The one where June keeps saying she has to go

I overslept. In elementary school, there was this poor girl who'd come to school late all the time. Our teacher was a terrible person, and in front of the whole room she'd make the girl say why she was late. I mean, we were in first grade or something–you know it had to be some negligent parent out there and not her six-year-old self.

"I got up too early," she'd always say, staring at the ground. I have little hope for that child. When you're already rolling your eyes at someone in their sixth year, it can't bode well for his or her future.

When I wasn't working, I spent yesterday enjoying the shit that Google Photos has done to my, you know, photos. They made collages, and little animations, and put cute frames around my photos. Lemme see if I can put one of the animated pictures up here. You know what I like about myself is my time management skills. I came on here to say I can't talk because late.

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Did it work? You have to click on the image to make it work. Then click your back arrow to get back to this riveting blog.

Iris was just a bitty kitten, with medicine crap in her ear. Poor Mrs. Iris. She certainly grew up to be the swan.

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it truu. eyeriss do be swan.
(This one is just a regular picture. I know. Don't get confused.)

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Oh, I really hope you can see the animation of these! This one features a cameo by Roger! If you're only getting a still, at least you get a deep dive into the cornhole that is Talu's.

Anyway. Google Photos. Making me late for everything since 2015. They keep telling me to save to Library, though, and I can never find the damn library. Thanks, Google. Efficient.

Oh, look! They also divide your photos by location!

Screen Shot 2015-08-04 at 8.33.14 AM

Also? Not always accurate.

Tonight we have the movie Spinal Tap, then tomorrow Ned has a work thing so I am SINGLE SINGLE SINGLE, which means I'll eat Parmesan cheese out the can and read a book. Yesterday Ned and I were debating where to go eat, and he suggested not one but TWO Italian places.

"I already had Spaghetti-Os for lunch," I reminded him. "Oh, so you've already HAD Italian, is that what you're saying?"

Ned is so unsupportive.

And lemme tell ya who's good at not getting his way. I eschewed one place because it's always freezing in there, and then when we got to the place I suggested, of course it had to be -942 in there. It was like we dined on Pluto or something. "Oh, I'm glad we picked a place that wasn't FREEZING," groused Ned. Then all night he complained about how full he was, and how bloated he felt, like I'd force-fed him the barbecue plate with hush puppies AND a side of fries.

Oh my god, remember three hours ago when I said I was running late? Now I have seven minutes to get to work and I'm in my robe. Good gravy.

Yours in organizational skills,

Jooooooooooob

P.S. LOOK! Ned's Uncle June niece, animated!

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33 thoughts on “The one where June keeps saying she has to go

  1. Thanks for those stories PJ – I had some wonderful teachers, too, who made school a lovely place for me as a child. I’m always sad to hear the mean teacher stories – they do linger.
    Thinking of you and your husband.

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  2. Oh, PJ, I need a Like button for your post. What great teachers. I hope things are going well for your husband.
    And June, I love your animated gifs. Did you really take that many pictures of the flower girl that Google could parse them all together? Love that one particularly.

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  3. To counter the mean teacher stories I will tell you about two wonderful teachers I had that made me feel treasured. One was fourth grade and one fifth grade. I was a little bit neglected in that my parents didn’t cotton to the finer things in life. My fourth grade teacher would rub hand lotion into my poor little red chapped dry hands. My fifth grade teacher knew I needed an appreciation boost and chose me to be her special helper in the organizing the library and then told me that she thought I should be paid for doing such a professional job, but that it was against the rules to pay me but she wanted me to have a broach that she had. It was a clunky old lady broach but I treasured it like a secret treasure because Miss Shaw thought I was good and smart. Bless both those dear women.

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  4. Finally getting to bed and came here for my bedtime story. That animated picture thing of the cats made me laugh like a kid. Iris’ expression in the last frame is terrific.

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  5. Poet, I watched an Ingmar Bergman movie (with subtitles) maybe 20+ years ago at home. We had the tv volume down and just happened to be playing a cassette (yes I said cassette) of Gorecki’s Third Symphony. I swear the music completely followed the story line. It did seem like a magical evening with a Swedish movie narrated by English subtitles and music by a Polish composer.

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  6. Oh, I hate reading about mean teachers. Ick.
    Cute moving pictures, June! I am too busy to figure that out right now…maybe next summer.
    I love the one where Iris is on Ned’s lap. So cute.
    Lovely post, June!

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  7. Oh poor Deb! But you fixed her wagon. Actually, when I read the title of today’s post, I thought June would be blogging about something like that. Having to go.

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  8. I remember when I was in 1st Grade and my wicked old teacher wouldn’t let me go to the bathroom. So I peed in the corner and said one of the pipes leaked. That nasty lady had to clean it up all that nasty pee. JUSTICE FOR THE CHILDREN.

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  9. a dear friend came to visit me. i have 4 entries to catch up on.
    writing your own blog with sensorship…seriously, whiskey tango foxtrot people.
    my mother, of all my peoples, the most technology impaired, told me about google photo. i will be getting to that soon.
    my daughter is always loosing items or having them stolen due to lack of attentiveness. she posted a cartoon on fb on this subject and the joke ended with the character realizing they were a magician…making things disappear. i responded ‘oh, a hidden talent’…nothing.
    and LisaPie you will need to get in line because i laid claims to that chair years ago.
    have a great day everyone.

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  10. My first grade teacher was so mean, she broke yard sticks over children’s heads. The most frightening 4′ 2″ person I ever met.
    Love that chair the dogs are trying to get under there. Where ever did you get that?

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  11. If you have an iPhone you can exit the group text. Everyone gets a notification that you left, but whatever. My kids do it to me constantly. Then I add them back. Ha!

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  12. I wish Roger had lived. The vet always went on about what a big cat he was becoming. And he'd run with the dogs and me from yard to yard when we went on walks! I will always be sad about Roger.

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  13. I had a mean teacher. Several actually. But the one that I just remembered a couple years ago and felt terrible about was the witch who taught third grade. There was this real tall kid in class who’s pants were always too short. He was tall because he was like two years older than the rest of us as he had flunked grades several times. He wasn’t paying attention one day (nobody was noticing by the way) and that witch called that nice boy up in front of the class and asked him why he wasn’t paying attention and had him bend over and spanked him. So humiliating. Brings tears to my eyes even thinking about that now. I have no idea why I never remembered that before. Forty-some years later and I can still remember his name. What kind of crazy does one have to be who humiliated kids like the girl in your story and the boy in mine? I don’t know but I imagine many people our age have similar stories unfortunately.

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  14. I don’t remember Roger being so huuuuge! I thought it was another dog.
    I can’t stand being stuck in a group text! Someone tell be how to escape these things. HH say to just mute my phone. But then I don’t know when I’m getting a call or a text from someone who doesn’t throw me into the dumb group thing.

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  15. “It goes to eleven!”
    “How much more black can it be? And the answer is NONE. None more black.”
    Oh gawd I love that movie and I quote it all the time and nobody around here freaking knows what I’m talking about!!! It’s hard being the only cool person in my area.

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  16. Next, Goggle needs to fix it so you can add a soundtrack to your animation. I was listening to a Benny Goodman song from my brother when I watched Edsel/Talu/Roger, and the rhythm was just right. Enhanced the experience, as they say.

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  17. Those Google pictures are cool, but they have the same effect on me as do group texts.
    I still miss Roger’s big head.

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  18. I’m trying to figure out why Gooooogle thinks we would want to animate a still photo. But since it’s Google and Google knows everything I guess it’s a thing.
    I should tell you about the bus ride where I heard two 20 something girls discussing a question and one said to the other “you should just goggle that shit”. And I was like “did she just say ‘goggle’?” And then the other one said “I will. I’m gonna goggle the fuck out of it”. And right then I knew. It’s not just us oldies who sometimes miss the point.
    Well I guess I just told you my bus story! Get to work June!

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  19. Spinal Tap? That sounds painful.
    Loved the photos. I have all my photos from my phone saved on Google, but for the life of me I can’t figure out how to get them saved to my computer.

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