Here we are, at the end of this damn year. On New Year's Eve of last year, Ned and I got into a fight, and I spent the entire night in my room, crying, with a bottle of wine. I watched the year tick down by Googling it. Here's me, last year, 8 o'clock at… Continue reading The one where June convinces self that 2016 will be HER YEAR! The one where June does that every year, and look how 2015 turned out.
I just used the new shampoo and conditioner that my aunt sent me--it's fancy stuff--and then when I emerged from the shower, I said. "What's that red dot on my arm? ...Hey, what's that other red dot on my arm?" Then I looked in the medicine cabinet mirror, and fortunately Glen Close wasn't behind me… Continue reading Don’t be rash
This morning, I was making the coffee and the cats were in their little window, meowing for food, while the dogs moaned at their dishes like I never feed them. "You know," I said, and whenever I try to reason with the pets--yes, I do--I always start with "you know." "You know, you guys have… Continue reading When Captain Howdy doesn’t think you’re pretty
Good hair day yesterday. ...Oh, look. A pet in the background. I've been blogging now for nigh on nine years. I have no idea what "nigh on" means. Does it mean "almost"? Because that would be inaccurate; it's now more than nine years. Nigh on nine years. I'm just gonna go ahead and make "nigh… Continue reading June will not say something tired like haters gonna hate.
When we last spoke, it was Christmas--and you know how I love it, give me Christmas 40 times a year. At any rate, I was blogging at you and everything was copacetic till the phone rang. It was Ned. Dun dun DUNNNNN. I'd taken Ned off my contacts list on my iPhone, so when he… Continue reading The pot returns
I wasn't gonna blog today, but then I figured someone out there desperately wants distraction from his or her family, so here is my gift to you. I spent Christmas alone today, but don't feel sorry for me. It was fabulous. Plus also, am I ever really alone here? I am not. eff yuu, mom.… Continue reading Joueux Noel. Or, June gets pretentious with her holiday greetings.
It's been cloudy and rainy and ridiculous for days, and my floor back here is all muddy despite wiping these damn eight dog feets every time they come in. Note: Get mud entrance rug, for god's sake. The point is, after breakfast, those three seconds where the dogs have breakfast, they like to go back… Continue reading Old crow
It was busy as all get-out yesterday at work, which annoys. Isn't it supposed to be a good cheer, smoke myrrh, get gift baskets and enjoy the holiday week kind of a week? Dang. When I wasn't slaving at work, I was slaving over a hot statistics textbook. Yesterday I got so sick of that… Continue reading And the winner is, MISS GARDENS! …Wait.
I woke up at 4:30 with a migraine, which was super relaxing. Dragged self out of bed, which I just wrote as "Dragged self out of Ned" FOUR TIMES, hello Freud, and took my meds. So now I'm groggily up, and headed to work because hero, but I have all the funny of a Bazooka… Continue reading Patience is a virtue. Seersucker is a fabric.
I haven't blogged at you because my weekend has been pretty much all statistics, all the time. In case anyone's worried sick, I'm on page 285 now. Only 215 pages to go! Kill me now. No, kill me after I've spent the money I'm earning. I'm having my house power washed with the money, did… Continue reading June takes herself out. Nothing happens.
I got this envelope in the mail yesterday: "Death benefit AND Walmart gift certificate enclosed!" it read on the outside. Well! Thanks! I abhor the march of time. And the March of Dimes. Dimes don't even have legs. Also, I saw this last night... Edsel is such a homo. I know Tallulah's a girl, but… Continue reading Death and sex and Walmart
Today is my department's annual ugly sweater and breakfast, and I am cooking sausage biscuits. And by "cooking sausage biscuits," I mean I'm throwing some frozen sausage biscuits in the oven in 10 minutes. I had originally signed up to bring "attitude and fruit," but once I got to the store last night, the fruit… Continue reading If you liked it than you shoulda put a…oh, put this.
I was at work, minding my own business, which you know is never really true, but I was at least mostly minding my own business when I heard a shriek in the other room. In our office's open floor plan, there is a wall of sorts separating some of us, but it has three doorways… Continue reading Cordless mouse
In order to avoid proofreading my statistics textbook, I made this end-of-year video this weekend, as I am wont to do at the end of every year. But I just noticed 24 people have already looked at it on YouTube, so since the secret's out, here it is. I'll show this again on the 31st.… Continue reading June’s end-of-the-year video
I may or may not have given Lu a Tostito the other day. Behold her crunchy face. She wants you all to know she is delighted that such a flattering photo is going on the Internet. Lu is not allowed to say "Interwebs." Nor are any of you. Yesterday I had my regularly scheduled workday,… Continue reading The one where we’re all sorry we had freaking question day 264 days ago.
On Saturday, I had Ask June Anything Day, and yesterday I started answering the many pressing questions of your time. On today, I will answer more. Yes, I just said "on today." Mary Ellen from Napa asked, Do you think you will stay in North Carolina? Is there anywhere else you are longing to move… Continue reading More of your questions answered. Good gravy.
A real grownup, such as, say, my stepfather, would have gotten up early and done today's statistics textbook proofreading already. However, hello. Have we met? I stayed up till 1:30 and just crawled out of bed. Now I'm blogging at you, and stay tuned for June's-panic-about-her-textbook posts in about a week. I know I said… Continue reading Your questions answered. My textbook procrastinated.
I spent much of last night working on my statistics textbook, and I am doing so again today. I can't even remember what I charge these people, but I keep adding up what I at least must be making so far, as I used to when I was babysitting. Fortunately, it's more than a dollar… Continue reading Ask June Anything Day
Every morning, I get up, let the dogs out (who, who, who?), make coffee and feed the pets. No matter how far back in the yard they are, the dogs hear their food hit the bowl. Dogs have good hearing, did you know that? By the time I get to the back door, they're in… Continue reading Edsel gets daring
Here, she says, using words. Here's what I took photos of yesterday. Go ahead and guess what I did all day.