Picture book. Pictures of your readers, and your real friend Sleeping, a long time ago.

I am on hold with the IRS. It is Wednesday evening and I have been on the phone with them for 40 minutes. Usually I blog in the morning, but as I am hostage, what the heck.

I was just about to leave work today when I got to talking to Deb Downer, the woman at work who sent us all the link about the dreadful things a margarita does to your body, on the afternoon everyone was going out for margaritas. Despite this, she is in fact a likable person. Yes, her license plate reads Run4Fun or something equally awful, and yes she only gets gum out the vending machine and YES, she brings water to birthday celebrations so she doesn't eat cake, BUT BELIEVE IT OR NOT SHE IS STILL LIKABLE.

Anyway, please remind me to show you the thing she and I were talking about today, which kept me late, which got the attention of my boss, who gave me work to take home.

Crap. However, I got the work done, then said as long as I'm already tense and nervous and can't relax, I might as well call the IRS. Because apparently I owe money to them, and did everyone forget the part where I DID NOT WORK LAST YEAR? But when I DID work, it was freelance and none of that was taxed, so yeah. Working out a payment plan and/or offering my nubile self up to whoever will take me over there at the IRS.

So since I'm just sitting here listening to the same piano piece, which I have invented words for:

You're.in.big.trouble.Owe.the.IRS.You're.in.big.trouble.Owe.the.IRS.

I wish you were on hold with me. It fits perfectly.

SO SINCE I'M SITTING HERE, I decided to look up your BLOG PHOTOS. A few months back, like 80, I asked you to send in your picture to me, and if you actually titled it BLOG PHOTO, I'd be able to find it in my 70,000 emails and show your face to the Bye Bye, Pie world. Such as it is.

What is sad is 10349492030424242443 people did this, along with some annoying folk who wrote BLAWG FOTO, and guess what, your picture's not getting in, and anyway I still have a large number of you to show off. Why not do a search now? Since I'm jamming out to 

You're.in.big.trouble.Owe.the.IRS.You're.in.big.trouble.Owe.the.IRS.

So let's begin. Shall we?

13This person DID NOT give me her blog name, but I know this is everyone's favorite reader, The Zadge. I only now that cause I've read her blog, but if you didn't tell me your commenter name or blog name in your photo, I'm using the real thing, along with your home address, phobias and bank PIN. Anyway, cute shot!

Image(6)Here's MissPam. Awww. I can tell I would love her. Unless she's squeezing a dead kitten in her hands, there.

Linda from NELinda from NE likes to read my blog while she drinks coffee. I would, too. You gotta stay awake through this drivel SOMEHOW.

6a00e54f9367fb883401901d09543a970b-800wiCheesekate says she lurks from Canada. She looks like that one actress. You know the one. That one. She was in The Green Mile. That one. Not Bonnie Hunt. The one who had the brain tumor and the guy saved her. SPOILER ALERT!

-1Either Amy in MD is reading a large book or she is extremely tiny. Or I have a fever.

545107_3481861240656_1886782405_nAmanda says she reads all day long. HI, AMANDA! You can see this ALL DAY TODAY! In other news, she has barnacled herself to this man and he seems okay with it.

Copy of Head 2 Dec 2007Did I already put this one of Tammy VV up? I know it's her Facebook photo and that's what might be throwing me off. I spend hours a day looking at this picture of Facebook. Am in love with Tammy VV. Wish to wear Tammy VV skin suit.

What?

007 - CopyNITHYA! Nithya lives in London and she seems like fun. And possibly a drunk, based on this picture.

IMG_1437_R_webHere is Katie D. If you read the What Season Are You post from the other day, you can see she is clearly a winter. She looks good in the pure white.

6a00e54f9367fb8834019102ff7dd3970c-800wiMona claims to be a lurker, but don't we hear from a Mona every once in awhile? Could there be two? Now I feel like The Count. Two Monas! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ahhhh.

Swing5Sara(h) with an H is my people.

Pcb

Pendy looks like that one actress. You know the one. In Gremlins. That one. No, she doesn't look like one of the bad Gremlins. That's not what I'm saying. God. Way to stir up trouble.

Photo(34)

Cuckoobirdlane has been framed.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Wait. Let me reflect on that comment.

BAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! I am still on hold with the IRS, by the way. Good gravy.

Me(2)Here's Becky in East Texas. She's worried this picture will be big, but everything's bigger in Texas.

DSC04821Tee! Tee has been reading me forever. She is cute.

Sibling photoMamaMags is on the far right. She has never met the rest of these people in her entire life. Was just trying to lean on a fence in her neutrals. Geez. People are so intrusive nowadays.

249444_1800047915647_4216998_nEmmaleena has June hair, except cute.

A photoTerry is from Texas, where I seem to be huge. Did I already mention everything's bigger in Texas? June. Bigger in Texas. 

Family(1)Okay, HOW LONG AGO did I start this dreadful project that I am looking at people's snow pictures and just putting them up now? This is Sheri in Colorado, though, so this coulda been taken last week.

305347_525654390791761_774819317_n

Behold Lisajay99 and her giant drinks. She is from (sit down) Texas. Hey, everything's bigger in Texas. 

Who is over me? Is it all of you?

I owe $2,100 to the IRS. I just hung up with Kevin, who was very nice but refused the offer of my body and wants the $2,100. This is when it sucks to be 47.

Photo(35)

DeDe wants you to know she is on the left and her attention whore sister is over yonder on the right.

-2Here's my friend in real life Sleeping Beauty, who seems awake, and her child Josie, who seems to want all of us to stop effing looking at her. I do not understand that emotion.

Okay, three more and then I MUST go do something fun. My day started out great and has gone steadily downhill. I am so nudging Ned right now with that last sentence. Hi, Ned. Nudge.

Nelson's MamaHere's Nelson's Mama, who I know has commented many times, and who I think I would like, if we didn't have this phony cyber relationship. 

Jill MunroeJill Munroe, who I DO know in real life, but we still have a phony relationship. KIDDING! I heart you, JM.

DSCN1310(1)Megsie says this was taken a few years ago, before she let herself go. Which made me giggle. Megsie always leaves NICE comments. She is the Gallant of comments. Megsie never corrects June's typos when she comments. Megsie doesn't complain that June didn't talk about what SHE wanted her to talk about that day. Megsie never says, "Your photos suck, June."

Megsie is perfection. She is the chili cheese dog from Sonic of commenters.

Anyway, the good news is I have TWENTY THOUSAND MORE to show you, and dudes, I'm trying, man. I really am. Oh, and who wrote me after and said, "I changed my mind! Don't put my picture up!" because hey, try to find THAT email in my thousands of them! That's happening! Anyway, tell me who you are so I can delete your image.

I hope you enjoyed this trip through our readers' livers. I just made that up. It kind of made me think of those old Reader's Digest articles: "I am Bob's liver." "I am June's skull. On the outside, am so weighed down. Yet my insides are so light and devoid of depth."

XO, June. Of the owing the IRS Junes. 

82 thoughts on “Picture book. Pictures of your readers, and your real friend Sleeping, a long time ago.

  1. I’m late so very late for this important post but there’s a reason… I had to visit my mother. Anyway it is lovely to see all of June’s beautiful peeps. My bench/swing is in New Orleans. I wore the shoes out within a couple of weeks, I should have purchased more than one pair when I bought them. I forget my habit of wearing the cute ones out.

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  2. Aww, what beautiful pictures! Also, I hate the IRS. I hope they aren’t stalking your blog looking for people who type nasty things like, “I hate the IRS.”

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  3. Why is it that EVERY time I lean against a fence, a bunch of people think they have to join me? How do you do it June?…come up with so many hysterically funny comments each and every day? Loved all the pictures of so many beautiful women. You can now correct my grammar…..I have a fence to visit.

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  4. Oh, my gosh! I just got here, I have been running all day long, yet I guess I have been here all day! A sweet surprise, but I think that even if June thinks I am “perfection” (!) and “the chili-cheese dog from Sonic of commenters” (!!) the rest of you may think I am just the suck-up of all commenters. This may be true.
    Anita! It does look like I have something on my nose. Great.
    Thank you June for the nice words. And to all the other stars of today’s post: You are all so damn cute! I really shouldn’t have let myself go.

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  5. Everyone is so darn pretty! You can wear a skin suit of Tammy VV, Joooon, but I call dibs on those perfect eyebrows!

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  6. Moving to Columbia. Will be in Atlanta often! We used to live in Wichita Falls. When my husband was in the Airforce. We went to Grace Bible Church.

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  7. Moving to Columbia. Will be in Atlanta often!! We used to live in Wichita Falls! When my husband was in the Airforce. We went to Grace Bible Church. Close to MSU.

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  8. Had a worky day today. No Internet. Home now with the toile wallpaper. Nice photos everyone. I’m battling the taxman too.

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  9. I remember those Reader’s Digest stories. I’m Bob’s heart. I’m Bob’s kidney. As I recall they never did I’m Bob’s di**. I mean really, that would be just as interesting and absolutely as mysterious. Why and HOW do those things do what they do when they do it and sometimes all by themselves?

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  10. Joooon you remember some weird shit. I don’t remember ever referring to myself as Sleeping Beauty in college.

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  11. Joooon……why are you worrying your little head over owing the IRS? Just “Lois Lerner” it and take the 5th. Geez. Just say you haven’t done anything wrong.
    Yay for picture day!!! So many pretty people!
    I know, Just Paula….June has really attractive commenters. I’d be nervous but I’ve already been highlighted. It’s like knowing you have a report to give to the class and you go first to just get it over with.
    Swiss Cake Roll……my favorite when I was a kid. I used to hide a couple of them around the kitchen so my siblings wouldn’t gobble them all up. Along with a Pepsi, of course. God, those were good times…..pre-cellulite. *sigh*

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  12. I am here. computer problems at work, I am finally home. gotta start some laundry and then go to the gym to.do zumba!!

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  13. Columbia. We lived there before and our daughter and son-in-law are there. I went in March and squeeeee bought our very first house.

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  14. Jill Munroe has the most GORGEOUS hair! I’m taking her photo to my hair stylist STAT!

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  15. Omg I’ve been very frigging worky all day and my phone barely frigging worky. I blame Sack of Doody Judy. I’m missing the Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiie.

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  16. Texas Peeps(all peeps really and June of course) my house is open for a big ol Texas style BBQ. Brisket is my specialty. We’re about to move to South Carolina so we need to be efficient. I live in Honey Grove. The Sweetest Little Town in Texas(except for Delia.) Only problem is that HG is the geographical center of nowhere.
    June are you ready to really go South? I’ll brew extra tea.
    We live in the parsonage. The one with the swing.

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  17. I’m only in Texas for a few more weeks. Making the big move to Columbia, South Carolina in August. Husband is finally finished with his PhD. Dissertation yet to defend. Woot. So if we’re having a pie peeps Texas style BBQ it needs to be soon. My house is open if everyone wants to come here. Honey Grove. Sweetest Little Town in Texas(except for Delvia.) While it is a sweet little town it is also the geographical center of nowhere. We live in the parsonage.
    The one with the swing.:)
    June are you ready to really go South?

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  18. You all look so friendly and pretty! I am well up for a trip to Texas. Looking forward to an everything’s-bigger drink with all y’all (am I saying that right?). Actually, I was laughing at June calling me a potential drunk until I looked at the cider I’m enjoying. It might be time to take a long hard look at my life.

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  19. Before everyone sits down on the swing, let me pour myself on there for pictures!!
    We really need to have a Texas Pie Meet up! Not in Huntsville, that’s where all my ex inlaws live.

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  20. wait. we don’t have to pay the IRS?
    dude, i’ve been doing something wrong for a very long time.
    love the laying pretty on the swing photo.
    (OHMYGAWD did i just use lay/lie wrong?)

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  21. Y’all look good!
    June, at least if you go up the river, you can rest assured that we’ll write a song about it.
    Goofus says a cuss to the IRS operator. Gallant thanks the IRS worker politely for his time. Cartoon: Goofus saying “f*uck!” on left, Gallant flicking the bird on the right.
    I less than three Highlights!

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  22. Porch swing! Sweet Tea! Amy! Move over MissPam, make room on that swing for me. I’ll bring cheese curds. B S may show up cause she loves the squeaky cheese too. Amy conversations and stories are the best!

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  23. Ummm, Swiss Rolls. I used to peel off the chocolate covering, slowly unroll the cake then proceed to lick….okay this is sounding way too kinky.

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  24. Amish Annie BFF that bench is in China. Did not drink one glass of sweet tea there. Lots of hot tea in brass dragon teapots. While I am not strangling a cat we saw lots of odd things hanging from the butcher shops there. ICKY.
    AA I have a gallon of sweet tea in the fridge and a lovely porch swing. It’s raining off and on
    and we could visit all afternoon. I could have Amy tell you about our upcoming visit to
    Huntsville and the Texas Prison Museum. She wants an Old Sparky tee.

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  25. I know someone who didn’t file taxes for 25 years. He is currently in prison. Also, when I hear uneducated idiots say that Amish don’t pay taxes, I want to smack them with June’s liver. Amish pay the same taxes non-Amish do.

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  26. Nutty Bars for me. I had to quit buying them long ago because I could eat them nonstop. All I needed was a tall glass of milk and a box of Nutty Bars to be happy.

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  27. YAY for picture day & helloooooo to all my fellow Texans!!
    You are smart to get this IRS crapolla straightened out now, Joooob. Mr. Munroe is a tax attorney & you would be surprised at how many people wait YEARS before they come to him for help because of penalties & interest that have accrued. Taxes suck.

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  28. June’s report card would still read, “Makes good use of free time.”
    Great post. I love the picture posts. Hi, everybody! It would be so fun to meet you all.

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  29. Oh also Joob, this is a reminder to share the thing you and Litl Debbs were talking about that resulting in you taking work home.

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  30. And just think, these pictures were taken before June’s makeup tutorial. Can you imagine the hotness now?

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  31. June, do not pay the IRS. They will only waste the money on something stupid. You will put it to MUCH better use. Here’s what you say “I have not done anything wrong. I have not broken any laws, I have not violated any IRS rules or regulations” ala Lois Lerner. (This free tax advice is worth exactly what you paid for it.)
    You people are all so outrageously good looking, it’s insane. June… attracting the gorgeous since forever.

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  32. Sandra, I think if you took a picture of yourself laying on a swing bench and June posted it, it just may be too much to bear for Hulk.

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  33. I love picture day! Seeing everyone’s faces reminds me of looking through my high school yearbook and having to think really hard on whether I remember them or not.
    Way to represent, Texas!!
    MK Davis! Big beers! Big hairs! Big quantities of fans of June!
    June, you seriously have to come to TX sometime. We could throw you a big ol’ Texas-sized party.
    p.s. I have a story that I should have posted yesterday as it was relevant then. But here goes . . . You asked what kind of middle name is Delano anyway, well, I think it must be Spanish.
    We were living in Santiago, Chile as one does and one of the streets, a main thoroughfare from my house going into town was called Delano. And all the kids sniggered and carried on every. single. time. they saw the street sign. If you put a space in the middle it becomes Del Ano which translates to “of the ass” or “straight out of the anus”.
    So every time this happened I thought about FDR and his mama and wondered what the hell was she THINKING??
    p.s. NBA finals start tonight. Go Spurs Go!!!

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  34. I love when you do picture posts!! Everyone looks so sweet and pretty!
    I miss the Zadge! I keep checking her blog to see if she changed her mind.
    Amanda has the bangs that I yearn for, that my stupid hair won’t let me have. So jealous.
    Nithya is so very beautiful, and all that long hair. Again, jealous!
    Katie D cannot be 65!
    Sarah with an h has the coolest shoes that I could never pull off. I need to find a swingy bench and take a picture of myself like that, so cool. I do fear that just because I plop myself on a swingy bench I still won’t look like that though.
    DeDe has the perfect lashes!! I have been using rapidlash or whatever it is called, and I see results, just not quite that dramatic.
    Okay, I should probably do some work instead of studying all these pictures.

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  35. Perhaps, as much as Kevin was intrigued and titillated by the offer of your girly bits, he has a female Ned, a Shed, if you will, and he doesn’t want to risk the relationship over a $2100 visit to June’s Lady Land.

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  36. Baby Beauty!! She is so darn cute. Well done, Sleeping.
    What nice photos of everyone. Yes, Cheesekate does look like Patricia Clarkson. Thanks Letha, her name was bugging me.
    Megsie is a sweetheart! But hey Megsie, you have a little something on your nose.
    ZADGE at her Downton Abbey party! It looked like so much fun. And look, iPad automatically capitalized ZADGE. Like it knows she’s a screamer!

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  37. Yay!! I’m on June’s Blog…my life is now complete!! Come on down and see us sometime!

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  38. Ooooooo, Deb Downer chews gum, does she? Send her THIS in an email! She’ll love it.
    http://foodtrainers.blogspot.com/2012/03/youre-nutritionist-your-family-must-eat.html
    Or if you abhor links, which I suppose you probably do, here is what you can send her. Just to be helpful, you know.
    SORBITOL sugar alcohol AKA guaranteed gassiness , GUM BASE, GLYCEROL, MANNITOL another sugar alcohol, bystanders beware, NATURAL AND ARTIFICAL FLAVORS, HYDROGENATED STARCH HYDROLYSATE (also polyols and 20% to 50% as sweet as sugar); LESS THAN 2% OF: ASPARTAME migraine trigger, carcinogen and potential contributor to preterm labor ACESULFAME K stimulates insulin secretion, part of the argument that sweet begets sweet. Plus hasn’t been properly tested SOY LECITHIN an emulsifier, to separate this from soybean oil chemical solvents are used, plus should we place bets about whether this soy is non GMO? BHT (TO MAINTAIN FRESHNESS) BHT is banned in England, at higher doses causes animals to bleed it brain, can damage heart cells and retard weight gain and as CSPI says “bottom line is that BHA and BHT are unnecessary. There are safer ways to prolong the shelf life of foods.” COLORS (TURMERIC, BLUE 1 LAKE). “Blue is for brain tumors” as blue 1 shown to cause in animals. Chew on that.

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  39. Jooooooooooooon! Thank you for posting more photos of your faithful readers. Hi, faithful readers! So nice to meet y’all and your beautiful selves.
    June, even though Kevin missed out on the chance of a lifetime, hope he at least gave you something you wanted. Monthly payments. What did you think I was talking about?

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  40. Great pictures! Love the captions too! Makes me want to sit on those stairs by MissPam, drink ice tea and chat a spell. MissPam, I’m your new best friend. That’s not creepy, is it? And yes Joob, I agree, heck I think we would all agree, Megsie is a perpetual sweetheart.

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  41. Thank you for the free “season” analysis, June! I hadn’t thought about it. I was a “Summer” when I had it done when I was younger, and my hair was dark brown. I’m excited to be a “Winter” now with my silver hair and almost 65! Thanks for giving me a good excuse to go shopping – ha!

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  42. Lovely FRs. Blinding beauties, I tell you alliteratively.
    Patricia Clarkson!!
    I’m sorry you owe. The IRS is just exasperating. I am still waiting exasperatedly for my 2011 refund. Gah.

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  43. So sorry you owe the IRS. What a downer. Speaking of downer, some guy pulled up in front of my house yesterday evening and asked my 30-year-old grandson if he knew where he could get some Xanax. Maybe this was JP’s dealer trying to replenish his stock. Sheesh. I love seeing pictures of your commenters. Today is my daughter’s 45th birthday. Will be going to San Francisco Saturday to celebrate and spend the weekend with her.

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  44. I feel like Steve Martin in The Jerk when the new phone book arrived – I’m somebody!
    One of those giant beers was my husband’s – from a place in San Antonio called MK Davis – total old school, been around since the 50’s kind of place….

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  45. I love everyone’s hair. This is a very bad post for my ego. Everyone is young and cute and jowl-free. Bitches.

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  46. Terri, my friend Sleeping Beauty, pictured above, worked at our college radio station and she ALWAYS said, “Goo morning. I’m Sleeping Beauty.” I told her how annoying that was, and one morning my clock radio went off and I heard her say, “GooDDDDDD morning, June. I’m Sleeping Beauty. Here now is the news…”

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  47. I’m first. Cool.
    I love Texas. And yes everything is bigger. Just look at my ass…….
    Even tho I’m in NM now. Ass stayed.
    Beautiful pictures. Lovely post.
    Goo day everyone.

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