The one where we’re all sorry we had freaking question day 264 days ago.


I may or may not have given Lu a Tostito the other day. Behold her crunchy face. She wants you all to know she is delighted that such a flattering photo is going on the Internet. Lu is not allowed to say "Interwebs." Nor are any of you.

Yesterday I had my regularly scheduled workday, screamed home and did some freelance work at noon, screamed back to work and worked on a huge presentation, then at 5:00 I stayed and wrote Purple Clover, which was due, then screamed home and fed everyone, then screamed to the old movie theater, where they were showing It's a Wonderful Life.

I was dead asleep by 9:45.

Let's scream to your questions from the other day. Yes, again. IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU HAD SO MANY.

Texas Kari, for whom I am grateful asked, How did you become a church secretary? How did you decide to be an editor?

I became a church secretary because we moved to TinyTown and I had nothing to do but take walks all the time. I'd always stop at this beautiful gothic church to catch my breath, because we lived at the bottom of the world's tallest hill, and the church was at the top. Finally one Sunday I went to church there so I could see the inside. The priest, Father Mike, knew who I was (in a town of 3,000, you know the new folk) and asked if I needed a job. I worked Monday through Thursday, 8 till noon. In an empty old beautiful church. The only interruptions I had were the old church ladies who'd stop by. I love love loved that job.

I became an editor because I was a receptionist after college, and Marvin wouldn't hear of it. "You can be doing so much more," he said. So he pretty much made me apply for a proofreading job 19 years ago, and the rest is history.

LisaPie in Texas wondered, Do you know how many pounds of pork I need to buy to make a gazillion dozen tamales next week?

Eighty. And you know what sounds delicious? Pork tamales.

KR asked, 1. Mid century modern furniture guy??? D. Are the loud little girls with snowball still your neighbors back in your new/old neighborhood? £. How is Charlie?

1. What about him? Did you not see the post a few weeks back where we had our photo taken together?

D. Snowflake. You guys have called that poor dog every name but his real name. I haven't seen them, but it's winter, and also they're probably all sort of old for playing on the swings now. I did see two preteen girls walk past, and I wondered if one of those girls was one of the Snowflake girls, but I wasn't certain. When we DO see each other, I am certain they'll still bellow, HI, ETHEL! HI, LALUUULA! They were not bright.

£. Charlie and his girlfriend broke up, and he is going to a nursing home as a result. This makes him sad, as you can imagine. But his girlfriend, who is an amazing person, is in her late 20s/early 30s and has spent the last several years being his primary caregiver. She has a chance for a big promotion at work, and she can't take said promotion till she moves to Boston, and she's finally doing that at the first of the year.

Bama Carol asked, How are you doing, really? Just concerned.

Eh, Not great.

Linda from Jamestown asked, What is the name of the bar where you go dancing, when you do go out dancing, that is? I love to dance, but all the clubs around town are full of 20 somethings.

Well, I go to Chemistry, the gay bar, but some nights no one dances till midnight. There are also pop-up dance parties for old people. I get Facebook notices for those, so look on Facebook for them. They are sometimes at Printworks, those dance parties. If you see someone there with hair, dancing like an idiot, come say hi.

Nithya asked, Would you rather live your whole life being the only person who smells a truly disgusting smell OR be the source of that smell so others smell it when you're around but you are happy and cannot smell it?

I pondered this for awhile, and I think I would want to smell the smell than BE the smell.

My Mother's Best Friend asked, June: Why did you hog all the stuffing on Thanksgiving?

Dear Gwen, I got two words for ya, and they ain't "Let's dance."

Rogue asked, How do you manage to stay upbeat with everything that happens?

Oh, please. I'm not. I'm not sleeping and I mope around like a sad bat. I have no idea why I just picked "sad bat." I guess cause they hang around all day. Anyway, also Lexapro.

Karen in VB wondered, Have you had that wonderful test we are all supposed to have after turning 50?

No. I have not. I'm trying to think of it as a cleanse.

Karen in VB wrote back to ask, Have you tried the Duplin wines? They are all very sweet.

Ugh, no. They sound awful. In fact, Ned's family has a story about that wine, where on Christmas one relative went on and on about how dreadful that wine was, and then she opened her gift it was, like, a case of the Duplin wine. So…heh. Yeah.

Oh thank god, that's all the questions. Oh, and you know what? Today is my nine-year-anniversary of blogging! Here is my first, really boring, post. June Cutoff Cash. Hah! Heh. Yeah.

Hee-haw and Merry Christmas,