It's Sunday night and I'm at a coffee shop, using their Wi-Fi because of course my house is still in shambles from painting the damn computer room floor, and I have no modem. Before all hell broke loose and I lost my cat, I'd been very concerned about the shiny coat of sealer I put… Continue reading Where June’s Weekend Has Sort of a Pall (Mall)
Godammit, you guys, Lily is missing. How many of these "My pet's gone" posts am I gonna WRITE? She never ever goes outside. Remember once, two years ago, when she ventured out and meowed under a bush in my yard till I got her? When it's warm, and I'm home, I leave the back door… Continue reading My sweet, round Lily
Last night Ned and I went to a strip club, which was my idea, and I already promised MY EDITOR I'd write about it for Purple Clover so I will tell you all about it then. In the meantime, I decided since my spare bedroom is all empty anyway, and now the ceilings are painted,… Continue reading Boom Boom Room
Today at work, we're having a photo sesh, because we're revamping the company website. They've asked me to be one of the people posing for said pictures, and in my mind I had us phonily leaning over the conference room table, looking over a document--something I never, ever do in real life. But it turns… Continue reading Call me Ishmael, M’lady
Once Ned and I were at a restaurant, and it was the kind of seating where there's the long booth against the wall and then little tables, so you think you're sitting alone but really you're just sharing a long booth with a bunch of horrific strangers. Next to us sat this couple, and the… Continue reading On the grand occasion of Ned’s birthday
Yay! Here they all are, upright this time! You have to click on the picture to see everyone. Still! Sent from my iPhone
I think this is the only time I captured all four of them on film. I feel like I snapped Nessie or something. Sent from my iPhone
This was Ned's fortune cookie yesterday. "Yeah, no kidding," he said, munching his cookie. I never actually eat the fortune cookie. Do you? Here was mine. Apparently Claude Monet created mine. Anyway, that's nice, right? Although I said to Ned, "They probably mean some guy in the next booth." Because I am a wonderful womanfriend.… Continue reading The one where Ned and June are homeless.
got sold. Ned and I can't move in.
Tonight I decided to go through old papers and throw out what I don't need. Here's my meal card photograph from when I went to Michigan State in the '80s. I should do that with my hair again. Actually, my hair is kind of doing that right now. Minus the mullet. I found all sorts… Continue reading Another sideways picture. How you vex me, iPhone
Well, Ned and I finished our many painful tasks this weekend. I painted the concrete floor, which I will take a picture of, calm down, as soon as I can. It's night now and the pictures won't turn out with this lack-of-flashbulb cell phone. Could I have a more first-world problem? I am still blogging… Continue reading June blogs from her phone again. In unrelated news, it sucks.
I am sitting on the front porch using Siri, so sue me if there are typos in this. Ned is painting the ceiling in the bedroom, and I am about to paint the concrete floor. Last night we took every single stitch of furniture out of that room and today I have sanded the concrete… Continue reading Come and knock on our door. Which is in the living room.
Yesterday I was still busy being me and my boss, and we have this poor guy we hired to fill in for The Other Copy Editor, who picked this week to quit, and I have said almost no words to the poor new guy. All I've really said to him are "Hi" and "Are you… Continue reading Uriah Cheep
Between showing this house every night (Now TWO people really want it!), scraping the floor after viewers go, doing my boss's job at work and my own, I am hugely tired. Talk amongst yourselves today. Does anyone have any good moving tips? Other than "hire movers," which I would dearly love to do.
What I love about Tallulah is she is unwaveringly enthusiastic about food. I'll bet you can't say that about your dog. Just now she was here on the floor, gnawing at her bone with some kind of tasty crap inside like kitten innards or something that Ned got for her--and thanks Ned, because when they… Continue reading Joooon Gardens, landlord
It's hard to get used to how FRICKING CLEAN this house is, in anticipation of the people traipsing through to look at everything. I walk into a room and go, "Oh! Crap, it's clean in here." My Uncle Leo used to say about people: "They're so clean" as if that were a bad trait. I… Continue reading The one where I meander and don’t get right to the point
As I was logging in today, there was an article on the side of the log-in page called something like, "Seven Blogging Mistakes You're Probably Making." Probably rule number one is blogging about what you see on your sign-in page. Also, I understand that some yahoo somewhere determined we all stampede to articles with numbers… Continue reading Eight Ways to Irk June
I tell you what, y'all. Since Friday night, Ned and I have painted my bedroom ceiling, scraped this stupid concrete floor that you know vexes me, washed the curtains--the CURTAINS!!--washed the couch cushions and spot cleaned the whole doggie couch with alcohol (I Googled it), scrubbed absolutely everything, re-vamped the closet space, conducted an orchestra… Continue reading Mime juice
Yesterday I was in the kitchen at work when my phone rang. It was the property manager for that house. "June, I talked to the owner. He's willing to go down on the price AND the pet deposit." You can imagine the pet deposit he wants. My voice stayed calm while I talked to the… Continue reading Eye of the Iris
You guys, I love that house. I LOVE THAT HOUSE. Love. In case you didn't tune in yesterday, and what's your phony excuse, Ned and I are looking for a place to live. We wanted something big so that his 14-year-old cat can have a few rooms to herself, and also so we don't get… Continue reading Oh, and be sure to give me advice. I love that.