If you had the world's cutest roommate, you wouldn't blog, either.
Besides, it was an adventure-packed weekend, although not in an Indiana Jones kind of a way.
On Friday, after outrunning a large boulder, I joined about 17 of the Alexes at a happy hour after work. I guess the part where I said it was a "happy hour" sort of already implied that it was after work.
The happy hour, which was after work, started at about 5:00 on Friday. After work. It was downtown, driving all the old men crazy–and I need to get over that line–at a a new brewery.
"It's right across from Mellow Mushroom," everyone kept telling me, and of course I drive to Mellow Mushroom and it was nowhere to be seen. If you're going to give me directions, you need to be literal. Don't say it's across from somewhere unless if I stand at that place I can see the locale you're referring to. I don't need to hear that maybe some of the new brewery's molecules might be intermingling with Mellow Mushroom's because they're relatively close. I need real directions.
Also, Ned lived downtown, driving all the old men crazy, which means I was downtown constantly, and in the three weeks since I haven't been doing that, all sorts of new stuff is being put up and it's looking really cool. "It'll get really great down there now that I'm gone." said Ned, who is headed out of town for work this week so I hope that also applies to my nethers. By the time he returns, there will be a garden and a swing in my girl parts.
Welcome to my parts. It now takes two men to operate it.
Oh my god I haven't even gotten past Friday's happy hour.
Poochie and her husband had cool footwear at the happy hour. If I were Poochie's shoe size, I'd have offed her years ago and stolen all those shoes.
The point is, before I got onto my girl bits and Poochie's feet and so on, is that I could not find the damn new brewery even though it was living downtown. Driving the June crazy. So what's a girl to do? I had to go into the midcentury-modern furniture store and ask the hot owner.
Now, if you've read my blog awhile, you KNOW how I've craved the hot midcentury-modern British furniture store guy, and since DAY ONE he has given me not even the time of day. Countless times I've slapped on pasties and lucite heels and marched in there, and zip.
Friday? Now that I'm living with someone?
"Well, helloooooo!" he said, brightening as I walked in. He stood right up, ended up WALKING ME partway to the new brewery, told me his whole plans for enlarging the store and also for throwing me forcefully against a midcentury couch and having his way with my new swing parts.
Seriously, he could not have been warmer, and life is unfair.
Oh my god I'm STILL not past happy hour. Jesus. So believe me when I say this weekend Ned and I exhausted ourselves moving furniture from room to room and schlepping things to the basement and making Tall Boy help us when I hurt my foot on a CHAIR that landed on my FEET and so on.
We also went with a group of people to dinner and to see Gone Girl on Saturday, which by the way was a pretty good movie. The damn movie was sold out at the first place, so we had to scream to another theater, where we had an hour to kill and I am sorry to tell you we all headed to a bakery where I had a banana pudding cupcake that had literally banana pudding inside of it and why so generous about the hips, June?
Really, I had a whole charming, full-of-details story to tell you about that night but that sums it up and also Gone Girl was good. Which I already said. Am I driving you crazy? Are you living downtown?
On Sunday, Ned and I hung pictures. It sounds low key but Ned decided we needed special hooks, and then there was the part where we had to make…decisions on how everything should go and in case you hadn't gleaned this, Ned may be more deliberate about decisions than I am. Mostly when I move into a place I hang pictures where nails are already in the wall from the last people.
So, magnolia paintings on the stairs. Ned is not as enamoured with my 1950s paint-by-numbers pictures as I am. "Have you ever noticed everything is vintage with you?" he asked, and has he met me?
Decidedly NOT vintage pie painting over the couch. Do you like our coffee table? The Tall Boy said if he comes over and we're still using that bin next time, he's going out and buying us a coffee table himself.
Ned has a friend who made several small, colorful drawings and we put them in the otherwise beige bathroom, which looks yellow here but isn't.
Years ago, Marvin framed vintage (vintage!!) wallpaper, and I hung it in the other bathroom, which might actually be my favorite room. I can't photograph the chandelier in there because it's a, you know, light, and keeps looking like a big bulb in photos. When I turn it off, it's too dark for you to see it.
Photography dilemmas, by June.
Next to this computer, I put a photo of my grandmother, and also a note she left with her important papers, that reads, "For when I die (and it's about time)."
My Saginaw picture is in the kitchen near the back door. I'd show you entire rooms but there is still CRAP everywhere. I mean, it's looking way more moved in, but then there'll be a drill on the kitchen counter.
See? Crap on the kitchen counter. I was coming up from the basement and Lu was extremely concerned. Edsel was being Edsel. oh happeee day! mom come up from dark place! mom! happeeeeee!
get ober you self. youu not that grate.
More pictures from my room, that seem a little…vintage-y.
I got Ned this picture for Christmas one year, and we hung it over our bed and now we worry it'll fall in the night and kill us. Also, I'm looking hot in my robe, eh?
Youuu not that grate.
Cool picture of Ned's grandfather, on the left. Next to my squirrel. Shut up. I love that squirrel. And it's not even vintage!
"Did you read The Right Dog for You?" asked Ned. "Did you put it down and run out and get Edsel?"
Poor maligned Edsel.
Eds confer with his patrun saynt. Oh saynt Francsis, how do Eds be less malined?
Edsel's such a muscle-y dog. It's like he's one of thoe people who spends all day at hot yoga or something.
All right, I have to go. After a whole weekend of working, I have to go to work, which will be relaxing. Maybe we'll have some kind of team-building, move-furniture day today. Oh, and before you go, here's this week's Purple Clover, about the gay bar.
Gloria Gaynorly, June