More of your questions answered. Good gravy.

On Saturday, I had Ask June Anything Day, and yesterday I started answering the many pressing questions of your time. On today, I will answer more. Yes, I just said "on today."

Mary Ellen from Napa asked, Do you think you will stay in North Carolina? Is there anywhere else you are longing to move to and try out? Or did you burn through that in Seattle?

Jan asked this, too. I think I'll stay here, at least for the time being, because it's affordable, I own a cute house, and I love my job. If I didn't have all these kids, I might pack my bags and head to the West Coast again. I don't think I could afford Seattle anymore; it got fancy since the early '90s. But I might try anyway. I'd have never left Seattle had it not been for Marvin. I would never want to be 50 and single in LA. Good lord.

Kim in Texas asked, What is the last book you read that was not for work?

The Jane Austin Book Club. It was at my mother's. Eh. Girl book. One thing I have to say about Ned is he upped my reading repertoire. He read pretentious books and I began liking them more than I thought I would. He'd be furious if he heard me say his books were pretentious. But they were. He was such a slow reader, because most nights he worked, so I'd burn through them while he was still on chapter one.

Hulk asked, Why? Why didn't we give Zeke the ball more?

I ask myself that all the time, Hulk.

Caroline B asked, How many times a day do you have to sweep cat litter?

Once a day. I should probably do it more, but have you met me?

Greensboro Laurie asked, Did you get rid of your white Christmas tree before you left to spend your year abroad? When did you realize you had a disdain for the Christmas season? Any particular incident leave you with this feeling or just bah humbug in general to the holiday festivities?

Yes, I threw away that damn tree two years ago. It wasn't that old, but it was getting very droopy and you could see the pole, which I usually enjoy, but not in a tree. And it was shedding. Annoying. So the last two Xmases I slapped up a 15 dollar silver tree from Target.

This year I'm not doing a damn thing, for decorating. I put Xmas pictures up as my Facebook profile and banner. Done. And my Christmas hatred has grown over time. Not sure why. It's just so much pressure to do things I don't like doing: cooking, decorating, shopping. Bluch.

Jan had a million questions. Have you seen Ned? she wondered. Also, How's Marvin? Finally, marry, f*uck, kill… Ryan, Tall Boy, Dick Whitman.

Yes. I've seen Ned. Marvin is good; he's dating someone and she seems nice. I've not actually talked to her, but she also has not insisted I never mention Marvin on my blog, so lookin' sane! Plus she just looks likable when Marvin has photos of her on Facebook. As for fuck/marry/kill: Ryan, Tall Boy, Dick Whitman, in that order.

Outkast Lee asks, If I send you $19.95, will you tell me how to break into the lucrative, exciting and fulfilling field of proof-reading?

No. But feel free to send me $19.95 anyway.

Melvin wondered, As a proofreader, do you have to know all the documentation rules for APA, MLA , Chicago etc.? You must really like English!

Yes. And I do. I don't know why I picked this job, because as we all know, details are not my forte in any other walk of life. But there it is.

Oh, and the next comment was Melvin saying she's MELVIE, not Melvin. Melvin. heeeeee…

Barbfrommilwaukee asked, Will you take your trip to Hawaii in 2016??

I will if the person who offered it in the first place says, June, why don't you go to Hawaii this year? I should have gone in 2012, even though I literally had 150 bucks for the whole trip. God, I was destitute. How the hell did I do it?

Tricia wondered, Why did you decide to play Siri this Saturday?

I thought it would save me time. Look how THAT turned out.

Lee Una asked, What happened to The Fireman whom you dated a few times? Are the two of you still in touch?

Yes, we are still FB friends, if I'm not mistaken. He met someone about a year ago and seems fantastically happy. He was a good guy.

Anita asked, What are you plans for Christmas?

Precisely nothing. I plan to stay home and make lasagna and watch movies all day. Tell me you aren't just a little envious of me.

bettydh asked, Why do you get people to ask you questions? You know how they get!

I do. I do know how people get. But it's fine.

Jane said, I'm done with Sergio. He treats me like a ragdoll. She also asked, Does anybody really know what time it is? Does anybody really care?

Right now, it's 8:06 a.m., my time.

Missus B asked, What sound or noise do you love? What sound or noise do you hate?

I love a train far off in the distance, at night. It always sounds so mysterious. I also love those bugs in the summer that buzz. And thunder. And when a branch breaks during a winter storm–dramatic. Dramatic, and you know you have an official excuse not to go anywhere.

I hate leaf blowers and people who have no idea their laugh resonates throughout yonder. You always work with one asshole who doesn't realize this. I also hate the laughter of children. Okay, I'm making that up. Yesterday I was in my back room working with the screen door open because it was warm out, and I heard the kids in the corner yard and I smiled, which made me wonder what the hell is wrong with me and did the new antidepressants kick in.

PJ wondered if I was sick with worry that she was coming down with a cold.

No one likes a person who drones on about a cold, PJ. GOD.

Mrs. Gumby asked, How are the pets adjusting after their year abroad?

I think I answered this yesterday, but I'll answer again. All four of them absolutely knew where we were, and had zero trouble, so that's good. Iris was particularly happy to be in her back yard again, where way too many things got to live this past year. Not anymore, wildlife. Not anymore.

  IMG_6888
Iris, purr-pawing on my lap yesterday. She has her excited nose drip thing going on.

MTM/Phyllis. But really The Poet asked, If you were my nephew, would you rather receive a Star Wars Death Star Tea Infuser or a Star Wars R2-D2 Bento Lunch Box?

The Bento lunchbox.

Texas Kari asked, Have you worked on your book-to-blog project?

I have! Still not as much as I'd hoped to during my six weeks at Kaye's. I spent a lot of time at Kaye's crying on the bed till tears fell in my ears. But things are looking good in that department.

There are still six thousand questions to answer, and who should have said time's up and never did. Was it me? I'll answer the rest tomorrow, and in the meantime, here's my latest Purple Clover.

Your answer gal,

Juuuuuuuuune

43 Comments

  1. Thank you chrissy. That part of being divorced sucks, but thinking back at how my ex ruined most Christmas celebrations when we were together, it’s okay.

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  2. That’s so sad, Sandra! I swear half the reason I’m still married is just so I don’t have to spend holidays away from my kids. Great reason to stay married, right? Gah. I hope you are able to sleep in and enjoy a wonderful Christmas with him whenever you can!

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  3. This will be the first year my son won’t be with me christmas eve and christmas morning and i hate it so much. This is probably the last year he will believe in Santa and do all that. Oh well, I will make lasagna and watch movies and get over it!

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  4. Tee, I love pickled green beans. Do you mix corn with yours? My husband would eat homemade dressing every day if I would make it.

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  5. PSS, I thought you had adopted a dog.
    We don’t have any plans for Christmas day. We will go to the Christmas Eve Service at church, which is always really nice, but I think spending the day in my nightgown with a fire in the fireplace will be a good day. I think cooking might be in my day, however, because my husband has asked to cook a hen and I do think I agreed to make dressing and pickled (green) beans. I don’t think spending the day in my gown will work out after all.

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  6. Asking for a friend…Dead.
    I mostly laugh silently or quietly, don’t know why. I also love the sounds of a train in the distance and thunder. Although, maybe not when the thunder is so close and loud it makes me jump and I can only hope lightning didn’t strike anything.

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  7. “What sound or noise do you love? What sound or noise do you hate?
    …people who have no idea their laugh resonates throughout yonder. You always work with one asshole who doesn’t realize this.”
    What if the asshole has an exact idea and doesn’t care because they just love to laugh? So much so that they want people to remember them by saying, “oh, that asshole, they laughed easily, loudly and often!”
    Asking for a friend…

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  8. I enjoyed reading your As to our Qs, and I’m so glad to hear you have worked on your blog-to-book project!! Yea!
    I don’t like leaf blowers either, or their weird cousin the hair dryer, but I tolerate the hair dryer because it’s non-negotiable. Sorta like some real cousins.

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  9. Thanks for taking time to answer all our questions, June. When I read your blog each day it’s like a visit with a friend. It makes me happy. I’m sure everyone else feels the same way. Thank you for putting up with our nosy selves.

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  10. If I had to guess Julie, NedKitty is not sorry at all about the other animals being gone. She probably does miss chewing on Aunt June’s hair though!

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  11. You’re the best June!
    (People tell me that all the time and i am known to reply “Best what? Do tell! Certainly not the best ballet dancer or basketball player. So the best WHAT. BE SPECIFIC!” (Please see my book “Why Do People Gotta Hate Me?” )
    Off to roll in the clover!

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  12. I like your plan for Christmas day. I’m sure Brown Jesus approves. But, I would not be surprised if you ended up leaving your house or entertaining a visitor at some point.
    My kids want a dog under the tree and that’s all they care about. I’m about to have very two disappointed children next week because no dog yet. We may have to cancel Christmas.

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  13. I LOVE your Purple People Eater Christmas Idea. Also your Christmas plans.
    I watched It’s A Wonderful Life in your honor yesterday.

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  14. I LOVE your Purple People Eater Christmas Idea. Also your Christmas plans.
    I watched It’s A Wonderful Life in your honor yesterday.

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  15. I LOVE your Purple People Eater Christmas Idea. Also your Christmas plans.
    I watched It’s A Wonderful Life in your honor yesterday.

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  16. I get a bit confused with so many pets, but did Ned have a pet (Ned Kitty)? If it does exist and is not a product of my imagination, how is it doing? Especially that now all the other pet friends are gone? Am I worrying needlessly about Ned Kitty?

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  17. My husband makes Christmas MISERABLE for us, so I can understand your hatred of it, because I am getting there.
    Don’t misunderstand, he doesn’t drink or get violent or anything, it’s his unreal expectations, seriously he’s like a five year old with a wallet! Some days I want to brain him with my cast iron skillet!

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  18. I’m a little late on this, but you should try Portland Oregon, June. It’s as hip(ster) as Seattle but probably a tad cheaper. Same weather patterns, too, although that’s not really a selling point.

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  19. I love the sounds of trains in the distance. I also like falling asleep to a thunderstorm.
    We had a cat that drooled when we would pet her, but I haven’t seen the nose drip indicator of happiness. Does Edsel clean that right up for her?

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  20. Since moving to KC, I often hear a train in the distance late at night and it sounds lonely to me. Maybe a distant train is the new audio Rorschach Test!

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  21. With the drama behind us, my daughter asked to go away for Christmas Eve, for her present. Excellent idea. I was able to book a nice hotel downtown fairly inexpensive. No one is making “Christmas” dinner and I haven’t been invited anywhere. I would like to be invited.
    This is the first year I bought my own self my Christmas presents. I highly recommend this.

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  22. Hey Jooon….
    I loved this post…. funny, it kind of told me that… we are related… some funny similarities… love it… but of course, lololol there is no blood relation – so … hey it is all good – I am scratching my heard… but love your writing …

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  23. I spend the actual Christmas Day alone as well. I am SO making a CHRISTMAS FUCKING LASAGNA!!! Thank you for the splendid idea.

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  24. Oh, the annoying leaf blowers. There were a bunch whirring about yesterday.
    I have yet to read the PC article but I had thought of making a lasagne for a friend who recently separated. I wondered if that was a good idea. He’s also a vegetarian and gluten free so I would have to modify.

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  25. Your AF column gift idea is quite brilliant. As is giving everyone lasagna. Because nothing says love like lasagna. As you can see, I’m with you on the whole Christmas thing. I’m going skiing. And I’m NOT wearing a Santa hat.

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  26. I just love reading your answers, June. Even though I was too boring to think of a question.
    The gift idea in the Aubergine Florals column is genius. I know what my husband would say, though, and he is not getting it. Not THAT often, anyway. I’ll think about my parents and friends. I’m sure there is some way I can be better in those areas. I should probably start by listening more.

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  27. I can not tell you how much I am enjoying your answers. They all make me smile.
    If you would like to come to Christmas at my house you are invited. We go to my sisters on the Eve, so you would have one night alone. We begin on the 23rd. It is over on the 26th.
    Excellent post, June!

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  28. Really love the Aubergine Florals column. The pressure of this month makes me want to puke. Your idea is MUCH better.

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  29. Isn’t this Facebook? Oh.
    But all those Lethas around here, we probably should differentiate somehow.

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  30. You do realize that now everyone in your town is going to cajole, console, invite and woo you for Christmas. Gird up, June!
    Again, lovely As.

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