Every year, the president of my company, not that I own a company, takes everyone out for drinks on his birthday. I think it's a nice tradition, and I always go. This year we went to one of the new breweries, and last night I actually got to talk to him for awhile.

"Is today your real birthday?" I asked him. He said that it was. He's from England, and he invited us all to be there at "5.30." I am so going to dot my times rather than colon them from now on. Looks classier. Why do all British things look classier? You could be barfing Britishly and look classier.

My point is, I asked him if he knew about the song Ode to Billie Jo, which of course mentions the 3rd of June, and which all of us here seem not at all disturbingly obsessed with. He didn't think he had, and I have no idea what they play on the radio in England. Maybe they just have to listen to God Save the Queen all day. That'd be a treat. My point is, when I get in today, he wants me to send him that song, and I feel like I'm all, "This is America. I am sorry" with that ode. To Billie Jo. Pass the biscuits, please.

In other news, I went to my old house the other night.

IMG_4151_2Are you blown away? Are you trippin' out? Is this too much for you to handle?

IMG_4152OooooWEEEEEooooo! It's like my house, but not my house. I'm like one of those awful people who describe their dreams.

I don't know if you remember, or if you've written it down in your Giant Book of June Facts, but my tenant works at the same place I do, which happened after she moved in, and everything is weird. She even works in my dePARTment, a lot of times with Griff, and I feel sorry for her, as well.

IMG_4154_2She and her boyfriend, who also lives there, are going to Europe to listen to God Save the Queen on the radio, and clearly I don't charge enough rent. Also, do you like how somehow I get to my old house and all of a sudden the pictures get blurry again? It's like when you revert to old behavior when you're with your family or something.

IMG_4156_2I went over there because starting Sunday, which you know I will forget, I am going to be catsitting for her two cats whom you will be shocked to hear I love. This one just crossed that back room, The Francis Room, and leaped onto that windowsill like it was nuthin'. "Is that a, you know, young cat?" I asked her, because I couldn't even see Iris doing that move. "Yes, she's two," said My Tenant.

IMG_4161Then she went into my old coat closet (my closet! A coat closet! I don't have that here in this 1926 no-one-wore-clothes house) and got out a toy that made her cat go berserk.

IMG_4164Dying. I took about a hundred of these, and each time, that cat is a blur at the top of every shot.

I just turned around, and Iris is right behind me, starting at me pointedly. As pointedly as someone with no eyeballs can stare at a person. I guess she's mad I said she'd never have jumped onto that windowsill the way My Tenant's cat did, but she lived there almost three years and I never saw her do that once, so.

IMG_4205
eyeriss resent.

IMG_4155Remember how, before I moved, I spent 200 hours sanding and painting and finishing this concrete floor? FLOOR. VEXES.

I'll take more photos when I'm there catsitting, if I remember to go and don't kill My Tenant's cats. I took some lavender from my yard before I left. I love my lavender. I bought one little tiny thing of it at the farmers market no apostrophe and now it's gigantic.

That's what she said.

IMG_4176I guess that's all I have to tell you, except that I got pedicures with my coworker Molly yesterday, and I told her to look happy and she is good at taking direction. I got a turquoise color, and she got a dusty pink.

Because it was the third of June, another sleepy, dusty Delta day.

62 thoughts on “God Save the June

  1. Mel says:

    Anita, you might try washing it with dishwashing liquid.

    Like

  2. Texas Kari - might not have spelled tchotchkes correctly says:

    June, I amazed at how much your house looks like it did when you lived there. Bookshelves arranged with cute tchotchkes, a fun chair in front, dishes that are totally your style, CATS! It’s totally YOU! Check to see if they have as much hair in the A/C filter as you did. heee! I KID!

    Like

  3. Tee, Typepad won't allow me to just be Tee says:

    How did your boss like the music?
    Your renters are taking really good care of your house. That is wonderful and those floors are beautiful. When I saw the bookcase I thought the same thing, they don’t have those books arranged by color, or is it colour today.
    My cat is jumping all over the place because of the crickets my husband just brought in…we are going fishing tomorrow.

    Like

  4. Sadie says:

    Trust me, if I’d have known that second verse, I’d have certainly said it. Kids love things like that.

    Like

  5. Persephone says:

    Sadie,
    Here’s the rest of the rhyme:
    Goosey Goosey Gander, whither shall I wander?
    Upstairs and downstairs and in my Lady’s chamber.
    There I met an old man who wouldn’t say his prayers,
    So I took him by his left leg and threw him down the stairs.
    The last two lines probably did not make sense and so they’re forgotten. The rhyme dates back to the Protestant Reformation when Catholic priests would hide in sympathizers’ houses. Think of old English houses with ‘priest holes’ – or, if you saw Skyfall, a priest tunnel plays a prominent role.
    Lovely post, June!

    Like

  6. I wish my kids would have barfed more Britishly. Maybe that way I wouldn’t have had to clean up puke that was dripping from the ceiling fan and the bunkbeds.
    Parenting tip: don’t let a kid with a tummy ache sleep in the top bunk. You’re welcome.

    Like

  7. June Gardens says:

    I think it was wire with a cork? I didn't even look at it. I was obsessed with that cat. Whose name is Flwerehghewlr. I can't even remember the cat's name. Hey, trust me when you leave the country!

    Like

  8. LaUral says:

    Also, the wood floors in your (former) house look GORGEOUS.

    Like

  9. LaUral says:

    Exactly what cat toy is that? Is it the feathers-on-a-fishing-line thing? Or a laser pointer? Or the tail of Fran’s ghost?

    Like

  10. Linda in CO says:

    Eyriss say “Yeah, but how many baby rabbits she kill?”
    I love how your renters have decorated. Did you tell them their books are in the shelves wrong, that they need to be shelved by color? And look, they still have video cassettes. I finally got rid of the last of ours, when the VCR player bit the dust.
    Lovely post, June.

    Like

  11. Just me, Vee says:

    Do you remember the 21st night of September?

    Like

  12. Sadie says:

    And, June, I don’t think that cat’s crazy behavior has anything to do with a toy. I think it’s reacting to Fran’s ghost. Ooooooweeeeoooooo!

    Like

  13. Amish Annie says:

    I love Amy Schumer! Here’s the speech, saw it this morning.

    Like

  14. Sadie says:

    I was thinking the same thing about June’s tenants and how nice her house looks. What a coincidence that they now work for the same company.

    Like

  15. PSS says:

    It must be comforting to see how well your house is being cared for. I Know you chose your tenants carefully and they sound like lovely people. But still, you never know.
    Read a great Amy Schumer quote from last night. She received a Glamour Magazine award and said, “I’m 160 pounds and I can catch a dick whenever I want.” I thought that was great! She also talked about how she lost her two front teeth late in 5th grade and got her period that same week and was basically a jack-o-lantern with tits.

    Like

  16. June Gardens says:

    That didn't even strike me as funny till you thought it was.

    Like

  17. Fay says:

    Fudge center!

    Like

  18. Anita says:

    What is up with the darker color? That’s so odd. HH doesn’t think it looks that dark but I do!
    I may call them but just thought I would ask as I know someone here is a hairdresser.

    Like

  19. thank you. you're welcome dancer says:

    my kids have nick named me ‘old lady’
    i guess it’s better than what my co-workers call me. ‘crazy lady’.

    Like

  20. June Gardens says:

    It's funny you all say that, because I did my roots the other day and it looks like I have a fudge center.

    Like

  21. thank you. you're welcome dancer says:

    if you used color that comes in the box you can call the number on their product. they are very helpful.

    Like

  22. Just Paula H&B says:

    My hair came out darker this time, too. NO ONE HAS SAID A THING. I think it is VERY obvious. I have a bridal shower to go to this weekend and no time to shop for an attractive hat.

    Like

  23. Just Paula H&B says:

    My hair came out darker this time, too. NO ONE HAS SAID A THING. I think it is VERY obvious. I have a bridal shower to go to this weekend and no time to shop for an attractive hat.

    Like

  24. Just Paula H&B says:

    My hair came out darker this time, too. NO ONE HAS SAID A THING. I think it is VERY obvious. I have a bridal shower to go to this weekend and no time to shop for an attractive hat.

    Like

  25. Anita says:

    51 is young! I’m going to try and convince myself of this.

    Like

  26. Jeanie says:

    My son will be 51 on the 26th!

    Like

  27. Anita says:

    Oh my god, I need some tips. I colored my hair the other day. I went with a medium brown to try and curb some of the red. I was using maple brown. When it was almost time to rinse I um, got a little busy. I got a stomach ache, okay?! Anyway, it got left on too long and I look like Johnny Cash.do you think it will fade by next week? I have a graduation to go to.

    Like

  28. Sadie says:

    Maybe it rhymes in England. Let’s get June to ask her boss.

    Like

  29. Tammi V.V. says:

    All the little goosey poofballs are out here in Oregon this year. My mother lives on an island in the Columbia river. When we take walks on the island, we pass family after family of the adorable little things. Walks take forever, what with all the squealing and kissing and whatnot.

    Like

  30. Just Paula H&B says:

    Ok. You win.

    Like

  31. Just Paula H&B says:

    Ok. You win.

    Like

  32. Just Paula H&B says:

    Ok. You win.

    Like

  33. Anita says:

    Yes ma’am.

    Like

  34. Anita says:

    Yes, but a 30 year old son screams OLD LADY!

    Like

  35. Jeanie says:

    My “baby” will be 47 on Sunday. So you all can stop complaining.

    Like

  36. Just Paula H&B says:

    You’re YOUNGER than I am!!

    Like

  37. Just Paula H&B says:

    You’re YOUNGER than I am!!

    Like

  38. Just Paula H&B says:

    You’re YOUNGER than I am!!

    Like

  39. Anita says:

    Sadie, your little ditty has me in a dither as I can’t get it to rhyme.

    Like

  40. Anita says:

    Oh please, mine just turned 30. I feel ancient.

    Like

  41. June Gardens says:

    I haven't, either, and it pisses me off! Ned said he saw a little family on his bike ride, and of course he shot all the babies immediately. Fois gras at House of June!

    Like

  42. Just Paula H&B says:

    That “kid,” my daughter, is TWENTY FOUR. Oh, I am OLD.

    Like

  43. Just Paula H&B says:

    That “kid,” my daughter, is TWENTY FOUR. Oh, I am OLD.

    Like

  44. Just Paula H&B says:

    That “kid,” my daughter, is TWENTY FOUR. Oh, I am OLD.

    Like

  45. Just Paula H&B says:

    I haven’t seen any goose babies yet this year. No little puffballs. Hmph. I wonder if some activist, non-Catholic group is handing out goose birth control.

    Like

  46. Just Paula H&B says:

    I haven’t seen any goose babies yet this year. No little puffballs. Hmph. I wonder if some activist, non-Catholic group is handing out goose birth control.

    Like

  47. Just Paula H&B says:

    I haven’t seen any goose babies yet this year. No little puffballs. Hmph. I wonder if some activist, non-Catholic group is handing out goose birth control.

    Like

  48. Sadie says:

    Anita and Letha’s comments brought this to mind:
    Goosey goosey gander,
    Whither do you wander?
    Upstairs, downstairs
    In my lady’s chamber.
    Obviously, I have a lot of childhood ditties stored away in this brain of mine. This may not be exactly how it goes, but this is how I always said it as a child.

    Like

  49. thank you. you're welcome dancer says:

    memories light the corners of my mind
    misty water colored memories of the way we were

    Like

  50. Letha says:

    I saw a little goose family on my dogwalk this morning. Mom, Dad, and baby. I think they’re Paula’s.
    Lovely post, June!

    Like

  51. June Gardens says:

    Tell your daughter to get off me. On the other hand, I feel hep, like I picked the color all the kids are wearing.

    Like

  52. June Gardens says:

    I think it was your fault we got started on this song, Karla, because I think you told us that and we got obsessed after.

    Like

  53. Just Paula H&B says:

    *I* got a pedicure after work last night, too, and STOP COPYING ME. I went with my daughter, who got a turquoise color which is gorgeous. I got red. Boring.

    Like

  54. Just Paula H&B says:

    *I* got a pedicure after work last night, too, and STOP COPYING ME. I went with my daughter, who got a turquoise color which is gorgeous. I got red. Boring.

    Like

  55. Just Paula H&B says:

    *I* got a pedicure after work last night, too, and STOP COPYING ME. I went with my daughter, who got a turquoise color which is gorgeous. I got red. Boring.

    Like

  56. Karla says:

    My friend Elizabeth and I always try to be the first one to call the other on the Third of June. This year she called the day before to say Happy Third of June Eve. That is so not fair. I am going to do that to her on the other musical holiday we celebrate, the Third of September. Glad you had a good Third of June, June!

    Like

  57. PJ says:

    Oh Anita, you are just so rude.

    Like

  58. PJ says:

    What fun to see the old homestead. I thought of a gazillion old posts. What color did you finally paint the front door? And there’s the kitchen wall paper and thank you for honoring Francis though I think it should be called the Francis Wing rather than the Francis Room. It was generous of your co-worker to allow the photo sharing. And one last thing, Molly you are adorable and I want your top and I do mean the fabric. Thank you.

    Like

  59. Anita says:

    Molly looks like someone just goosed her under the table. Which could be a good thing depending on the goose.

    Like

  60. Jeanie says:

    Your house looks great. Envy. Love the blurry kitty. That toy must be full of catnip. You really have a co-worker not named Alex?

    Like

  61. Kate says:

    I was first! Muahahaha.

    Like

  62. Kate says:

    How fun to see your old house! Your shelves have never looked better. Did you have those little hang-cups-on hooks before? Also, the cat pictures cracked me up.

    Like

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