I guess I'm up. I slept terribly.

I was kind of afraid this would happen: I was fine all week without Ned, because, I guess, we do have weeknights where we don't see each other. Four weeknights in a row? Okay, not so much, but still, with the workweek and the dog-walking and the back-to-back Long Island Medium-ing and the laundry, I was busy and fine. But I was worried that if I SAW Ned, I'd get sad that he had to leave again.

And guess what? Yesterday I saw Ned, and it was great, and then I had to go back to work and he headed to the beach. "Everyone's already there," he told me during "lunch" yesterday. "I have to get there and start drinking defensively."

"You know, Ned, you're almost 50. You don't have to drink like an idiot anymore when you're with your friends."

Ned had a blank look when I told him that, the kind I'd give someone who'd tell me, "You really can't afford Botox." I'm having the feeling that while I'm up at 8 a.m., Ned might be what you'd call sleeping it off somewhere on his manly trip.

I made plans for last night, thinking that'd cheer me up, but I've been struggling with a ding-dang stupid assy migraine since Thursday, and yesterday we had a bad thunderstorm, which is not helpful to my head. Barometric pressure. Did you know that's a migraine trigger? I am full of the facts.

So I rescheduled my plans till tomorrow, and my friend Jo emailed me funny pictures from her adventures out last night, which was fun. For example, she saw this painting on a bathroom wall. I mean…

LabeI wish I could figure out what this reminds me of. Twat could it be? Let's talk about it later; I have to sit on this for awhile. I'll C U Next Tuesday.

The other day at work I was j0king around with TinaDoris and told her "I'll C U Next Tuesday," and my boss said, "Oh, are you going somewhere?"

June's work jokes. Often the same work jokes Jackie Kennedy made at HER job.

Anyway. So, today yawns before me with no plans other than my dinner/drinks plans tonight with The Tall Boy. Oh, calm down. He has a girlfriend and I have a Ned and it's no big deal. We're friends. But when I told Ned, I got the "realllllly" he always whips out when I do anything with The Tall Boy. He called me from his drive, Ned did, to complain about the traffic and to say how beautiful it was near the beach, and then he asked what I had planned for the weekend. So I told him I was going to see The Tall Boy at some point over the weekend.


Whatever with Ned. Y'all know I'm trustworthy. That is what matters.

I have $81 till payday, and I'm going out on the town tonight to get as wild as I can be, I'm gonna FIND out what's it's really like to be loose, high and free, so the things I want to today do seem sort of out of the question. I was tempted to go to estate sales (watch June spend her entire $81) or to the Farmers Market (say, where'd June's $81 go? Oh! I know! To processed food at the Farmers Market!), but since I can't spend at either, I think what I'll do instead is clean my gutters.


Is there any danger my gutters will have snakes in them?  You know how I am. I went through this whole scenario: birds might make a nest in my gutters (in which case I'd let them be nesty, and not clean that particular part) (and maybe I might kiss the eggs just a little), then snakes slither up there to eat bird eggs. Is that a realistic scenario? Please alert me if it is so I can blow off gutter cleaning.

Oh! I forgot! I took pictures yesterday with my barely working camera and my webcam, to encapsulate my non-Ned fun last night.

IMG_0312Here's Edsel's regular pose, gazing at me longingly while I do important things like look at Facebook. Did I mention the flash was broken on my iPhone? and usually it won't let me take any pictures at all? I'd take it in but see above reference to $81. I will take it in after payday, though, because this is bullshit. I'm a professional blogger.


LileehaytejoonI also took time out of my busy schedule to torment Lily, who may or may not be ordering bombs from the Acme Company right now.

Photo on 4-25-14 at 8.33 PMOh, and here's I love the nightlife me putting on my pajamas at 8:30. Have become professional sadsack. I do love those pajamas, though. Thanks, mom.

You know what? There's an estate sale that started at 9 and it's six minutes away from me. Fuck it. Don't let me buy anything.

32 thoughts on “The one where June gets kind of sad without Ned.

  1. June Gardens says:

    Kit, we should go together to those!
    Sent from my iPhone


  2. June Gardens says:

    Mom, as I said in my blog, I wasn't going to buy anything. I didn't buy anything.
    Sent from my iPhone


  3. Mother says:

    I wish you would tell us what you bought at the sale.


  4. kit from the vintage shop says:

    I went..got some cute things! that phone was cool.


  5. Cheech says:

    I was OK with the fig picture until I saw that it was leaking juice. That just made me have to pee.
    C U next Tuesday!
    Just think of how nice it will be when Ned is back, June. Ahhh, memories of desperately missing my husband when we were much younger. Toward the end of the marriage, I prayed for him to go away and stay there, but he kept coming home! Funny how your perspective changes. I’m glad you miss your Ned.


  6. BamaCarol says:

    Checking in on a Ned-less June and see that she has plans for the evening. I wish I could un-see that fig painting and cannot for the life of me understand why one would want that particular painting in the ladies room. At least we got pictures of Edz ears, beautiful Lilly and the Fleur de pajamas of June. I spent most of my day with my mother in law who, bless her heart, is happiest when everyone else is miserable. At least the weather was wonderful outside and I spent most of my time sitting under the dogwoods enjoying a nice breeze. June I hope you have a nice Sunday…when will you see Ned again?


  7. Just Paula says:

    I’m pretty sure that picture of a fig was part of the instructional enclosure in my first box of tampons, lo those many years ago.


  8. Tee says:

    You didn’t buy that turquoise phone?
    This is my take on the snake in the gutters. I doubt very seriously if birds would build a nest in the gutters because it is so out in the open, they usually want some type of shelter. Taking that into consideration, there aren’t any bird eggs for the snake to eat.


  9. Letha, June seems so musical today, says:

    At my estate sale I bought a toothbrush, some toothpaste, a flannel for my face.


  10. Letha, June seems so musical today, says:

    At my estate sale I bought a toothbrush, some toothpaste, a flannel for my face.


  11. Letha, June seems so musical today, says:

    At my estate sale I bought a toothbrush, some toothpaste, a flannel for my face.


  12. June Gardens says:

    Mostly at my estate sale, I was just looking at how cute the house could be, once it wasn’t decorated in 1970 Old Lady. She DID have a turquoise (!!!) push-button phone on the kitchen wall that even had that pointy cushion thing so you could rest it on your shoulder. Tempted. Tempted by the phone of another.


  13. Laurie in TN says:

    I worked an estate sale today and came home with some cash and some freebies! Hoping to start an online shop of some kind, so I needed inventory. There was some good vintage there!


  14. June Gardens says:

    Oh my god, I have to stop leaving comments on my own blog, but also too, last night I was trying to sleep and kept thinking of whoever left that comment yesterday that whenever she tries to make a “come hither” look she looks instead like she has to drop a deuce.
    I kept giggling and couldn’t sleep.


  15. June Gardens says:

    Oh! And another thing! I got a Purple Clover check in the mail today so I’m richer than $81!!!! Woooooo! June Moneybags.


  16. June Gardens says:

    He was very nice to me yesterday during "lunch." I don't just mean in THAT way, but also telling me how awful it's been for him this week, and how much he loves me, and really all that did was make me miss him more today. But Tall Boy is on his way to keep me amused! We're going to an outdoor place to eat and talk and have ourselves a time. That should cheer me up. And I've already picked out a movie for myself tomorrow, and I will try not to spend every second thinking, "Ned and I usually go to a movie on Sunday afternoon." I hope I don't forget he's not out buying the tickets while I get him a Cheerwine with extra ice.
    What I am is pathetic.


  17. Danna who yearns for a good estate sale in Hawaii says:

    Damn it! Why aren’t there estate sales here in Oahu. Oh man, the stuff that you can find at those! I’m sorry that you’re Ned Nickersonless. He should be really super sweet to you in order to make up for his absence. Oh wait, he is already the best ever! He really should have set the bar lower early on so that he has nowhere to go but up.


  18. Sadie says:

    Thank you, DW’s Mom. I actually knew it was a fig. It’s just the way it was painted in the ladies’ room that was a bit much.
    I went to both estate/moving sales. One had very contemporary high end items. Not my style, but I did find ten dollars’ worth at the second one. With the 50% off they were offering, I only had to spend five. Not bad at all.
    Afterwards, Mr. Sadie and I had a late lunch at a new restaurant. That’s lunch, not “lunch”. “Lunch” would have taken PDA to a new level.


  19. DW's Mom - June has snakeless gutters says:

    Fig ! The painting that is. When I first saw it I immediately remembered how figs look when you cut them open.


  20. PJ says:

    It’s hard when you haven’t had enough of him yet and he goes out of town.
    I tell my husband at least once a week that I have not had enough of him yet. I don’t think I ever will.


  21. PJ says:

    Never seen a snake in all the years I cleaned our gutters. But do wear gloves. It’s yucky, but a satisfying job.
    Are you sure that wasn’t in the men’s room? Because honestly, I thought it was the orifice down the hall and was totally grossed out. I did FIGure it out, as Texas Keri did, but well, and I am definitely not that kind of girl. I mean one who works down the hall.


  22. Mother says:

    I bought you something at an estate sale this morning.


  23. Texas Kari says:

    No there will not be snakes in your gutters, but wear gloves because there will be a bug or two.


  24. Texas Kari says:

    I love estate sales! I go to them all the time as I far prefer old things to new things.
    I am about to start reading Orphan Train for book club or Book Club as someone likes to call it. Anybody read it yet?
    That painting!! Can’t FIGure it out. The drip is entirely too much.


  25. June Gardens says:

    NOBODY’S ANSWERING ME ABOUT SNAKES IN THE GUTTER. I’m running out of other things to do and if I see a snake I.Will.DIE and it’ll be all your fault for not telling me, “Joooon! There might be snakes in the gutter!”


  26. Heather P. says:

    I love those pajama’s. Edsel just slays me. If you need to sell him for the stinking IRS, I will definitely buy him. Love that face.


  27. Don’t worry about Ned’s being gone for the weekend, June. After all, you’ll always have Paris (pajamas).


  28. Sadie says:

    You’ve just reminded me that there are TWO estate sales nearby. Should I go?
    Happy birthday, Jeanie! Celebrating with your daughter in San Francisco sounds like the perfect day.
    Pretty pajamas, June. I’d suggest changing into old work clothes for cleaning the gutters. Otherwise, you would ruin the Eiffel Towers.
    The bathroom painting? Good grief! Wonder what’s on the walls in the men’s room, a banana?


  29. Megsie says:

    What you need is another good book. Then you will have a fun place to be while Edsel snuggles you.
    Have fun with the Tall Boy tonight. And don’t buy anything at that Estate Sale.
    Lovely Pajamas, June!


  30. Heather says:

    Geez you and Ned definitely need to move in together already! Then when he’s out of town you’ll sort or relish the quiet when he’s out of town…. 🙂
    Also, twat could it be? Died. Read it to my boyfriend who almost choked on his breakfast.


  31. Jeanie says:

    Oh, I hope you enjoy your nightlife with Tall Boy, and especially the estate sale. The picture of Eds kills me. Love that boy and, furthermore, love your jammers. I’m heading to San Francisco in an hour-ish to celebrate my 70th with my daughter. Dinner at House of Prime Rib. Yum!


  32. Duffylou says:

    I’m sorry you’re lonely without Ned. That’s a good thing, though. He should be flattered. My guy travels. A lot. At first I uses to be bothered because we have a big scary house, built in 1930. It moans and creaks and what not. But, it’s going on seven years living together and now I enjoy his little trips and my alone time.
    Also and too, I had an art showing of my paintings. My grown kids were all in attendance. While there, they started pointing out to each other vaginas in my paintings. Now I can’t unsee said lady parts. Kids. Gotta love ’em.


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