Where June somehow mentions Princess Di, human trafficking and QVC in one post.

At work, a bunch of us are doing Dresscember, which is this challenge where you wear a dress every day in December, even on your ding-dang days off, as kind of a fundraiser to say, hey, I hate human trafficking.

I HATE Uncle Jamie.

Do you want to know what annoys me? Is just try to get one simple sentence that is SPECIFIC about this event. Here is the website for Dresscember. I linked you above to where you can donate to my specific fundraiser, because I know you're saying, "It's December! I'm not spending my money on anything else. Why not June's cause?"

Oh, and here. This was the best (edited by me) paragraph I could find on what we're doing…

Dressember opposes the worldwide trafficking and exploitation of women. Dressember works to rescue victims of slavery, sexual exploitation, and other forms of violent oppression. Those who participate in Dressember are supporting the abolition of modern-day slavery. 

What I have learned, as someone who writes and edits stuff you're supposed to want to buy for a living? Is once you've gotten really familiar with whatever it is you're selling or advocating or whatever? You get what's called the Curse of Knowledge. As in, you're too close to it and you can't explain it simply and clearly anymore. Like, did you ever have a doctor tell you what's wrong, but all his terms are so medical that you're all, what the…? Am I dying or do I have a cold? Of course, in my case, when you have a cold, you're basically dying.

Anyway, that's what I found with this organization, the Curse of Knowledge. They kept giving me vague, flowery descriptions of why I'm wearing a DING-DANG DRESS ALL DECEMBER–did I mention that?–and I just wanted a simple, declarative sentence that was, oh, precise.

The point is, I went stampeding into work yesterday in a dress. I own two dresses, one of them my wedding dress and the other my 1983 prom dress, and I walked in yesterday and there're all my coworkers, sportin' the pants. I put my hands on my be-dressed hips.

"I thought we were doing Dresscember!"

No one looked up. "We are. Today's November 30," said Fleeta.

Son of a…

Dress
So I'm wearing a dress again TODAY, which is enclosed for your viewing pleasure. Yes, that IS my Princess Diana ring from QVC. Shut up, dick. That was kind of Diana's signature line: "Shut up, dick."

I meant to take a picture of yesterday's dress I wore by accident, but you know Mondays are busy for me, as I have a Purple Clover deadline. Here, by the way, is last week's Purple Clover.

And here, once again, is the link if you wish to donate to the Dresscember cause. If you don't, you're saying you LOVE enslaved women. That's all. Don't feel bad about that. By the way, I'm the one who thought of our team name: Addressing the Issue. Love for self will never die. Love for self is here to stay.

In the meantime, tonight's my work Christmas party, and yes, we call it a Christmas party, none of this pussyfooting around. Everything's an argument anymore, you ever notice that? We got nervous people flapping their hands on one side saying we gotta include everyone, then we got the (let's face it) fairly bigoted folk on the other saying, Fuck that. Really, you're all being repugnant. Can't we just live and let live? Don't get your hemp blouse in a twist over a word, and don't get your Confederate flag all mussed over someone else's wants. Geez.

June for President.

Anyway, that's exciting, my work CHRISTMAS party and all. I'm going with my friend The Naughty Professor, who in fact used to work where I work, and he just left this year after about 109 years there.

Four years ago, I took Dick Whitman to my work Christmas party, and afterward we came back here for awhile, and as we were kibbitzing, my cat Roger opened the back door and ran out. He could open the doors. "Roger, don't go out," I yelled after him. That was the last I ever saw of him. He got out of my fenced yard, who knows how, into Peg's yard which is ALSO fenced, escaped THAT and got run over.

That was a terrible time. Roger was so effing cool. Anyway, I think of that every work Christmas party, so thanks, memories.

Shut up, dicks.

June

73 thoughts on “Where June somehow mentions Princess Di, human trafficking and QVC in one post.

  1. Roger is like my Oscar Snuggles, there will never another kitty quite like him.
    I’m in the don’t like Christmas camp.

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  2. I love how we are all “I wanna do nice shit, but imma wait til June sets me up with a partner first!” Tis the season!

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  3. Oh hell. So late to the party. Again.
    So late that I already donated to my other friend who is wearing a dress every day, as well. She also runs for that cause. Also? She lives near Newport News, VA, where there was a huge bust in a ring.
    So. And, actually? Your work friend is Alex!? Dude. I giggled a little at that one.
    I hope you had a very merry Christmas party. Dammit, Roger.

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  4. Oh my god, you read my mind. I thought about it for a split second while in line at Chik-fil-a. Then I felt bad. I thought, what would Lethat do?

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  5. I was out of my house since 8 a.m. due to the ductwork being fogged, cleaned, scraped and roto-rootered. So this is my first chance to comment. I, too, have been looking forward to being Randomly Kind but like Linda in CO have been waiting so that I could report in about how Randomly Kind I am.
    Lehat about killed me what with dying of the giggles over that one!
    And I can’t believe DW is so twitterpated with the GF that he has become an inconsiderate dick. Shame on him. We all know he was raised better than that.

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  6. Re the RAoKs, the other day I considered paying for someone’s something, and decided against it because I couldn’t report it on June’s blog. So I guess that means I will only be randomly kind if I get to brag about it. I will attempt to change my ways and start doing nice things just for the hell of it. Ho ho ho.
    Lovely post, June. Your geometric dress is da bomb.

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  7. He doesn't. He also never once called me re my breakup. His mom told him about it, he sent me an email, told me to call him. I did, and he never called back. So. IT'S BEEN 12 WEEKS and he's never contacted me about it. Also, I invited him to my Ima Die Alone party SIX WEEKS AGO and he had his girlfriend email me to say, "Oh, we double booked. Sorry."
    You know my invite came first. So they're choosing to not even show up for me for this, even. Aren't you glad you opened up this topic?

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  8. This pretty much sums up how I feel about people lately: “Don’t get your hemp blouse in a twist over a word, and don’t get your Confederate flag all mussed over someone else’s wants. Geez.” I would totally vote for you President June.
    I am also not a fan of Christmas, but if you want to wish me a Merry Christmas, you go right ahead. I’ll eat my Reeses Trees that don’t look like Christmas trees, and drink my latte from my Starbucks cup that doesn’t say Merry Christmas, and not give a fuck who I offend.
    Apparently I’m a little grinchy today. Get off my lawn.

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  9. Everyone is all LEHAT today. I blame June. Not to be picky, but the correct typo (ha) is LethaT.
    Also, I’m in on the doing it alone. The RAOK, I mean.

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  10. Can you repost last years RAOK without the comments? Then we can just attach ourselves to whomever is under us (hope I get Hulk! Or Lehat) in the new comments. That way you won’t have to kill yourself.

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  11. June you look so pretty in your dress with your Diana ring. It’s hard to believe that it’s been four years since Roger died. He was such a magnificent kitty boy!

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  12. Happy December 1! I like your dress mission. Good cause, cute dress!
    Hey, are doing random acts of kindness with partners here on the blog or are we just reporting them to the group at large? Or maybe we’re not doing them at all and we’re just being jerks this year. You know. Either way.

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  13. I know. I made those original comments? More than two hours ago. I cut and pasted them from my "sent" mail, and posted them directly into comments and I KNEW the original MFs would show up eventually. I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY ALL TO HELL, LEHAT.

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  14. Shakes head in agreement. Hears dreadful song by Gilbert O’Sullivan, ‘Alone Again, Naturally’ and sighs. No menses to help shovel.
    My (female) condo/parking neighbor is also without menses, so we help each other. We have a man-neighbor who is a good sport, and pitches in when we get the giant snowfalls.
    My new car has butt warming seats. I believe God intervened and invented them, to my delight.

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  15. Carol, you must live alone. I have also shoveled in a dress, and in heels. Since there are no menses in my house to shame into doing it.

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  16. I don’t usually fall all over myself telling you how fabulous you are or look, June, because….well….I think that’s implied.
    But in this case, that dress is lovely on you and you DO look fabulous! Especially with the QVC Princess Diana ring.
    Shut up, Dick Whitman!!

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  17. For Amish, and all the Tiny Purple Man fan-girls:
    Attention! Now playing, 24 hours of TPM music on our local alt-rock-whatever public radio station. http://www.thecurrent.org.
    Yesterday, we had 1″ of snow out at Chanhassen, MN, the home of Paisley Park, so each time that happens over the winter, they’ll play 24 hours of TPM music.

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  18. Love you in that dress! You are the penultimate girly-girl, along with your Princess Di ring. I prefer dresses, except when shoveling snow, though I have.

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  19. Lovely post, June — hope you have a blast at your party.
    Re: Princess Di ring — I **love** it. I remember drooling over that gorgeous ring all those years ago; so nice to see Princess Kate wearing it now.
    Re: pantyhose — I lament that when I was teenager pantyhose were the style (when theoretically my legs were as good as they were ever going to be) and now that I’m most emphatically *not* a teenager, we’re all supposed to go bare-legged. Thanks, fashion world. P.S. I’m still going to wear hose.

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  20. I know, June, why don’t we attend tonight’s Christmas party in holiday costumes!? Bring a baby doll so you can be Mary and I’ll be Joseph. And right after Santa passes out the children’s gifts, we’ll share a little parable with everyone on the REAL meaning of Christmas.

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  21. I keep making pithy and delightful comments that AREN’T SHOWING UP THANKS TYPEPAD, THANKS OBAMA, but I want to say, squeeee! Thanks, you guys, for donating to Dresscember! Who’s a good reader? Who’s a good reader!?! Is you a good reader? Is you?
    At this point, Edsel would have had 12 orgasms if I addressed him this enthusiastically.

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  22. First you make me smile with my Happy Hanukkah and then you made me get a little teary-eyed with your PC article. What a day and it’s not even lunch time!

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  23. He doesn’t. He also never once called me re my breakup. His mom told him about it, he sent me an email, told me to call him. I did, and he never called back. So. IT’S BEEN 12 WEEKS and he’s never contacted me about it. Also, I invited him to my Ima Die Alone party SIX WEEKS AGO and he had his girlfriend email me to say, “Oh, we double booked. Sorry.”
    You know my invite came first. So they’re choosing to not even show up for me for this, even. Aren’t you glad you opened up this topic?

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  24. Do you need some nude panty hose to wear with those dresses? I have a pile from my dead mother-in-law that are about to go in the Goodwill box.
    Great post, June, and your Roll Me Over in the Clover column was a delight.
    Also, contributions are slow to register on the site so don’t think we’re all ignoring you.

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  25. I’d be SOL if I had to wear a dress every day. I’d have to alternate my two wedding dresses.
    Loved your Purple Violet story. Like Mother, I’m known as The Sensible One in my family, but since I never watch scary movies, I wouldn’t have even thought of the sheet and glasses trick. Go Mother!
    Have fun with Naughty Professor tonight at your Christmas party. I’m sorry it has sad memories of Roger, we all still miss him, too.

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  26. Way to end on a high note there June. Leave your readers with the upbeat image of poor old Roger.
    Nice dress by the way! I started wearing dresses again about 3 years ago and never looked back. So much easier to get pulled together in the morning. As if.

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  27. I believe Princess Diana’s signature was, “Shut up, You Royal Dick,” because I’m sure it was usually aimed at the Queen and/or Charles. What I’d really like to know is what she said about Camilla. Because you know all that gossip about Diana calling her a Rottweiler was very sanitized.

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  28. I believe Princess Diana’s signature was, “Shut up, You Royal Dick,” because I’m sure it was usually aimed at the Queen and/or Charles. What I’d really like to know is what she said about Camilla. Because you know all that gossip about Diana calling her a Rottweiler was very sanitized.

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  29. I believe Princess Diana’s signature was, “Shut up, You Royal Dick,” because I’m sure it was usually aimed at the Queen and/or Charles. What I’d really like to know is what she said about Camilla. Because you know all that gossip about Diana calling her a Rottweiler was very sanitized.

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  30. I totally forgot I made that joke, but I see my true colors shining though. I see my true colors, and that's why I love me. And see. This is why I don't tell stuff. Because yes, a local boutique. Whatta ya want from me? I can't help that's where I got it.

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  31. I also asked about that dress and if memory serves, the answer was “a local boutique.” DAMMIT.
    Or maybe she got it at “White House, Black President,” a joke I’m sure June is still in love with herself over. As am I. And not that I’ve stolen that joke, no sir. Nope.

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  32. I also asked about that dress and if memory serves, the answer was “a local boutique.” DAMMIT.
    Or maybe she got it at “White House, Black President,” a joke I’m sure June is still in love with herself over. As am I. And not that I’ve stolen that joke, no sir. Nope.

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  33. I also asked about that dress and if memory serves, the answer was “a local boutique.” DAMMIT.
    Or maybe she got it at “White House, Black President,” a joke I’m sure June is still in love with herself over. As am I. And not that I’ve stolen that joke, no sir. Nope.

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  34. It is annoying that everything is an argument. For instance, why do people get do upset over the word Christmas? I don’t get mad when other people mention their holidays. For example, it would be very nice if someone wished me Happy Hanukkah.

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  35. I want to know where you got that dress. You mentioned the ring, but not the dress, which I’m assuming is NOT your prom dress?

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