeeeeeesus. There was one thing … Continue reading Zen
Sometimes, I get so busy telling you one story, like about Ned's horrid day, that I forget to tell you the other things I meant to say, and really this whole blog is like we're at dinner and I'm dominating the conversation and you're smiling fakely and painfully, waiting for dessert so you can go. … Continue reading The quiche of now
The holiday weekend yawned before us, and Ned, who enjoys food and eating and talking about food and eating and perusing menus to decide what to eat and then discussing it, said, "We should grill out at your house." I have a grill, see, and also a back yard and a deck. Which makes my … Continue reading In which Ned, who doesn’t cook, said, “Let’s cook!” to June. Who doesn’t cook.
By the way, I get to tell you the Very Exciting Thing in less than a week. At this point I've built up Very Exciting Thing so much that unless I announce I am the next pope, you'll be let down. I'll be all, They've named a brand of lace after me! And you'll be … Continue reading June’s Showcase Showdown
Yesterday, there was a Very Important Sporting Event on, and you can imagine how I've thought of little else. But despite my complete indifference to said Very Important Sporting Event, Ned was all up in it. "There's a very important baseball game on," he told me. "Whooo de whooo and bleeee de bleee blee are … Continue reading The one where you’re probably gonna feel pretty bad for Ned
Last night, I went to Ned's. He seemed to have packed a lot of living into his dwelling in the few days since I'd been there. A huge golf bag was in the living room, and some aloe vera gel was on the floor. And "Why is that ball in here?" I asked him. "What … Continue reading I bought a toothbrush
I forgot to tell you that when I ran into that little kid the other night from the neighborhood, the kid who used to own Snowflake before his untimely postman-eating demise, she had a question for me. "Do you have a lot of markers in your house?" I mean, it was in the context of … Continue reading Come on, Precious
Last night, I came home from work and stampeded to the refrigerator as if I were an 8th-grade boy, and the light was out in there. "Well, crap," I thought. "I've never replaced a refrigerator lightbulb in all my days. Guess I'll have to go to the store." I headed to the TV to watch … Continue reading We admitted we were powerless
Two German shepherds have moved in to the house around the corner, and their back yard faces ours. There used to be other dogs who lived back there, and Edsel and Tallulah would run the length of the fence with them in utter delight. Now that there are two new neighbors, and German ones at … Continue reading The Resistance
I'll tell you what. Yesterday I told you Tallulah wasn't feeling well, but I did not know I'd be BURYING HER IN MY MIND by noon. Tallulah had been kind of shaking her head in this weird way over the weekend, and on Saturday it was subtle, probably something only I would notice. On Sunday, … Continue reading Just Bee
Tallulah is sick, and we are going to the vet at 11:00. All she wanted to do last night was squish up next to me and have me hold her hot pitty head. Do dogs' heads get hot when they have a fever? Cause I swear she felt hot. Anyway, further reports as developments warrant. … Continue reading The one where PJ wears a June suit
I just got back from getting my roots done, which interfered with my usual going-to-the-movies-with-Ned thing, but you'll be relieved to know we're going to a movie today anyway. I don't know what we're going to see: we have a depressing deep movie we're considering, and then a depressing deep movie. I will let you … Continue reading We Be Free
I have to run to my work picnic this afternoon, but I wanted to scream over here and tell you that when I got home yesterday, Edsel ran to the door like my arrival was a miracle, as he always does. Tallulah wagged stoically. Lily splayed herself gorgeously on the dining room table and looked … Continue reading Killer Queen
I want you to know I did everything I was supposed to yesterday. Here I am drinking water like it's going out of style after giving the dogs a 45-minute walk. And yes, my plantar fasciitis IS killing me today. Water kind of IS in style right now, isn't it? We're all chugging it like … Continue reading Oh, and who sent me the BB Creme from South Korea? ‘Fess up.
I overslept, so now I have to scream to work in a panic, and at lunchtime I have to do my stupid stupid stupid 45 minutes of physical activity, then after work I have pet therapy. Not that my pets are seeing therapists, although they should. Rather, I am going to the old folks' home … Continue reading You wrote it, you watch it
God, I love coffee. Don't you? I have never understood those soda-in-the-morning people. Blech. June's blog. Getting shut off one-handedly while people hold their Diet Cokes in the other hand, since 2013. I do, though. I love it. And I even have to have tamped-down half-caf coffee because of my migraines. Okay, technically I'm supposed … Continue reading Cubism
Yesterday was a dumb day, in which the phrase "emergency dental visit" was used, and I will tell you about all that and also force you to read about my weekend right here, right now. June's blog. Come for the mundane details. Stay for the mundane details. Because you hate yourself. That is so my … Continue reading Because you hate yourself.
The rest of the weekend was inexplicable, but don't worry. I will go into excruciating detail tomorrow. In the meantime, what's with my 3-D bosoms? Oh, also? Always use sunscreen. (c) Daniel Boone Photography
I am absurdly in love with this man. Sent from my iPhone