My head is killing me, and despite today's title, I'm not dead but I wish I were. I've had this damn migraine on and off since Thursday, and today it's bad bad bad. As Olivia Soprano used to say, I wish the good Lord would just take me. However, since I have to blog anyway… Continue reading She died doing what she loved…
I believe... ...that most people are good. ...that sushi is overrated. ...that most people are telling the truth. ...that the sun is better for you than they currently think it is. ...that almost nothing is absolute. The stuff I was convinced I knew when I was 25 has pretty much all turned out to be,… Continue reading Things I believe. Things I don’t believe.
Of course you knew I'd be running late today, what with the Ned-ding, right? Fortunately, I do have visual aids for you today. Oh, not that, you perv. Yesterday I was in here meditating and please note this is not really while I'm meditating, because what kind of an asshole photographs herself during meditation? I… Continue reading The Return of the Ned
I hate to think of myself as someone who has only white, college-educated friends (the same as me), but mostly I have white, college-educated friends. I guess that happens, right? You end up making friends mostly with people of the same background. Still. Hate. Say, June, how 'bout you be vanilla? The point is, back… Continue reading The thing is, the line, “That bootie talkin’ to me” is never part of my lexicon.
I guess I'm up. I slept terribly. I was kind of afraid this would happen: I was fine all week without Ned, because, I guess, we do have weeknights where we don't see each other. Four weeknights in a row? Okay, not so much, but still, with the workweek and the dog-walking and the back-to-back… Continue reading The one where June gets kind of sad without Ned.
so I'm not Freaky Friday-ing today, if that's okay with everyone. I've barely gotten a chance to talk to you. Dang. As I mentioned in some other what-I'm-certain-was-annoying post, Ned has been gone all week. He was in Las Vegas, and I guess we're supposed to feel sorry for him, but there's something about the… Continue reading I think this week’s been freaky enough
It is Wednesday evening and I am finally trusting Typepad enough to tell you the rest of my Easter weekend, and there I go being insensitive to other religions again. I didn't even CELEBRATE Easter, so I don't know why I keep calling it that, other than I got Good Friday off, which by the… Continue reading Hawk Look. Or, Teeth of the Hydra Upon You.
This site's gonna be the death of me. Typepad is STILL having problems and this thing comes and goes constantly. When I went to log in today, I got the big warning you get sometimes about how I was logging in to an unsafe site. I've been logging in to this site since 2006! Now… Continue reading In the room the women come and go, talking of Michelangelo
When I got up today, I was convinced I wouldn't be able to get on my blog again. How disconCERTing, the whole of Typepad being broken for that long. Fang. "Fang." Goddammit. I've lost my ability to type since this was a real blog that worked. So I guess what I'll do is run down… Continue reading Fang
I do not trust that this will even work; Typepad's been broken for days, and one thing that was fun was watching people yell at Typepad on Facebook. "MY BLOG IS CRUCIAL TO THE SURVIVAL OF THE SPECIES!!!" Anyway. I'll yammer on at you and will be talking to myself, kind of like when I… Continue reading When I said I was broke, I meant me, not my blog. Yeesch.
I know you're wondering where I am, but the truth is I got a letter from the IRS saying I owe even more than I thought, and I wouldn't even bring it up, because everyone's finances are sucky these days, but that's why I'm not here. I am just at the end of my rope… Continue reading Not dead
Yesterday after work, I got together with people from work, 4939292 of whom are named Alex. We met up at the pretentious bookstore downtown, and eventually there were so many of us that we had to move to the back of the store, and at 7:00 they kicked us out altogether for a book club… Continue reading My gouda with Alex
Last night? I shut the dogs out and slept alone. I am a terrible dog mother. I might be the worst dog mother since that awful woman starved that Pit Bull and left him in the laundry chute (oh, he's fine now. Calm down). (That woman got arrested and spent some time in jail, but… Continue reading The one where you wish June weren’t quite so well-rested
On Sunday, I went with Ned to a baptism in his family. I know you're sick and tired of hearing about Ned and me getting up early and being at a church on Sunday. But there we were again. In case you were thinking that I always ride in back, like Ned and I are… Continue reading Look at me!
I'm gonna tell you what I did this weekend, and it'll be just like when you're at the coffeemaker at work, and you ask someone how their weekend was, and they drone on about it for 78 minutes. So get that fake, pained smile on your face and prepare to say, "Uh-huh!" a lot as… Continue reading peeee peee peeee peeee
I am on the road today. Again. I just couldn't wait to get on the road again. Oh my god what is wrong with me? I have to scream on over to Chapel Hill today, because my friends Chris and Lilly own a feed store, and I'm hungry. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA. It's called Piedmont Feed & Garden… Continue reading Band on the run. If I were a band. Which I’m not. So.
Guess what I still don't have. I STILL don't have permission to tell Hulk's story. Oh my god I am the worst. I will tell it as soon a I can. In the meantime, Marty Martin and his girlfriend Kayeeee and Ned and I went to a Scrabble tournament, as you do. I know you're… Continue reading Take a letter, Maria. The letter “F.” For Freaky Friday.
Due to the small detail where I have to ask someone permission to tell the latest hard-hitting news about Hulk's sex life, and due to the part where I did not get ahold of said person in order to GET said permission, I am unable to tell you today about Hulk's riveting sex life. So… Continue reading The part where you’re irked that you tuuuuuuned in today
I am making a turkey burger (7 points) and while it's cooking, I will blog at you. Although I hate to interrupt the extremely disturbing commenting going on from the small post I left this morning. Anyway, how are you all? I have several stupid things I've been meaning to tell you, and here they… Continue reading My lunch with June
because I was Ned-ing. I will write when I come home for lunch. In the meantime, if you haven't read yesterday's comments, I highly suggest you do, but get ready to be spun in 40 directions. Also be ready for absolutely filthy talk about Mr. Clean and poor Duncan Hines.