Branch manager

This morning I saw a branch in my driveway. Being a branch manager, IMG_0666I went out to investigate.

"Branch manager." How do you stand the hilarity?

IMG_0667It turns out a huge part of my cool old tree fell down. We had serious rain night before last, and I have no idea why it waited till last night to collapse, but what I can say is Dear Ned. You gots you a tree to clean up. I tried to move it myself and pfft.

IMG_0669It even (ethen) uprooted my lavender. I LOVE my lavender. That tree is on my list.

As I was photographing this disaster in my polka-dot robe, guess who just waltzed out the front door? ware mom? ware mom? need mom. ware–chitz. she see edz.

IMG_0670 IMG_0671Here's the part where he turns into an ashamed letter C, like he does. edz so sorry. cannot express.

Oh, come here, you moron.

IMG_0672 IMG_0673
IMG_0674oh yay oh yay oh yay. MOM!

I just want you to know that after I put up that last picture, my mouse stopped working, so I changed the damn batteries and…nothing. NOTHING. I did the technical trick where you beat the crap out of the mouse and still, nothing. So I did the obvious thing. I called Marvin. He made me unplug my computer and plug it back in, and for a terrifying moment there was blackness, just like in my soul, and then boom. Computer was on, mouse worked.

So now I'm pressed for time, and wanted to tell you how I went to yoga in the park with Bitchy Resting Face Alex and TinaDoris last night, but now there's no time to tell about it. Fleeta had also said she was gonna go, then said she had plans. "I'm gonna have to blog about you canceling," I warned.

"Go ahead, but if you put in that awful picture you always use for me, I'm gonna kill you."

So I got up and took a picture of here right then and there, and here's Fleeta's Official New Photo®.

IMG_0661Cute dress.

Tonight Ned and I are looking at a house to rent, which we will probably not take because they want nine hundred million dollars a month, but OH, it's lovely and is half a mile from my work and also it has four bedrooms so we can ignore each other if we want. So what'll happen is I'll look at it and get emotionally attached and then feel bad I can't live there. Kind of like every time I visited San Francisco back when I lived in LA.

June, branching out.

77 Comments

  1. Jeanie, did your dad’s Dusty Rhoades live in Oklahoma? I think I bought something from him on eBay about ten years ago! That Dusty Rhoades did auto racing too… wouldn’t it be amazing if it was the same guy!?

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  2. We lived there 5 years ago, AA. Two of my boys still live there. So, that’s a plus. But I was just getting things here the way I like it. Now, I start over.

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  3. Oh,, I will miss the water. Boating, fishing, the beach. But, I like money too and that’s where he found a job. Maybe we will come back some day.

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  4. Oh, no! I think we established yesterday that there is nothing I ‘d rather do on a weekend but cook, clean and organize. It’s a sickness. Really.
    On a side note: I wonder once my kids are out of the house if weekends will revert to being for sex and movies. I remember those days. Barely. But the memory surfaces occasionally. Then I ruin the memory by thinking of all the times I could have been cleaning and organizing instead of boffing all day.

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  5. I’ve gone back several times today and looked at that picture of June holding Edsel’s face in her hand. Edsel’s eyes. Oh dear doggie. And the funny perspective in that shot–June’s tiny little foot.

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  6. Love the house. Is your house just too small? Also, did I miss a post somewhere? In the space of a month from broken up to moving in together? Is that nosy? I want to know.

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  7. I love that house! And I love the name of the street. Sounds very you.
    Looks like I’ll be in the housing market too. Atlanta Pieps, we are moving back to the area! I can’t believe I’m moving. Again. Time to start making the lists and purging all my crap.

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  8. PamelaSoulSister I’m so sorry for your neighbor. That is just horrifying.
    June that house is lovely, however the only concern I would have is those radiators. Before you sign on the dotted line be sure to find out how much that place is to heat in the winter and cool in the summer.

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  9. Pamela:
    If you need us to write letters or send emails to authorities, we can mobilize as Harley’s Heroes and create a deluge of mail.

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  10. Great house! The apartment across the hall from my daughter’s place was for rent about five years ago. They wanted $1999 for it, and it was no larger than a fair-sized living room. I mean, it was tiny! My daughter’s place is fairly large, and she pays about half that. She’s been there for years, plus rent control. But that’s San Francisco for ya.
    My dad also knew a Dusty Rhoades years ago. He was somehow involved in auto racing.

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  11. Koodles! Moving on up with Ned! Can’t wait to see how his kitty will be with your crew and vice versa. Has never ever lived with anyone before? This whole process could be great fodder for Purple Clover!
    I may have missed this, but are you going to try and sell your place first or try and rent it out? And will moving in with Ned be contingent on selling/renting where you both are now? Hope the market is good where you are.
    Oooohhh – exciting big steps!!

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  12. Love the house, especially the porch, the fireplace and built-ins, and the sunny breakfast room. Rents here in the Twin Cities have risen steadily, and some of my condo neighbors are receiving a pretty tidy sum for less than 800sf. Sadly, no porch.
    Have any of the animals in June’s House of Pets met NedKitty yet?

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  13. The house is absolutely darling! In the description it says it has a partially fenced yard. My former dog would have Houdini’d herself in 1.3 seconds in a partially fenced yard. I hope it’s perfect for you!

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  14. Is it going to bother the Pie Organizing Crew that June and Ned will be having sex and going to movies while all y’alls are cookin’ and organizing?

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  15. Tee, since we’re both in Atlanta…..before I bought my house I was paying $1,050 per month for a 700 square foot duplex unit. So $1,700 for a 4 bedroom single family house doesn’t sound too bad to me.

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  16. I love the house!! With all your cute furniture in there it will be perfect. And not peeling floor!
    I got up this morning and after drinking a lot of coffee finally tackled the room of doom. Cleaned it as much as I am willing to right now, once I get ready to paint it, I will finish. Thank you to yesterdays commenters for motivating me.

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  17. LOVE THE HOUSE! It reminds me of your current home with the blue counter tops in the kitchen, the hardwood floors and even a piano. Does that stay? And all those places to store books. I guess I’m totally out of touch with rent, but I thought the $1,700 was expensive as well.
    I’ll be right there with Jan and Paula at the organization party. Get all those boxes unpacked and out of there. Fun, fun, fun.
    How nice that The Nester found you. She has done some amazing things to their new home in the country.
    Fleeta is da bomb in that red dress. Got to love the Edz, he’s just trying to assist the Branch Manager.

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  18. Pamela Soul Sister who got to talk to neighbor Bill last night, hugged him while he cried says:

    I guess you can find most people these days, as long as they are on the grid.

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  19. Pamela Soul Sister who got to talk to neighbor Bill last night, hugged him while he cried says:

    They are really struggling, Bobbi. The whole neighborhood is reeling.
    Melinda spent two nights in hospital. She is mending, but grief-stricken. Got a chance to talk to Bill last night. He’s devastated. Told the story of how he came to be Harley’s dad. Talked about how good Harley was and how much he meant to him. He told me about how my little boy and his girl pal would spend hours in Bill’s side yard, playing with Harley. Totally uninvited, but welcome.
    I am drafting a community letter, expressing our shock and outrage over the fact that the driver was not ticketed or tested for alcohol. Also, Bill and Melinda are going to storm the police department on Friday and demand a copy of the police report. They were told it would take 30 days, but that it just not acceptable. They have one week (Friday) and then they are going to have some shirt on their hands.
    Thanks for asking. I’ll let ya’ll know what happens.

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  20. The house is beautiful. And I’m envious of all you who think that is expensive. That’s average to low for Denver metro rentals. Good luck with the decision.
    Love the Edsel pictures. And it must be a job requirement that all employees are gorgeous.

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  21. Lovely house, June. 4 bedrooms is a bonus as well. One for you and Ned. One for Edsel and Talu. One for the three cats. And one for guests. Perfect.

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  22. It appears that Edsel is applying for Assistant Branch Manager. From all appearances, bet he’s a real brown-noser.
    I do like Fleeta’s Official New Photo. Very pretty.
    Good luck with the house hunting/house fixing up. Or would it be more accurate to say house huntin’/house fixin’ up since we’re in the South?

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  23. Pamela Soul Sister who got to talk to neighbor Bill last night, hugged him while he cried says:

    My friend is about to rent a house half that size for $2150…and we think that is reasonable for our area.
    Why do I live here, again?
    Anyway, I suspect you’ve already ruled out that charmer because you would not give us access to your potential address.
    We do be stalky.

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  24. Cheech,
    This Dusty Rhoads became an Attorney. I also went to school with a girl name Shu Lacey. WHY do parents do this to their children?
    I love the house June. I wish my rent was $1700, heck Petite Chambre’ is almost that much and it’s only 600 sq ft.
    Also if you got roofied then I must have gotten cellared because I couldn’t sleep a wink

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  25. It’s so lovely! I hope you do fall in love with it and rent it. I think it’s quite the fit for the Nickerson’s.
    It’s less than both of your housing costs combined? Wouldn’t that help each of you?
    If you do get it, I’m flying out there to decorate the porch. I call dibs. Paula can come with me and the two of us will organize the shirt out of the unpacking process for you. OH! And I’ll cook for everyone every night. Tell Ned to be ready. The *party is coming.
    *If two organization freaks are your idea of a party…

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  26. It is gorgeous!! I love it! I hope it works out for y’all to get it so we can see pictures of the two of you hanging out on that wonderful front porch.

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  27. Charming house! Rent seems high to me, but it is a good-sized place. I am sure being close to town adds to the price. It is all about what the market will bear!
    Good luck on your decision – never an easy one.

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  28. Pamela Soul Sister who got to talk to neighbor Bill last night, hugged him while he cried says:

    Wait…$1,700 is expensive?
    I am missing out on a much cheaper cost of living.

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  29. Pamela Soul Sister who got to talk to neighbor Bill last night, hugged him while he cried says:

    Oh, that is nice. Looks like your style. Lovely.

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  30. Pamela Soul Sister who got to talk to neighbor Bill last night, hugged him while he cried says:

    I like the photos. So clear! And, Fleeta!
    I’m wearing those colors today, but I don’t look anywhere near as cute.
    The photo of your lavender reminds me of when we first bought our house and I dug up a lavender plant, thinking it was a weed. That was some stooped shirt.
    Yesterday’s organizing comments had me so inspired to work on my major purge. I made considerable headway in my bedroom, while my husband watched basketball. At one point, after observing me huffing and puffing a sweating, he said, “You really are getting a workout.” Yeah…decluttering and organizing is quite physical. I collapsed afterwards and probably got roofied.

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  31. That’s what I did, too. I was reaching for the FF but then thought SCREW IT. I’m glad you like it.
    I’m googling the shirt out of roofies videos right now. I have a feeling Ned figured out how to afford the nine hundred million a month.
    Nine hundred million a month? You should be laughing at that after living in LA!

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  32. Bee, I knew a Dusty Rhoads, too! His Mom’s name was Sandy. I can’t believe there was more than one person in the world who thought that name was a good idea.

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  33. Well, your Ginger and Cinnamon Crisp trump my Ginger Cinnamon. Gevalt.

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  34. See, here is the difference between you and me……
    You see a branch laying on the ground and come up with branch manager and a hilarious post for us to enjoy.
    Me? I walk out and see tree limbs laying on the ground get stressed, kick them out of the way and zoom off to work. Because, late to work. Always.
    I wish my brain worked a bit more like yours. I’m certain there are so many fun things in life I miss. But alas I guess I’ll just live vicariously through you.

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  35. KD in the South of the Cal,
    Another earthquake in Barstow. Too far for me to feel. I digress…
    I once babysat a pair of twins named….Cinnamon and Ginger…wait for it…. Crisp. Yeah It could be a stripper duet. I got the job because my dad was friends with their uncle Dusty Roads. SWEAR TO BOB!

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  36. What a thoughtful gesture…to be roofied by the one you love on a dark and stormy night.

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  37. Tina the Tit Hair! How can they be 2 inches long overnight? This is such a mystery.

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  38. Apparently, according to EVERYONE, there was a big storm last night. Ned said he came to bed four minutes after I did and I was completely unconscious. I remember nothing about any storm. Ned must have roofied me.

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  39. Goodness, Bee…how I wish I was on the face of the book, or however you refer to it, so I could play No One Warned Me. I was hysterical reading your comment. I liked your Maryanne without Ginger reference, too.

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  40. Great post, June. You absolutely bring your pets to vivid life…anthropomorphically. This just made me laugh. Thank you. Perhaps the branch sucked up the rain, so to speak, and became so heavy that it couldn’t hold on any longer, gave up and came down?

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  41. Oh, I get the reference! I always liked her better than Ginger! Ah, the old, dopey sitcoms! If I added up the time I spent watching, Gilligan’s Island, Hogan’s Heroes and Green Acres, I bet it would be enough time to be become a nuclear physicist or concert flutist instead of the weird trivia recepticle I am today!

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  42. To answer Tee and Just Paula from yesterday’s post. My December birthday is also at the end of November. 27th to be precise. We are like 3 peas in a pod.

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  43. What is with the tree? Very odd behavior for a tree, isn’t it?
    Poor Edsel thought Mom was leaving without giving him his all-day kiss on his forehead. Poor Edsel.
    And I bet Tallulah was still in bed, wasn’t she?
    Fleeta looks beautiful and her dress is spectacular. Love that dress!

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  44. PJ made me laugh. I had to keep re-reading her comment cause it got funnier each time.
    Fleeta = Adorable. How cute is she! I love her earrings too, perfect with that outfit. Why are all the people you work with so cute? I had no idea how cute I was when I was their age or I didn’t think much about it. Looking at pictures of all your youthful co-workers makes me yearn just a tiny bit to go back to my 20s. They all seem so happy. Like Fleeta.
    Every time I see a picture of Edsel next to June, I swear there are Sweet Tart hearts floating upward to the sky.

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  45. Branch Manager, bah! Fleeta in her red dress is beautiful! Thanks for the Edsel pictures; he just adores his mom and always wants to please her. Good luck on the house search.

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  46. Did anyone else notice the heart in the first picture? What is up with the ❤ on your driveway? Inquiring minds want to know.

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  47. Underbitey Eds. Jan, I am loving the DD extra extra. I was reaching for the ff when I had a yolo moment. Glad I did. Yum.

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  48. PJ, the mental picture of you holding the face over your shoulder as you left, made me guffaw out loud!
    Fleeta is definitely rocking that dress!
    Love the ashamed letter C Edz. Love happy Edz even more!

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  49. Edsel is so cute! He is always just trying so hard to please you. I love those pictures. Sorry about your lavender. You managed the shirt out of that tree. Branch managers ALWAYS delegate. Can’t wait to hear about the too expensive house, this makes me so happy to know that you and Ned are solid again.
    I am still traumatized by all of the organization in yesterday’s comments. I can’t even look at my piles without guilt. I am sure it will pass.
    Lovely post, June!

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  50. I love me some Edsel face first thing in the morning. Speaking of Edsel, we haven’t heard Zadge around these parts for a while.June, when you get home, try covering up the lavender roots again, they might take.

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  51. Dear Maryanne without Ginger (if you don’t get that then you are too young),
    We just had that discussion on FB group. Called No One Warned Me which discussed things of which we were not warned and it all of sudden appeared such as Spike the Chin Whisker and Tina the Tit Hair. We did not just stick with women’s issues but moved right on over to the other sex with subjects such as Men Sag Too, Banging Balls and of course Why is My Nose Now Bigger than My Other Brain? It was very entertaining and enlightening. 🙂
    June I didn’t know you lived at the Long Branch Saloon. Love the Ed pics and how contrite she is about being outside without permission but it didn’t stop her.

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  52. OT, but here’s an idea for your Purple Clover column: Since When is There Hair THERE? a meditation on chin whiskers and other indignities of middle age.

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  53. Branch manager! Thanks for the precious Edz fix. I heart him. (Don’t you love that saying?) Too and also, I like Fleeta’s dress.

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  54. The series with Edz is priceless. Fleeta rocks that red dress.
    I still want a picture of BRF Alex to put on a stick as a mask. Then I can carry it in the car or in the grocery store and when some idiot acts idiotic I can hold up the picture. Then push it down and apologize for the rudeness of my friend. You know, bad cop, good cop. Then when I walk or drive away I hold up the FACE again over my shoulder.

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  55. The series with Edz is priceless. Fleeta rocks that red dress.
    I still want a picture of BRF Alex to put on a stick as a mask. Then I can carry it in the car or in the grocery store and when some idiot acts idiotic I can hold up the picture. Then push it down and apologize for the rudeness of my friend. You know, bad cop, good cop. Then when I walk or drive away I hold up the FACE again over my shoulder.

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  56. The series with Edz is priceless. Fleeta rocks that red dress.
    I still want a picture of BRF Alex to put on a stick as a mask. Then I can carry it in the car or in the grocery store and when some idiot acts idiotic I can hold up the picture. Then push it down and apologize for the rudeness of my friend. You know, bad cop, good cop. Then when I walk or drive away I hold up the FACE again over my shoulder.

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  57. I really hope you get that house! Happy to hear you and Ned are moving forward. Edsel just kills me.

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  58. I am never up this early as I work second shift. I have a fix it fella here…painting, mulching, yadda yadda. I am very sleepy, but happy to get some of this work done. Branching out of my sleeping zone.

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