I am high-maintenance · June's stupid life

Birthday wrapup. Oh, and I hate Typepad.

IMG_1555The best thing about my birthday is that Ned got "Ned!"ed while he was buying my birthday cards. Yes, cards, plural, because he is the best boy ever invented. The woman at the store said, "I'm not gonna pretend that I don't know you're Ned." She said she's been reading me since Bye Bye, Buy, which is a long damn-ass time.

Ned was okay with being spotted, although this is going to make cheating on me harder to do, if he's gonna go ahead and get RECOGNIZED all over yonder, but I have faith that with perseverance, he can do that, too. By the way, that cupcake not only had a chocolate-covered strawberry on it, but it had a strawberry cream filling that would make you hit Ouiser.

 

I got up on July 16 and 94 hours later, I'd opened all my presents.

IMG_1536You were all obsessed by the Orvis box, so that mystery can now be resolved. Sheets. My mother got me sheets. I always need sheets because dogs sleep in my bed and I have to change the sheets, like, three times a week.

IMG_1542
IMG_1543I got gifts from faithful readers.

IMG_1544
IMG_1540I got lovely stationery from mom, and some beautiful earrings from Aunt Mary, who also got me a Coach purse and some cups from London's flower show, which she attended because bitch gets to do everything.

IMG_1538
IMG_1547

 
IMG_1549My friend Dottie sent me cake pops and chocolate-covered strawberries. I took some in to work, so I wouldn't sit here like a giant glutton and eat every single thing myself, and someone on the Spanish team said, "This is like sin!" It really is.

After work, I had the choice of going to a fancy dinner or seeing Fargo at the old movie theater that we like, and I picked old movie theater. Because you know how I am. Before we went, Ned gave me the cupcake at the top of this post, and these:

IMG_1557We'd been somewhere and I'd said, "Aren't those sunflowers pretty?" Ned is a good listener.

I've been trying to write this post for over 30 minutes, and fucking fucking fucking Typepad is taking MORE THAN FIVE MINUTES EACH to upload my damn pictures and you can imagine my sparkling mood at this point.

Here.

IMG_1559
IMG_1562
Photo on 7-16-13 at 6.38 PM #2I slapped all the pictures up at once, and I HATE TYPEPAD, and now you can comment and all your comments can go to spam because I HATE TYPEPAD and I pay $150 a year to have my photos take years to upload and to spam your comments and did I mention TYPEPAD CAN GO SHIT IN A HAT.

Anyway, Ned got me a book about Gary Dell'Abate (if you don't listen to Howard Stern, your life is lacking as a result. Trust me.) and a pretty necklace which you can see did a lot for the outfit I was wearing, and some beautiful earrings which I can't upload and I HATE TYPEPAD and my official birthday picture, wherein I am smiling and hating Typepad.

Now I am late for work and I hate everything, mostly Typepad. The end.

P.S. Typepad's spell check goes on the blink constantly, too. Like, it'll check one paragraph then go out and you have to click the spell check box again. GUESS WHAT I HATE. The end. Again.

98 thoughts on “Birthday wrapup. Oh, and I hate Typepad.

  1. Amish, for a good, cheap, crisp, grapefruity winetry Nobilo Sauvignon Blanc from New Zealand. I pay about $9/bottle for it at Safeway if I use my club card and buy at least six at a time.

    Like

  2. Anita, you have great humor. And I don’t want you to feel like you are talking to yourself. Can’t help you with the white sangria, however.

    Like

  3. I will join you guys on the Tilt a Whirl. The last time I went on a Ferris wheel it was with a screamer. I almost pushed her off.
    Thanks PJ for seeing my humor!
    Who has a good white sangria recipe?

    Like

  4. Happy Birthday June!
    Your hair looks great and the last picture of you in this post and the one on your most recent Purple Clover post are fantastic! Perhaps your grotesque happiness is casting an extra beautiful glow around you?!

    Like

  5. Amish Annie…impressive recall! I did, indeed.
    Hah…Unruly…Edible Arrangements makes fruit baskets in the shape of flower bouquets. Guess they don’t have them in your neck of the woods, but they are ubiquitous here in the northeast. Disappointedly un-kinky, eh?
    I spent $189 on liquor for my birthday party. I bought one bottle of vodka, 11 bottles of sparkling wine, three bottles of red wine, and four bottles of sangria. (Already had some white wine, tequila and beer and my friends brought champagne). I thought I got a lot for my money. To think someone spent more than that on cigarettes…

    Like

  6. Sadie Sadie Pretty Lady, I will stand with you and we can not go on the ferris wheel together. I’d go on the tilt-a-whirl but I did that once with David Lang and he threw up his Payday candy bar the second we walked off. Yes, he did. He turned, faced me 18 inches away and BARF-O-WHIRL.

    Like

  7. You (and your hair) look pretty! Glad you got such lovely gifts. Please do post a pic of the earrings from Ned — can’t wait to see them, since he chose such a lovely, original necklace!

    Like

  8. Maybe if you divorce Typepad it will work better.
    I love to drink but now I get up-all-nighty and headachy the next day. This aging thing stinks. I love this though…

    Like

  9. Many alleged drunks are charming and delightful. Some of my favorite people are alleged to be drunks.

    Like

  10. True. And I paid $30 last week for a bottle that the guru told me had a cocoa finish and it didn’t. Dude must have been drinking and gave me the wrong bottle. Not happy about that. Been digging on $10 bottles of Sauvignon Blanc with grapefruity features lately though. Goes well with this heat. I sound like a drunk but I swear I’m not.

    Like

  11. Megsie, you did GOOD!
    There is another spelling/saying for when you want to draw out the reader’s attention, YOU ALL.

    Like

  12. Holy shit. Benson & Hedges? And I’m guessing about ten. Bottles of wine. More, if you’re willing to drink it from a paper bag, with your head on the curb.

    Like

  13. I was at a cigar store yesterday and the lady in front of me WROTE A CHECK and it took her FOREVER! And then she wrote it for the wrong amount and had to do it ALL OVER AGAIN. But the one thing I almost choked on my gum about was she was buying four cartons of Benson & hedges cigarettes and it came to $230!!! Do you know how many bottles of wine I could have bought for that?

    Like

  14. Ok, NOW I can everything much better, but still fuck Typepad.
    Your hair looks great. I love the black and white top you are wearing. I recently realized that I wear black and white almost exclusively and therefore spend a lot of time dressed like a moon pie.
    Awww, you guys. That thar is Catholic school penmanship. And it used to be much better before all this texting and emailing and newfangled shits. Who uses a pen anymore? Blue-hairs writin’ them thar checks at the mahrket, that’s who, sonny.
    Idk. The heat got to me, I guess.

    Like

  15. A gift from your ex on your ex-anniversary? The poor schlub that I’m married to can’t even remember to get a gift and we’re still married.

    Like

  16. Beautiful penmanship, Paula!
    Ned is so, so sweet! And… Marvin. No words. Did you get him a gift or card? I wonder if his fiancée knows he anniversary gifted you…
    Hulk… How long in Chicago? My daughter is playing in a softball tournament in suburb about 40 mins away. All weekend… In case you and NotChloe get bored. Or you get an itch to watch some fast pitch.
    And finally…
    TA TA TOOTHY!!!

    Like

  17. P.S. you and Ned should scream back over to Raleigh to see my favorite rock band, Living Colour, perform at the Lincoln Theater!

    Like

  18. Love your gifts! The stationary is my favorite. You always get very thoughtful presents. Your loved ones and FRs know you well!
    Never thought about Ned getting recognized, but I suppose that was only a matter of time. Way cool, though.
    Your hair looked great and you looked happy in your birthday portrait. So glad you enjoyed, except for that typepad foolishness.
    I got some great gifts this year. Must be a “50” thing. Lots of $50 gift cards. This Nook hd that I am logged onto now. Lots of books and body products. Lots of flower arrangements and desserts, including an Edible Arrangement. And two pair of earrings, one dangly, sparkly Michael Kors pair and a pair of studs in amazonite from Tiffanys. Yeah…it’s good to be 50! You’ll see, in two years!

    Like

  19. Not a June fan? Bet she reads your blog. What’s not to love about you except you had intimate relations with her man for many years. Pffft, easily gotten over.

    Like

  20. I once asked Marvin if I could get together with his new woman and he said, "Yeah, that's never gonna happen." I guess she is not a fan. Not a June fan. Not on Team June. She's saying bye-bye to this pie. Is what she's doing.

    Like

  21. That was sweet what Marvin did. I hope he put air holes in the box so she could breathe.
    For Pete’s sake, the way y’all are going, a sickening sweet cherry coke at the drugstore counter double date with Marvin and fiancee seems just around the corner.

    Like

  22. Hey, you will NOT catch me on that ferris wheel (I don’t like heights), or the scrambler, tilt whirl or any thing else that goes round and round, I hate to barf.
    Hulk, next time you come to Atlanta all the Atlanta Peeps can take NotChole down to the big wheel, but I’m almost positive Beverly would volunteer to accompany your sweet daughter on that ride.
    “A new fiancee.” I choked on my iced tea. Twitterpated is a great place to be, don’t you agree. Ned ❤ June.

    Like

  23. WHAT'S DRAMATIC? It was nice. It was funny. It's our crystal anniversary, see, so he gave me a bunch of packets of Crystal Light. Come on! That's funny stuff, right there.

    Like

  24. Your hair looks fabulous. I just might have to go and purchase the book. However, (and I don’t think it’d be giving away too much information) how long is the cycle, and which of those days do you deem your hair looks the best?
    Gosh, guess I should hope for a Ned sighting since I still haven’t been introduced to the dude. Colon, capital O, outer bracket.

    Like

  25. Let me just say that I’m glad it’s you and not me. Atlanta just put up a big ass ferris wheel and let me assure you and everyone else that I will NEVER ride on it. I hate ferris wheels as it is much less humongous ones.
    Give me the scrambler, tilt-a-whirl or octopus any day, just not a ferris wheel.

    Like

  26. Your hair looks FAB! I want to print out your picture to show my hairdresser next week and tell him, “THIS is what I want!”
    I’m on Day 5 of Curly Girl and my hair looks like a bag lady’s. The frizz is REALLY bad despite lots of conditioning.
    Yeah, I’m a catch.

    Like

  27. NotChloe and I are taking the train to Chicago tomorrow. She is making me go on the Skydeck and Navy Pier ferris wheel.
    So if you hear about some dude dying of fear due to being up so high, just don’t forget to include me in the year-end compilation…

    Like

  28. Anita, I thought it was very funny and I was going to comment on your comment as soon as I finished all the other comments and by then you had commented on your own comment. So there.

    Like

  29. I don’t think you look great for 48 – you just look great, period. Your HAIR! I would like to ask you a dozen Curly Girl related questions, but no! Watch me refrain! Call it a late birthday present.
    I covet every single present you received.
    OH! And Typepad is indeed a rat bastard. The spell check makes me insane with the unchecking itself. Also? Why can’t I add my son’s name to the spell check? Why does Typepad have to insist every single day that I’m spelling his name wrong. I KNOW IT’S WRONG. I WAS 24 WHEN I NAMED HIM.

    Like

  30. I’m the guilty woman that “Ned!”ed Ned at the boutique-y place. And I have been reading for a long ass time but this is only my second time commenting. My other comment was several years ago about where to buy jeans in Greensboro. Basically, meeting Ned was like meeting a celebrity. Also, I ordered new cards the other day and thought of which ones you would like the whole time.
    Happy Birthday June! Looking forward to meeting you at the boutique-y place sometime!

    Like

  31. When you’re done hating typepad, how’s about another picture of that necklace? Looks pretty, but the print on your shirt made my geezer eyes cross! Oh, and a picture of the Coach purse too! Glad you had a great birthday. That Ned! So nice!

    Like

  32. Your hair looks significantly curlier and less frizzy. I’m on week 2.5 and I’m really happy with the results. A coworker just started and is already happy. Oh and happy birthday!

    Like

  33. Oh, such lovely gifts. I didn’t know Orvis sold sheets that beautiful, I thought they only carried sheets with pine trees and bears on them.
    Ned…we all love him and love that he got Neded. So glad you two are together.
    That Lu is a sly dog.

    Like

  34. UM, where are the pictures of said Coach purse?!?!
    I blame Sue. Or Typepad.
    Looks like a fabulous birthday!

    Like

  35. for some reason guppy came to mind. but now that i’ve google’d them, no.
    i am so glad you had a fab birthday!

    Like

  36. You really scored, June! I’m referring to the gifts. I also want to see the Coach purse. You better check the pads on Talu’s little feetses. It’s a long walk to GA. You look great for 48! See what I did there?

    Like

  37. The kind you’d mount. Hee!
    If I’d known Lu was in town, June, I’d have arranged a Lulapalooza with SadieDog and the other Atlanta Pie Dogs.

    Like

  38. Happy happy happy second day after your birthday, June! May it be special and full of–no, wait. NOT full of surprises, for you that’s asking for trouble. Just adorned by an acceptable fish.

    Like

  39. You received lovely gifts! I particularly like your dangly necklace.
    Whenever I read “He’s a keeper!” my BRAIN thinks it says, “He’s a zookeeper!”

    Like

  40. And Ned is a good boy (acceptable fish!) for paying so much attention when you tell him things. May it always be so.

    Like

  41. One of the cards Ned got me said "You are a keeper" because I always tell him how you guys say that. Like he is some sort of acceptable fish. In fact, from now on, let's just say that. "He's an acceptable fish, June!"

    Like

  42. Typepad is in trouble!
    What a lovely birthday! That Ned, I know you have never heard this but, he is a keeper. I am so happy for the two of you, because, you know–you are a keeper too.
    Who knew that Lu could travel?
    Lovely (hating Typepad) post June!

    Like

  43. Ooh, Jurassic Park! (right?)
    June, you made out like a bandit. Which you do, I’m sure. I love the card from Paula.
    Those tendrils look great.

    Like

  44. Sadie, I received a card from Tallulah yesterday, and curiously, it came from Atlanta-ish, and one wonders why Talu went all the way to Georgia to mail me a card. One also wonders where she got a stamp.

    Like

  45. Wow! 48 certainly agrees with you because you look stunning.
    And how did I know that card was going to be signed by Just Paula? I’m psychic I tell you.

    Like

  46. I love all your gifts and fuck Tyoepad. I love your top and fuck Typepad. Ned is a sweetie and fuck Typepad. I would like to see the Coach bag but can’t because of fucking Typepad. So fuck Typepad in both its ears.
    You wear out your sheets because of the dogs? Riiiiiiiigggghhhhtttt.

    Like

  47. Time to dump Typepad’s ass.
    I didn’t know Orvis had such girly sheets. I want that cupcake. Glad you had a lovely birthday. You don’t look a day over 48.
    Paula has such nice handwriting.

    Like

  48. No way am I first! This never happens. My commenting also never happens. But I had to stampede over (see what I did there?) to tell you how lovely your hair looks!

    Like

Comments are closed.