In which June does not forget to add a senior picture

I bought a new yogurt this weekend; it has flax and pumpkin seeds and Lionel Ritchie and I don't know what all in it.It's a very busy yogurt. This yogurt also informs me that it's gluten-free, and guess what I am sick of. Gluten-free is the fat-free of the '10s. Remember when we were all … Continue reading In which June does not forget to add a senior picture

Now I know how Joan of Arc felt. Plus, hot soap.

One of my coworkers has a football at his desk, as though he were OJ Simpson or...some other football player such as Jim Namath. Because they were famous for having footballs on their desks. It's on a little stand--not my coworker, his football--like it has its own three-pronged house or whatever. "Hey, I'll hold the … Continue reading Now I know how Joan of Arc felt. Plus, hot soap.

Or by a comma when the feeling’s not as strong

Today I have my phone, my computer is charged, and? No photos to show you. I took zero photos yesterday. So I'll show you a picture of Tallulah dead in the bushes from when I dog-sat last week. Poor dead Lu. She is literally resting in peace. I wonder what'd make you say, hey, bricks … Continue reading Or by a comma when the feeling’s not as strong

She wants to TALK, June said, like that was the worst thing on earth.

The controversial paper towels. I cannot believe how long you people can discuss a thing, in the comments. Anyway, here are the pretty paper towels Ned bought to seduce the ladies, and it's workin' on ME anyway, because every spill I'm all, DANG! Looky here at these paper towels-es. How many paper towels can you … Continue reading She wants to TALK, June said, like that was the worst thing on earth.

June writes you from her old house

Well, THIS was a mistake. Say, June, why don't you come back to the house you shared with Ned? That won't make you despondent or anything. Good gravy. "I'm here, the animals are fine, I wish to jump to my death," I texted Ned. After his fancy business dealings or whatever the hell he's doing, … Continue reading June writes you from her old house

Surry with the Fringe on Top IN FRONT OF IRA

I'm not pressuring myself during the workweek, but I do have a rule during the weekend that each day I have to go out and do something sort of fun. So yesterday, I went to the farmers market. Perhaps that sounds like a giant snoozefest to you, but I just loves it. My plan was … Continue reading Surry with the Fringe on Top IN FRONT OF IRA

June has dinner with her ex-husband, who had a raging temper and was a philanderer. Alternatively, it just didn’t work out.

You'll be sad to hear Marvin didn't wear plaid. I hauled my arse all the way to Chapel Hill, and who knew Chapel Hill was so cute? Turns out it's where University of North Carolina is, so it's full of the quaint shops and hot college girls. I kept trying to point them out to … Continue reading June has dinner with her ex-husband, who had a raging temper and was a philanderer. Alternatively, it just didn’t work out.