The one where June links to recipies, as she does

Other than the part where I own less of my finger than I might have liked, dinner went fine.

And by the way, it hurts like hell to type, and I don't want you to feel bad for me, or think about what a hero I am, how I'm the wind beneath your wings, typing with this major injury. Don't go on and on about how grateful you are that I blogged anyway. No, sir. I hate that kind of attention. Really, I hate any kind of attention.

I am totally one of those "negative attention is worse than none at all" people, aren't I? Why do you even like me?

The point is, after my brief, not-at-all-ludicrous workout Saturday,

Photo on 7-26-14 at 1.26 PMI got my menu prepared and headed to the store. Remember all the things I SAID I was gonna make last time I wrote? I didn't make any of them. Two of the items called for chicken broth, which has MSG, which gives me the migraines, and basically I'm a barrel of laughs.

So I made honey jalapeno salmon, broccoli tomato salad, new potatoes just made the regular way by boiling them and buttering the shit out of them, and finally? My pieces of resistance? (Am hilarious.)

Avocado pops.

In total, my groceries were $28, and the salmon was about half of that cost. I thought I had honey but it turns out something bad happened with the honey, which I will not tell you about because it's SO SO AWFUL, and I thought I had oregano, and please look at that link. HOW DO I NO LONGER HAVE OREGANO?

So these things had to be borrowed from Ned.

I debated whether I could wear that teal tank in the photo above as my dinner garb, but decided to wear something not absolutely disgusting. The point is, the avocado pops were made first because they had to freeze,

IMG_0986and then the salad was next, because it could sit in the refridge, as Ned would say. One time. And I won't let it drop.

So there I was, cutting the grape tomatoes when MOTHER OF GOD did I cut the crap out my finger. It was like that Julia Child scene from Saturday Night Live. I pressed a cloth to it, praying to all that is heavenly that it would stop before Ned got there, because one thing Ned is good at is the blood, and I was really looking forward to bleeding all over the smelling salts I was wafting under Ned.

It did stop, sort of, thanks to my Dora the Explorer Band-Aids one of you sent me. Since I began this blog I have not had to buy Band-Aids once. I don't know why I seem like the type who likes colorful kid Band-Aids except for the part where I'm TOTALLY that type, and you guys have sent me every kind out there.

So with anemia, I finished everything. I was like a cheffy Evonne Goolagong.

 

I guess I had iron, I just didn't have any blood.

THE POINT IS I GOT IT ALL DONE.

IMG_0988The salad I almost died making. You. I would. Die for. You.

IMG_0987Salmon. Delicious salmon. Made with Ned's not-disgusting honey, as opposed to mine. (YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW.)

IMG_0990New potatoes with ears.

You can see the drop cloth over my corner cabinet, as we are still scraping, sanding, priming and painting my damn ceilings, which I will complain about tomorrow. The point is? Ned gave the meal five goddammits.

"This is the best salmon I've ever eaten," said Ned. "GODAMMIT!" said Ned.

For the rest of the night, Ned kept talking about dinner. He talked about it here, he talked about it at his house where we watched the world's most disturbing movie (I don't know what it's called. But if you run across a movie where Scarlett Johanssen is an alien, DO NOT WATCH IT. DO NOT. Even though she is naked in it throughout, DO NOT), he talked about it today.

I have never known a human to get more enjoyment out of food, except for possibly my Uncle Leo, who feels sick after every meal, so indulgent is he. We all wait for it. "Oh," he'll say, grabbing his stomach. "I'm sick." A meal isn't done till Uncle Leo feels purge-y.

Oh. But one thing.

IMG_0991Ned thought the avocado pops were weird. He doesn't know from good.

From my kitchen to yours,

June

P.S. My new Purple Clover is about how I couldn't stay the hell out of this one bar. A proud moment.

78 thoughts on “The one where June links to recipies, as she does

  1. Dear Joob,
    Because I have jalapenos on the brain, I googled chicken with caramelized onions and jalapenos. Took me to a foodnetwork.com recipe. I made it tonight, exactly as the recipe was was written. Blech. What a waste of two good jalapenos. You made the right decision with the salmon.
    Love,
    AA
    P.S. The crappy beans and rice recipe as the side dish was a big yawnfest as well too.

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  2. I forgot to say that your photo of the tomato salad is 100% better than that crapper photo with the recipe. I wouldn’t even try it looking at that sickly photo.

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  3. Oh, I forgot to tell you! I didn’t click that link to the oregano, because I REMEMBER THAT POST!
    I don’t remember much so I needed points.

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  4. That salmon looks so good! I will try that recipe. Also, it annoys me when people say the L, sal-mon.
    I read your oregano link and can only conclude that Marvin took all of the oregano when he left. What the heck did he do with it all I do not know. But that is the only explanation to the oregano shortage.
    Also, I learned from that post that Jan used to say wah-la!
    Ants in the honey. Much better than Sandra’s guess of pubic hair.

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  5. That is SO my mother and her friends! I clearly recall my mother asking a neighbor about another neighbor, “Have you been inside her house? …Bless her heart.” And, at the pot luck: “Have you had Mrs. Nunn’s potato salad? Bless her heart.”

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  6. I have witnessed Kathi and her grasshopper fear. She is not joking about the ambuli. I’m the same way with grasshoppers and crickets. Why do bugs have to be so jumpy?
    I was thinking cockroach in the honey. THAT would skeeve me out. Ants would make me throw it away but wouldn’t freak me out re: no jumping.

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  7. (said with long drawl-y southern accent):
    “Why yes dear, of course you may call me by my full name. And please be sure to write that out completely on the envelope. I so love getting your letters in the mail. That’d be Miss Honey Jalapeno Carolina. And, thanks for writing, dear.”

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  8. Not the least funny to me. Traumatic is the word I would use and I see you used it, too, but I can only see because I don’t have a grasshopper stuck to my eyelid.
    So.much.worse.than.ants.in.honey.

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  9. Kathi, I was watering one of my potted flowers in front of my house the other day, and a huge grasshopper flew out of the flower and landed on my eyelid! MY EYELID! I’m sure with all the flailing I did, the neighbors thought I was having a seizure. I was traumatized! And sitting on your eye, they seem much bigger.

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  10. OK, my bad. It must be my aging eyes. Or my mouth drooling over the tomatoes. I just so love tomatoes.
    I could go with being called honey. It would remind me of all my southern relatives. Then I’d be Honey Carolina.

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  11. Oh, ants in the honey are nowhere near of the gross stuff I thought off, I thought a pubic hair somehow made it in there…
    I am back from Germany, read every day, not always the comments because I was just too busy.
    June, I am so jealous of your arm and in awe of your strenght to continue blogging even during such distress and pain. You are a trooper.

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  12. My in-laws had a mouse that died after it got stuck in spilled honey in their pantry!! Ants are a little better, I think.

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  13. June, I am so impressed with your dinner! Nice job! Ned sure does know how to give positive reinforcement with his goddammits, doesn’t he?!
    Black food coloring. HA!
    One time I read somewhere that honey was the one food that never goes bad. I’m glad you cleared it up for me (ants) because I was worried it had gone bad and the internet was wrong.

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  14. EarthFare–no corn syrup, no preservatives, no MSG I imagine you know that but some others here might not. So this is in no way to be construed as advice. Which it isn’t. Because liver.

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  15. Ants in your honey does sound like a euphemism!
    I am glad you told us about the ants, because I was thinking of things way (way!) worse than ants. Ants do not really gross me out, though even a small mention of grasshoppers could send me over the edge. Blech.

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  16. Whoa, recipes on BBP? What is next? Thank you many times over June for thinking of us even while maimed in the act of cooking for Ned. We really appreciate all your hard work and high tolerance for pain. I’m going to try those new potatoes with ears myself this week.

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  17. Aren’t Southern women always nice and proper even when gossiping? Can’t you just hear one of them whispering to another that they heard Celia down the street has (whispering even softer) ants in her honey?

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  18. June? You CAN get broth without MSG. Or do you not have a Whole Foods there? Or a Trader Joe’s? I guess you said there’s a TJ’s in some remote city you go to sometimes. Stock up (pardon the pun) when you go to the big city and you’ll have it next time you need it. What would you do without all the unsolicited advice you get here, June? How would you manage your life?
    Goddamnit! That’s a good blog!!!

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  19. Price? Who’s Price? Prince’s accountant twin brother? I really need to review my comments before posting. Sigh.

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  20. Hey, you look very fit in that picture! All them there Alexes better watch out at the next ping-pong competition, you’ll even make Evonne proud!
    The food pictures made me rabid hungry, I mean rabid. But then the ants in the honey kind of curtailed my appetite.
    …and I was really looking forward to bleeding all over the smelling salts I was wafting under Ned. Dying!!
    I could not get jalapenos out of my head since your post on Friday so I had to make up a pasta salad with jalapenos yesterday. I’m thinking I will be looking up a recipe to make tonight with chicken and jalapenos as well. Jalapenos on the brain! But there’s always room on my brain to think about Price playing in that concert this weekend that Mpls Carol talked about. Jalapenos and Prince, both spicy!

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  21. Outstanding post, June, my dear!
    And I stopped to read the Purple Rain in the Crimson Clover article BEFORE I read the comments. That was stellar writing, I am assuming you did it before the horrific injury to your finger?
    And third . . . EDSEL!!!

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  22. Carol in Mpls, who is anticipating the arrival of heirloom tomatoes and sweet corn, her favorite Season of Eating

    The meal sounds fab, and I’m intrigued by the avocado pops. Recipe for them? It seems that new potatoes with ears must be a trending item. After all, they are coated with butter. Which is the best thing.
    Now I’m thinking I might have to try salmon at home, since you seem to make it regularly and with many successful GD’s from Ned. I’m always afraid that I’ll stink up the place and just not cook it right. Not even sure how to do it, stove or oven? Cast iron skillet or grill pan? Please share your Secrets of Salmon!
    P.S. Yesterday was the actual, very official 30th anniversary of the Purple Rain album, so his music was all over the place. He did a show at Paisley Park on Saturday night, that apparently rocked. I guess he’s enjoying our delightful spring-like MN summer as well.

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  23. That avocado pop looks really good to me because avocado and lime! Is he going to eat all that? Because, you know, I’m only an hour and a half away. I’ll just follow the blood red road.

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  24. Are they ice skating in hell? I mean, June posted a recipe!!!
    New potatoes with ears – adorable.
    That whole meal (except the avacado pop) looks tantalizing. Way to go June, and all while under duress of a life-threatening injury.

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  25. Whee, just ants. That’s good. I was thinking something much, much worse. Ants have to eat too.
    You have gone above and beyond the call of duty posting to your blog today. We are all so grateful. Now. I’m doubled over laughing, not at your unfortunate accident, but this post was hilarious. Potatoes with ears just about killed me. I’m not a picky eater, but that frozen green…treat? I’m thinking it might not be so good. How did it taste? Did you eat it? A meal like that out would be $100. You are da bomb, June Gardens!

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  26. Dear June,
    I forgot to ask, given the dessert choice of avocado pops or honeyed ants, what would Ned choose?
    Ants in the honey didn’t freak my out, but I’m curious how they got in there. Did the label mention a surprise inside with every purchase?
    Love,
    Sadie

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  27. How smart is June, who only cuts herself while slicing red tomatoes? No way dinner guests will be able to distinguish blood from tomato juice. Well done!
    Of course, I’m assuming you did not fillet the salmon yourself . . . And it does look mighty tasty.

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  28. Ants! Oh thank God you told us because what I was starting to imagine was way worse!
    Never thought I’d find links to recipes here!
    Looks delicious!
    I hope your finger heals quickly.

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  29. I was apparently the only one who did NOT want to know what happened to the honey. And now I am squicked out. THANKS, Sully.
    New potatoes with ears!

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  30. I’ve had avocado as a side, in a salad, in guacamole, but never in a Popsicle. Who knew there was such a thing? You, obviously.
    Bye Bye, Pie. Our source for recipes.

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  31. What did Edsel doooooo to that honey?!!

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  32. Oh! June! I hope you are okay! I know that there are professional sports peoples who play with pain, but for you to endure typing?! You are a saint is what you are.
    Your dinner looks delicious, five God Damnits?! Wow. That is amazing.
    Here is what killed me: “New potatoes with ears.” I totally looked in the dish to see if some potato looked like an ear. Then I saw the ears.
    I also LOVE avocado. I think those pops look awesome. But I am weird.
    I totally want to know about the honey. (Sorry.)

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  33. OK, 2 things:
    Q – the only thing I keep picturing is you and Ned using the honey while in an amorous mood and then…. not sure but why else won’t you tell this
    17 – hint for cutting grape tomatoes – sandwich them between 2 plastic lids and use a long knife to cut through them all at once. Ta Da

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  34. Your dinner looks delicious! Ima have to try that salmon recipe. Okay, so does what happened with the honey involve bugs? PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE…. I MUST KNOW!! If we guess, will you reveal? Siren would be perfect for this – she would totally get it!!

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  35. You’re right, I DON’T want to know. Kudos on a terrific dinner. Now I’m picturing Dan Aykroyd impersonating you impersonating Julia Child with the kitchen injury. Good thing Ned wasn’t there to witness it or he’d still be in the hospital with the head injury from fainting.
    I’ll leave you with another kitchen hint. If you drop a sharp knife, step back and let it fall. Do NOT try to catch it. Let’s just say I may or may not be speaking from experience.

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  36. Thanks for that good info, honey. And now I’m singing Van Morrison.
    Go June, good and pretty meal! Also, on Saturday evening I was grating some parmesan and I grated my thumb knuckle. OW. Not having your fortitude, the HH had to finish up our meal prep while I hemorrhaged. And I don’t think I know how to spell that bloody word.
    Oh honey, was it ants?

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  37. June, It is truly a testament to your selflessness that you continued to type and such with such a horrific injury. I certainly appreciate your willingness to inform us of your dinner shenanigans. Your honey must not be pure honey. Many grocery store honey products are not pure honey. Did you know that pure honey is the only food that should never spoil ? Yep, you can eat 200 year old honey. Honey will, however, crystallize sometimes. Place container in very warm water until crystals go back into solution. I have heard that Tupelo honey will never crystallize. You’re welcome.

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  38. GODDAMMIT, that dinner looks good. You were so brave to continue making dinner with that potentially life-threatening injury.

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  39. Didn’t have time to read. Just scanned the first few pictures. Does anyone have the link to Bye Bye Pie? It seems to be crossed with that pioneer dame I hear about.

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  40. Of course we want to know about the honey.
    I do suspect, though, that we’ll be over in our respective spaces begging for the story and then once we know, we’ll be all “Yeah, I was mistaken. I didn’t want to know that.”
    But it won’t stop us from wanting to know NOW.

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  41. Dear June, your dinner looks great. But more importantly, thanks for taking one for the team and typing out this post, despite your debilitating injury. You are a trooper and a true inspriation to us all. You have obviously given this 110%. Way to work through the pain and get the job done.

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  42. What weird thing could possibly happen to honey?
    Your food looks delish! You can do a lot with only 9 fingers, June.
    Thanks for taking pictures!

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  43. Avocado sounds like a genius popsicle ingredient! I recently made a chocolate pudding – like substance with avocado, and it was fabulous. It was a good thing I liked it, because no one else in the family would touch it. Big babies. What’s weird about avocado? It’s like butter that grew on a tree. What could be better?

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  44. Wow! That all looks delicious! Five GDs, no less! Good job! But I’m with Ned – frozen avocado? Weird.

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